I’m disturbed today. I had a conversation with a good girlfriend this morning that needed to vent. Actually, the conversation just started as a normal “what’s going on”. But a quick check-in turned into an hour and a half release session. And normally I wouldn’t share personal conversations on my blog……..but this one needs to be shared. So I’ll change the names to protect privacy.
Ok here goes. My girlfriend Shauna allowed another girlfriend, Beverly, to stay with her while Beverly is getting her house remodeled. Well, it’s been over eight months and Beverly is still at Shauna’s. It hasn’t been a major inconvenience for Shauna other than Beverly rearranging stuff around the house that Shauna has to constantly re-rearrange. And other than Shauna’s boyfriend feeling cheated because he feels like he’s now the third-wheel when he visits. And other than Shauna having to hear Beverly’s bickering when I’m invited over because Beverly says she has no where to "hide". She tells Shauna that she doesn’t want me to know that she’s staying there. I mean, who am I???? Beverly has always played the pride thing with me, but I ain’t trippin……really I’m not. I mean, not over her needing to stay with her girlfriend. And anyway Shauna doesn’t keep too much from me and had already told me that Beverly was staying with her prior to me getting there. And if Shauna didn’t I would have seen all of Beverly’s Louis Vuitton luggage, Gucci shoes and bags taking up most of Shauna’s basement anyway. But other than the minor inconveniences with me and Shauna’s boyfriend, they’re still friends and Shauna would do, and is doing, all she can to help her friend.
But today I hit the fan!!!! In fact, I kicked it. Ok let me break it down a little. Beverly is a mutual friend of me and Shauna’s, but Shauna is much closer to Beverly than I am. In the past, me and Beverly have worked on several projects together which resulted in us traveling together. Beverly lives a very extravagant, but low-key, lifestyle having a boyfriend who’s really wealthy. And in the past I’ve benefited from their relationship experiencing some of the most prestigious places on their dime. But it’s been a while since we’ve hung together. And when we did I really wasn’t committed to my faith as I am now. Saying that……we’ve never shared our Spiritual beliefs with one another. I mean, Beverly is a good-hearted person and easy to get along with and that’s that. But Shauna is actually my friend and I know that she’s a Christian and that she loves the Lord.
Anyway, so today as I’m talking to Shauna, she tells me that Beverly has built a shrine (altar or whatever you want to call it) in her basement. In Shauna’s basement!!! Shauna says that it is two candles, incense, a bowl of fruit, and some other mess. It sounds like some buddhist voodoo crap. As she was telling me this I’m speechless with my mouth hung opened. I completely ignored Shauna’s complaint that she and her boyfriend aren’t able to “get their groove on” for the past few months thinking Beverly might hear them. I was in shock about the shrine. Then she told me that the other day Beverly was cooking dinner and had taken two plates out of the cabinet and started putting food on them. Shauna said she told Beverly that she wasn’t hungry. But Beverly told her that the other plate was for her mother. BEVERLY MOTHER IS DEAD!!!! Shauna was confused. She thought Beverly was joking. But an hour or so later she went downstairs and saw the plate of food sitting on the shrine. I went off!!!! You mean to tell me that this woman is feeding death!!!!! I should have known something was up when the cat mysteriously ran away last week. I mean really. The cat just disappeared. Ran out the house and hasn’t been seen since.
I’m trying to be an understanding friend to Shauna cause I don’t want her to feel like I’m pressuring her to put her friend out in the cold. Also because Beverly is apparently beefing with her boyfriend which leads us to believe that perhaps her house isn’t being remodeled and she just doesn’t want to be alone. We don’t know. But what is pissing me off is……how can you disrespect someone’s home like that???? That’s worse than doing sexual activities in someone else’s house. That's worse than doing sexual activities in your parents house!!! That’s invoking demonic spirits into the home. How disrespectful. Oh no, this mess has to stop!!!!
Unfortunately, I have committed plans this weekend so I can’t go to Shauna’s to pray. But I’m praying as I write this entry. And I gave her instructions to pray from the attic of her house to the basement, in every corner shouting the BLOOD OF JESUS. Demonic spirits are real and when they find an opening they will come in and take charge. The cat done got up out there and I can guarantee that other negativity is getting ready to happen. I sure hope Shauna takes this seriously. The funny thing is that I was telling another girlfriend about this and she was saying that that’s why it is so important for our homes to be under the Lord’s subjection. We have to be careful of the activities we do and allow to be done in our homes. She has a point----if Shauna’s house was under God's authority then it is guaranteed that Beverly would have been gone already. Or probably wouldn’t have even wanted to stay there.
Oh my goodness!!!! I just received a revelation…………that’s why Beverly doesn’t want me to come over to Shauna’s. Ok, I got my work cut out. That demon got to go!!!!
He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” --Mark 16:16-18
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sweet October
What a month. October has been a transitioning month for me since the beginning. Of my life that is. No, I wasn’t born in October, but my earliest memories started in October. And I became a woman---in more than one way---in October (lol). Ironically, 60% of my grandparents’ clan celebrates birthdays this month including my mother and our newest edition……….little miss Brianna, my niece. My oldest sister was actually due to deliver my niece, D’Asia, on October 31st back in 1999, but the family wasn’t having it. We don't do the spooky day. So November 1st we welcomed my niece. But October has ALWAYS brought changes for either me directly, or my family---from birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, surgeries, and even death. But out of all of October’s 31 days, October 30th holds my deepest memory. That’s today.
It was October 30, 1974. I can remember this day as if it was yesterday. I was just four years old. My oldest sister, Tammy, was six. At the time, we were living with my great grandparents. It had to be early evening when we received a knock at the door. Now let me remind you…….we were living in the Forty Projects in Jamaica, New York---umph. Anyway, we got a knock on the door. My grandmother was cooking dinner. So my grandfather answered the door. Two men stood on the other side asking questions. I don’t remember what they were asking, but I do remember that I was playing on the floor holding on to my grandfather’s legs as he spoke to the strangers. Then, all of a sudden the two men pushed the door open and pulled out guns. The look on my grandfather’s face was unexplainable.
While one of the men ordered my grandfather to lead him into the bedroom (apparently where my great grandparents kept their most prized possessions), the other made my grandmother lead the three of us into the living room. It seemed forever that we sat in the living room speechless with a gun pointing in our faces until my grandfather gave up all he worked so hard for. My grandmother sat there so still holding me and my sister. I imagined she felt helpless, but being a woman of God I know she was praying hard internally.
After forever, my grandfather was led into the living room with us. The robbers sat him in a chair and wrapped him up in duck tape---his mouth, feet, legs, hands, and arms behind his back as we watched. Two men with two guns held us hostage until they got what they wanted. Then all of a sudden, my sister blurts out the most famous line in our family’s history……. “please, please don’t kill my grandfather cause he has to take me to my Halloween party tomorrow!!!!” Lololol. Then they left.
That night our apartment was a mad house. My grandfather was fired up. I imagine he felt his manhood was robbed along with his life savings seeing his family in such a position and not being able to do anything. That night, from the police to family to church members to our pastor, all were there til wee hours in the morning. Then I remember our pastor praying over us. I guess I knew then the power of prayer cause exactly one year later, when I was five years old, my great grandparents packed the four of us up, and our young mother, and moved us to Maryland. Both of my great grandparents are deceased now. My great grandmother actually died in……..October of 1980. Things changed drastically for our family after her death.
But even though October holds my heaviest memories, it hasn’t been all bad. And so I still luuuuv October. And it’s still my favorite month of the year. Cause it’s harvest time. It’s a new season, it’s a new day, fresh anointing, flowing my way, it’s a season of power and prosperity, it’s a new season coming to me……as Israel and New Breed sings. The time falls back and folk start to lay low spending quality time with loved ones. It’s such a cozy time. And you can feel the warmth (even though its cold today---lol) in the air. So I love October. It’s probably why I love the color Orange.
Oh!! Did I mention that last year on this day I met [my friend]. Yes, it’s been one whole year. See, October is sweet.
It was October 30, 1974. I can remember this day as if it was yesterday. I was just four years old. My oldest sister, Tammy, was six. At the time, we were living with my great grandparents. It had to be early evening when we received a knock at the door. Now let me remind you…….we were living in the Forty Projects in Jamaica, New York---umph. Anyway, we got a knock on the door. My grandmother was cooking dinner. So my grandfather answered the door. Two men stood on the other side asking questions. I don’t remember what they were asking, but I do remember that I was playing on the floor holding on to my grandfather’s legs as he spoke to the strangers. Then, all of a sudden the two men pushed the door open and pulled out guns. The look on my grandfather’s face was unexplainable.
While one of the men ordered my grandfather to lead him into the bedroom (apparently where my great grandparents kept their most prized possessions), the other made my grandmother lead the three of us into the living room. It seemed forever that we sat in the living room speechless with a gun pointing in our faces until my grandfather gave up all he worked so hard for. My grandmother sat there so still holding me and my sister. I imagined she felt helpless, but being a woman of God I know she was praying hard internally.
After forever, my grandfather was led into the living room with us. The robbers sat him in a chair and wrapped him up in duck tape---his mouth, feet, legs, hands, and arms behind his back as we watched. Two men with two guns held us hostage until they got what they wanted. Then all of a sudden, my sister blurts out the most famous line in our family’s history……. “please, please don’t kill my grandfather cause he has to take me to my Halloween party tomorrow!!!!” Lololol. Then they left.
That night our apartment was a mad house. My grandfather was fired up. I imagine he felt his manhood was robbed along with his life savings seeing his family in such a position and not being able to do anything. That night, from the police to family to church members to our pastor, all were there til wee hours in the morning. Then I remember our pastor praying over us. I guess I knew then the power of prayer cause exactly one year later, when I was five years old, my great grandparents packed the four of us up, and our young mother, and moved us to Maryland. Both of my great grandparents are deceased now. My great grandmother actually died in……..October of 1980. Things changed drastically for our family after her death.
But even though October holds my heaviest memories, it hasn’t been all bad. And so I still luuuuv October. And it’s still my favorite month of the year. Cause it’s harvest time. It’s a new season, it’s a new day, fresh anointing, flowing my way, it’s a season of power and prosperity, it’s a new season coming to me……as Israel and New Breed sings. The time falls back and folk start to lay low spending quality time with loved ones. It’s such a cozy time. And you can feel the warmth (even though its cold today---lol) in the air. So I love October. It’s probably why I love the color Orange.
Oh!! Did I mention that last year on this day I met [my friend]. Yes, it’s been one whole year. See, October is sweet.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Technical Difficulties
This is going to be lengthy today. I so need to write this entry. Especially with so much going on and people acting like they giving up on God cause they can’t figure out “why He would allow bad things to happen”. First, let me say that we are born into sin and we live in a sinful world that is ruled by a very cunning force---satan. And when satan sees an opening he slips in. Bottomline.
One of the biggest misunderstandings is how God operate and how satan operates. God is a Spirit. The Holy Spirit. He’s omni-present, omniscient. You can’t see Him, but He is ALWAYS with His people. Satan is a spirit as well. A negative spirit. The difference is that he is not omni-present, omniscient. Therefore, his spirit has to dwell in something to operate. Like in people. That’s why it is so important to have God’s covering cause you don’t know who or what satan is using to destroy you.
Second, where is this notion coming from that being a Christian is difficult??? LOLOLOL. I’m laughing because……because it’s funny. Maybe I don’t understand since I luuuv being a Christian and I was raised in a devout Christian home. Being a Christian for me is freedom. I have a whole new perspective on life since fully submitting to God’s authority. My wisdom and knowledge is expanding by the hour. And it feels good. Its such joy. In which I now know the difference between having joy and being happy. Do I get disappointed…..heck yes. Do I cry……I think more than I’m suppose to. But I wouldn’t trade my salvation for NOTHING. Or NOBODY.
So I was having a conversation with an associate and she was expressing to me that it’s hard for her to maintain a Christian lifestyle because there seems to be so many “rules”. I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about Christianity. Ok, rules come from the church. Perhaps from a church’s denomination---Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, etc. I was raised a Pentecostal, but it wasn’t until I got affiliated with a non-denominational church that I was able to understand some things. I’M NOT TELLING ANYBODY TO LEAVE THEIR CHURCH. But what I am saying is that it is so important to study the Word of God for your own salvation’s sake and not from a confined point-of-view. However, there are commandments that the Bible does detail and even non-Christians follow most of these. I mean, some people are just in good moral standing. But will that get you eternal life…….
After having a lengthy conversation with my associate I started thinking. I mean, what’s so difficult about living an uncompromising Christian life. I think the biggest “difficulty” has to do with being self-centered. And I’d be the first to admit that holding on to me, me, me and what I wanted and how I wanted things caused me to be a pitiful and miserable Christian. Thank God for growth. It wasn’t until I let go of me and grasped onto God that I understood what fulfillment was. And ironically, the things I thought I wanted or needed doesn’t seem so important now. And the things that I thought were impossible are now open and available to me. Sometimes I sit back and say…..WOW!!! There are things that only GOD can do. And doors that only GOD can open. And that’s what you call having favor. Ok, benefits and blessings will have to be in another entry. I promise you………it will take days for me to expound.
