I’ve been eating humble pie all morning. The “resistible” craving actually started yesterday on my way home from work, and woke me up out of my sleep at 4:30a this morning. I’m really a bit unsure about how I go about writing this entry. I think I know what I need to say, but so much is going through my head that it may come out a little run-on. So bear with me.
Ok, so I’ve been re-reading The Purpose Driven Life. I read it about 5 years ago, and enjoyed it immensely. But I have to admit, when I read it then my Christian walk was very shallow, and I think I was more caught up in the “best seller” aspect of the book, than what the Lord wanted me to get out of it. But now I’m maturer in my walk, and hearing what the book is saying. Each chapter seems to be speaking louder and louder.
When I first read The Purpose Driven Life, I was fascinated with its introduction:
“It’s not about you.”
I’d like to think that I’m one that is not caught up in self. Granted, I am single and childless, and so a few “selfish” perks comes along with the status. But I’ve never been self-seeking, or self-serving, or selfish. And I think that grew from a childhood incident when I was about 6 or 7 years old. We had traveled to Columbia, SC to visit my grandmother’s brother and sister-in-law. And when we got there my grandmother’s sister-in-law, ok my aunt, told my grandmother to come back to her bedroom. I followed. There were several adults in the room talking, and so I casually got out of the way and took a seat on the bed. All of a sudden, my aunt screamed…….. “You are to NEVER sit on a person’s bed, sit on the floor!!” And so I sat on the floor, and have taken the low road ever since. Even in business meetings when I know that my input is just as important as any of the other attendees, I will take a side chair rather than sit at the table. Call it what you want…….but I don't take it as being inferior.
So I get this invitation.
Ok, let me just say that I’m not a public-speaking type of person, but my career requires it and so……I have to do my job. And although I’d like to be considered a leader, and think I carry the traits, I am indeed a follower. In grad school, we were instructed to come up with a leadership theory in my Leadership Development class. The theory had to be supported by facts, and with a leadership model. And so my leadership theory was…….. “The greatest leader is the greatest follower.” And I supported it with the New Testament. And I’ve ALWAYS felt this way, and delivered my theory with confidence. But remind you……this was not a Christian-based graduate program, and so I didn’t get the grade I thought I deserved. Anyway………
So, I get this invitation from a fellow blog-reader.
Ok, let me say this too. If I could be a life-long student, I would be. I love learning, and I thirst for knowledge---daily. And so over the last few weeks I’ve been pursuing a Christian Life Coach certificate program. Not that I need another career, but because I believe it is part of the ministry the Lord is leading me in. So taking the classes puts me in my zone----as a student. But implementing the knowledge takes me out of my zone-----as a facilitator. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong sistah and can handle the task at hand……don’t get it twisted---lolol. But I’m getting the humble pie cravings because I realize that there’s a very thin line between ministry and me. And there’s a very thin line between promoting “Jill’s Name” and “Jesus Name”.
Ok, can I just be frank today????? It appalls me to see all of these self-serving “ministries”. I mean c’mon now---billboards with the pastor and his wife’s glamour shots bling-blinging over their bedazzled name. Where’s Jesus’ name????? And I don’t think talking about the cars and businesses will fit in this entry, so I digress on those. But where is the Christian movement moving to???? I used to think it was the money-seeking opportunities. You know you can make a lot of money off of Christians, right???? Talk about self-seeking. That’s one reason why I refuse to paste my ad on this blog. I see the numbers coming through here daily, and boy o’boy……cha’ ching. NOT!!!!
But I used to think it was about the money, and it was. Back in the 90s there was a huge paradigm shift into the “prosperity” realm, but I think a lot are figuring out that their new found wealth can’t buy a cure for cancer. Unfortunately, some are still roaming in the dark looking for a quick buck or two.
But now I think it’s……….the IMAGE movement. Everything has to be done in EXCELLENCE. And Christians have to now be self-EMPOWERED. According to what Bible??????? God gives us enough strength to get us to call on HIM. Our little “excellence” can’t do nothing for God, but move Him out the way and put on our fake “look at successful me” image. And then everybody wants to write a book to tell their “I’m a success example” story. And empowerment……empower to do what? The only power we need is Holy Ghost power, and that clearly makes us die to ourselves.
So I get this invitation. And I’m stuck.
The invitation is to speak to a group of women---I guess to “empower” them---because apparently the reader likes what I’m saying in this blog. Ok, can I just say that what I blog about is just a fraction of who I am and just a fraction of the entirety of my Christian walk. Many intimate details are left out daily to protect my loved ones privacy (and mine), as well as the deep intimacy I share with Christ. And although what I say here is indeed written out of integrity and from a pure motive-----I GOT ISSUES. I know, I know…..those are the ones the Lord would rather use, not the ones who have “made it”. But have I really been called to lecture to women???? I mean, I did inquire about the Christian Life Coach program. But to deliver in what capacity? I’m thinking more on a one-on-one basis, because I do find myself “counseling” my loved ones and colleagues on a regular. But even with my informal one-on-ones, I want to ensure that I’m being led of the Lord. Ok, aside from that if I don’t know anything else……I know that I’m powerful, I can influence many, and I have a keen listening ear. That coupled with my tenacity and superior work ethics can seal ANY deal. But that’s ME in the flesh! Unfortunately, and I’d have to admit that, working in the workplace calls for a little aggressiveness which can question motives. Take for instance…….going up for a promotion. If it’s between me and a fellow colleague, I’m going to put my best foot forward to shine and beat out my competition. That’s within the confines of integrity, but its still competition nonetheless. I guess the question is……would my professional skills and abilities be the perfect formula for ministry? I would have to honestly say NO. Cause where would God fit into the equation? And how do I separate Jill’s leadership capabilities from ministry’s servant requirements? Cause forget what you heard, according to the Word of God, a true minister of the Gospel is a humbled servant, NOT A GREAT LEADER. But I am a servant at heart. Would that come off effective enough for ministry. It’s so easy to see how one could get caught up in promoting self instead of truly promoting Jesus. Because a lot of us are leading ministries off of our strengths, and not out of our weakness as the Lord requires. The Word says....... "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
So I’ve been eating humble pie, because I have a good hunch that the Lord is calling me into ministry. But I’m hesitant to answer because I have to know that I am not operating out of self-serving motives (deep breath).
“So now I charge you in the sight of all Israel and of the assembly of the LORD, and in the hearing of our God: Be careful to follow all the commands of the LORD your God, that you may possess this good land and pass it on as an inheritance to your descendants forever. And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.” -- 1 Chronicles 28:8-10
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Perfect Peace
I slept like a baby last night. In fact, I don’t even remember falling asleep. I do remember getting in the bed, under the two comforters, and fluffing the pillows----but I don’t remember falling asleep. I did turn out the lights, but usually I’d turn on the television or pray until I drift off. But nope---I didn’t even pray. At least I don’t remember praying. When I woke up it was close to 6:00a. I opened my eyes looked around and wondered what day it was. I did notice that I was in the same position as I was when I turned out the light at 10:30p. But I didn’t even make one round to the bathroom. Umph!!! Dag-on that sleep felt good.
Ok, so I went to the gym last night---first time in about 20 days (I WAS FASTING—ALRIGHT!!!). I had a wonderful workout. When I got home, I cooked dinner and sat on the sofa to watch Decision House. The episode last night featured Todd Bridges (Diff’rent Strokes) and his wife Dori of ten years. I guess to sum up their “issue” that brought them to the house was that Dori feels that Todd is controlling, and Todd feels that Dori wants to run free without taking care of her “wifely” duties. Umph! Being a Healthy Marriage Specialist for the Federal Government and after having a great deal of training in marriage education, I’m often amazed at what we allow to become “issues” which can result in destroying not just a relationship, but an individual. Not to mention the children. Todd said point blank……“because I have childhood issues that left me feeling abandoned, I feel like if I release control from my wife I will lose her. And I can’t take another loss.” Wow!! At that moment, I got it!!! The light bulb turned on and shined on a personal situation and I got it!!! It may not have anything to do with marriage, or Todd Bridges, or to be honest not even me for that matter………but I got it. The Lord gave me a revelation that I had been questioning for months. And I got it!!! And as soon as I got it………the peace of God came over me so heavily.
So this morning when I woke, I had to thank God for His peace. I often hear people say that it’s very challenging to be a Christian, and that sometimes they feel like giving up---like what’s the use. Can't take the suffering and does He really hear me. I’d be the first to admit that I have a list of PLEASE PLEASE LORD that I have yet to see, but that’s called walking in faith. And so that guides me. Not the thought that I will get what I want, but the knowing that God’s will will be done. My mother always uses this phrase----and I’ve adopted it----that when we ask her to pray that we will get a certain thing she says….. “if it’s the Lord’s will you will get it, and if its not then you don’t want it”. And so that’s how I live my life. But it’s not easy. Living in God’s will and trying to see pass what I want is not easy. And can be very disappointing. But there is one thing that is yeah and amen, and IMMEDIATE…. and that’s the peace of God. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have peace. It’s like I’m sitting in the Lord’s lap like a baby. And we’re in this beautiful bright nursery. And He’s not letting me go, and not letting anybody mess with His baby. And I feel safe, like my Daddy is protecting me. Cause He is.
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. --Isaiah 26:3
Ok, so I went to the gym last night---first time in about 20 days (I WAS FASTING—ALRIGHT!!!). I had a wonderful workout. When I got home, I cooked dinner and sat on the sofa to watch Decision House. The episode last night featured Todd Bridges (Diff’rent Strokes) and his wife Dori of ten years. I guess to sum up their “issue” that brought them to the house was that Dori feels that Todd is controlling, and Todd feels that Dori wants to run free without taking care of her “wifely” duties. Umph! Being a Healthy Marriage Specialist for the Federal Government and after having a great deal of training in marriage education, I’m often amazed at what we allow to become “issues” which can result in destroying not just a relationship, but an individual. Not to mention the children. Todd said point blank……“because I have childhood issues that left me feeling abandoned, I feel like if I release control from my wife I will lose her. And I can’t take another loss.” Wow!! At that moment, I got it!!! The light bulb turned on and shined on a personal situation and I got it!!! It may not have anything to do with marriage, or Todd Bridges, or to be honest not even me for that matter………but I got it. The Lord gave me a revelation that I had been questioning for months. And I got it!!! And as soon as I got it………the peace of God came over me so heavily.
So this morning when I woke, I had to thank God for His peace. I often hear people say that it’s very challenging to be a Christian, and that sometimes they feel like giving up---like what’s the use. Can't take the suffering and does He really hear me. I’d be the first to admit that I have a list of PLEASE PLEASE LORD that I have yet to see, but that’s called walking in faith. And so that guides me. Not the thought that I will get what I want, but the knowing that God’s will will be done. My mother always uses this phrase----and I’ve adopted it----that when we ask her to pray that we will get a certain thing she says….. “if it’s the Lord’s will you will get it, and if its not then you don’t want it”. And so that’s how I live my life. But it’s not easy. Living in God’s will and trying to see pass what I want is not easy. And can be very disappointing. But there is one thing that is yeah and amen, and IMMEDIATE…. and that’s the peace of God. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have peace. It’s like I’m sitting in the Lord’s lap like a baby. And we’re in this beautiful bright nursery. And He’s not letting me go, and not letting anybody mess with His baby. And I feel safe, like my Daddy is protecting me. Cause He is.
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. --Isaiah 26:3
Monday, July 28, 2008
Am I Dreaming?
I am a dreamer. No doubt about it. But not a daydreamer. Or one of those who operates their lives in fantasy land. But a dreamer in terms of God speaking to me in my dreams. I've always been this way since I was a little girl. The Lord will give me deep messages in a dream. Is that prophecy? Wow, am I a prophet---lololol? Wow!!!