In a nutshell, Christianity is all about giving. Giving of self--mind, body, and soul. Surrendering to God’s authority. And being available to be used by God. Unfortunately, it ain’t all about you or me as many of our church leaders are preaching. But I do understand why these message are going forth. We’re all caught up in an unhappy world where you gotta motivate folk just to maintain here on earth. We’re not even talking about fulfilling purpose. So somehow these motivational-type sermons made its way into church, started feeding our emotions, and got addicting. Many folk are benefiting from this new wave. But developing self is foundational. It’s not meant for us to stay at this stage in our Christian journey. It’s meant for us to recognize that we are sinners, a work-in-progress, and will not be perfect as long as we’re living on this earth. Once we understand that then we can graduate to fulfilling our called purpose.
Talk about purpose. Why is finding God’s purpose so difficult???? If you look at the big picture of Christianity there are really only two missions that the Lord gave us: Love thy brethren and spread the Gospel. But you can’t love and spread until you fully accept Christ and submit to His authority. YES I SAID IT. Those folk who are not Christian and think they in love…….NOT. God is love and only when you really know God then you will come to know what real love is. And when I say God I don’t mean Confucius or Buddha or any other manmade, false god that is a perversion of Christianity. There’s only ONE God.
So what’s the difficult part of Christianity????? I mean, let me know if I’m wrong, but even if you’re not living a Christian life….when you’re operating on selfish motives life is still difficult. Right? Its just a trick of the enemy. And if satan can get your mind then he can destroy. Its clearly one of his tricks.
So, if we know that loving people and spreading the good news are our main earthly assignments then it means that we got to wake up really early in the morning to beat satan at his game of trying to knock us off course. So for the rest of this entry I’d like to share some of the things that help me in my daily Christian journey. I ain’t trying to say that I’m a perfect Christian or that this is the way to lead a Christian life……its just how I live MY life.
The Bible. God’s Word directs my life. There is no situation that comes my way that I can’t go to the Word of God and get clarification. I’m on BibleGateway daily. I run to the Word for EVERYTHING. Just a few weeks I was trying to understand how planning the next phase of my life and being in God’s perfect will relate. I mean, I know He gives us power and authority to make things happen and that it is up to us to walk out on faith and trust Him to see us through, but I’m the type that wants to know that I know--that I know--I’m being obedient to God’s will. I mean, I ain’t got time to be making the wrong plans I'm almost 40 years old. So I wanted to be sure. And I be dag on if I didn’t come across a scripture that says…… “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22. I was so excited to come across this scripture knowing that if I ran my plans across the right folk I can’t go wrong. Sure nuff, [my friend] gave me some good Godly counsel.
Devotion. I pray daily. Morning, noon, and night. I’m actually an intercessor and so I take my prayer time to heart. I’m always praying for people. By name. Sometimes the Lord will give me a dream of a certain person and so I know that means for me to pray for them. I also read a lot of Christian focused literature. I listen to Christian music. I listen to other genre’s too, but I’m selective of lyrics since music is a very powerful tool that satan uses to destroy God’s people. I remember I used to be hooked on Phyllis Hyman. For years I wondered why I was so depressed. Umph. Go figure.
Gifts and Talents. I think this is the one-color piece to a lot of folk’s puzzle. It took me so long to accept my gifts and talents. But when I did I immediately understood God’s purpose for my life. Writing in this blog plays a major part in my purpose. It’s just been over the last few weeks that I understood how powerful this thing is. I mean, I share my daily ups and downs with the public but even in my worse times, God is being glorified. I love expressing myself, but believe it or not I’m a better listener than I am a talker---lol---and so I just accepted another call on my life in which I am about to be certified as a Christian Life Coach. And then there’s my profession in which I work with the marriage initiative and so I am looking into avenues to expand marriage education more into Christianity. Using my gifts and talents occupy a lot of my time so I don’t have time to analyze and feed into negative emotion. Not to say that I don’t feel. But I try not to sweat the small stuff. I turn it over as fast as I can.
Godly Relationships. I can’t tell you how many scriptures talk about fruitless people and bad counsel being destroyers in God’s people. I rely heavily on folk who knows God and wants to truly fulfill God’s will for their lives. Ain’t none of them perfect. But they have desires to be obedient to God. They pour into me and I into them. These folk include my family, girlfriends, guyfriends, colleagues, etc.
Church Affiliation. I left this last for a reason. Not that it is least important. But because so many Christians are only Sunday morning folk. They rely only on their church to sustain them and when they leave...their Christianity stays at church. Christianity is a lifestyle not a religion. Ok, I’m preaching now---lol. But on the flip side, going to church is so much more than just attending. To me, a good church contains all of the following activities: Biblical-based teaching, praise and worship, fellowship, hospitality, and community service. Am I missing one. Maybe, maybe not. But being in a Bible-based church is imperative.
All of the above is a part of how “I” live my Christian life. It’s so much more than going to church for me. It is definitely a lifestyle. But of course trying to be a Christian without the Holy Spirit is impossible. But to say that living a Christian lifestyle is difficult…….wow. Having God’s Spirit residing on the inside to protect and provide and guide. Oh and to convict---lol. That’s such a good feeling. And its good knowing that whatever happens to me on a day-to-day He got my back. Wow. Being a Christian comes so easy for me. need I say more.
One of the biggest misunderstandings is how God operate and how satan operates. God is a Spirit. The Holy Spirit. He’s omni-present, omniscient. You can’t see Him, but He is ALWAYS with His people. Satan is a spirit as well. A negative spirit. The difference is that he is not omni-present, omniscient. Therefore, his spirit has to dwell in something to operate. Like in people. That’s why it is so important to have God’s covering cause you don’t know who or what satan is using to destroy you.
Second, where is this notion coming from that being a Christian is difficult??? LOLOLOL. I’m laughing because……because it’s funny. Maybe I don’t understand since I luuuv being a Christian and I was raised in a devout Christian home. Being a Christian for me is freedom. I have a whole new perspective on life since fully submitting to God’s authority. My wisdom and knowledge is expanding by the hour. And it feels good. Its such joy. In which I now know the difference between having joy and being happy. Do I get disappointed…..heck yes. Do I cry……I think more than I’m suppose to. But I wouldn’t trade my salvation for NOTHING. Or NOBODY.
So I was having a conversation with an associate and she was expressing to me that it’s hard for her to maintain a Christian lifestyle because there seems to be so many “rules”. I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about Christianity. Ok, rules come from the church. Perhaps from a church’s denomination---Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, etc. I was raised a Pentecostal, but it wasn’t until I got affiliated with a non-denominational church that I was able to understand some things. I’M NOT TELLING ANYBODY TO LEAVE THEIR CHURCH. But what I am saying is that it is so important to study the Word of God for your own salvation’s sake and not from a confined point-of-view. However, there are commandments that the Bible does detail and even non-Christians follow most of these. I mean, some people are just in good moral standing. But will that get you eternal life…….
After having a lengthy conversation with my associate I started thinking. I mean, what’s so difficult about living an uncompromising Christian life. I think the biggest “difficulty” has to do with being self-centered. And I’d be the first to admit that holding on to me, me, me and what I wanted and how I wanted things caused me to be a pitiful and miserable Christian. Thank God for growth. It wasn’t until I let go of me and grasped onto God that I understood what fulfillment was. And ironically, the things I thought I wanted or needed doesn’t seem so important now. And the things that I thought were impossible are now open and available to me. Sometimes I sit back and say…..WOW!!! There are things that only GOD can do. And doors that only GOD can open. And that’s what you call having favor. Ok, benefits and blessings will have to be in another entry. I promise you………it will take days for me to expound.
In a nutshell, Christianity is all about giving. Giving of self--mind, body, and soul. Surrendering to God’s authority. And being available to be used by God. Unfortunately, it ain’t all about you or me as many of our church leaders are preaching. But I do understand why these message are going forth. We’re all caught up in an unhappy world where you gotta motivate folk just to maintain here on earth. We’re not even talking about fulfilling purpose. So somehow these motivational-type sermons made its way into church, started feeding our emotions, and got addicting. Many folk are benefiting from this new wave. But developing self is foundational. It’s not meant for us to stay at this stage in our Christian journey. It’s meant for us to recognize that we are sinners, a work-in-progress, and will not be perfect as long as we’re living on this earth. Once we understand that then we can graduate to fulfilling our called purpose.
Talk about purpose. Why is finding God’s purpose so difficult???? If you look at the big picture of Christianity there are really only two missions that the Lord gave us: Love thy brethren and spread the Gospel. But you can’t love and spread until you fully accept Christ and submit to His authority. YES I SAID IT. Those folk who are not Christian and think they in love…….NOT. God is love and only when you really know God then you will come to know what real love is. And when I say God I don’t mean Confucius or Buddha or any other manmade, false god that is a perversion of Christianity. There’s only ONE God.
So what’s the difficult part of Christianity????? I mean, let me know if I’m wrong, but even if you’re not living a Christian life….when you’re operating on selfish motives life is still difficult. Right? Its just a trick of the enemy. And if satan can get your mind then he can destroy. Its clearly one of his tricks.
So, if we know that loving people and spreading the good news are our main earthly assignments then it means that we got to wake up really early in the morning to beat satan at his game of trying to knock us off course. So for the rest of this entry I’d like to share some of the things that help me in my daily Christian journey. I ain’t trying to say that I’m a perfect Christian or that this is the way to lead a Christian life……its just how I live MY life.
The Bible. God’s Word directs my life. There is no situation that comes my way that I can’t go to the Word of God and get clarification. I’m on BibleGateway daily. I run to the Word for EVERYTHING. Just a few weeks I was trying to understand how planning the next phase of my life and being in God’s perfect will relate. I mean, I know He gives us power and authority to make things happen and that it is up to us to walk out on faith and trust Him to see us through, but I’m the type that wants to know that I know--that I know--I’m being obedient to God’s will. I mean, I ain’t got time to be making the wrong plans I'm almost 40 years old. So I wanted to be sure. And I be dag on if I didn’t come across a scripture that says…… “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22. I was so excited to come across this scripture knowing that if I ran my plans across the right folk I can’t go wrong. Sure nuff, [my friend] gave me some good Godly counsel.
Devotion. I pray daily. Morning, noon, and night. I’m actually an intercessor and so I take my prayer time to heart. I’m always praying for people. By name. Sometimes the Lord will give me a dream of a certain person and so I know that means for me to pray for them. I also read a lot of Christian focused literature. I listen to Christian music. I listen to other genre’s too, but I’m selective of lyrics since music is a very powerful tool that satan uses to destroy God’s people. I remember I used to be hooked on Phyllis Hyman. For years I wondered why I was so depressed. Umph. Go figure.
Gifts and Talents. I think this is the one-color piece to a lot of folk’s puzzle. It took me so long to accept my gifts and talents. But when I did I immediately understood God’s purpose for my life. Writing in this blog plays a major part in my purpose. It’s just been over the last few weeks that I understood how powerful this thing is. I mean, I share my daily ups and downs with the public but even in my worse times, God is being glorified. I love expressing myself, but believe it or not I’m a better listener than I am a talker---lol---and so I just accepted another call on my life in which I am about to be certified as a Christian Life Coach. And then there’s my profession in which I work with the marriage initiative and so I am looking into avenues to expand marriage education more into Christianity. Using my gifts and talents occupy a lot of my time so I don’t have time to analyze and feed into negative emotion. Not to say that I don’t feel. But I try not to sweat the small stuff. I turn it over as fast as I can.
Godly Relationships. I can’t tell you how many scriptures talk about fruitless people and bad counsel being destroyers in God’s people. I rely heavily on folk who knows God and wants to truly fulfill God’s will for their lives. Ain’t none of them perfect. But they have desires to be obedient to God. They pour into me and I into them. These folk include my family, girlfriends, guyfriends, colleagues, etc.
Church Affiliation. I left this last for a reason. Not that it is least important. But because so many Christians are only Sunday morning folk. They rely only on their church to sustain them and when they leave...their Christianity stays at church. Christianity is a lifestyle not a religion. Ok, I’m preaching now---lol. But on the flip side, going to church is so much more than just attending. To me, a good church contains all of the following activities: Biblical-based teaching, praise and worship, fellowship, hospitality, and community service. Am I missing one. Maybe, maybe not. But being in a Bible-based church is imperative.
All of the above is a part of how “I” live my Christian life. It’s so much more than going to church for me. It is definitely a lifestyle. But of course trying to be a Christian without the Holy Spirit is impossible. But to say that living a Christian lifestyle is difficult…….wow. Having God’s Spirit residing on the inside to protect and provide and guide. Oh and to convict---lol. That’s such a good feeling. And its good knowing that whatever happens to me on a day-to-day He got my back. Wow. Being a Christian comes so easy for me. need I say more.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Just Pray For........