Like one time I dreamt that a plane had crashed into the roof of my nephew's grandparents house. (Oh, that's another thing. Not to get too off track, but when I dream of people who are not in my subconscious or recent thoughts, then I know the Lord is speaking). So anyway, I dreamt that a plane crashed into my nephew's grandparents house. This was several years ago. I woke up baffled. Very baffled. I mean, my nephew's grandparents are my grandparent's neighbors. We have all been a part of an extended family for close to forty years. Quite naturally the dream bothered me. Was it a message directed to my grandparents? I mean, that dream really bothered me. About a week after the dream, guess what happened.......yep, you guessed it......9/11!! And guess what else..........my nephew's grandparents house is located in New York.
This is one of many, many dreams. I have these types of dreams at least once or twice a week. I remember another dream that was just revealed last week. A couple of years ago, I dreamt that me and my friend Elizabeth was called to fight a war. And so we were instructed to get on a bus because the bus would take us to our sleeping quarters. On the bus with us was one of our colleagues named Wanda. For years, after the dream, I'm thinking why was WANDA in that dream. When I first started working for this agency, Wanda had a silent hate towards me. Some says it was jealousy, but I never received it because I'm not that shallow to assume someone is jealous of me. Even if she was, I never understood why, and that was a good thing because over the years it faded away. Anyway, back to the dream----so me, Elizabeth, and Wanda got to our sleeping quarters---which were clearly army barracks. In the barrack, I was going back in forth with Elizabeth in choosing a bed. It was really weird. After having that dream, I told Elizabeth about it. We both concluded that here on our job a war was going on and Wanda, who worked with us, obviously represented "a fight". That was our interpretation back in 2005 when I had the dream.
Hmmmmm............. Ok, so two weeks ago I go with Elizabeth to the Pentecostal camp meeting (see my entry, Back to Pentecost). And when we finally got to our room after service, we were going back and forth trying to figure out who would sleep in which bed. Then it hits me....... This is the dream I dreamt a couple of years ago!! Yes, this is it!!! This is the place!!!! I was so excited to get a revelation. So after the camp meeting, when I'm leaving, I'm heading to my car and I see Elizabeth's friend from New York---our other roommate---and she's looking so vexed. She's outside of the tabernacle pacing back and forth. And even though we shared rooms, we hadn't had a chance to hold a conversation. And that's only because we only stayed in the room long enough to sleep and dress, and I didn't eat with them because I was fasting. Anyway, so I kept contemplating if I should say something, pray for her, ask if she needed to talk, or what. So I go over to her---didn't even remember her name--- just to tell her that I was leaving and that I enjoyed my time. So she looks up, hugs me and says......"I forgot your name", and I tell her "Jill". And she says, "oh, ok, nice to formally meet you.......my name is Wanda." I was stunned!!! And even more stunned when after I returned to work Elizabeth told me that Wanda apologized to her for holding a silent "hate" towards her because Elizabeth still maintained a cordial friendship with Wanda's ex-boyfriend. Elizabeth said they rejoiced because Wanda went back to New York set-free!!!!! Umph!!!!
So this past Friday, I had another dream. This one was a bit strange because it was about me. Ok, so in the dream I'm getting off of the bus at the metro station to catch a train. Must've been headed to work. Anyway, my arms are full with stuff and so I pass by a trash can and throw something in. Then I realize that I threw my umbrella in and didn't mean to. So I turn around and go back to get the umbrella, but what I meant to throw away was my empty water bottle. Ok, the water bottle. Much emphasis was on this water bottle because the bottle was like a slim 12 oz bottle. It was quite small. Not what I would normally drink. The bottle was clearly empty but with a drop of water left. Not enough to drink, so I throw the bottle in the trash and dig out my umbrella---my black umbrella that I usually carry in my tote bag. After getting the umbrella, as I'm walking towards the train, I look up and see the clouds which were soooo gray as if any minute it was going to storm. I hear a few saying that it is supposed to be a heavy downpour and so I'm so glad that I have my umbrella. Then I wake up. And I'm baffled. And a little bothered because I'm thinking..........I can't take another storm or disappointment. I knew that the umbrella represented protection, but the "black" umbrella threw me for a loop. And usually dark clouds represent storm. And so all weekend I was baffled. I then concluded that if I'm to go through more storm then I knew the Lord would protect me.
So yesterday I'm looking at one of my favorite television networks.......DayStar, and Joel Osteen's ministry comes on. Ok, I'm thinking......do I feel like watching Joel today???........ I mean, I love Joel and his ministry---especially since Israel Houghton is his Minister of Music--- but I be needing a little more UMPH!!! Joel be too happy for me sometimes---lolol. It seems like life to him is one big yellow smiley face---lolol. Almost pretentious. Anyway, aside with my differences, I tuned in and listened. And guess what his message was entitled........."Living in the Rain of God's Favor." As I'm listening, the Lord began to interpret my dream. Ok, the empty water bottle represents the dryness (desert place) that I've been going through---see my past few blog entries. And throwing the bottle away represents that I was no longer in that dry place. And the umbrella does mean protection, and that's because the rain, not the storm, was going to pour down heavy on my dry place. As Joel talked about clouds and rain, I was stiff. I couldn't even move cause it was hitting what was in my dream. And again, I knew that the Lord was speaking.
Like one time I dreamt that a plane had crashed into the roof of my nephew's grandparents house. (Oh, that's another thing. Not to get too off track, but when I dream of people who are not in my subconscious or recent thoughts, then I know the Lord is speaking). So anyway, I dreamt that a plane crashed into my nephew's grandparents house. This was several years ago. I woke up baffled. Very baffled. I mean, my nephew's grandparents are my grandparent's neighbors. We have all been a part of an extended family for close to forty years. Quite naturally the dream bothered me. Was it a message directed to my grandparents? I mean, that dream really bothered me. About a week after the dream, guess what happened.......yep, you guessed it......9/11!! And guess what else..........my nephew's grandparents house is located in New York.
This is one of many, many dreams. I have these types of dreams at least once or twice a week. I remember another dream that was just revealed last week. A couple of years ago, I dreamt that me and my friend Elizabeth was called to fight a war. And so we were instructed to get on a bus because the bus would take us to our sleeping quarters. On the bus with us was one of our colleagues named Wanda. For years, after the dream, I'm thinking why was WANDA in that dream. When I first started working for this agency, Wanda had a silent hate towards me. Some says it was jealousy, but I never received it because I'm not that shallow to assume someone is jealous of me. Even if she was, I never understood why, and that was a good thing because over the years it faded away. Anyway, back to the dream----so me, Elizabeth, and Wanda got to our sleeping quarters---which were clearly army barracks. In the barrack, I was going back in forth with Elizabeth in choosing a bed. It was really weird. After having that dream, I told Elizabeth about it. We both concluded that here on our job a war was going on and Wanda, who worked with us, obviously represented "a fight". That was our interpretation back in 2005 when I had the dream.
Hmmmmm............. Ok, so two weeks ago I go with Elizabeth to the Pentecostal camp meeting (see my entry, Back to Pentecost). And when we finally got to our room after service, we were going back and forth trying to figure out who would sleep in which bed. Then it hits me....... This is the dream I dreamt a couple of years ago!! Yes, this is it!!! This is the place!!!! I was so excited to get a revelation. So after the camp meeting, when I'm leaving, I'm heading to my car and I see Elizabeth's friend from New York---our other roommate---and she's looking so vexed. She's outside of the tabernacle pacing back and forth. And even though we shared rooms, we hadn't had a chance to hold a conversation. And that's only because we only stayed in the room long enough to sleep and dress, and I didn't eat with them because I was fasting. Anyway, so I kept contemplating if I should say something, pray for her, ask if she needed to talk, or what. So I go over to her---didn't even remember her name--- just to tell her that I was leaving and that I enjoyed my time. So she looks up, hugs me and says......"I forgot your name", and I tell her "Jill". And she says, "oh, ok, nice to formally meet you.......my name is Wanda." I was stunned!!! And even more stunned when after I returned to work Elizabeth told me that Wanda apologized to her for holding a silent "hate" towards her because Elizabeth still maintained a cordial friendship with Wanda's ex-boyfriend. Elizabeth said they rejoiced because Wanda went back to New York set-free!!!!! Umph!!!!
So this past Friday, I had another dream. This one was a bit strange because it was about me. Ok, so in the dream I'm getting off of the bus at the metro station to catch a train. Must've been headed to work. Anyway, my arms are full with stuff and so I pass by a trash can and throw something in. Then I realize that I threw my umbrella in and didn't mean to. So I turn around and go back to get the umbrella, but what I meant to throw away was my empty water bottle. Ok, the water bottle. Much emphasis was on this water bottle because the bottle was like a slim 12 oz bottle. It was quite small. Not what I would normally drink. The bottle was clearly empty but with a drop of water left. Not enough to drink, so I throw the bottle in the trash and dig out my umbrella---my black umbrella that I usually carry in my tote bag. After getting the umbrella, as I'm walking towards the train, I look up and see the clouds which were soooo gray as if any minute it was going to storm. I hear a few saying that it is supposed to be a heavy downpour and so I'm so glad that I have my umbrella. Then I wake up. And I'm baffled. And a little bothered because I'm thinking..........I can't take another storm or disappointment. I knew that the umbrella represented protection, but the "black" umbrella threw me for a loop. And usually dark clouds represent storm. And so all weekend I was baffled. I then concluded that if I'm to go through more storm then I knew the Lord would protect me.
So yesterday I'm looking at one of my favorite television networks.......DayStar, and Joel Osteen's ministry comes on. Ok, I'm thinking......do I feel like watching Joel today???........ I mean, I love Joel and his ministry---especially since Israel Houghton is his Minister of Music--- but I be needing a little more UMPH!!! Joel be too happy for me sometimes---lolol. It seems like life to him is one big yellow smiley face---lolol. Almost pretentious. Anyway, aside with my differences, I tuned in and listened. And guess what his message was entitled........."Living in the Rain of God's Favor." As I'm listening, the Lord began to interpret my dream. Ok, the empty water bottle represents the dryness (desert place) that I've been going through---see my past few blog entries. And throwing the bottle away represents that I was no longer in that dry place. And the umbrella does mean protection, and that's because the rain, not the storm, was going to pour down heavy on my dry place. As Joel talked about clouds and rain, I was stiff. I couldn't even move cause it was hitting what was in my dream. And again, I knew that the Lord was speaking.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Sleepless in Maryland
Today, I am tired. I was so sleepy this morning that I forgot to take my One-A-Day Energy vitamin. That’s just how tired I am. And without that darn vitamin......uh, ok, we’ll see. It’s usually like this on Fridays, though. Not the forgetting to take the vitamin part, but feeling like my energy level is on EMPTY. And after working a long work week, the best thing for my mental and physical well-being is to take my happy self home and be in the bed no later than 10p. That’s so I can at least enjoy the bulk of my weekend---Saturday and Sunday. Shucks, got a meeting at church tonight that will probably run til about 9:30p. Umph. Never ends.
Ok, so all week I’ve been waking up around 2:00a and not being able to fall back to sleep right away. This morning I woke up at 2:47a, and didn’t fall back to sleep until after 5:30a. It’s been this way everyday with two people HEAVILY on my mind, and shaking me out of my sleep. And since these two people have a lifetime membership in the biggest places of my heart it was only my duty to rise up and PRAY!! My heart is so tender for them right now. So I can’t just sit back and watch them suffer, all though I know that suffering and misery are what drives most of us closer to God. But they are my loved ones, and the best I can do is pray for them as they go through their trials and tests.
So as I’ve been doing all week in private, I need to make this prayer public so that satan is fully aware that he has no place in my loved ones lives. None of them!!! So here goes:
SATAN!!! YOU ARE STILL DEFEATED AND WILL NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO DESTROY NEITHER ONE!!! THEY HAVE BOTH DENOUNCED YOU IN EVERY PART OF THEIR BEING. THEY ARE BOTH THE RIGHTEOUS CHILDREN OF CHRIST JESUS AND HAVE BOTH CHOSEN CHRIST AS LORD OF THEIR LIVES. YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY CANCEL YOUR PLANS OF DISRUPTION IN THEIR MINDS, THEIR BODIES, THEIR HEARTS, THEIR SOULS, THEIR FAMILIES, THEIR FINANCES, THEIR HEALTH, THEIR EMOTIONS, AND THEIR PRESENT AND FUTURE!! YOU ARE DEFEATED NOW AND FOREVER AND YOUR PLANS HAVE BEEN REJECTED!!!! DECLINED!!!