So much is going through my mind this weekend. Actually, I’ve been having a certain thought all week. See, I’ve been thinking and thinking about prayer and how so many of us use the term…..just pray for such and such…..so lightly. Maybe the thought started when I saw the last episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It was the beginning scene where NeNe is having lunch with her “flamboyant” male acquaintance and she discusses the Sheree birthday party issue with him. As NeNe continued to vent about the humiliation her flamboyant friend responded……. “just pray for her.” His closing response to the situation just sounded so insincere.
I hear people say this so much. And it kinda sickens me because the term is used so nonchalantly and passive. Do folk really know the power of prayer????? I mean, do folk really understand that prayer is an intimate conversation with the Almighty???????? I’m just thinking of the many times I’ve signed, and seen, cards with…….. “you’re in my thoughts and prayers.” Do we really mean it???? Did I really pray for that person?????
But this weekend something happened. As I surfed the net trying to put the pieces together to what really went wrong with Jennifer Hudson‘s family, I kept stumbling over articles that concluded with…….. “please keep Jennifer Hudson and her family in your prayers” or something like that. And although this term has been misused, I just feel that the Spiritual realm is in full force concerning Jennifer's family. However it saddens me that a tragedy as this would remind us to be unified in prayer. Our children are the cause of so many senseless acts of crime and violence and its time that we come together not just this weekend, but from here on out. Prayer changes things. And we in the Body of Christ have a duty to corporately pray and reclaim our family.
So as we face one of the most stressful weeks’s in our country‘s history, and as we mourn with our dreamgirl, Jennifer Hudson (and her family), it is time to forget about selfishness and unify. Therefore, I am making the commitment to pray around the clock for the next seven days and I sincerely pray that anyone who is reading this entry will join me. In closing, I dedicate the following link to the Hudson family. It just happens to be my favorite Jennifer Hudson performance. The Anointed Jennifer Hudson
Friday, October 24, 2008
Seasonal Addiction
I love this time of year, but I don’t love it at the same time for one small reason. See, I have this addiction. It’s a seasonal addiction. In Spring it’s an addiction to jelly beans. And in Fall its corn candy. I finally got up the nerve to pray about my addiction last night----and this morning since I woke up with the craving.
All week---sick and all---I’ve made it to the Giant to get me some corn candy. But yesterday it hit me and I literally felt like a junkie on drugs. I was doing good all day. No corn candy for hours. But then as I was headed home I got a little weary and cheered myself up by promising to buy myself……some corn candy. When I reached home I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. Before I knew it I was pulling in the Giant’s parking lot. I scraped up a $1.75 from my ashtray. It was the only cash I had since I’ve exceeded my weekly cash allowance by buying corn candy (and other junk) all week.
So I went to the halloween aisle and grabbed one bag of corn candy and headed to the cashier. This was the first time I’d ever purchased just one item in the Giant (they like to see me coming cause I’ll spend a paycheck in there easily—lol) so I wasn’t sure how much the corn candy actually cost. I didn’t even think about it. I had sugar on my mind. So I get to the register and the cashier politely says……… “$2.22”. My heart sank. Cause I only had $1.75. I was taken off guard. So I told the cashier that I would have to run to my car to get my wallet. My thought was……you mean you would really go into your savings for $2. But just as fast as the thought entered a thought responded and got defensive----YES I WOULD!!!! I guess the cashier could see the dismay on my face and so she said…….just give me what you have. I hurried up and gave her the wrinkled dollar bill and three quarters and grabbed my bag. No time for pride when having a sugar fit.
By the time I got to my car the bag was already opened. And by the time I got home a quarter of the bag was gone. And the Giant is only about 94 seconds from my house---umph. At one point I thought that some had spilled in my purse and I literally dumped my purse to locate the three that got away. I put them back with the rest and twisted the bag for later.
Before I got in the bed, I brushed my teeth as I normally do. And normally, I don’t eat anything after brushing. But not the case here. As I watched CNN I was dipping in the bag like I was eating popcorn. And at about 2:00a I woke up and dipped in the bag again. This morning, yes before I even brushed my teeth, I had a few more corns. And as I waited for my train I boldly opened the bag and tossed a few corns in my mouth. Oh, that……the NO EATING sign. Whatever.
It’s about 4:00p and I so want to go home, get my car, and drive straight to the Giant. But I won’t. Cause I can’t. Cause I don’t have $2.22!!!!!
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 2 Peter 1:5-7
All week---sick and all---I’ve made it to the Giant to get me some corn candy. But yesterday it hit me and I literally felt like a junkie on drugs. I was doing good all day. No corn candy for hours. But then as I was headed home I got a little weary and cheered myself up by promising to buy myself……some corn candy. When I reached home I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. Before I knew it I was pulling in the Giant’s parking lot. I scraped up a $1.75 from my ashtray. It was the only cash I had since I’ve exceeded my weekly cash allowance by buying corn candy (and other junk) all week.
So I went to the halloween aisle and grabbed one bag of corn candy and headed to the cashier. This was the first time I’d ever purchased just one item in the Giant (they like to see me coming cause I’ll spend a paycheck in there easily—lol) so I wasn’t sure how much the corn candy actually cost. I didn’t even think about it. I had sugar on my mind. So I get to the register and the cashier politely says……… “$2.22”. My heart sank. Cause I only had $1.75. I was taken off guard. So I told the cashier that I would have to run to my car to get my wallet. My thought was……you mean you would really go into your savings for $2. But just as fast as the thought entered a thought responded and got defensive----YES I WOULD!!!! I guess the cashier could see the dismay on my face and so she said…….just give me what you have. I hurried up and gave her the wrinkled dollar bill and three quarters and grabbed my bag. No time for pride when having a sugar fit.
By the time I got to my car the bag was already opened. And by the time I got home a quarter of the bag was gone. And the Giant is only about 94 seconds from my house---umph. At one point I thought that some had spilled in my purse and I literally dumped my purse to locate the three that got away. I put them back with the rest and twisted the bag for later.
Before I got in the bed, I brushed my teeth as I normally do. And normally, I don’t eat anything after brushing. But not the case here. As I watched CNN I was dipping in the bag like I was eating popcorn. And at about 2:00a I woke up and dipped in the bag again. This morning, yes before I even brushed my teeth, I had a few more corns. And as I waited for my train I boldly opened the bag and tossed a few corns in my mouth. Oh, that……the NO EATING sign. Whatever.
It’s about 4:00p and I so want to go home, get my car, and drive straight to the Giant. But I won’t. Cause I can’t. Cause I don’t have $2.22!!!!!
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 2 Peter 1:5-7
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Who's Responsibility?
So I stayed home today. Sick. I think it’s a combination of being stressed, overwhelmed, and probably a touch of the flu. I couldn’t even get out of the bed this morning. My head wouldn’t rise off the pillow. And even if it could I’d probably get depressed glimpsing at the mess. Just about every pair of shoes I own was spread all over my bedroom floor and the laundry room was depressing me when I eventually got the strength to pass it as I made my way to the bathroom. I conveniently shut the laundry room's door and told myself I’d deal with it whenever. Mail was all over the table, the dust on my wood surfaces was very visible, and every cup I own was in the sink. I was sick. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
At about 2:00p I made myself get up. Weakness and all. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to take responsibility. There was no way I could go another day with this housework lying on my conscious. So I took a One-a-Day Energy vitamin, plugged into Pandora.com, and rolled up my sleeves. (Deep Breath) It took me every bit of six hours, but my house is spotless!! And it smells wonderful thanks to my Febreze plug-ins---luuuvs them. I mean, it feels so good to accomplish something as minute as housework. I got my strength back.
Ok, I need to vent. I have an opinion to express. I think it came to a head after I took responsibility to clean my house. Or maybe after seeing Oprah today. Oprah was on while I was cleaning. I promise you I ain’t into Oprah like that no more. But the show was about the economy and how parents are now beginning to be upfront with their children about their finances and having to tell them NO to past luxuries. So I started thinking. My mind automatically went to last night.
Last night. Last night. Yeah, yeah I watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Hate to admit it, but I do. And I’m disgusted. Why is it that my favorite housewife is disappointing me more and more each episode. Where did us sistahs go wrong. I mean really. I’d be the first to admit that I would love for my husband to put me in a big ole mcmansion and give me some budgetless options. But if it means that I lose perspective where I can’t even manage my household---making up a bed, cooking my kids breakfast, and washing a few dishes then something is wrong with that dream. No, I realize that chores aren’t on the top of everybody’s favorite things to do list, but it’s a part of the package. It’s called---RESPONSIBILITY. Being freaking responsible. You mess up, you clean up. And its doable. I got a few sisters who are wives, mothers, maintain full-time positions, go to school a few days a week, make it to church regularly, and manage to spend a couple hours with their girlfriends. And they clean their own homes and cook their family's meals. So its doable!!!
Ok, I really don’t know how to proceed. I really don’t. Ok, let me start with this. What does Deshawn Snow really do??????? She stresses that she is extremely busy with her foundation and doesn‘t have time to take care of “normal“ tasks. Pinch me please. Her foundation is not really advocating a worthy cause that is putting a damper on society. How much real work does it take to boost self-esteem. I mean, do you get federal and state funds that you have to manage. I mean, is it a legitimate nonprofit organization or is it something to appease you while your husband is fulfilling his dream? I’m just asking. I mean, is it more to it than hosting celebrity events and making it sound important??? I mean, are you effectively evaluating your organization’s missions and goals and coming up with results. I perused the foundation’s website and found very little concrete information. No statistics or facts. But I did see the big make-a-donation link. A donation for what???????? To hire more make-up artists and hair stylists to sew tracks in the girls hair to make them feel pretty????
And the money part. Ok, I’m really baffled. Why host a charity event to raise a million dollars when you can forfeit your personal staff for a month, handle your own responsibilities that I’m sure you can make time for since you are your own boss, and make a nice contribution to your own foundation. How bout that!!! I mean, what are you REALLY teaching these susceptible girls???? To strive for and admire your pretentious lifestyle?????? Is that what we want our girls to be taught???? Your pretentious lifestyle is not reality. Excuse me. I get a little worked up when folk start messing with the children.
I’m so disappointed. I’m disappointed that even us in the Body of Christ keep missing the point. We’re so caught up in stuff and image that we’re operating out of a self-serving mindset. But I tell you……I’d rather live in a comfortable and affordable home where me and my husband can manage every aspect of our household from what our kids eat to weekly allowances to prayer time to chore time to family time to vacation. I pray that we don’t get so caught up in doing frivolous things that we become disconnected from our responsibilities. I don’t want it. I don’t want a maid or a cook or a housekeeper or a governess or a personal stylist or any other waste of money support. I live firmly on Phillipians 4:13 which happens to be quoted on Deshawn’s website:
As an adult, wife, and mother of three boys, I find my strength and encouragement in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Spiritual growth has taught me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
Wow!! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let me just say this…….Deshawn Snow can have the 15,000 sqft mansion and the full personal staff, but I’d rather have my husband home seven days a week.
At about 2:00p I made myself get up. Weakness and all. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to take responsibility. There was no way I could go another day with this housework lying on my conscious. So I took a One-a-Day Energy vitamin, plugged into Pandora.com, and rolled up my sleeves. (Deep Breath) It took me every bit of six hours, but my house is spotless!! And it smells wonderful thanks to my Febreze plug-ins---luuuvs them. I mean, it feels so good to accomplish something as minute as housework. I got my strength back.
Ok, I need to vent. I have an opinion to express. I think it came to a head after I took responsibility to clean my house. Or maybe after seeing Oprah today. Oprah was on while I was cleaning. I promise you I ain’t into Oprah like that no more. But the show was about the economy and how parents are now beginning to be upfront with their children about their finances and having to tell them NO to past luxuries. So I started thinking. My mind automatically went to last night.
Last night. Last night. Yeah, yeah I watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Hate to admit it, but I do. And I’m disgusted. Why is it that my favorite housewife is disappointing me more and more each episode. Where did us sistahs go wrong. I mean really. I’d be the first to admit that I would love for my husband to put me in a big ole mcmansion and give me some budgetless options. But if it means that I lose perspective where I can’t even manage my household---making up a bed, cooking my kids breakfast, and washing a few dishes then something is wrong with that dream. No, I realize that chores aren’t on the top of everybody’s favorite things to do list, but it’s a part of the package. It’s called---RESPONSIBILITY. Being freaking responsible. You mess up, you clean up. And its doable. I got a few sisters who are wives, mothers, maintain full-time positions, go to school a few days a week, make it to church regularly, and manage to spend a couple hours with their girlfriends. And they clean their own homes and cook their family's meals. So its doable!!!
Ok, I really don’t know how to proceed. I really don’t. Ok, let me start with this. What does Deshawn Snow really do??????? She stresses that she is extremely busy with her foundation and doesn‘t have time to take care of “normal“ tasks. Pinch me please. Her foundation is not really advocating a worthy cause that is putting a damper on society. How much real work does it take to boost self-esteem. I mean, do you get federal and state funds that you have to manage. I mean, is it a legitimate nonprofit organization or is it something to appease you while your husband is fulfilling his dream? I’m just asking. I mean, is it more to it than hosting celebrity events and making it sound important??? I mean, are you effectively evaluating your organization’s missions and goals and coming up with results. I perused the foundation’s website and found very little concrete information. No statistics or facts. But I did see the big make-a-donation link. A donation for what???????? To hire more make-up artists and hair stylists to sew tracks in the girls hair to make them feel pretty????
And the money part. Ok, I’m really baffled. Why host a charity event to raise a million dollars when you can forfeit your personal staff for a month, handle your own responsibilities that I’m sure you can make time for since you are your own boss, and make a nice contribution to your own foundation. How bout that!!! I mean, what are you REALLY teaching these susceptible girls???? To strive for and admire your pretentious lifestyle?????? Is that what we want our girls to be taught???? Your pretentious lifestyle is not reality. Excuse me. I get a little worked up when folk start messing with the children.
I’m so disappointed. I’m disappointed that even us in the Body of Christ keep missing the point. We’re so caught up in stuff and image that we’re operating out of a self-serving mindset. But I tell you……I’d rather live in a comfortable and affordable home where me and my husband can manage every aspect of our household from what our kids eat to weekly allowances to prayer time to chore time to family time to vacation. I pray that we don’t get so caught up in doing frivolous things that we become disconnected from our responsibilities. I don’t want it. I don’t want a maid or a cook or a housekeeper or a governess or a personal stylist or any other waste of money support. I live firmly on Phillipians 4:13 which happens to be quoted on Deshawn’s website:
As an adult, wife, and mother of three boys, I find my strength and encouragement in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Spiritual growth has taught me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
Wow!! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let me just say this…….Deshawn Snow can have the 15,000 sqft mansion and the full personal staff, but I’d rather have my husband home seven days a week.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Black Hole
I had one of those weekends this weekend where I just wanted to be in my black hole, but don’t know why. I think it’s the feeling of being overwhelmed and out-of-control.
For starters, I had my niece. She’s almost nine years old and full of questions. Everything is a question. And not that I mind that, but just having to give her so much attention while neglecting my necessities drains me. When I feel like I can’t give her what she wants (or any of my loved ones) because I need to take care of my needs I feel really really bad.
So I met my sister at Tysons on Friday night. My niece had already had dinner, so that was one less responsibility. I had planned to catch up on some reading while she settled down for bed. NOPE, didn’t happen. On Saturday, I had planned for a clean-up/dust morning while she did her homework. That didn’t happen either. She woke me up bright and early wanting pancakes. As I’m cooking and trying to clean the kitchen and wash clothes all at the same time I was constantly interrupted with…..Auntie how do you…..Auntie what’s this….Auntie…..Auntie…..Auntie. Finally, I said to myself I’ll clean tomorrow after she leaves.
All day Saturday was revolved around my niece……banana pancake breakfast, help with homework, doing her hair, movies, walk around the lake, out to dinner, watching Disney. I did manage to catch SNL with Sarah Palin on Saturday night while my niece kicked me to the edge of the bed as she slept. I'd usually laugh at Tina Fey. But couldn't.
Sunday morning I had planned to take my niece to church with me, but I was too exhausted to get us up and ready. Instead, we had another banana pancake breakfast while I tutored her on fractions. That took every bit of a couple hours. By noon I was calling my sister to meet me. As I was on my way back home…..I missed my niece sooooo much. I just needed to refuel and then we could resume on her math. Or Disney. Or whatever she wanted to do. Too bad she lives an hour away. We’d have to settle on just our usual phone call. But I missed her.
Then I thought about what I’d eat for dinner. Usually I’d cook on Sunday, but I didn’t have the energy. So I decided to stop by Popeyes on the way in to get four chicken wings. I wasn’t hungry, but knew I would be later after I cleaned. When I got home I sat the Popeyes in the microwave and was about to approach my chores but couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy. Actually, it wasn’t that I was really physically exhausted but more mentally. I felt overwhelmed. So I laid across my bed until I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up it was 4:30p. I felt so depressed. In fact between my Blackberry reminding me that I had two meetings this morning and my hair shedding on my pillowcase reminding me that I needed to condition my hair, I was sinking in despair. You know…..the black hole.
I had several piles of laundry on the laundry room floor, hair to wash, homework and reading to do, two meetings to prepare for, lunch to make, and several phone calls to return. And those from loved ones soliciting my help on just about every imaginable thing. I think I jumped into the black hole before it could grab me. I just felt overwhelmed and couldn’t move. And it had nothing to do with my niece, but I guess my state of mind the past few days. You know---being in transition.
Then I was hungry. The little chicken wings I bought were iced cold and looked nasty, so I threw on some jeans and a jean jacket over top my night shirt and went to Wendy’s. I ordered a number two with a large Hi-C fruit punch, came back home and at that, with my candy corn for dessert, and got back in the bed. I woke up at about midnight and fell in a more depressed state. I felt so hopeless. I was so unprepared for today. This week. My loved ones requests. My Monday. I wanted to call in, but couldn’t. I felt stuck.
After drifting off to sleep and sleeping restlessly in zone one, I woke back up at 4am and began praying. I knew where this feeling was going and I couldn’t afford to go there. I felt sluggish, out of control, and melancholy. So I started praying that the Lord would deliver me and take me out of the black hole. Then I was reminded of what [my friend] said to me a couple days ago…….You give me motivation because you’re always happy and upbeat. And then I started crying because that’s the attitude I have to keep for everybody. My loved ones need me. And I owe it to them to be strong. I give them hope. And motivation. And remind them of happiness.
At 6:30a I knew the Lord had given me the strength that I gave to the black hole. I climbed out and refused to go back in. And so I’m here. And I'm glad about it.
For starters, I had my niece. She’s almost nine years old and full of questions. Everything is a question. And not that I mind that, but just having to give her so much attention while neglecting my necessities drains me. When I feel like I can’t give her what she wants (or any of my loved ones) because I need to take care of my needs I feel really really bad.
So I met my sister at Tysons on Friday night. My niece had already had dinner, so that was one less responsibility. I had planned to catch up on some reading while she settled down for bed. NOPE, didn’t happen. On Saturday, I had planned for a clean-up/dust morning while she did her homework. That didn’t happen either. She woke me up bright and early wanting pancakes. As I’m cooking and trying to clean the kitchen and wash clothes all at the same time I was constantly interrupted with…..Auntie how do you…..Auntie what’s this….Auntie…..Auntie…..Auntie. Finally, I said to myself I’ll clean tomorrow after she leaves.
All day Saturday was revolved around my niece……banana pancake breakfast, help with homework, doing her hair, movies, walk around the lake, out to dinner, watching Disney. I did manage to catch SNL with Sarah Palin on Saturday night while my niece kicked me to the edge of the bed as she slept. I'd usually laugh at Tina Fey. But couldn't.
Sunday morning I had planned to take my niece to church with me, but I was too exhausted to get us up and ready. Instead, we had another banana pancake breakfast while I tutored her on fractions. That took every bit of a couple hours. By noon I was calling my sister to meet me. As I was on my way back home…..I missed my niece sooooo much. I just needed to refuel and then we could resume on her math. Or Disney. Or whatever she wanted to do. Too bad she lives an hour away. We’d have to settle on just our usual phone call. But I missed her.
Then I thought about what I’d eat for dinner. Usually I’d cook on Sunday, but I didn’t have the energy. So I decided to stop by Popeyes on the way in to get four chicken wings. I wasn’t hungry, but knew I would be later after I cleaned. When I got home I sat the Popeyes in the microwave and was about to approach my chores but couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy. Actually, it wasn’t that I was really physically exhausted but more mentally. I felt overwhelmed. So I laid across my bed until I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up it was 4:30p. I felt so depressed. In fact between my Blackberry reminding me that I had two meetings this morning and my hair shedding on my pillowcase reminding me that I needed to condition my hair, I was sinking in despair. You know…..the black hole.
I had several piles of laundry on the laundry room floor, hair to wash, homework and reading to do, two meetings to prepare for, lunch to make, and several phone calls to return. And those from loved ones soliciting my help on just about every imaginable thing. I think I jumped into the black hole before it could grab me. I just felt overwhelmed and couldn’t move. And it had nothing to do with my niece, but I guess my state of mind the past few days. You know---being in transition.
Then I was hungry. The little chicken wings I bought were iced cold and looked nasty, so I threw on some jeans and a jean jacket over top my night shirt and went to Wendy’s. I ordered a number two with a large Hi-C fruit punch, came back home and at that, with my candy corn for dessert, and got back in the bed. I woke up at about midnight and fell in a more depressed state. I felt so hopeless. I was so unprepared for today. This week. My loved ones requests. My Monday. I wanted to call in, but couldn’t. I felt stuck.
After drifting off to sleep and sleeping restlessly in zone one, I woke back up at 4am and began praying. I knew where this feeling was going and I couldn’t afford to go there. I felt sluggish, out of control, and melancholy. So I started praying that the Lord would deliver me and take me out of the black hole. Then I was reminded of what [my friend] said to me a couple days ago…….You give me motivation because you’re always happy and upbeat. And then I started crying because that’s the attitude I have to keep for everybody. My loved ones need me. And I owe it to them to be strong. I give them hope. And motivation. And remind them of happiness.
At 6:30a I knew the Lord had given me the strength that I gave to the black hole. I climbed out and refused to go back in. And so I’m here. And I'm glad about it.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Stand Alone
I always admire women who understands my Christian lifestyle by making similar choices as I’m making. One of those women is Coko (formerly of SWV). I love Coko and admire the woman of integrity, courage, and obedience she has become. LOL--not that she wasn't before, but her love and commitment to Christ is so evident these days. I often think about her for a number of reasons. But today I stumbled on an interview on Essence.com where Coko talks candidly about her Spirituality. She said frankly that there were discussions about SWV getting back together but she didn’t want to cheat the others (Taj and LeLe) knowing that she was in such a different place now--Spiritually.
I had the privilege of having dinner with Coko back in 2000. We both share a mutual friend, Jawn Murray. Me and Jawn had traveled to New York together on a public relations project. It was actually a group of us, but me and Jawn cliqued instantly and have been friends ever since. While in New York, Jawn told me that his good friend was meeting him at the Soul Café for dinner and asked if I would join them. I agreed. Minutes later Coko and her assistant walked through the door. The four of us talked for hours as we chowed down on soul food.
I remember the conversation we were having at dinner about Coko being in a certain situation. And I remember distinctively telling her……… “No, that ain’t it.” At the time I was actually going through my own transition, knowing my present state wasn’t where I was supposed to be, but enjoying the lifestyle I had created for myself. I was actually running from the Lord's voice. But even then the Lord was using me, and preparing me for His service. And I think Coko was actually going through her transition then as well.
Over the years, I have stumbled upon articles and stuff on Coko and am amazed at her Christian walk of faith. And not settling, but doing what God has called her to do. When her Gospel CD, Grateful, was released a few years ago I called Jawn and said......tell Coko that she did it!! That CD actually broke my new car in---lol. I was soooo proud of her. And I know its not easy for her to just turn away from worldly success. I know the struggle and I know the feeling of saying NO while potentially disappointing others. But it comes to a point where you have to say….God or man. And when you choose God……..you are making the choice to walk alone (that is with God alone). I can only imagine what she went through. Especially after seeing a few episodes of I Married a Baller. Being criticized and judged for taking a stand for Christ. But I’d be the first to admit that although my phone doesn’t ring like it use to the peace is second to none. Its like you have God’s stamp of approval and that’s worth more than anybody or anything. Cause I’m firm in knowing that God got my back. And I know He got Coko's.
I wish I could explain it. Cause often times those of us who choose to truly follow Christ are misunderstood. And it is not that I think I am better than my girlfriends. But like Coko, I’m not in that frame of mind anymore. I’ve said this before…..the conversations that I use to enjoy no longer interest me. The things we use to do no longer interest me. I imagine its like once you get married you no longer have the need for the single lifestyle. And right now I am so focused on what the Lord is doing in my life that I can’t give attention to anything or anyone else but God. I’m one of those that if I don’t do what God says than nothing for me works. I will never be content or happy or satisfied. I can't get away with NOTHING--lol. And I feel it when I’m off track and out of His will. But I like being on the Lord’s path cause its promises are true.