I NOW SPEAK THE PEACE OF GOD OVER BOTH OF MY LOVED ONES, AND DECLARE THAT TODAY---JULY 25TH---THEY WILL ACCEPT AND FULFILL THE CALLING THAT THE LORD HAS PLACED UPON THEIR LIVES. OBEDIENCE, OBEDIENCE, OBEDIENCE---IS WHAT THE LORD IS SAYING!!! FEAR AND INSECURITY ARE NO LONGER ISSUES.
ALL OF THIS I CLAIM IN JESUS NAME!!!
Ok, so all week I’ve been waking up around 2:00a and not being able to fall back to sleep right away. This morning I woke up at 2:47a, and didn’t fall back to sleep until after 5:30a. It’s been this way everyday with two people HEAVILY on my mind, and shaking me out of my sleep. And since these two people have a lifetime membership in the biggest places of my heart it was only my duty to rise up and PRAY!! My heart is so tender for them right now. So I can’t just sit back and watch them suffer, all though I know that suffering and misery are what drives most of us closer to God. But they are my loved ones, and the best I can do is pray for them as they go through their trials and tests.
So as I’ve been doing all week in private, I need to make this prayer public so that satan is fully aware that he has no place in my loved ones lives. None of them!!! So here goes:
SATAN!!! YOU ARE STILL DEFEATED AND WILL NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO DESTROY NEITHER ONE!!! THEY HAVE BOTH DENOUNCED YOU IN EVERY PART OF THEIR BEING. THEY ARE BOTH THE RIGHTEOUS CHILDREN OF CHRIST JESUS AND HAVE BOTH CHOSEN CHRIST AS LORD OF THEIR LIVES. YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY CANCEL YOUR PLANS OF DISRUPTION IN THEIR MINDS, THEIR BODIES, THEIR HEARTS, THEIR SOULS, THEIR FAMILIES, THEIR FINANCES, THEIR HEALTH, THEIR EMOTIONS, AND THEIR PRESENT AND FUTURE!! YOU ARE DEFEATED NOW AND FOREVER AND YOUR PLANS HAVE BEEN REJECTED!!!! DECLINED!!!
I NOW SPEAK THE PEACE OF GOD OVER BOTH OF MY LOVED ONES, AND DECLARE THAT TODAY---JULY 25TH---THEY WILL ACCEPT AND FULFILL THE CALLING THAT THE LORD HAS PLACED UPON THEIR LIVES. OBEDIENCE, OBEDIENCE, OBEDIENCE---IS WHAT THE LORD IS SAYING!!! FEAR AND INSECURITY ARE NO LONGER ISSUES.
ALL OF THIS I CLAIM IN JESUS NAME!!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Day 14!
What a beautiful morning! That’s what I said when I walked out of my building and down to the bus stop this morning. I mean, it’s July and it looks as if it were spring, and feels like it's the fall. C’mon—JULY??? I take it that this beautiful day was given to me as congratulations for completing this 14-day Spiritual journey. Not quite finished yet, still have hours to go, but what a way to welcome the end of my fast.
Wow, how do I start?
Um, let me first say that it is not a practice for me to “discuss” my fasting----especially publicly in a blog. I’m a very private person. I don’t share too much of my personal life with anybody, including some family. But I was led to do this blog back in April for the sole purposes of spreading the Gospel by opening up about my daily Christian walk. I think the world needs to know that this Christian journey is not easy, definitely not about getting things, we fall down, we hurt, we get angry, WE GET CONFUSED, but we don’t compromise our relationship with Christ. And so I think it is part of my calling to let folk know that we can be in the world, but not of the world. It’s funny because I’m commended all the time for being a great listener, because I rarely speak. In fact, one of my colleagues---a Caucasian, 60-year old senior executive---gave me the weirdest compliment. He said, “Jill it fascinates me to hear you think.” When he said it, I was blown away. It just confirmed that my thoughts needed to be shared. BUT if you ask me my advice about something……ok take a seat---lololol. I like to think of myself as an introverted-extrovert----LOLOL.
Ok, so last night as I was in prayer I began praising and thanking the Lord for this 14-day journey, as well as reflecting on the many experiences that have come out of it. I always feel like I have a “Give Me a Prophecy, Please!” posted on my forehead because there’s always a Word coming to me on a regular basis. But these ones in the last two weeks have been complete confirmation to what the Lord had already been speaking to me. And so, as I was praying last night I couldn’t say much pass THANK YOU.
So this morning as I’m starting my work day, I take a moment to stop into Elizabeth’s office. Hadn’t seen her all week, since the camp meeting, and so when I walked in she screamed. She commended me for looking so vibrant. Elizabeth and I have shared a lot over the years, and she’s about the only one who I’ve been able to open up to completely with deep personal matters and the affect/effect they have on my Spiritual walk. She’s definitely my sister in Christ. Anyway, she began to share with me---a praise report---a situation with one of her girlfriends. And as I was listening, I felt like the Lord had used Elizabeth's girlfriend situation to speak to me. Does that make sense--lol??? And so I’m listening and at that moment I hear the Lord's voice.
For the last few months, the story of Abraham and Isaac has been ringing in my head. Oh, little Isaac. The beloved son promised to Sarah, and given to her in her old age.
Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.” “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.” Genesis 22:1-2
It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. Hebrews 11:17-18.
Then [Abraham] reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied. "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."
The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me." Genesis 22:10-18
There’s nothing more I need to say, for the Lord has the final Word.
Wow, how do I start?
Um, let me first say that it is not a practice for me to “discuss” my fasting----especially publicly in a blog. I’m a very private person. I don’t share too much of my personal life with anybody, including some family. But I was led to do this blog back in April for the sole purposes of spreading the Gospel by opening up about my daily Christian walk. I think the world needs to know that this Christian journey is not easy, definitely not about getting things, we fall down, we hurt, we get angry, WE GET CONFUSED, but we don’t compromise our relationship with Christ. And so I think it is part of my calling to let folk know that we can be in the world, but not of the world. It’s funny because I’m commended all the time for being a great listener, because I rarely speak. In fact, one of my colleagues---a Caucasian, 60-year old senior executive---gave me the weirdest compliment. He said, “Jill it fascinates me to hear you think.” When he said it, I was blown away. It just confirmed that my thoughts needed to be shared. BUT if you ask me my advice about something……ok take a seat---lololol. I like to think of myself as an introverted-extrovert----LOLOL.
Ok, so last night as I was in prayer I began praising and thanking the Lord for this 14-day journey, as well as reflecting on the many experiences that have come out of it. I always feel like I have a “Give Me a Prophecy, Please!” posted on my forehead because there’s always a Word coming to me on a regular basis. But these ones in the last two weeks have been complete confirmation to what the Lord had already been speaking to me. And so, as I was praying last night I couldn’t say much pass THANK YOU.
So this morning as I’m starting my work day, I take a moment to stop into Elizabeth’s office. Hadn’t seen her all week, since the camp meeting, and so when I walked in she screamed. She commended me for looking so vibrant. Elizabeth and I have shared a lot over the years, and she’s about the only one who I’ve been able to open up to completely with deep personal matters and the affect/effect they have on my Spiritual walk. She’s definitely my sister in Christ. Anyway, she began to share with me---a praise report---a situation with one of her girlfriends. And as I was listening, I felt like the Lord had used Elizabeth's girlfriend situation to speak to me. Does that make sense--lol??? And so I’m listening and at that moment I hear the Lord's voice.
For the last few months, the story of Abraham and Isaac has been ringing in my head. Oh, little Isaac. The beloved son promised to Sarah, and given to her in her old age.
Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.” “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.” Genesis 22:1-2
It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. Hebrews 11:17-18.
Then [Abraham] reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied. "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."
The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me." Genesis 22:10-18
There’s nothing more I need to say, for the Lord has the final Word.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Then the Music Stops!!!
Boy, oh boy!! I see I'm being weened off the Gerber for sure!! This fast has been an AMAZING experience. Unlike previous fasts, this one is definitely teaching me how to go even deeper with the Lord.
I don't even know where to begin. Ok, let me begin here:
On Saturday, while at the camp meeting (see my previous post, Back to Pentecost) I had a conversation with an elderly woman I met. Don't know how the conversation began, nor did I understand where it was going, but I always try to be obedient to whomever the Lord places in my path. I'm fully aware that the Lord could use anybody to get a message across, and when the elderly are speaking---I listen. Anyway, the absolutely beautiful woman says to me in her heavy Puerto Rican dialect, "I don't understand this worship with music thing. In my days back in Puerto Rico we didn't have music and we allowed the Holy Spirit to flow with just the praise from our mouth. NO MUSIC!!!" All I could say was..........you're right.
Then on Sunday evening as I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life (for the second time), I come across the chapter where Rick Warren explains how worship is not about music. He also talks about how if not used for the right intentions, music can become a form of idolatry. I knew this, but I guess I hadn't really taken the time to think about it. I remember one time I was having a conversation with a girlfriend and I was telling her how I felt so bad that I hadn't been spending any time with the Lord. And she says to me, "ahh girl--just play your Gospel music while you're on the treadmill and that'll do it!" Her statement really struck a chord--reminding me that listening to Gospel music DOES NOT count as spending quality time with the Lord. But what my girlfriend told me, and what I have been regularly doing---even up to yesterday---is no different. I mean, since that conversation a couple years ago, I have grown immensely, but I would have to admit that I've been mis-using "Gospel" music.
Ok, Lord you must be trying to tell me something.
So on yesterday as I was coming home on the bus, this lady sits next to me. I was happy cause one of my favorite Gospel songs had just come up on my iPod. So the lady says, "Hello, how are you?" I speak back, and then she says, "You must have had a good day cause you have such a bright smile on your face." I smile back, nodding to the music. Then she says, "Everybody I speak to seems to be grumpy, but you're smiling you must have had a good day." I keep smiling, but I want to say.....miss, please don't bother me, I'm tired, just got through Monday, I'm hungry--haven't had a meal in 11 days, AND my song is playing and I want to enjoy it!! But I kept on smiling hoping she'd get the hint. Then she says, "Hi, I'm Trudy. What's your name?" Ok, I don't believe this woman--leave me the hell alone!!!, I wanted to scream. Then out of nowhere, I heard the Holy Spirit speak.......TAKE OFF THE EARPLUGS, AND TURN THE IPOD OFF---NOW!! I was obedient and did as instructed. In that short 5 minute ride, I learned that Trudy was a Christian, and she belonged to my church. I felt bad.
When I got off the bus, the Lord spoke again. He told me that for the remaining of the fast I was to listen to NO music. I'm like, HUH???? I mean, music gets me through the day, I tried to explain. It was so plain, He said......."I do it. I get you through your day. Try Me. Try praising Me with just the praise from your lips." Ok..........hmmm.
When I got home, I just started thinking and thinking and thinking. Actually, other than spening time with the Lord, that's about all I've been doing during this fast cause I'm not watching television, surfing the net, or talking on the phone. But I thought about me and my relationship with this thing called--music. I mean, I come from a musically-inclined family. We all have had our talents inspired by music whether in our professional dancing, solo careers, involvment with professional groups and choirs, DJing, and me with having a career in the music business. My life IS music. In fact, my mother was 9 months pregnant and would not leave the recording studio until she perfected her solo part. I think that's why my sister is mega-talented today. But life without music.........wow.
But I got it. I fully understand.
That was the deal with lucifer (satan). He had perfected music so much that it became a form of idolatry, separating him from the Lord. The Bible says that lucifer was a worship leader and that his body played music. Wow!! that's deep. It just makes so much sense. I guess that explains why a lot of Gospel singers and musicians seem to be the worse Christians---ok, maybe that's my personal hypothesis---lolol. But honestly, its the musicians who seem to be caught up in homosexuality, adultry, fornication, and womanizing. At least the ones I've grown up around. But I can't imagine. It must be a struggle to venture so deep into music---especially Gospel music---and lose yourself. I guess it just means that musicians have to be that much more grounded in the Word. Umph! To whom much is given, much is required.
Anyways, today is my first day without music----no iPod this morning, no logging on to Pandora to get me through the day---helping me to tune folk out, and no iPod during my unwinding time home this evening. Tomorrow either. And Thursday either. But I think I'm going to be ok.
I don't even know where to begin. Ok, let me begin here:
On Saturday, while at the camp meeting (see my previous post, Back to Pentecost) I had a conversation with an elderly woman I met. Don't know how the conversation began, nor did I understand where it was going, but I always try to be obedient to whomever the Lord places in my path. I'm fully aware that the Lord could use anybody to get a message across, and when the elderly are speaking---I listen. Anyway, the absolutely beautiful woman says to me in her heavy Puerto Rican dialect, "I don't understand this worship with music thing. In my days back in Puerto Rico we didn't have music and we allowed the Holy Spirit to flow with just the praise from our mouth. NO MUSIC!!!" All I could say was..........you're right.
Then on Sunday evening as I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life (for the second time), I come across the chapter where Rick Warren explains how worship is not about music. He also talks about how if not used for the right intentions, music can become a form of idolatry. I knew this, but I guess I hadn't really taken the time to think about it. I remember one time I was having a conversation with a girlfriend and I was telling her how I felt so bad that I hadn't been spending any time with the Lord. And she says to me, "ahh girl--just play your Gospel music while you're on the treadmill and that'll do it!" Her statement really struck a chord--reminding me that listening to Gospel music DOES NOT count as spending quality time with the Lord. But what my girlfriend told me, and what I have been regularly doing---even up to yesterday---is no different. I mean, since that conversation a couple years ago, I have grown immensely, but I would have to admit that I've been mis-using "Gospel" music.
Ok, Lord you must be trying to tell me something.
So on yesterday as I was coming home on the bus, this lady sits next to me. I was happy cause one of my favorite Gospel songs had just come up on my iPod. So the lady says, "Hello, how are you?" I speak back, and then she says, "You must have had a good day cause you have such a bright smile on your face." I smile back, nodding to the music. Then she says, "Everybody I speak to seems to be grumpy, but you're smiling you must have had a good day." I keep smiling, but I want to say.....miss, please don't bother me, I'm tired, just got through Monday, I'm hungry--haven't had a meal in 11 days, AND my song is playing and I want to enjoy it!! But I kept on smiling hoping she'd get the hint. Then she says, "Hi, I'm Trudy. What's your name?" Ok, I don't believe this woman--leave me the hell alone!!!, I wanted to scream. Then out of nowhere, I heard the Holy Spirit speak.......TAKE OFF THE EARPLUGS, AND TURN THE IPOD OFF---NOW!! I was obedient and did as instructed. In that short 5 minute ride, I learned that Trudy was a Christian, and she belonged to my church. I felt bad.
When I got off the bus, the Lord spoke again. He told me that for the remaining of the fast I was to listen to NO music. I'm like, HUH???? I mean, music gets me through the day, I tried to explain. It was so plain, He said......."I do it. I get you through your day. Try Me. Try praising Me with just the praise from your lips." Ok..........hmmm.
When I got home, I just started thinking and thinking and thinking. Actually, other than spening time with the Lord, that's about all I've been doing during this fast cause I'm not watching television, surfing the net, or talking on the phone. But I thought about me and my relationship with this thing called--music. I mean, I come from a musically-inclined family. We all have had our talents inspired by music whether in our professional dancing, solo careers, involvment with professional groups and choirs, DJing, and me with having a career in the music business. My life IS music. In fact, my mother was 9 months pregnant and would not leave the recording studio until she perfected her solo part. I think that's why my sister is mega-talented today. But life without music.........wow.
But I got it. I fully understand.
That was the deal with lucifer (satan). He had perfected music so much that it became a form of idolatry, separating him from the Lord. The Bible says that lucifer was a worship leader and that his body played music. Wow!! that's deep. It just makes so much sense. I guess that explains why a lot of Gospel singers and musicians seem to be the worse Christians---ok, maybe that's my personal hypothesis---lolol. But honestly, its the musicians who seem to be caught up in homosexuality, adultry, fornication, and womanizing. At least the ones I've grown up around. But I can't imagine. It must be a struggle to venture so deep into music---especially Gospel music---and lose yourself. I guess it just means that musicians have to be that much more grounded in the Word. Umph! To whom much is given, much is required.
Anyways, today is my first day without music----no iPod this morning, no logging on to Pandora to get me through the day---helping me to tune folk out, and no iPod during my unwinding time home this evening. Tomorrow either. And Thursday either. But I think I'm going to be ok.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Back to Pentecost
What an AWESOME weekend!!!
Leave it to my girlfriend, Elizabeth, to plan a trip that ALWAYS bring me back home rejuvenated. Last time we traveled together was last year. On the spur of the moment, Elizabeth said "hey lets hop on a flight and go somewhere for the weekend". Three days later we were in Cancun. We relaxed in the carribbean waters for hours just talking and talking and talking. We had no agenda for our five-day trip and did as we were led to do---eat, sail, spa treatments, shop, and enjoy good conversations between two friends.
So all summer, Elizabeth has been reminding me about Calvary Camp Meeting. Actually, for the last two years she has been inviting me and telling me about her experiences everytime she goes. And everytime she invites me, I have some type of excuse. But this time was a little different. When I talked to her on Wednesday, she said "Jill, I am going to camp meeting this weekend and you should come with me." Without hesitation, I said I'm going! She told me that she was leaving on Thursday because she had a girlfriend coming down from New York. Unfortunately, I had to be at work on Friday, but thought that it may be good to take the two-hour drive alone just so that I could spend some time with the Lord before getting there.
Since the route to Richmond was on the other side of DC, I decided to drive in to work on Friday---meaning that I had to pack on Thursday. And just as I do with any other overnight trip, I threw enough stuff in my bag to last me for a week--or two. I mean, anything could happen and I be needing my stuff---lol.
Ok, so 5:00p hits and I fly down the elevator to the garage cause me and Kay had somewhere to go. Poor baby was so hot when I opened the door. Actually, hot ain't the word. It's scorching these days in the metro area. Anyways, I get on the road and am following the directions precisely: I-95 towards Richmond, then to Exit 92, then to Route 1-south, blah, blah. I'm thinking, man this is C-O-U-N-T-R-Y. I mean, it was so country that all of my senses made a salute. I mean, I could smell the dew, taste the sup from the trees, and hear the crickets. Perfectly. I even turned off the air, opened up the sunroof and stuck my hand out to feel the moist evening. And the sight--absolutely beautiful. The sun was just about settling over wide areas of pasture.
Then I arrived.
Wow, cars were everywhere. And people of all nationalities were enjoying the place. Some eating, some just standing in hurdles talking, and others just pulling in like me. I remembered Elizabeth telling me that if I didn't make it by 7:00p that I would have to register in at 11:00p. Of course I made it at 7:50p--that darn commuter traffic. So I parked, grabbed my purse and Bible, and headed towards the tabernacle as where the 7:30p service was held.
Oh, my goodness!!
I could feel the anointing as I walked toward this huge outside church. I can't really explain it. I mean, unlike a tent revival, this permanenent structure looks like a church but with no walls on the sides and entrance. It's hard to describe. But as I walked towards the building--the tabernacle, I heard the worship leaders singing, and then I saw the congregation so free and dancing all over the tabernacle. Some were waving huge flags in bright colors, and others were praising God in their native languages. Throughout my stay I had counted about 30 different own nationalities. Oh, I learned how to scream...The King is Coming...in Ethiopian. Anyway, I took my seat in the middle section towards the back. I looked around and didn't see Elizabeth. But at this point, it didn't matter because I knew the Lord had me where He wanted me. But about 2 hours into the service Elizabeth had snuck up behind me and sat directly in back of me. When I turned around she was soooo glad that I showed up.
I love Elizabeth. She is such a beautiful girl inside and outside. A true Dominican, she could be one that is really caught up in her beauty, but she's not. She's as genuine as they come and she is completely SOLD OUT for the Lord. I know the Lord has us in each other's lives for a reason.
Anyway, then the Word came. The message was about healing. And although I don't have an illness other than those stupid sinues, it was good to be reminded that the Lord takes no pleasure in sickness and that He does not test His children with sickness and disease. If so, then the scripure that says......with His stripes we were healed would be a lie. And so hearing that Word was refreshing.
At about 11:30p, me and Elizabeth went to register me in. I couldn't believe it. FREE lodging and meals!!! Wow. The clerk asked, do you need linen or did you bring your own. I had brought my own according to Elizabeth's instructions. After registering, we got my things out of the car and stopped in the snack bar to grab a snack. Since I'm still fasting, I grabbed some melon and a grape juice to take up to the barrack. Ok, I ain't used to barracks. Let me just say that. If I had my choice, I would be checking into the local Marriott. But this trip ain't about me, I had drilled in my head.
So we get to our room and there's 5 twin beds. Elizabeth's girlfriend from New York had brung her mom and another girlfriend from her church. They were knocked out by the time we got there. As soon as we entered I said--THANK YOU JESUS!!! We had air condition. I was all prepared for my sinuses to be off balance with the heat in the country. But we had AIR CONDITION. And if I had to sleep in my jeans, and all of the shirts I brought to stay warm I would just for that cool air. We were blessed to get an actual room, because I'm told that the other buildings are huge rooms with an open space filled with twin beds. The only air was the outdoors and fans strategically placed. I was prepared. But because Elizabeth's friend's mom is elderly, they gave us a room. Thank God for the elderly.
After getting situated, I was of course the last one in the bed. My thoughts started to present themselves. The barrack's are old. The place was established in 1954, so you can imagine. I first thought about a snake or at least mice climbing up on my bed, but then the peace of God came over me and I curled up into a ball under my bright hot pink comforter and slept like a baby. Then I woke up cause I had to use the bathroom. That darn watermelon!! Shucks, how am I going to make it all the way down the hall to the bathroom, I thought. I don't even know where it is. It sure wasn't in the room! But I got myself up and walked down the dark hall. When I got there, there was a young lady in the mirror doing her hair while singing a praise song. And so I asked her what time it was. She told me it was five after five. As I walked back to the room, I just felt the peace of God so heavily.
At 6:45a sharp, this loud bell rang throughout the camp letting us know it was time to get up. Breakfast was being served at 7am, but because I wasn't having breakfast I stayed in the bed a few extra minutes. When I got up, I walked back down the hall to take my shower. Wow, had to be one of the best showers I had. The water was so forceful and I did't even want to get out. When I did, I grabbed my things and made it back down to the room. As I was getting dress, it just felt so good to not worry about make-up or any other thing that puts on that usual superficial image. In fact, I took my brush and pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, threw on a pair of capris and a tee-shirt, and called it a day. I felt so free.
At about 7:45a, I walked out of the barrack and truly knew what it meant to say, Good Morning Holy Spirit!!! The air was soooo refreshing. And the sky was such a beautiful blue. As I walked toward the tabernacle, I could hear people crying out on the altar. I thought to myself....Jill, do your thing. And so I joined them. We all just layed before God on the altar and worshipped as the Lord led. Some were walking around on the outside worshipping, and others on their knees at their seats. But we were all there for one reason.....to glorify God. I so miss this, I kept thinking. I was raised Pentecostal. We would have prayer and worship services all night long. Sometimes we wouldn't leave until everybody in the place received the Holy Spirit. The Holy Ghost as we called it. And we weren't limited to just raising our hands. If we wanted to run, shout, jump, holla.....we were free to do it. I love the freedom of praising God without people thinking you were crazy. But the thing that was always missing for me was understanding God's word. And so for the last 15 or so years, I've been in ministries that focuses soley on the Word. As some may call it--intellectual faith. I wouldn't trade my knowledge of the Word for a denomination. But at that moment, I missed being a Pentecostal and I cried out like I had been reunited with my first love. And I soaked in every bit of it.