And then there are His blessings. Wow!!! When His plans begin unfolding in front of your face there’s nothing in this world that can top them. And when I look at Coko (and Salt too--Salt n’ Pepa) I see the joy of the Lord upon her. Just having a husband that is too a believer and is doing what God has called him to do. There’s nothing better than walking in God’s will. And more and more I am realizing that God will separate those who He calls because He needs us totally to Himself--mind, body, and soul. He'll give us just the right amount of company to keep us afloat, but those folk are too fulfilling His will. It's amazing how He does the lives of His chosen.
As I was out this evening an old favorite song came on the radio. It was the Denied Stone by Vanessa Bell Armstrong. It took me back listening to the part of the song where Vanessa eats it up:
So don’t you think you can’t stand alone
Yes you can because you are the denied stone
I can stand, I can make it
Jesus said, “Right—and you can read it for yourselves in your Bibles: The stone the masons threw out is now the cornerstone. This is God's work; we rub our eyes, we can hardly believe it!” “This is the way it is with you. God's kingdom will be taken back from you and handed over to a people who will live out a kingdom life. Whoever stumbles on this Stone gets shattered; whoever the Stone falls on gets smashed.” --Matthew 21:42-44 (The Message)
I had the privilege of having dinner with Coko back in 2000. We both share a mutual friend, Jawn Murray. Me and Jawn had traveled to New York together on a public relations project. It was actually a group of us, but me and Jawn cliqued instantly and have been friends ever since. While in New York, Jawn told me that his good friend was meeting him at the Soul Café for dinner and asked if I would join them. I agreed. Minutes later Coko and her assistant walked through the door. The four of us talked for hours as we chowed down on soul food.
I remember the conversation we were having at dinner about Coko being in a certain situation. And I remember distinctively telling her……… “No, that ain’t it.” At the time I was actually going through my own transition, knowing my present state wasn’t where I was supposed to be, but enjoying the lifestyle I had created for myself. I was actually running from the Lord's voice. But even then the Lord was using me, and preparing me for His service. And I think Coko was actually going through her transition then as well.
Over the years, I have stumbled upon articles and stuff on Coko and am amazed at her Christian walk of faith. And not settling, but doing what God has called her to do. When her Gospel CD, Grateful, was released a few years ago I called Jawn and said......tell Coko that she did it!! That CD actually broke my new car in---lol. I was soooo proud of her. And I know its not easy for her to just turn away from worldly success. I know the struggle and I know the feeling of saying NO while potentially disappointing others. But it comes to a point where you have to say….God or man. And when you choose God……..you are making the choice to walk alone (that is with God alone). I can only imagine what she went through. Especially after seeing a few episodes of I Married a Baller. Being criticized and judged for taking a stand for Christ. But I’d be the first to admit that although my phone doesn’t ring like it use to the peace is second to none. Its like you have God’s stamp of approval and that’s worth more than anybody or anything. Cause I’m firm in knowing that God got my back. And I know He got Coko's.
I wish I could explain it. Cause often times those of us who choose to truly follow Christ are misunderstood. And it is not that I think I am better than my girlfriends. But like Coko, I’m not in that frame of mind anymore. I’ve said this before…..the conversations that I use to enjoy no longer interest me. The things we use to do no longer interest me. I imagine its like once you get married you no longer have the need for the single lifestyle. And right now I am so focused on what the Lord is doing in my life that I can’t give attention to anything or anyone else but God. I’m one of those that if I don’t do what God says than nothing for me works. I will never be content or happy or satisfied. I can't get away with NOTHING--lol. And I feel it when I’m off track and out of His will. But I like being on the Lord’s path cause its promises are true.
And then there are His blessings. Wow!!! When His plans begin unfolding in front of your face there’s nothing in this world that can top them. And when I look at Coko (and Salt too--Salt n’ Pepa) I see the joy of the Lord upon her. Just having a husband that is too a believer and is doing what God has called him to do. There’s nothing better than walking in God’s will. And more and more I am realizing that God will separate those who He calls because He needs us totally to Himself--mind, body, and soul. He'll give us just the right amount of company to keep us afloat, but those folk are too fulfilling His will. It's amazing how He does the lives of His chosen.
As I was out this evening an old favorite song came on the radio. It was the Denied Stone by Vanessa Bell Armstrong. It took me back listening to the part of the song where Vanessa eats it up:
So don’t you think you can’t stand alone
Yes you can because you are the denied stone
I can stand, I can make it
Jesus said, “Right—and you can read it for yourselves in your Bibles: The stone the masons threw out is now the cornerstone. This is God's work; we rub our eyes, we can hardly believe it!” “This is the way it is with you. God's kingdom will be taken back from you and handed over to a people who will live out a kingdom life. Whoever stumbles on this Stone gets shattered; whoever the Stone falls on gets smashed.” --Matthew 21:42-44 (The Message)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Mrs. Nightingale
I had an episode last night. Or at least I was involved in one. Talk about being at the right place, at the right time.
Ok, so I was on the train last night coming home from work when I received an “urgent” message from [my friend] to call as soon as I got off the train. Well, we ain’t gonna talk about his urgency, but I gave him my undivided attention as I walked out the station and up to the bus stop. I was tickled at what he was saying, but I was also beat. And the thought of my 9pm online class and cooking the steak that I took out for dinner was making me more exhausted.
Normally, I’d be the first at the bus stop waiting for the bus to pull up right in front of me. I like my regular seat that places me right by the back door. Makes it easier to drag my tired body and all my bags off. But last night was different. I stood on the side soaking up every bit of our conversation. And as the crowd grew thicker, the farther I moved away. Every other sentence I’d get the usual, “are you listening to me”. I giggled and apologized, but really I was listening to every word. So much so that when the bus arrived I was the last to get on.
So as I’m still listening and talking and making my way on the bus, I noticed that there were about two seats left in the front, one being my normal seat. But for some odd reason I felt the need to sit all the way in the back. Still with the phone to my ear and discreetly trying to talk, I took one of the last seats behind a young lady who in any other situation I wouldn’t have noticed.
About two minutes into the five-minute bus ride home, I noticed that the guy across from me was looking at the young lady in front of me rather strange. All of a sudden, the young lady passed out and started falling out of her seat to the floor. Can I be honest, in normal circumstances I’d run (for help that is—lol) at seeing something like this, but this time I couldn’t run. Not because I had no where to run, but because the strength in me is greater than my fear. Now I’m thinking about fight or flight---you know from psychology class. Anyway, with the phone still to my ear I started yelling……call an ambulance!!! I knew I had to fight. I dropped all of my stuff, pushed the guy next to me out of the way, and hopped over the seat to catch the lady. As I was picking her body up she was salivating everywhere. She was unconscious and looked as if she was slowly making her way into death.
With the packed bus of passengers all watching me, even the bus driver, I started pulling off the lady's sweater. Another guy fanned her, while another started opening up all the windows and doors. But out of a good 30 passengers or more, I was the ONLY one directly helping her. Everyone else was staring in shock. Maybe they just knew that she was in good hands. At that point I knew I was being used by God. I held the young lady and started praying silently. I rubbed her hair and told her to hold on cause help was coming. Then I realized [my friend] was still holding. I couldn’t talk to him. And for that moment……he wasn’t priority and was the farthest from my mind. But he understood and I’m sure he hung up praying. Cause he know God too---heehee.
Right before the ambulance pulled up, making a big scene, the young lady started gaining conscious. She didn’t understand what had happened or where she was, but just realized that she was lying in a stranger’s arms with dozens of passengers watching her. She was astonished, but speechless. The only thing we could get out of her was that she was 25 years old and a diabetic.
The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee; send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion; --Psalm 20:1-2
Ok, so I was on the train last night coming home from work when I received an “urgent” message from [my friend] to call as soon as I got off the train. Well, we ain’t gonna talk about his urgency, but I gave him my undivided attention as I walked out the station and up to the bus stop. I was tickled at what he was saying, but I was also beat. And the thought of my 9pm online class and cooking the steak that I took out for dinner was making me more exhausted.
Normally, I’d be the first at the bus stop waiting for the bus to pull up right in front of me. I like my regular seat that places me right by the back door. Makes it easier to drag my tired body and all my bags off. But last night was different. I stood on the side soaking up every bit of our conversation. And as the crowd grew thicker, the farther I moved away. Every other sentence I’d get the usual, “are you listening to me”. I giggled and apologized, but really I was listening to every word. So much so that when the bus arrived I was the last to get on.
So as I’m still listening and talking and making my way on the bus, I noticed that there were about two seats left in the front, one being my normal seat. But for some odd reason I felt the need to sit all the way in the back. Still with the phone to my ear and discreetly trying to talk, I took one of the last seats behind a young lady who in any other situation I wouldn’t have noticed.
About two minutes into the five-minute bus ride home, I noticed that the guy across from me was looking at the young lady in front of me rather strange. All of a sudden, the young lady passed out and started falling out of her seat to the floor. Can I be honest, in normal circumstances I’d run (for help that is—lol) at seeing something like this, but this time I couldn’t run. Not because I had no where to run, but because the strength in me is greater than my fear. Now I’m thinking about fight or flight---you know from psychology class. Anyway, with the phone still to my ear I started yelling……call an ambulance!!! I knew I had to fight. I dropped all of my stuff, pushed the guy next to me out of the way, and hopped over the seat to catch the lady. As I was picking her body up she was salivating everywhere. She was unconscious and looked as if she was slowly making her way into death.
With the packed bus of passengers all watching me, even the bus driver, I started pulling off the lady's sweater. Another guy fanned her, while another started opening up all the windows and doors. But out of a good 30 passengers or more, I was the ONLY one directly helping her. Everyone else was staring in shock. Maybe they just knew that she was in good hands. At that point I knew I was being used by God. I held the young lady and started praying silently. I rubbed her hair and told her to hold on cause help was coming. Then I realized [my friend] was still holding. I couldn’t talk to him. And for that moment……he wasn’t priority and was the farthest from my mind. But he understood and I’m sure he hung up praying. Cause he know God too---heehee.
Right before the ambulance pulled up, making a big scene, the young lady started gaining conscious. She didn’t understand what had happened or where she was, but just realized that she was lying in a stranger’s arms with dozens of passengers watching her. She was astonished, but speechless. The only thing we could get out of her was that she was 25 years old and a diabetic.
The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee; send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion; --Psalm 20:1-2
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
He Knocks
I want to fight, but can’t. And I won’t. Cause I know its time. Time that I come out of my comfort zone. All of my dreams and goals are unfolding before me and it’s a little scary. Almost like I want to run. Or block it. I now know what it means when I hear people say……get out of your way!!! I mean, my life is very comfortable. I have a comfortable home. I have a pretty stable job—I think. I mean, I love the program that I manage. I love my church. My family is good and happy. I’ve gotten my formal education out of the way. My little selfish goals are at a steady pace. I'm healthy--could lose some weight---but I'm HEALTHY, lol. I’ve been blessed with AWESOME friends. And I’m content in my current status. I live for Christ daily, rely on Him immensely, and have an eternal commitment to Him. Why disrupt that?
Because……because He’s calling me to go higher. To new levels. And the scary part is that I see the path. Or at least I feel it. I actually started walking on it a couple of weeks ago, but this week I opened my Spiritual eyes and said WOW!! And you know what’s funny, [my friend] told me last week that he feels great change is about to come for him. Ironically, as I am interceding for him, I feel the same for me. Umph.
Lord, I boldly say that I fully accept all that You are doing in my life and I commit to Your will totally. I know what You have called me to do is for Your purpose and glory, and I hear Your voice and open the door for you to have complete control.
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. –Revelation 3:20
Because……because He’s calling me to go higher. To new levels. And the scary part is that I see the path. Or at least I feel it. I actually started walking on it a couple of weeks ago, but this week I opened my Spiritual eyes and said WOW!! And you know what’s funny, [my friend] told me last week that he feels great change is about to come for him. Ironically, as I am interceding for him, I feel the same for me. Umph.
Lord, I boldly say that I fully accept all that You are doing in my life and I commit to Your will totally. I know what You have called me to do is for Your purpose and glory, and I hear Your voice and open the door for you to have complete control.
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. –Revelation 3:20
Sunday, October 12, 2008
At the Top
Sad to say, but I like these types of stories. Only because I love when God’s Word proves right.
So I caught the Glenn Beck show Friday night featuring one of my favorite celebrity couples……Rev. Run and his wife Justine. Is it just me……but there’s something about them that I love. They are definitely people of integrity and it is quite obvious that they not only love the Lord, but also show it in their characters.
So Rev. Run began the show by talking about how he had come to know Christ. He said that it was during the time when Run DMC was at the peak of their career. He said that he was actually in LA in the suite of a prestigious hotel sitting in the Jacuzzi tub. He said he was smoking weed with everybody from Rolling Stone magazine folk to girls knocking at his door. He said he was too big of a celebrity to answer. His celebrity could make them wait. But then he said that although he was at the top and living the life that many, many dream of…….he felt soooo incomplete. And empty. And so not really knowing God, he asked God to give him an escape. He told the Lord that He needed more cause his life with Run DMC wasn’t giving it to him.