Then a prophecy came. It said:
There is someone walking through the desert right now and is so tired and thirsty. But the Lord said that He is in front of you and to keep walking because you are about to come to a brook.
I knew the prophecy was for me. In fact, it was the same prophecy I had received from a stranger last Saturday. And so I started crying uncontrollably. And then the Lord revealed to me that I had made it thus far through the desert because of the overflow inside of me. He said that rivers have been flowing in me and keeping me alive. See my blog entry back in May called Waterfalls. I was no good. At that point, I knew that I had received my breakthrough.
At 10:00a, there was a dynamic teaching on Releasing Soul Ties. It was soo good to hear. And at 11:00a, there was another worship service from a missionary that asked that we not mention his name on our blogs and websites only because in Nepal, where he's evangelizing its a major crime to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ or to be a Christian. I understood. But will say that I walked away from that service fully understanding that being a Christian is truly not about what we can get from God, its about GIVING. Lots of the people at the camp meeting are evangelists and missionaries who come to to be refueled before going on their next mission. And many are up against a lot. Wow, I thought. How selfish of me to keep asking God for stuff when the world needs to know you. I got work to do.
After the 11:00a service, it was time to leave. As I walked to my car, I was so amazed to see teenagers hurdled up in groups talking about the goodness of Jesus. Then there were a few sitting at picnic tables reading their Bibles. Some told me that they have been coming every year for many years. One lady told me that she basically raised her boys there who were now 13 and 14 years old. What a AWESOME place, I kept thinking. I knew I would be going back.
Leave it to my girlfriend, Elizabeth, to plan a trip that ALWAYS bring me back home rejuvenated. Last time we traveled together was last year. On the spur of the moment, Elizabeth said "hey lets hop on a flight and go somewhere for the weekend". Three days later we were in Cancun. We relaxed in the carribbean waters for hours just talking and talking and talking. We had no agenda for our five-day trip and did as we were led to do---eat, sail, spa treatments, shop, and enjoy good conversations between two friends.
So all summer, Elizabeth has been reminding me about Calvary Camp Meeting. Actually, for the last two years she has been inviting me and telling me about her experiences everytime she goes. And everytime she invites me, I have some type of excuse. But this time was a little different. When I talked to her on Wednesday, she said "Jill, I am going to camp meeting this weekend and you should come with me." Without hesitation, I said I'm going! She told me that she was leaving on Thursday because she had a girlfriend coming down from New York. Unfortunately, I had to be at work on Friday, but thought that it may be good to take the two-hour drive alone just so that I could spend some time with the Lord before getting there.
Since the route to Richmond was on the other side of DC, I decided to drive in to work on Friday---meaning that I had to pack on Thursday. And just as I do with any other overnight trip, I threw enough stuff in my bag to last me for a week--or two. I mean, anything could happen and I be needing my stuff---lol.
Ok, so 5:00p hits and I fly down the elevator to the garage cause me and Kay had somewhere to go. Poor baby was so hot when I opened the door. Actually, hot ain't the word. It's scorching these days in the metro area. Anyways, I get on the road and am following the directions precisely: I-95 towards Richmond, then to Exit 92, then to Route 1-south, blah, blah. I'm thinking, man this is C-O-U-N-T-R-Y. I mean, it was so country that all of my senses made a salute. I mean, I could smell the dew, taste the sup from the trees, and hear the crickets. Perfectly. I even turned off the air, opened up the sunroof and stuck my hand out to feel the moist evening. And the sight--absolutely beautiful. The sun was just about settling over wide areas of pasture.
Then I arrived.
Wow, cars were everywhere. And people of all nationalities were enjoying the place. Some eating, some just standing in hurdles talking, and others just pulling in like me. I remembered Elizabeth telling me that if I didn't make it by 7:00p that I would have to register in at 11:00p. Of course I made it at 7:50p--that darn commuter traffic. So I parked, grabbed my purse and Bible, and headed towards the tabernacle as where the 7:30p service was held.
Oh, my goodness!!
I could feel the anointing as I walked toward this huge outside church. I can't really explain it. I mean, unlike a tent revival, this permanenent structure looks like a church but with no walls on the sides and entrance. It's hard to describe. But as I walked towards the building--the tabernacle, I heard the worship leaders singing, and then I saw the congregation so free and dancing all over the tabernacle. Some were waving huge flags in bright colors, and others were praising God in their native languages. Throughout my stay I had counted about 30 different own nationalities. Oh, I learned how to scream...The King is Coming...in Ethiopian. Anyway, I took my seat in the middle section towards the back. I looked around and didn't see Elizabeth. But at this point, it didn't matter because I knew the Lord had me where He wanted me. But about 2 hours into the service Elizabeth had snuck up behind me and sat directly in back of me. When I turned around she was soooo glad that I showed up.
I love Elizabeth. She is such a beautiful girl inside and outside. A true Dominican, she could be one that is really caught up in her beauty, but she's not. She's as genuine as they come and she is completely SOLD OUT for the Lord. I know the Lord has us in each other's lives for a reason.
Anyway, then the Word came. The message was about healing. And although I don't have an illness other than those stupid sinues, it was good to be reminded that the Lord takes no pleasure in sickness and that He does not test His children with sickness and disease. If so, then the scripure that says......with His stripes we were healed would be a lie. And so hearing that Word was refreshing.
At about 11:30p, me and Elizabeth went to register me in. I couldn't believe it. FREE lodging and meals!!! Wow. The clerk asked, do you need linen or did you bring your own. I had brought my own according to Elizabeth's instructions. After registering, we got my things out of the car and stopped in the snack bar to grab a snack. Since I'm still fasting, I grabbed some melon and a grape juice to take up to the barrack. Ok, I ain't used to barracks. Let me just say that. If I had my choice, I would be checking into the local Marriott. But this trip ain't about me, I had drilled in my head.
So we get to our room and there's 5 twin beds. Elizabeth's girlfriend from New York had brung her mom and another girlfriend from her church. They were knocked out by the time we got there. As soon as we entered I said--THANK YOU JESUS!!! We had air condition. I was all prepared for my sinuses to be off balance with the heat in the country. But we had AIR CONDITION. And if I had to sleep in my jeans, and all of the shirts I brought to stay warm I would just for that cool air. We were blessed to get an actual room, because I'm told that the other buildings are huge rooms with an open space filled with twin beds. The only air was the outdoors and fans strategically placed. I was prepared. But because Elizabeth's friend's mom is elderly, they gave us a room. Thank God for the elderly.
After getting situated, I was of course the last one in the bed. My thoughts started to present themselves. The barrack's are old. The place was established in 1954, so you can imagine. I first thought about a snake or at least mice climbing up on my bed, but then the peace of God came over me and I curled up into a ball under my bright hot pink comforter and slept like a baby. Then I woke up cause I had to use the bathroom. That darn watermelon!! Shucks, how am I going to make it all the way down the hall to the bathroom, I thought. I don't even know where it is. It sure wasn't in the room! But I got myself up and walked down the dark hall. When I got there, there was a young lady in the mirror doing her hair while singing a praise song. And so I asked her what time it was. She told me it was five after five. As I walked back to the room, I just felt the peace of God so heavily.
At 6:45a sharp, this loud bell rang throughout the camp letting us know it was time to get up. Breakfast was being served at 7am, but because I wasn't having breakfast I stayed in the bed a few extra minutes. When I got up, I walked back down the hall to take my shower. Wow, had to be one of the best showers I had. The water was so forceful and I did't even want to get out. When I did, I grabbed my things and made it back down to the room. As I was getting dress, it just felt so good to not worry about make-up or any other thing that puts on that usual superficial image. In fact, I took my brush and pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, threw on a pair of capris and a tee-shirt, and called it a day. I felt so free.
At about 7:45a, I walked out of the barrack and truly knew what it meant to say, Good Morning Holy Spirit!!! The air was soooo refreshing. And the sky was such a beautiful blue. As I walked toward the tabernacle, I could hear people crying out on the altar. I thought to myself....Jill, do your thing. And so I joined them. We all just layed before God on the altar and worshipped as the Lord led. Some were walking around on the outside worshipping, and others on their knees at their seats. But we were all there for one reason.....to glorify God. I so miss this, I kept thinking. I was raised Pentecostal. We would have prayer and worship services all night long. Sometimes we wouldn't leave until everybody in the place received the Holy Spirit. The Holy Ghost as we called it. And we weren't limited to just raising our hands. If we wanted to run, shout, jump, holla.....we were free to do it. I love the freedom of praising God without people thinking you were crazy. But the thing that was always missing for me was understanding God's word. And so for the last 15 or so years, I've been in ministries that focuses soley on the Word. As some may call it--intellectual faith. I wouldn't trade my knowledge of the Word for a denomination. But at that moment, I missed being a Pentecostal and I cried out like I had been reunited with my first love. And I soaked in every bit of it.
Then a prophecy came. It said:
There is someone walking through the desert right now and is so tired and thirsty. But the Lord said that He is in front of you and to keep walking because you are about to come to a brook.
I knew the prophecy was for me. In fact, it was the same prophecy I had received from a stranger last Saturday. And so I started crying uncontrollably. And then the Lord revealed to me that I had made it thus far through the desert because of the overflow inside of me. He said that rivers have been flowing in me and keeping me alive. See my blog entry back in May called Waterfalls. I was no good. At that point, I knew that I had received my breakthrough.
At 10:00a, there was a dynamic teaching on Releasing Soul Ties. It was soo good to hear. And at 11:00a, there was another worship service from a missionary that asked that we not mention his name on our blogs and websites only because in Nepal, where he's evangelizing its a major crime to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ or to be a Christian. I understood. But will say that I walked away from that service fully understanding that being a Christian is truly not about what we can get from God, its about GIVING. Lots of the people at the camp meeting are evangelists and missionaries who come to to be refueled before going on their next mission. And many are up against a lot. Wow, I thought. How selfish of me to keep asking God for stuff when the world needs to know you. I got work to do.
After the 11:00a service, it was time to leave. As I walked to my car, I was so amazed to see teenagers hurdled up in groups talking about the goodness of Jesus. Then there were a few sitting at picnic tables reading their Bibles. Some told me that they have been coming every year for many years. One lady told me that she basically raised her boys there who were now 13 and 14 years old. What a AWESOME place, I kept thinking. I knew I would be going back.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Good Times
I had an interesting evening last night. Yesterday, I received an email from Diane, my settlement attorney, inviting me to meet and mingle with BerNadette Stanis (Thelma from the 70's hit sitcome, Good Times) at her office at 9:00p. Why so late???, I thought. But as soon as I could ponder about the time I had Diane on the phone talking about other business. After our usual Hud-1/title talk, Diane had informed me that BerNadette, who is a friend of hers, was in town with her family attending the AKA convention. Don't know if BerNadette is AKA, but her husband was wearing an Alpha tee-shirt. That goes without saying. Anyway, Diane has created a faith-based organization that represents talented and gifted kids in the arts. And so since BerNadette and her family was visiting, she thought it would be good to have her meet with some of the children to give advice on the entertainment industry.
Sooooo Diane invited me as well. Nice gesture, but I immediately thought.......think she'd be interested in purchasing a home ANYWHERE in the metropolitan area??? I mean, at this point I'd be willing to book a room in Aberdeen if I thought I could sell a house there. But Thelma buying a house here---DOUBT IT. So I went anyway, cause Diane and her husband are the best, and I'd support just about anything they do. I did think about my 14-day fast and thought if it would be a hindrance, but I made up in my mind that I'm going to take advantage of every door the Lord opens and trust Him to have His will and see me through.