So Run said that it started when he got back to New York. He went to one church service and it changed his life. He gave his life completely to the Lord. And as Justine added, that one service turned into going to church 3 times a week. They both said that they had an insatiable desire to know God and to seek His plan for their lives. And as God began to raise Run and his family up, slowly but surely Run DMC started falling down the charts. Run said that he KNEW God was doing it. And he KNEW that God wanted to use him for his glory.
So Run surrendered to the Lord, and God began to use Run's talents for his glory. So Run had this vision to do a reality show about his family called Run’s House. Originally ABC Family was going to do the show, but Run had a conversation with Diddy and he suggested that Run approach MTV (God can use ANYBODY). Well, Run knew that he wasn’t going to compromise. He knew that he would have a show that characterized he and his family’s true Christianity lifestyle, but knew also that that wasn’t the type of show MTV normally did. Many said it wouldn't work. But God. But God. But God. God knew what He was doing. Need I say more.
Oh my. Then there’s this new show called…..the Real Housewives of Atlanta. No comment---lol. But I will speak of one character that really stands out and that’s Deshawn Snow. Deshawn is a born-again Christian who loves the Lord. She boasts that she is living her dream: Married her college sweetheart who is an NBA star, three beautiful boys, a mcmansion equipped with a full-time staff not limited to a governess and a chef, amazing cars, exotic vacations on private jets, a wardrobe that the average female only wishes she could shop from, and several businesses including her own foundation. But yet. But yet Deshawn said she still felt empty. Below is an excerpt from Deshawn:
“After a recent trip to Israel, it hit me. I realized that I’d spent my life searching. Searching outside of myself for more things to have, for more things “to be,” for more recognition……and, while doing all that, I very nearly missed my life. I decided to take off my mask, even though it would hurt. I slowed down, stopped chasing “stuff,” and went after God. I realized that the life I had was NOT what HE paid the price for. I was born to be a blessing. Not by power, or by might, but by the Spirit. By humbling myself, God has and will continue to elevate me.”
Then there’s one of my personal favorites. This famous couple actually attends my church. He is a well-known and respected celebrity and his wife has made a name for herself in the community. I love them both. Always have. And when I found out that they were members of my church I had a new respect for them. See……when they’re at church they’re no celebrities. Many times I see her in a pair of jeans and a simple shirt, and her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail----in a scrunchy. When I see her she looks so free. And not unless you see her pulling up or off in her [luxury car] you’d never even think twice about who she is and what she does. I love watching her. Cause you can tell that she has found something that is real and lasting and fulfilling. Sometimes she stands in the front of the church and just cry out to the Lord. And other times you can see her waving her hands to heaven as the praise team sings. But watching her is just another reminder for me that the worldly things cannot touch, or is in no comparison to, a true relationship with the Lord.
And so I like these living examples. Actually I love these living examples. Cause it tells of folk who have reached the top only to realize that what they thought they wanted is just an illusion.
If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. --Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)
So I caught the Glenn Beck show Friday night featuring one of my favorite celebrity couples……Rev. Run and his wife Justine. Is it just me……but there’s something about them that I love. They are definitely people of integrity and it is quite obvious that they not only love the Lord, but also show it in their characters.
So Rev. Run began the show by talking about how he had come to know Christ. He said that it was during the time when Run DMC was at the peak of their career. He said that he was actually in LA in the suite of a prestigious hotel sitting in the Jacuzzi tub. He said he was smoking weed with everybody from Rolling Stone magazine folk to girls knocking at his door. He said he was too big of a celebrity to answer. His celebrity could make them wait. But then he said that although he was at the top and living the life that many, many dream of…….he felt soooo incomplete. And empty. And so not really knowing God, he asked God to give him an escape. He told the Lord that He needed more cause his life with Run DMC wasn’t giving it to him.
So Run said that it started when he got back to New York. He went to one church service and it changed his life. He gave his life completely to the Lord. And as Justine added, that one service turned into going to church 3 times a week. They both said that they had an insatiable desire to know God and to seek His plan for their lives. And as God began to raise Run and his family up, slowly but surely Run DMC started falling down the charts. Run said that he KNEW God was doing it. And he KNEW that God wanted to use him for his glory.
So Run surrendered to the Lord, and God began to use Run's talents for his glory. So Run had this vision to do a reality show about his family called Run’s House. Originally ABC Family was going to do the show, but Run had a conversation with Diddy and he suggested that Run approach MTV (God can use ANYBODY). Well, Run knew that he wasn’t going to compromise. He knew that he would have a show that characterized he and his family’s true Christianity lifestyle, but knew also that that wasn’t the type of show MTV normally did. Many said it wouldn't work. But God. But God. But God. God knew what He was doing. Need I say more.
Oh my. Then there’s this new show called…..the Real Housewives of Atlanta. No comment---lol. But I will speak of one character that really stands out and that’s Deshawn Snow. Deshawn is a born-again Christian who loves the Lord. She boasts that she is living her dream: Married her college sweetheart who is an NBA star, three beautiful boys, a mcmansion equipped with a full-time staff not limited to a governess and a chef, amazing cars, exotic vacations on private jets, a wardrobe that the average female only wishes she could shop from, and several businesses including her own foundation. But yet. But yet Deshawn said she still felt empty. Below is an excerpt from Deshawn:
“After a recent trip to Israel, it hit me. I realized that I’d spent my life searching. Searching outside of myself for more things to have, for more things “to be,” for more recognition……and, while doing all that, I very nearly missed my life. I decided to take off my mask, even though it would hurt. I slowed down, stopped chasing “stuff,” and went after God. I realized that the life I had was NOT what HE paid the price for. I was born to be a blessing. Not by power, or by might, but by the Spirit. By humbling myself, God has and will continue to elevate me.”
Then there’s one of my personal favorites. This famous couple actually attends my church. He is a well-known and respected celebrity and his wife has made a name for herself in the community. I love them both. Always have. And when I found out that they were members of my church I had a new respect for them. See……when they’re at church they’re no celebrities. Many times I see her in a pair of jeans and a simple shirt, and her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail----in a scrunchy. When I see her she looks so free. And not unless you see her pulling up or off in her [luxury car] you’d never even think twice about who she is and what she does. I love watching her. Cause you can tell that she has found something that is real and lasting and fulfilling. Sometimes she stands in the front of the church and just cry out to the Lord. And other times you can see her waving her hands to heaven as the praise team sings. But watching her is just another reminder for me that the worldly things cannot touch, or is in no comparison to, a true relationship with the Lord.
And so I like these living examples. Actually I love these living examples. Cause it tells of folk who have reached the top only to realize that what they thought they wanted is just an illusion.
If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. --Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)
She's Here!!!
Yes, yes……my niece is here. And she arrived two and a half weeks early. My family welcomed little miss Brianna Louise-Ann into our love early Saturday morning weighing in at 6lbs. 1oz. She caught her mommy and daddy completely off-guard. And the rest of us too. Good thing her shower was last week. One less thing for her mommy to think about. Can’t wait to kiss on her. After my cold. But I’m falling in love with her just looking at my phone. She's absolutely beautiful. Wow, first niece in eight years. Oooooh, I can't wait.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Just a Thought.....
Ok, I had that thought again. Yep, sure did. Had it last night.
I was actually listening to one of my favorite songs, Still Say Thank You by Smokie Norful, and got caught up. You know how I do. Started boohooing and feeling like I was outside of my body. Like my body was in the way and so I just let go and released and allowed the words to minister to me. Just caught up. I’d like to call it making love with God because its so beyond the physical. It’s pure intimacy. Umph. I get chills thinking about it. And I don’t actually need to hear a song to be in His presence, but it’s something about a song that says Thank You that sends me over. Other than I Love You……Thank You is my favorite expression.
So as I’m listening to the song’s lyrics:
I’ve had sickness and I’ve had pain
My heart has been broken and my life has seen strained
I’ve been up and I’ve been down, had my life turned completely around
But in spite of everything I’ve been through I still gotta say thank you.
Then I got to the part of the song that says:
………I gotta look to heaven and say thank you, Lord I thank you.
And then I had the thought.
I actually had this conversation with my mother a couple of months ago. I simply asked her…...how many Christians do you think really believe that there is a heaven (or life after death). To be frank, this thought comes in my mind a lot. Not in terms of who out there believes, but if I truly believe. And I really do. And that’s how I have set my life up (or how God has set my life up--scuse me). My destiny is fine, but I’m more concerned with my destination. I cannot get so caught up in trying to find myself, or my destiny, that I lose purpose. Everything that we are commissioned to do here on this earth is in preparation for eternal life. And I’m afraid that some of us don’t quite understand that.
You know…..I’ve said this before. This self-empowerment, motivational, social-club, watered-down version of Christianity is leading God’s people to doom. Don’t misunderstand me, the everyday life messages are okay and yes we do need them to maintain on this earth, but when do we come to the point where we say…..ok, I’ve been “fixed” enough now no more focus on me, but on Jesus and what He’s called me to do so let me cancel my Bahamas trip with the girls and book a mission trip to Guatemala to spread the Gospel of eternal life. Or whatever He’s called. When do we get to that point? Or will we?
If we’d just take a look at the past seven years of national and world events, and then hone in on the last year, and then focus on the last month we’d get the revelation. Can I stress this again……God can and will use ANYBODY to get His message across. I was listening to a discussion on the Michael Baisden Show a few weeks ago (just passing through the channels I assure you—lol), but he said something so profound. Because of this election’s front runner the most unlikely person’s ears and eyes are opened more than in any other election. I truly believe this is for a reason. I now know that its not about who is the most experienced or who would do the best job, but about who will draw the most attention and wake the world up. If it wasn’t for this front runner being in place and obedient this whole issue on the economy and world affairs would be floating right over us. You know US---the ones who are supposed to be the "true" Christians. We’d take the hit as we’ve been doing and go on with our self-issues as normal. We may say a prayer or two, but our division is greater than our unity and so we’d continue on existing in our separate worlds. But, again, I firmly believe that the front runner is in place so that we can open our eyes. And I now see the revelation is soooo evident.
I remember back in the late 70s and early 80s our church would have these movie nights where the youth would watch three of the most life-changing films ever made in my opinion: The Burning Hell, the Mark of the Beast, and Left Behind. And all of those films told of events that are coming to pass TODAY. We've seem to lost focus on our reasons for living Christian lives. And so even as I type, the thought is becoming louder.
Do Christians really believe that heaven is real?
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. --Revelation 21:5-7
I was actually listening to one of my favorite songs, Still Say Thank You by Smokie Norful, and got caught up. You know how I do. Started boohooing and feeling like I was outside of my body. Like my body was in the way and so I just let go and released and allowed the words to minister to me. Just caught up. I’d like to call it making love with God because its so beyond the physical. It’s pure intimacy. Umph. I get chills thinking about it. And I don’t actually need to hear a song to be in His presence, but it’s something about a song that says Thank You that sends me over. Other than I Love You……Thank You is my favorite expression.
So as I’m listening to the song’s lyrics:
I’ve had sickness and I’ve had pain
My heart has been broken and my life has seen strained
I’ve been up and I’ve been down, had my life turned completely around
But in spite of everything I’ve been through I still gotta say thank you.
Then I got to the part of the song that says:
………I gotta look to heaven and say thank you, Lord I thank you.
And then I had the thought.
I actually had this conversation with my mother a couple of months ago. I simply asked her…...how many Christians do you think really believe that there is a heaven (or life after death). To be frank, this thought comes in my mind a lot. Not in terms of who out there believes, but if I truly believe. And I really do. And that’s how I have set my life up (or how God has set my life up--scuse me). My destiny is fine, but I’m more concerned with my destination. I cannot get so caught up in trying to find myself, or my destiny, that I lose purpose. Everything that we are commissioned to do here on this earth is in preparation for eternal life. And I’m afraid that some of us don’t quite understand that.
You know…..I’ve said this before. This self-empowerment, motivational, social-club, watered-down version of Christianity is leading God’s people to doom. Don’t misunderstand me, the everyday life messages are okay and yes we do need them to maintain on this earth, but when do we come to the point where we say…..ok, I’ve been “fixed” enough now no more focus on me, but on Jesus and what He’s called me to do so let me cancel my Bahamas trip with the girls and book a mission trip to Guatemala to spread the Gospel of eternal life. Or whatever He’s called. When do we get to that point? Or will we?
If we’d just take a look at the past seven years of national and world events, and then hone in on the last year, and then focus on the last month we’d get the revelation. Can I stress this again……God can and will use ANYBODY to get His message across. I was listening to a discussion on the Michael Baisden Show a few weeks ago (just passing through the channels I assure you—lol), but he said something so profound. Because of this election’s front runner the most unlikely person’s ears and eyes are opened more than in any other election. I truly believe this is for a reason. I now know that its not about who is the most experienced or who would do the best job, but about who will draw the most attention and wake the world up. If it wasn’t for this front runner being in place and obedient this whole issue on the economy and world affairs would be floating right over us. You know US---the ones who are supposed to be the "true" Christians. We’d take the hit as we’ve been doing and go on with our self-issues as normal. We may say a prayer or two, but our division is greater than our unity and so we’d continue on existing in our separate worlds. But, again, I firmly believe that the front runner is in place so that we can open our eyes. And I now see the revelation is soooo evident.
I remember back in the late 70s and early 80s our church would have these movie nights where the youth would watch three of the most life-changing films ever made in my opinion: The Burning Hell, the Mark of the Beast, and Left Behind. And all of those films told of events that are coming to pass TODAY. We've seem to lost focus on our reasons for living Christian lives. And so even as I type, the thought is becoming louder.
Do Christians really believe that heaven is real?
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. --Revelation 21:5-7
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Too Good to be True
I have a confession to make. Sometimes I’m a doubter. And I ain’t proud about it.
I’ve had this “illness” for some time now. Ok, all my life. But it wasn’t until recently that I examined myself and put myself in check. No, I take that back. The Holy Spirit convicted me.
So, my family is planning this Thanksgiving trip to Deep Creek. And for the last few weeks we have been searching diligently for the “perfect” house to rent. Last week as I was scrolling through the inventory my heart was breaking because all the “perfect” 8 bedroom houses, with indoor pools, multi-fire places, nestled on top of the best slope were all booked. But then………
There was this PERFECTOUS house. All the amenities that my family requires, and it was AVAILABLE!!! And the price…….a couple hundred bucks less than what we budgeted for. And it was available. And it was available. And it was available. And what do I do……find fault in no fault just because it was available. I mean, why ain’t nobody interested in this “perfect” house, I kept thinking. Something must be wrong with it.
I think like this all the time. I know, I know. I’m working on it—lolol!!! I mean, if I go to the store and find the last pair of shoes in my size marked down, I more than likely won’t buy them. Cause I automatically think something is wrong with them. Like somebody wore them and returned them.
And we ain’t gonna talk about a good man. I mean, why is this “good man” single, is always my thought. Oh, wait a minute. On that example…….I ain’t no fool—lolol. Sometimes I fight my doubt and win. But for the most part.......... I mean, don’t let a waiter tell me that I lucked up cause they have “one more” serving of an entrée left. No thank you.
I’ve developed this “rejection” attitude over the years and have rejected so many, many things. And it wasn’t until the last “perfect” house in Deep Creek was eventually booked by another family that I realized what I’m doing. I’m simply blocking my blessings. I mean, could it be that the Lord saved the best just for me. Yes, it certainly could be. And I ain’t missing out on another opened door.
For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. --Mark 11:23
I’ve had this “illness” for some time now. Ok, all my life. But it wasn’t until recently that I examined myself and put myself in check. No, I take that back. The Holy Spirit convicted me.
So, my family is planning this Thanksgiving trip to Deep Creek. And for the last few weeks we have been searching diligently for the “perfect” house to rent. Last week as I was scrolling through the inventory my heart was breaking because all the “perfect” 8 bedroom houses, with indoor pools, multi-fire places, nestled on top of the best slope were all booked. But then………
There was this PERFECTOUS house. All the amenities that my family requires, and it was AVAILABLE!!! And the price…….a couple hundred bucks less than what we budgeted for. And it was available. And it was available. And it was available. And what do I do……find fault in no fault just because it was available. I mean, why ain’t nobody interested in this “perfect” house, I kept thinking. Something must be wrong with it.
I think like this all the time. I know, I know. I’m working on it—lolol!!! I mean, if I go to the store and find the last pair of shoes in my size marked down, I more than likely won’t buy them. Cause I automatically think something is wrong with them. Like somebody wore them and returned them.
And we ain’t gonna talk about a good man. I mean, why is this “good man” single, is always my thought. Oh, wait a minute. On that example…….I ain’t no fool—lolol. Sometimes I fight my doubt and win. But for the most part.......... I mean, don’t let a waiter tell me that I lucked up cause they have “one more” serving of an entrée left. No thank you.
I’ve developed this “rejection” attitude over the years and have rejected so many, many things. And it wasn’t until the last “perfect” house in Deep Creek was eventually booked by another family that I realized what I’m doing. I’m simply blocking my blessings. I mean, could it be that the Lord saved the best just for me. Yes, it certainly could be. And I ain’t missing out on another opened door.
For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. --Mark 11:23
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The Power of Prayer
Umph! I love being filled with the Holy Spirit. And I love the way the Spirit moves not just in my life, but in the Body of Christ.
Yes, yes…..today is Bill Winston Wednesday. But I gotta be honest, I didn’t grasp too much of the message cause I was trying to look for a pair of black socks that I know I took out of my sock drawer just a few days ago. I was going crazy looking all over for them. I did, however, catch the foundational scripture. BW spoke from the Book of Daniel and how Daniel and the Hebrew boys had more knowledge than the “educated” ones. Ironically, my pastor is on a message series entitled Upstream and the foundational scripture is from Daniel. AND, I was reading a chapter in my book this morning, The Beginner’s Guide to Intercessory Prayer, and it referenced the story of Daniel……..again. So the Holy Spirit is alive and working on this earth!!!!
Ok, can I just say that prayer works!!! There are several situations in my life that I’ve been praying diligently for over the last few months and just in the last couple of days I am seeing my prayers answered and unfolding right before my eyes. It’s almost scary!!! So you know me, I’ve been trying to analyze the difference in my prayers now than before cause “intellectually” it doesn’t make sense that all of a sudden I’m seeing breakthrough. But my little book on prayer is helping to clarify some things concerning my prayer life.
So my biggest question is, "Why Are Some of My Prayers Delayed?" And this is what my little book said……prayers can be delayed for a number of reasons, but basically it is due to:
1. God’s perfect timing.
2. God teaching truths and building our characters during the waiting time in ways that no other process could accomplish.
3. God is to working in others who may be part of the answer.
4. When our intercession is releasing the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome the powers of darkness, this often takes time. Basically warfare.
Ok, can I be honest, my “intellectual” response to the above is…… can’t God adjust the time to be perfect for my situation, can’t God answer my prayer while building my character, can’t God give me what I want and make the others adjust accordingly, and finally can’t God knock satan out so that he doesn’t block my prayer requests. I mean, can’t God do all of this immediately for MY happiness. That’s what my mind is thinking. But the truth of the matter is that I know God wants my prayers. And He wants to see if I’m faithful. And He wants to know that I trust Him to deliver. And each day in my journey I am learning this. God wants to hear from me. He yearns to hear my voice through prayer. Cause when I pray I release authority to allow Him to move. And moving on my behalf is what He's doing!!
But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law.... --Galatians 4:4
Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia. --Daniel 10:12-13
Yes, yes…..today is Bill Winston Wednesday. But I gotta be honest, I didn’t grasp too much of the message cause I was trying to look for a pair of black socks that I know I took out of my sock drawer just a few days ago. I was going crazy looking all over for them. I did, however, catch the foundational scripture. BW spoke from the Book of Daniel and how Daniel and the Hebrew boys had more knowledge than the “educated” ones. Ironically, my pastor is on a message series entitled Upstream and the foundational scripture is from Daniel. AND, I was reading a chapter in my book this morning, The Beginner’s Guide to Intercessory Prayer, and it referenced the story of Daniel……..again. So the Holy Spirit is alive and working on this earth!!!!
Ok, can I just say that prayer works!!! There are several situations in my life that I’ve been praying diligently for over the last few months and just in the last couple of days I am seeing my prayers answered and unfolding right before my eyes. It’s almost scary!!! So you know me, I’ve been trying to analyze the difference in my prayers now than before cause “intellectually” it doesn’t make sense that all of a sudden I’m seeing breakthrough. But my little book on prayer is helping to clarify some things concerning my prayer life.
So my biggest question is, "Why Are Some of My Prayers Delayed?" And this is what my little book said……prayers can be delayed for a number of reasons, but basically it is due to:
1. God’s perfect timing.
2. God teaching truths and building our characters during the waiting time in ways that no other process could accomplish.
3. God is to working in others who may be part of the answer.
4. When our intercession is releasing the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome the powers of darkness, this often takes time. Basically warfare.
Ok, can I be honest, my “intellectual” response to the above is…… can’t God adjust the time to be perfect for my situation, can’t God answer my prayer while building my character, can’t God give me what I want and make the others adjust accordingly, and finally can’t God knock satan out so that he doesn’t block my prayer requests. I mean, can’t God do all of this immediately for MY happiness. That’s what my mind is thinking. But the truth of the matter is that I know God wants my prayers. And He wants to see if I’m faithful. And He wants to know that I trust Him to deliver. And each day in my journey I am learning this. God wants to hear from me. He yearns to hear my voice through prayer. Cause when I pray I release authority to allow Him to move. And moving on my behalf is what He's doing!!
But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law.... --Galatians 4:4
Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia. --Daniel 10:12-13
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Supper Time
What a weekend!! I tell you, I am transitioning more and more into [my friend’s] ways. Ok, Hun you are right!
So I was up at 6:45a this morning---lolol. I still can’t believe that I was up that early especially since yesterday was “family” day and I got in pretty late. I had a reading assignment to do and so I did that before crashing at about 1:00a. But I woke up all “bright eyed and bushy tailed” and so I decided to go to the 9:00a service.
After I did that I had so much energy that I went to the gym and did 2 hours of cardio. I’d like to think that this is a regular and I‘m just fit like that, but since I ate my heart out yesterday including, BUT NOT LIMITED TO……barbecue and fried wings, meatballs, pasta salad, yellow rice.....(too much food to name), I decided to work it off. Oh, and I had a nice big piece of baby shower cake. Oh, and earlier yesterday I had a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. And a sweet tea.
So today was communion Sunday. Ok, can I be frank. I was brought up in the church and so a lot of spiritual practices that took place I did second nature. You know….I knew how to play church. So things like taking communion was a part of the play. I mean, I did it without a thought. And I’m sure we were taught the meaning and all, but evidently I wasn’t listening. When we moved to Maryland our new church made a big deal out of communion Sunday, and although we fell right in with the praise and worship, and understanding that this is what Christians do, I still didn’t take it all that seriously. I mean, the church I grew up in here in Maryland we would have real wine and fresh loaves of bread, and so when the plate came around it was supper time!!
But one communion Sunday my ears and eyes perked up. When the communion plate was being passed around, two of my childhood girlfriends (they’re sisters) didn’t partake in it. I was confused. My thought was……..they weren’t taking Christ seriously. I feared not doing activities that concerned Christ even though I didn‘t fully understand. But then a few weeks later when they were at my house they told me that the reason they didn’t take communion that particular Sunday was because they had had a fight and was still holding hostility amongst one another and their mom told them if they didn’t forgive then they couldn’t take communion. That was the first thing that piqued my interest about communion.
Then one day me and my sisters had visited a church and we had put my niece and nephew in the children’s church. After church my nephew (he was 6 or 7 then) said, “mommy what is community?” It took us forever to figure out what he was saying. But then he told us that the teacher gave them wine and bread (well you know....grape juice). My sister was furious. She was furious because she felt that allowing a child to participate in communion should be up to the parent. But then my nephew said….. “well, the teacher asked us if we believed in our heart and if we were holding anything bad in our hearts, and I wasn’t so I did it.” I mean, to be honest…..I couldn’t understand why my sister was upset. That was well over ten years ago.
But today. Today, today. Oh, in this day. Over the years I’ve learned. Communion is a powerful Christian practice. And just taking it haphazardly and without fully understanding what it means to participate in the Lord’s supper can have an impact.
But today, I felt it the strongest that I’ve ever felt it. As the praise team sang, Oh the Blood, and as I broke my piece of bread and drank my wine I felt new life pouring into me. I thought about Christ and how His blood shed for me and how His body was broken, and I lost it. Tears were everywhere. I just went into praise just thinking about God’s goodness and how He laid on that cross and was bruised.......for my mess.
The funny thing is that last night my family drove me crazy trying to finalize plans for our Thanksgiving family trip. Planning a last minute trip with my family is not an easy task. Ok, planning any trip with my family even if its a year's notice is not easy. It's so many of us to accommodate. And everybody wants their way. I was so frustrated that I screamed on my cousin and said…. “cancel the trip cause I’m stressed out about this.” But before midnight it was resolved. And everybody was happy. And I prayed about it and asked the Lord for peace and forgiveness. And I know had I not done that I would have blocked Christ moving in my life this morning. Ok, I probably wouldn’t have even taken communion. Ok, I probably wouldn’t have even gone to church. God is an AWESOME God!!!
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. --John 6:53-53
For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.
So I was up at 6:45a this morning---lolol. I still can’t believe that I was up that early especially since yesterday was “family” day and I got in pretty late. I had a reading assignment to do and so I did that before crashing at about 1:00a. But I woke up all “bright eyed and bushy tailed” and so I decided to go to the 9:00a service.