After arriving at about 9:15p, BerNadette was doing an interview for an XM station and so we waited around until she finished. I'm really used to this after working as a publicist in the entertainment industry for several years. First priority---smoozing the MEDIA. Ugh!! There were a handful of adults, but much more children. All of the children, clients of the organization, were VERY articulate and focused on their talents. They were all toting their portfolios, in corners practicing their acting, and/or bragging about their call-back trips to Hollywood. Very impressing. I felt like I was looking at future celebrities.
After the interview, Diane arranged for BerNadette to setup in the conference room, along with her stuff---books and photo equipment for those who wanted pictures or wanted autographed copies of her book. After everyone had a chance to have one-on-one time with "Thelma", she came out in the waiting area and had open discussion about everything from her daily schedule on the Good Times set to her relationship with Janet Jackson to the correct lyrics of the Good Times theme song. She was very personable, down to earth, and so were her two daughters.
Ok, you know I always find a blessing in something. So here goes:
BerNadette told us how she stumbled into her role as Thelma. Originally from New York, she said that as a teen she had been doing some modeling. She had found out about a local pageant and told her mother she wanted to enter. So her mother allowed her to enter, but after working all summer with the pageant---much more work than she anticipated---she lost interest. In fact, she had lost so much interest that days before the pageant she quit. She said she dreaded going to the rehearsals. Well, her mother wasn't having it. The day of the pageant, BerNadette's mother traveled with all of her kids, BerNadette being the eldest, on the train to see her daughter compete. BerNadette said when they were almost there, she faked an asthma attack hoping that her mother would turn them around. We all laughed when she said that her mother made a quick detour to the drugstore and bought her a bottle of Primatene Mist. And so they continued their pursuit.
Ok, BerNadette ended up becoming runner-up in the pageant. But here comes the big blessing. When they were leaving, a talent agent stopped her and told her that there was going to be a new Black sitcom coming out and the only role they hadn't filled was that of the teen daughter. He told BerNadette that she would be perfect for the role. So after many New York meetings, CBS flew her out to Hollywood. The auditions were down to four girls---BerNadette being one of them. She said that they were supposed to just stay out in California for two weeks, but it turned out much longer. They had actually felt like the part just wasn't for her. But the day they were leaving to go back to New York, she was actually at the airport and received a page over the loudspeaker for her to call CBS. And so it goes without saying........she became THELMA. The beautiful and innocent girl-next-door that so many of us grew to love and admire.
And so yesterday, I had written about OBSTACLES and how just when you reach the point where you don't feel like doing....whatever the mission that presents itself.....that's when blessings can be missed. And so BerNadette's story was really a confirmation of what the Lord has been telling me. And I listened intently, and received again what thus says the Lord. I'm a firm believer that He will use ANYBODY and ANYTHING to get His message across.
I've met MANY MANY "celebrities" over the years, but this one came with a special message.
Sooooo Diane invited me as well. Nice gesture, but I immediately thought.......think she'd be interested in purchasing a home ANYWHERE in the metropolitan area??? I mean, at this point I'd be willing to book a room in Aberdeen if I thought I could sell a house there. But Thelma buying a house here---DOUBT IT. So I went anyway, cause Diane and her husband are the best, and I'd support just about anything they do. I did think about my 14-day fast and thought if it would be a hindrance, but I made up in my mind that I'm going to take advantage of every door the Lord opens and trust Him to have His will and see me through.
After arriving at about 9:15p, BerNadette was doing an interview for an XM station and so we waited around until she finished. I'm really used to this after working as a publicist in the entertainment industry for several years. First priority---smoozing the MEDIA. Ugh!! There were a handful of adults, but much more children. All of the children, clients of the organization, were VERY articulate and focused on their talents. They were all toting their portfolios, in corners practicing their acting, and/or bragging about their call-back trips to Hollywood. Very impressing. I felt like I was looking at future celebrities.
After the interview, Diane arranged for BerNadette to setup in the conference room, along with her stuff---books and photo equipment for those who wanted pictures or wanted autographed copies of her book. After everyone had a chance to have one-on-one time with "Thelma", she came out in the waiting area and had open discussion about everything from her daily schedule on the Good Times set to her relationship with Janet Jackson to the correct lyrics of the Good Times theme song. She was very personable, down to earth, and so were her two daughters.
Ok, you know I always find a blessing in something. So here goes:
BerNadette told us how she stumbled into her role as Thelma. Originally from New York, she said that as a teen she had been doing some modeling. She had found out about a local pageant and told her mother she wanted to enter. So her mother allowed her to enter, but after working all summer with the pageant---much more work than she anticipated---she lost interest. In fact, she had lost so much interest that days before the pageant she quit. She said she dreaded going to the rehearsals. Well, her mother wasn't having it. The day of the pageant, BerNadette's mother traveled with all of her kids, BerNadette being the eldest, on the train to see her daughter compete. BerNadette said when they were almost there, she faked an asthma attack hoping that her mother would turn them around. We all laughed when she said that her mother made a quick detour to the drugstore and bought her a bottle of Primatene Mist. And so they continued their pursuit.
Ok, BerNadette ended up becoming runner-up in the pageant. But here comes the big blessing. When they were leaving, a talent agent stopped her and told her that there was going to be a new Black sitcom coming out and the only role they hadn't filled was that of the teen daughter. He told BerNadette that she would be perfect for the role. So after many New York meetings, CBS flew her out to Hollywood. The auditions were down to four girls---BerNadette being one of them. She said that they were supposed to just stay out in California for two weeks, but it turned out much longer. They had actually felt like the part just wasn't for her. But the day they were leaving to go back to New York, she was actually at the airport and received a page over the loudspeaker for her to call CBS. And so it goes without saying........she became THELMA. The beautiful and innocent girl-next-door that so many of us grew to love and admire.
And so yesterday, I had written about OBSTACLES and how just when you reach the point where you don't feel like doing....whatever the mission that presents itself.....that's when blessings can be missed. And so BerNadette's story was really a confirmation of what the Lord has been telling me. And I listened intently, and received again what thus says the Lord. I'm a firm believer that He will use ANYBODY and ANYTHING to get His message across.
I've met MANY MANY "celebrities" over the years, but this one came with a special message.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Obstacles
The Lord is so so amazing. And He's doing AWESOME things in my life during this 14-day Spiritual journey. It never fails...... Just when I'm trying to seek His face, He keeps on giving-giving-giving to me. I keep telling Him, Lord I want more of Your FACE. But hey, what can I say.........He's God.
So last night I had my LifeGroup meeting. It's a group of singles who are all members from my church. The group meets twice a month to have an intimate time of fellowship amongst believers. And last night, I decided to go. When I got off the bus my intentions were to jump in the car and head over to the 7:00p meeting. But of course I had an urge to stop in the house---perhaps to use the bathroom and drop off the mail. So I made a quick dash up the stairs, threw my tote bag down to make the transfer to a purse that I quickly grabbed out of the closet. I was rushing cause it was almost 7:00p and I hate being late, especially for a meeting that I rarely attend. I had forgotton all about the bathroom, but thought I should go instead of holding it for the 15 minute ride.
As I was walking out of the door, I SAW IT!!! Not again, I thought. It was a note from my neighbor downstairs. It read:
Hi Jill,
It's Jessica, your neighbor downstairs. I don't know if you've been having any trouble with your toilet, but there is a blue liquid leaking from the ceiling through the air vent/heat lamp into my bathroom. I let the [condo] office know, and they said you would need to hire a plumber to fix the leak. Right now, there doesn't seem to be any damage to the ceiling or heat lamp fixture, so hopefully it can be fixed before any occurs. I will be home around 7:00p tonight if you want to see the leak, or you can reach me on my cell at............Thanks, Jessica.
I wanted to scream!! The last time I heard from her was when my air conditioner leaked down to her utility room. Before then was when I first moved in and the hose under my kitchen sink burst and leaked down to her unit. Other than that....I NEVER see her. In fact, I think her parents bought her that condo while she's in school. So seeing the note from her surprised me.
So I go to my meeting a little "upset". You're defeated devil, not on my fast.....I thought. I had to make that clear cause my first reaction was to ignore the note and act like I didn't get it. And then I thought about calling her and letting her know that I don't do scratchy notes on small pieces of paper and if she wants to reach me then she should do so by phone or in-person. But when I went to my meeting I felt better.
We discussed many things at the meeting. But one in particular was about obstacles. One of the members talked about how sometimes we get so caught up in destiny that when obstacles come we don't know how to handle them. Or better yet, don't want to handle them. But as he explained, the obstacles are what actually developes character and are actually what holds the blessings.
So this morning I got up with new grace, new perspective, and decided to call Jessica. It was actually a pleasant conversation. She told me that she's getting married next month and will be leaving to go out of town this Thursday. She informed me that she will be back here the last week of August for a few days and will settle in New Hampshire with her new hubby.
Hmmmm, thank you Lord, I thought. Cause I have a little time to fix the leak.
So last night I had my LifeGroup meeting. It's a group of singles who are all members from my church. The group meets twice a month to have an intimate time of fellowship amongst believers. And last night, I decided to go. When I got off the bus my intentions were to jump in the car and head over to the 7:00p meeting. But of course I had an urge to stop in the house---perhaps to use the bathroom and drop off the mail. So I made a quick dash up the stairs, threw my tote bag down to make the transfer to a purse that I quickly grabbed out of the closet. I was rushing cause it was almost 7:00p and I hate being late, especially for a meeting that I rarely attend. I had forgotton all about the bathroom, but thought I should go instead of holding it for the 15 minute ride.
As I was walking out of the door, I SAW IT!!! Not again, I thought. It was a note from my neighbor downstairs. It read:
Hi Jill,
It's Jessica, your neighbor downstairs. I don't know if you've been having any trouble with your toilet, but there is a blue liquid leaking from the ceiling through the air vent/heat lamp into my bathroom. I let the [condo] office know, and they said you would need to hire a plumber to fix the leak. Right now, there doesn't seem to be any damage to the ceiling or heat lamp fixture, so hopefully it can be fixed before any occurs. I will be home around 7:00p tonight if you want to see the leak, or you can reach me on my cell at............Thanks, Jessica.
I wanted to scream!! The last time I heard from her was when my air conditioner leaked down to her utility room. Before then was when I first moved in and the hose under my kitchen sink burst and leaked down to her unit. Other than that....I NEVER see her. In fact, I think her parents bought her that condo while she's in school. So seeing the note from her surprised me.
So I go to my meeting a little "upset". You're defeated devil, not on my fast.....I thought. I had to make that clear cause my first reaction was to ignore the note and act like I didn't get it. And then I thought about calling her and letting her know that I don't do scratchy notes on small pieces of paper and if she wants to reach me then she should do so by phone or in-person. But when I went to my meeting I felt better.
We discussed many things at the meeting. But one in particular was about obstacles. One of the members talked about how sometimes we get so caught up in destiny that when obstacles come we don't know how to handle them. Or better yet, don't want to handle them. But as he explained, the obstacles are what actually developes character and are actually what holds the blessings.
So this morning I got up with new grace, new perspective, and decided to call Jessica. It was actually a pleasant conversation. She told me that she's getting married next month and will be leaving to go out of town this Thursday. She informed me that she will be back here the last week of August for a few days and will settle in New Hampshire with her new hubby.
Hmmmm, thank you Lord, I thought. Cause I have a little time to fix the leak.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Day 4
Can I just say that God is an AWESOME God!!! Everytime I fast I get a revelation, rejuvenation, and breakthrough.
I'm on Day 4 of my fast, and feel like my mind is going in such a different direction these days. Things I used to ponder are really irrelevant. And things that used to "worry" me, no longer do. I know its the power of the Lord redirecting me. I asked for Him to have His way and He is having it---as always.
On Saturday, I kept a business meeting that I'd usually pass on during these fasting times, but just as I know my steps are ordered by the Lord, the Lord had His way. The person I met with is on fire for the Lord and gave me a prophecy that confirms the very things I had decided to fast about. Umph!!! It's funny because we spent every bit of ten minutes on what the meeting's intention was, and the remaining 5+ hours on the Lord's work.
My physical strength is at an all time high considering the fact that I've been maintaining on fruits and veggies. My mental strength is high as my thoughts are on the Lord. And my Spirit......well you know that's dancing these days.
The Lord is so so so so good and I can't wait to get home to be alone in His presence.
I'm on Day 4 of my fast, and feel like my mind is going in such a different direction these days. Things I used to ponder are really irrelevant. And things that used to "worry" me, no longer do. I know its the power of the Lord redirecting me. I asked for Him to have His way and He is having it---as always.
On Saturday, I kept a business meeting that I'd usually pass on during these fasting times, but just as I know my steps are ordered by the Lord, the Lord had His way. The person I met with is on fire for the Lord and gave me a prophecy that confirms the very things I had decided to fast about. Umph!!! It's funny because we spent every bit of ten minutes on what the meeting's intention was, and the remaining 5+ hours on the Lord's work.
My physical strength is at an all time high considering the fact that I've been maintaining on fruits and veggies. My mental strength is high as my thoughts are on the Lord. And my Spirit......well you know that's dancing these days.
The Lord is so so so so good and I can't wait to get home to be alone in His presence.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Mental Poverty
Ok, I'm sitting at my desk and get an email about the upcoming CNN special, Black in America with Soledad O'Brien. And so I'm watching the various video trailers and come across the story of Barbara Hillary who is the first and only Black woman to reach the North Pole. And get this....she did it at age 75!! Hearing Ms. Hillary speak about her journey was amazing. As I was listening, I thought......wow, what an accomplishment!! But what really spoke to me was hearing her say that she has always been more than a conquerer because she has never been a victim of mental poverty. Hmmmm........
Mental poverty. Mental poverty. Wow, mental poverty.
Mental poverty. Mental poverty. Wow, mental poverty.
Ok, I'd like to think that I'm one of those single Black females who is holding it together---mind, body, and soul. I mean......my soul is always seeking to go higher in Christ. And my body.......well, I try to stay in the gym and on a healthy diet but have to admit it is a lifelong challenge. Aside from keeping my finger pointed firmly in obesity's face, I AM healthy. And my mind.....I'd like to think that I'm quite intelligent--lol. At least according to my student loans it looks that way. All jokes aside....I luuuv knowledge. And I luuuv learning. I am one of those people who can be a lifetime student.
After hearing Barbara Hillary, I had to stop and think...... The mind is so much more than acquiring and retaining and releasing information. The mind is a state of being on this earth. The mind can determine success or failure. Ok, ok I know some Christians beg to differ because if you were brought up like me then you were taught that the mind is the devil's playground---and no Christian should be "playing" with the devil! A lot of us are programmed to avoid deep thinking. And so we've grown to avoid making sound decisions and processing thoughts cause we don't have control over it. In fact, we've given a lot of control over to our pastors and leaders---ouch! In reality, we can't run from our mind or our mental capacity. It is 1/3 part of who we are and we have full rights to it (that is---under the Lord's authority if we're true Christians).
A defeating mind can destroy a person. Just as I'm typing, I'm thinking about the many people I've come across who are mentally in poverty. I mean.....I think about the celebrities who are beautiful, rich, some being multi-award winners...........but depressed. And then I think about a lot of us Christians who come across so powerful in the pulpit, drive away in luxury vehicles, go home to mcmansions.......and are unhappy.
Mental poverty is real. And it is a huge unspoken, missing link in being whole and fulfilling God's purpose. I mean, there are lots of time and money invested in upholding this "form of Godliness" outward image. And Christian leaders all over the world are talking about gaining financial prosperity. But what are we as Christian's really feeling? and thinking? I mean, after flaunting through our daily travels as if we are above everyone else......what really happens when we go home?????? Are we truly happy? Do we really think that we're pleasing God, living in His will, and feeling like we're fulfilling His purpose? If we are, then the Word of God says that we should be in a place of contentment. Are we content?????
I'd be the first to admit that lots of times I go home questioning my circumstances. Trying to gain some understanding and solution. I'm not afraid of my mind. And I'm definitely not afraid of thinking. God gives us the free-will to choose in any given situation. Choosing takes thought. And some decisions have to be made consciously. Some situations you just have to confront and face.
Like fear!!
I heard Barbara Hillary say that people told her that because she had lung cancer (she's now a cancer survivor!) that the climate at the north pole would probably be detrimental to her health. I'm sure she thought about it, and she could have been defeated by it. But she didn't accept it and went about her journey.
When I think about mental poverty the words that come to me are defeat, doubt, insecurity, fear, and low self-esteem. Too many of us Christians are living in this and feeling stuck, crying for change. And this is NOT how Christians should be living.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. --Philippians 4:6-8Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Vacation Time
I'm going on vacation. Thursday. And I can't wait. Ok, not a physical vacation, but a vacation for the soul.
So my mind and thoughts and heart and every other part of me have been racing for the last couple of weeks. For different reasons. Not one in particular, but for different reasons. Over the weekend I almost felt like I was having an anxiety attack. No, no, no......can't have that.
When I get like this the best thing for me to do is take a step back so that I can hear from the Lord---over an extended period of time. Soooooo, starting this Thursday I will be going on my annual Spiritual fast usually anywhere from 10-40 days.
I love fasting because its the only time when I disconnect completely (ok its nearly impossible to disconnect completely unless you're dead), that is I don't do secular television, radio, or any secular reading. I don't read mail, but I do pay my bills. Converstion is limited to must-talk only. I definitely don't surf the internet, but I will blog if I'm lead to. My usual guilty pleasures will be cut completely out during this time---shopping and socializing. And of course eating will be limited to fruits and veggies (and nuts--gotta have a little protein). After work, my days, evenings, and weekends are focused on prayer, meditation, and reading my Word.
I've been fasting for years and every time I do it I get a breakthrough. I'll never forget years ago I was on a 14-day fast and I had applied for an apartment. I paid the application fee, as well as the security deposit and was waiting for an answer. At the time I was a struggling student in undergrad, but it was time for me to leave the nest and seek a place where I could study (and be an "adult") in peace. I was so ready to move out. Really I was.
Well, I got a dreadful phone call saying that due to lack of rental history my application was denied. This wasn't the first time I had heard this. I had been trying for years to move and kept getting the same answer. The resident manager informed me that I should pick up my security deposit as soon as possible. I was crushed!!! I kept making myself think that maybe the Lord didn't want me to move at that moment. But I thought I was sooo ready. At least I felt that way. From that situation I've always developed a mindset that the Lord opens doors as well as closes doors. Well, although I believe the Lord does closes doors....not in this situation.
When I got to the leasing office, it was a madhouse. Seems like everybody was either moving in or moving out making the staff crazy. But I waited patiently cause I was just there to pick up my certified funds. When the resident manager got to me, she asked very tiredly...."Ms. Morris, are you moving in today or tomorrow." I said, no my application was denied due to lack of rental history. She flipped the pages and looked through my application again, and she said with a whatever response "do you want to move in today or tomorrow". I didn't argue with the manager and.......I moved in the very next day!!!!
Impossible situations like this ALWAYS happen when I fast. Doors open and breakthrough come in leaps and bounds. And so I'm ready this year. Last year......oh last year. What a wonderful blessing. This year I'm expecting the impossible again. I'll keep my readers in prayer!!
So my mind and thoughts and heart and every other part of me have been racing for the last couple of weeks. For different reasons. Not one in particular, but for different reasons. Over the weekend I almost felt like I was having an anxiety attack. No, no, no......can't have that.
When I get like this the best thing for me to do is take a step back so that I can hear from the Lord---over an extended period of time. Soooooo, starting this Thursday I will be going on my annual Spiritual fast usually anywhere from 10-40 days.
I love fasting because its the only time when I disconnect completely (ok its nearly impossible to disconnect completely unless you're dead), that is I don't do secular television, radio, or any secular reading. I don't read mail, but I do pay my bills. Converstion is limited to must-talk only. I definitely don't surf the internet, but I will blog if I'm lead to. My usual guilty pleasures will be cut completely out during this time---shopping and socializing. And of course eating will be limited to fruits and veggies (and nuts--gotta have a little protein). After work, my days, evenings, and weekends are focused on prayer, meditation, and reading my Word.
I've been fasting for years and every time I do it I get a breakthrough. I'll never forget years ago I was on a 14-day fast and I had applied for an apartment. I paid the application fee, as well as the security deposit and was waiting for an answer. At the time I was a struggling student in undergrad, but it was time for me to leave the nest and seek a place where I could study (and be an "adult") in peace. I was so ready to move out. Really I was.
Well, I got a dreadful phone call saying that due to lack of rental history my application was denied. This wasn't the first time I had heard this. I had been trying for years to move and kept getting the same answer. The resident manager informed me that I should pick up my security deposit as soon as possible. I was crushed!!! I kept making myself think that maybe the Lord didn't want me to move at that moment. But I thought I was sooo ready. At least I felt that way. From that situation I've always developed a mindset that the Lord opens doors as well as closes doors. Well, although I believe the Lord does closes doors....not in this situation.
When I got to the leasing office, it was a madhouse. Seems like everybody was either moving in or moving out making the staff crazy. But I waited patiently cause I was just there to pick up my certified funds. When the resident manager got to me, she asked very tiredly...."Ms. Morris, are you moving in today or tomorrow." I said, no my application was denied due to lack of rental history. She flipped the pages and looked through my application again, and she said with a whatever response "do you want to move in today or tomorrow". I didn't argue with the manager and.......I moved in the very next day!!!!
Impossible situations like this ALWAYS happen when I fast. Doors open and breakthrough come in leaps and bounds. And so I'm ready this year. Last year......oh last year. What a wonderful blessing. This year I'm expecting the impossible again. I'll keep my readers in prayer!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
It's All in the Serve
Guess What????? I watched sports this weekend!!! Yes, yes, I'm a little proud of myself.
Ok, do you consider watching Venus and Serena doing their thing sports??? Well, that's probably the only game that will have my complete undivided attention and interest. Can I just say that those girls are baaaad. But how do you make it all the way to the top just to play your own sister?? I like what Venus said, "I'm big sister first and I play that role well". In fact, she said that when it was determined that she and Serena had won all of their rounds and would be competing for the title against each other their father went home and said that his work was done.
But I listened to both interviews from Serena and Venus. And they both said something so profound. IT WAS ALL IN THE SERVE!!! Serena said that Venus perfected her serve and she just could not match it. Venus said that she knew she was playing against a real hardcore pro and that the only way she could win was to perfect her serve. Wow!!
So you know my mind went racing. It's all in the serve....hmmmm. Just think.......your competitor, your enemy, your antagonist, the person who is against you........if you serve the right way there is no way you can lose!!!! Bottomline.
I always tell my little sisters that the sow/reap principle is not only a natural law, but a Spiritual law. If you sow good seed (or should I say serve good seed), then you can't help but to reap good. Umph! Wow, I have to practice that a little more this week.
Ok, do you consider watching Venus and Serena doing their thing sports??? Well, that's probably the only game that will have my complete undivided attention and interest. Can I just say that those girls are baaaad. But how do you make it all the way to the top just to play your own sister?? I like what Venus said, "I'm big sister first and I play that role well". In fact, she said that when it was determined that she and Serena had won all of their rounds and would be competing for the title against each other their father went home and said that his work was done.
But I listened to both interviews from Serena and Venus. And they both said something so profound. IT WAS ALL IN THE SERVE!!! Serena said that Venus perfected her serve and she just could not match it. Venus said that she knew she was playing against a real hardcore pro and that the only way she could win was to perfect her serve. Wow!!
So you know my mind went racing. It's all in the serve....hmmmm. Just think.......your competitor, your enemy, your antagonist, the person who is against you........if you serve the right way there is no way you can lose!!!! Bottomline.
I always tell my little sisters that the sow/reap principle is not only a natural law, but a Spiritual law. If you sow good seed (or should I say serve good seed), then you can't help but to reap good. Umph! Wow, I have to practice that a little more this week.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Family Prayer
I missed the family prayer tonight. And I'm a little upset about it. That darn technology thingy!!!
My mother had given TIMELY and precise instructions this afternoon that there was going to be a mandatory family prayer at 9:00p tonight. The simple instructions said for us to either log into http://www.visionspeaks.com or to call into the phone number provided (my uncle is a pastor in NY and was leading the prayer). Between chatting on the phone, mopping the kitchen floor, and preparing for work I ended up logging on late and couldn't get a good connection. I did manage to hear a piece of the roll call......Donna, Caroline, Will, Leah, Granddaddy.............I'm sure the list went on and on since there is a good 70 of us in my grandparents clan representing New York, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, Atlanta, Miami, and Houston. When we got the text alert earlier phones started buzzing.......what's wrong, somebody sick......I mean dag can't we just pray as a family for no reason. But I understood the concerns and even called my mother to get any 4-1-1.
As soon as I entered my name on the roll my connection failed. So, I called the number and got an instant voicemail which led me to believe that all the lines were taken. So I called around, and around, and around. Voicemail. At about 9:28p I finally got my sister and told her to plug me in on 3-way and what'll you know..............it's over!! She said.
So I'm a little dissapointed.
But I'm glad that we were all able to come together on short notice to corporately pray as one unit. As a family.
My mother had given TIMELY and precise instructions this afternoon that there was going to be a mandatory family prayer at 9:00p tonight. The simple instructions said for us to either log into http://www.visionspeaks.com or to call into the phone number provided (my uncle is a pastor in NY and was leading the prayer). Between chatting on the phone, mopping the kitchen floor, and preparing for work I ended up logging on late and couldn't get a good connection. I did manage to hear a piece of the roll call......Donna, Caroline, Will, Leah, Granddaddy.............I'm sure the list went on and on since there is a good 70 of us in my grandparents clan representing New York, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, Atlanta, Miami, and Houston. When we got the text alert earlier phones started buzzing.......what's wrong, somebody sick......I mean dag can't we just pray as a family for no reason. But I understood the concerns and even called my mother to get any 4-1-1.
As soon as I entered my name on the roll my connection failed. So, I called the number and got an instant voicemail which led me to believe that all the lines were taken. So I called around, and around, and around. Voicemail. At about 9:28p I finally got my sister and told her to plug me in on 3-way and what'll you know..............it's over!! She said.
So I'm a little dissapointed.
But I'm glad that we were all able to come together on short notice to corporately pray as one unit. As a family.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
He Came to Set the Captives Free!
Ok, what a great story!! One with such a powerful message---I might add. It's the story of the freed Colombians (and 3 Americans) that's been all over the news the last day or so. I was actually on the treadmill watching CNN last night when I witnessed their freedom as they jumped happily off the plane in Bogota, Colombia (dagonit, where is Colombia? Gotta get the map). Anyway, two survivors moved me to pieces.
The first is of Ingrid Betancourt (the only female held in captivity), who was the Colombian Presidential Candidate when she was detained by the Colombian Marxist. She spoke about how she went 2,321 days in captivity being humiliated and sickened. She talked about how they'd have to walk through the jungle and when they'd see the white helicopters (the adversary) she'd feel worse. She said that through all the trials and hell-on-earth she experienced, she still prayed fervently every morning to God and the "Virgin Mary". (Ok, I'm not a Catholic, but as long as she know's Christ.....then hey she's alright with me). But Ingrid said she prayed constantly which leads me to believe that she obviously had a relationship with the Lord. She said that she had faith that she would one day see her mother and children again. And knew that even though her chances of survival were minimal to none, she kept her belief.
Then there's Keith Stansell, the U.S. Marine who was working as a contractor for Northrop Grubman when his plane went down over a coca-growing region and the Colombian Marxist took him, and two others into captivity. There were actually 5 of them who survived the plane crash, but the rebels actual shot two of them. Keith spoke about how he was chained to another's neck for nine months straight. But Keith's story overall is such an awesome love story. A weird one, but a powerful message nonetheless. Keith was actually engaged at the time he was taken into captivity. At the SAME time, he had a girlfriend named Patricia, a flight attendant, whom he met during a business trip (ok, this is kinda confusing so bear with me). Just before he was taken into captivity, he learned that Patricia was pregnant. While Keith was held hostage the media gave him a chance to make a few shout outs. So of course he made a shout out to his family and his fiance, not Patricia. Patricia was listening at the time and when she heard FIANCE she was devastated cause she had no idea he was engaged to another. However Patricia made the difficult decision to remain his friend. In fact, she never stopped communicating with him and kept him to date on her pregnancy.
After some time, Keith's fiance gave up on him. And he later discovered that she'd married someone else. But Patricia remained. In fact, she'd given birth to twin boys in which she made sure they knew who their father was. A couple of years later, another hostage was set free and Patricia made it her business to attend his release celebration. When the freed hostage found out Patricia was there he told her he had a message for her. He handed her a rose and a note from Keith. The note said, "Will You Be My Wife?"
When Keith spoke on yesterday he talked about how Patricia was a constant and never gave up on him. He also talked about how he was so impressed on how she was raising their boys. Patricia said that when she received the message that Keith was freed, the boys were heard screaming in the background. The boys are now 5 years old!! Can you imagine waiting that long???
Talk about faith. I was just so moved by all of the survivors. I mean these survivors went through so much turmoil, but they kept the faith believing that one day they would be freed.
Now this is the part that made me really teary. Ingrid talked about how when the helicopter (the normal white helicopter of the adversary) picked them up she was at this point in her worse I-dont-care-anymore attitude. She said that she was so exhausted, but she didn't want them to touch her, look at her, nor did she want to be around them. But she had to respect them. When they got into the air the "rebels" did their normal thing---I guess walk around looking intimidating---but something strange happened. One of the "rebels" got up and made an announcement. He said, "I want you all to know that we are not really rebels. We are the national military and you all are free". Ingrid said that when they all heard the announcement the helicopter almost collapsed because everybody was jumping up and down in astonishment.
I tell you......the Lord never ceases to amaze me. He can do ANYTHING and will use ANY means necessary to serve out His mission and promise. I mean, c'mon......only God can disguise the military into rebels fooling the real rebels and convincing them that they were sent by the big man rebel to pick up the hostages. The real rebels handed over the hostages AND even gave them their guns thinking that the military was one of them. All of this happened without firing not even one shot. C'mon now, that's some divine intervention right there.
The first is of Ingrid Betancourt (the only female held in captivity), who was the Colombian Presidential Candidate when she was detained by the Colombian Marxist. She spoke about how she went 2,321 days in captivity being humiliated and sickened. She talked about how they'd have to walk through the jungle and when they'd see the white helicopters (the adversary) she'd feel worse. She said that through all the trials and hell-on-earth she experienced, she still prayed fervently every morning to God and the "Virgin Mary". (Ok, I'm not a Catholic, but as long as she know's Christ.....then hey she's alright with me). But Ingrid said she prayed constantly which leads me to believe that she obviously had a relationship with the Lord. She said that she had faith that she would one day see her mother and children again. And knew that even though her chances of survival were minimal to none, she kept her belief.
Then there's Keith Stansell, the U.S. Marine who was working as a contractor for Northrop Grubman when his plane went down over a coca-growing region and the Colombian Marxist took him, and two others into captivity. There were actually 5 of them who survived the plane crash, but the rebels actual shot two of them. Keith spoke about how he was chained to another's neck for nine months straight. But Keith's story overall is such an awesome love story. A weird one, but a powerful message nonetheless. Keith was actually engaged at the time he was taken into captivity. At the SAME time, he had a girlfriend named Patricia, a flight attendant, whom he met during a business trip (ok, this is kinda confusing so bear with me). Just before he was taken into captivity, he learned that Patricia was pregnant. While Keith was held hostage the media gave him a chance to make a few shout outs. So of course he made a shout out to his family and his fiance, not Patricia. Patricia was listening at the time and when she heard FIANCE she was devastated cause she had no idea he was engaged to another. However Patricia made the difficult decision to remain his friend. In fact, she never stopped communicating with him and kept him to date on her pregnancy.
After some time, Keith's fiance gave up on him. And he later discovered that she'd married someone else. But Patricia remained. In fact, she'd given birth to twin boys in which she made sure they knew who their father was. A couple of years later, another hostage was set free and Patricia made it her business to attend his release celebration. When the freed hostage found out Patricia was there he told her he had a message for her. He handed her a rose and a note from Keith. The note said, "Will You Be My Wife?"
When Keith spoke on yesterday he talked about how Patricia was a constant and never gave up on him. He also talked about how he was so impressed on how she was raising their boys. Patricia said that when she received the message that Keith was freed, the boys were heard screaming in the background. The boys are now 5 years old!! Can you imagine waiting that long???
Talk about faith. I was just so moved by all of the survivors. I mean these survivors went through so much turmoil, but they kept the faith believing that one day they would be freed.
Now this is the part that made me really teary. Ingrid talked about how when the helicopter (the normal white helicopter of the adversary) picked them up she was at this point in her worse I-dont-care-anymore attitude. She said that she was so exhausted, but she didn't want them to touch her, look at her, nor did she want to be around them. But she had to respect them. When they got into the air the "rebels" did their normal thing---I guess walk around looking intimidating---but something strange happened. One of the "rebels" got up and made an announcement. He said, "I want you all to know that we are not really rebels. We are the national military and you all are free". Ingrid said that when they all heard the announcement the helicopter almost collapsed because everybody was jumping up and down in astonishment.
I tell you......the Lord never ceases to amaze me. He can do ANYTHING and will use ANY means necessary to serve out His mission and promise. I mean, c'mon......only God can disguise the military into rebels fooling the real rebels and convincing them that they were sent by the big man rebel to pick up the hostages. The real rebels handed over the hostages AND even gave them their guns thinking that the military was one of them. All of this happened without firing not even one shot. C'mon now, that's some divine intervention right there.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Edge of the Cliff
Received an email this morning---yeah, one of those emails---but this one really really spoke to me. It basically said that when God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and jump. YES, JUMP!!! If you really trust him only 1 of 2 things will happen:
1. Either He'll catch you when you fall, or;
2. He'll teach you how to fly!
I soooo needed to hear this because the Lord has really been dealing with me concerning making the right choices, as well as our power to choose. I'm one of those people who MUST know that I am making a decision according to God's will. And so making decisions can sometimes become more agonizing than they really have to be. I am now understanding that if I am committed to the will of God and walking in his will daily that when I come to a crossroad--or in this scernario a cliff--the best thing I can do is continue. That's what faith is, right??? Man, we can spend a lifetime questioning the Lord's will about a situation, and be out of His will for not proceeding into purpose.
I've said this before, but I think I need to say it again.......I heard Bill Winston say that if you come to a situation and you THINK you heard the Lord say proceed, THEN PROCEED!!! And if you come to realize that you did make the wrong decision then let His mercy fix it!!
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? --Romans 8:27-31
1. Either He'll catch you when you fall, or;
2. He'll teach you how to fly!
I soooo needed to hear this because the Lord has really been dealing with me concerning making the right choices, as well as our power to choose. I'm one of those people who MUST know that I am making a decision according to God's will. And so making decisions can sometimes become more agonizing than they really have to be. I am now understanding that if I am committed to the will of God and walking in his will daily that when I come to a crossroad--or in this scernario a cliff--the best thing I can do is continue. That's what faith is, right??? Man, we can spend a lifetime questioning the Lord's will about a situation, and be out of His will for not proceeding into purpose.
I've said this before, but I think I need to say it again.......I heard Bill Winston say that if you come to a situation and you THINK you heard the Lord say proceed, THEN PROCEED!!! And if you come to realize that you did make the wrong decision then let His mercy fix it!!
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? --Romans 8:27-31
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