After I did that I had so much energy that I went to the gym and did 2 hours of cardio. I’d like to think that this is a regular and I‘m just fit like that, but since I ate my heart out yesterday including, BUT NOT LIMITED TO……barbecue and fried wings, meatballs, pasta salad, yellow rice.....(too much food to name), I decided to work it off. Oh, and I had a nice big piece of baby shower cake. Oh, and earlier yesterday I had a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. And a sweet tea.
So today was communion Sunday. Ok, can I be frank. I was brought up in the church and so a lot of spiritual practices that took place I did second nature. You know….I knew how to play church. So things like taking communion was a part of the play. I mean, I did it without a thought. And I’m sure we were taught the meaning and all, but evidently I wasn’t listening. When we moved to Maryland our new church made a big deal out of communion Sunday, and although we fell right in with the praise and worship, and understanding that this is what Christians do, I still didn’t take it all that seriously. I mean, the church I grew up in here in Maryland we would have real wine and fresh loaves of bread, and so when the plate came around it was supper time!!
But one communion Sunday my ears and eyes perked up. When the communion plate was being passed around, two of my childhood girlfriends (they’re sisters) didn’t partake in it. I was confused. My thought was……..they weren’t taking Christ seriously. I feared not doing activities that concerned Christ even though I didn‘t fully understand. But then a few weeks later when they were at my house they told me that the reason they didn’t take communion that particular Sunday was because they had had a fight and was still holding hostility amongst one another and their mom told them if they didn’t forgive then they couldn’t take communion. That was the first thing that piqued my interest about communion.
Then one day me and my sisters had visited a church and we had put my niece and nephew in the children’s church. After church my nephew (he was 6 or 7 then) said, “mommy what is community?” It took us forever to figure out what he was saying. But then he told us that the teacher gave them wine and bread (well you know....grape juice). My sister was furious. She was furious because she felt that allowing a child to participate in communion should be up to the parent. But then my nephew said….. “well, the teacher asked us if we believed in our heart and if we were holding anything bad in our hearts, and I wasn’t so I did it.” I mean, to be honest…..I couldn’t understand why my sister was upset. That was well over ten years ago.
But today. Today, today. Oh, in this day. Over the years I’ve learned. Communion is a powerful Christian practice. And just taking it haphazardly and without fully understanding what it means to participate in the Lord’s supper can have an impact.
But today, I felt it the strongest that I’ve ever felt it. As the praise team sang, Oh the Blood, and as I broke my piece of bread and drank my wine I felt new life pouring into me. I thought about Christ and how His blood shed for me and how His body was broken, and I lost it. Tears were everywhere. I just went into praise just thinking about God’s goodness and how He laid on that cross and was bruised.......for my mess.
The funny thing is that last night my family drove me crazy trying to finalize plans for our Thanksgiving family trip. Planning a last minute trip with my family is not an easy task. Ok, planning any trip with my family even if its a year's notice is not easy. It's so many of us to accommodate. And everybody wants their way. I was so frustrated that I screamed on my cousin and said…. “cancel the trip cause I’m stressed out about this.” But before midnight it was resolved. And everybody was happy. And I prayed about it and asked the Lord for peace and forgiveness. And I know had I not done that I would have blocked Christ moving in my life this morning. Ok, I probably wouldn’t have even taken communion. Ok, I probably wouldn’t have even gone to church. God is an AWESOME God!!!
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. --John 6:53-53
For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Embracing Change
Ok, I am definitely one of those folks who embraces change. I mean, to me its growth. And I luuuv growing. I get bored easily so I look forward to change. I remember one of my girlfriends saying......what in the world would I do with the same husband for 40 years? When she said it I had to seriously think about it. I mean, I was thinking about her rhetorical question for years. Like.......you mean the SAME man???? Just a change in his age and weight. I couldn't shake it. But seriously I love change and that's why I love living in Maryland---if for no other reason than for the full change of seasons. And that's why I'm surprised that I've been on the same job, not position, for almost 7 years. I'm constantly changing. Cause I don't like the feeling of the same ole, same ole.
Anyway........so my love for change was tested today. Thanks to my big dutta (sister) I am the proud owner of a new Red Blackberry Curve 8330. Yes, yes.........her bought it for me cause I've been talking bout it for a few months, but it wasn't in my budget :-(((. She called me at work on Tuesday and said.......you still want that Curve? I know my sister's questions and so I started jumping up and down at my desk. But I mean hey...since she is a few steps away from being a millionaire then why the heck not. I mean, she could afford to treat at least one of her sisters to a little luxury. And what sister deserves it more :-). But its between me and her, nobody else but us.
So today I recevied my package. And while I was in the process of activating my new phone, I realized that Sprint had already deactivated my old phone.......the Blackberry 7130. I almost cried. Why, I don't really know. It was really time for a new phone. But I mean, I've had my little 7130 for close to three years and have relied on it so much. And even though the wheel turns on its on time and in its own direction ignoring my requests, I love my 7130. So I need a moment (sob......sob......sob......sob.......sob.......sob.....sob......silence....................................).
Ok, I'm better now. So, my new toy is fully charged and I see the envelope illuminating with a 5 next to it. My loved ones wasting no time. Oh yeah, its pre-debate discussion time. But they can wait cause I gotta purge a few contacts from the 7130. Yes, yes....if I'm embracing change not everybody can embrace it with me. Cause not everybody is ready.
Wow....can't believe this phone does all of this. The 7130 didn't do that. Or that. Or that. Umph. I think I'ma like this phone. There's no way I could have stayed in 7130 mode.
Anyway........so my love for change was tested today. Thanks to my big dutta (sister) I am the proud owner of a new Red Blackberry Curve 8330. Yes, yes.........her bought it for me cause I've been talking bout it for a few months, but it wasn't in my budget :-(((. She called me at work on Tuesday and said.......you still want that Curve? I know my sister's questions and so I started jumping up and down at my desk. But I mean hey...since she is a few steps away from being a millionaire then why the heck not. I mean, she could afford to treat at least one of her sisters to a little luxury. And what sister deserves it more :-). But its between me and her, nobody else but us.
So today I recevied my package. And while I was in the process of activating my new phone, I realized that Sprint had already deactivated my old phone.......the Blackberry 7130. I almost cried. Why, I don't really know. It was really time for a new phone. But I mean, I've had my little 7130 for close to three years and have relied on it so much. And even though the wheel turns on its on time and in its own direction ignoring my requests, I love my 7130. So I need a moment (sob......sob......sob......sob.......sob.......sob.....sob......silence....................................).
Ok, I'm better now. So, my new toy is fully charged and I see the envelope illuminating with a 5 next to it. My loved ones wasting no time. Oh yeah, its pre-debate discussion time. But they can wait cause I gotta purge a few contacts from the 7130. Yes, yes....if I'm embracing change not everybody can embrace it with me. Cause not everybody is ready.
Wow....can't believe this phone does all of this. The 7130 didn't do that. Or that. Or that. Umph. I think I'ma like this phone. There's no way I could have stayed in 7130 mode.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I Understand
I clearly understand. And am gaining understanding daily on what it means to not lean on my own understanding but totally on God’s Word. Understand?
Ok, well let me give it to ya like this. The other morning I was listening to……..ok you know how I do in the mornings---scan the channels for a good ministry til I find one that catches my ears. And you know how cable does…..switch up on you. So I really don’t know who I was listening to, but it was a young minister who broke down what it really means to trust God and not on our own intellect, reasoning.
The minister basically said that when we’re going through a situation and trying to find answers a lot of times we resolve with a thought or response that makes sense to our intellect, like “let it go”. But more than likely what we’re doing is leaning on our own logic and not fully trusting God. And he went on to say, a lot of us end up forfeiting God’s blessings because we take matters in our own hands that we are having trouble trying to figure out. But if we would just trust God and lean on His Word and stay focused on Him then we will have favor and be at peace.
FOR INSTANCE……..
I have a girlfriend who has a friend, another female, who to my intellect does not have my girlfriend’s best interest at heart. My girlfriend has been friends with this young lady for many years. And anything this “friend” asks my girlfriend for she bends over backwards to do. A couple of years ago, my girlfriend was getting married and all of her girlfriends were involved with the wedding activities. Well, at my girlfriend’s bridal shower, me and another girlfriend overheard the “friend” talking negatively about my girlfriend when she left the room. I was livid. But because it was my girlfriend’s special day I decided not to mention the situation to her until everything was over. In fact, when I did mention it about a year or so later I only did so because my girlfriend was telling me about another situation that involved her friend.
So for a long time, I assumed that my girlfriend either owed her friend something or perhaps there was a co-dependency type of thing going on since their friendship started as college roommates. But my girlfriend is very independent and even though she’s now married she knows how to juggle all of her loved ones accordingly---that is putting her marriage first. So she couldn’t be co-dependent on this girl. This friendship thing was racking a couple of our brains. Soooo, when the opportunity presented itself I asked my girlfriend straight….why are you friends with such and such? I mean, I’m the type of person that thinks a friend can either make you or break you and if there is ANY sign of negativity then I’m walking away. I guess basically you can call that a quitter. OK……I’M WORKING ON IT---lololol.
But anyway….. so I explained this to my girlfriend---you know gave her MY OPINION. And she responded….Jill, first I am a loyal friend to all of my friends. But second, if I stopped to think about why I am friends with ANYBODY I would drive myself crazy. The true answer to why I am friends with such and such is…I really don’t know why. And I never even took the time to think about it. Just like with my husband....God brought him into my life and eight years later he popped the question. To others it should have been after the first two years of us dating but hey…it didn’t quite happen that way and to be honest I’m glad we did wait. But as far as my friend, even my husband says that he doesn’t think she is a true friend and even though I too value his opinion I don’t feel led to drop the friendship. But the bottomline is that she doesn’t make me or break me, and so I don’t put much thought into what I think she should or shouldn’t do as a friend. She’s my friend.
At that point, after reading my girlfriend’s “perky” email I’m thinking how naive this girl still is after all these years. I mean, how could a person constantly treat someone negatively and call herself “a friend”. But then I was reminded of the Fruits of the Spirit----love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And then I thought about my girlfriend---she possesses all of the fruits in her daily walk. And then I thought about what it really meant to love someone. And as I thought about it then…..I’m thinking about it now.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. --1 Corinthians 13:4-10
[Previous text was deleted. I misinterpreted the above scripture. I guess I was leaning on my own understanding--lololol].
Wow!!! Now I’m thinking about the Garden of Eden when Adam bit the fruit and gained knowledge……..Wow!!!!! Reasoning, logic, and self-knowledge are powerful things. But so is love.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. --Proverbs 3:3-6
Ok, well let me give it to ya like this. The other morning I was listening to……..ok you know how I do in the mornings---scan the channels for a good ministry til I find one that catches my ears. And you know how cable does…..switch up on you. So I really don’t know who I was listening to, but it was a young minister who broke down what it really means to trust God and not on our own intellect, reasoning.
The minister basically said that when we’re going through a situation and trying to find answers a lot of times we resolve with a thought or response that makes sense to our intellect, like “let it go”. But more than likely what we’re doing is leaning on our own logic and not fully trusting God. And he went on to say, a lot of us end up forfeiting God’s blessings because we take matters in our own hands that we are having trouble trying to figure out. But if we would just trust God and lean on His Word and stay focused on Him then we will have favor and be at peace.
FOR INSTANCE……..
I have a girlfriend who has a friend, another female, who to my intellect does not have my girlfriend’s best interest at heart. My girlfriend has been friends with this young lady for many years. And anything this “friend” asks my girlfriend for she bends over backwards to do. A couple of years ago, my girlfriend was getting married and all of her girlfriends were involved with the wedding activities. Well, at my girlfriend’s bridal shower, me and another girlfriend overheard the “friend” talking negatively about my girlfriend when she left the room. I was livid. But because it was my girlfriend’s special day I decided not to mention the situation to her until everything was over. In fact, when I did mention it about a year or so later I only did so because my girlfriend was telling me about another situation that involved her friend.
So for a long time, I assumed that my girlfriend either owed her friend something or perhaps there was a co-dependency type of thing going on since their friendship started as college roommates. But my girlfriend is very independent and even though she’s now married she knows how to juggle all of her loved ones accordingly---that is putting her marriage first. So she couldn’t be co-dependent on this girl. This friendship thing was racking a couple of our brains. Soooo, when the opportunity presented itself I asked my girlfriend straight….why are you friends with such and such? I mean, I’m the type of person that thinks a friend can either make you or break you and if there is ANY sign of negativity then I’m walking away. I guess basically you can call that a quitter. OK……I’M WORKING ON IT---lololol.
But anyway….. so I explained this to my girlfriend---you know gave her MY OPINION. And she responded….Jill, first I am a loyal friend to all of my friends. But second, if I stopped to think about why I am friends with ANYBODY I would drive myself crazy. The true answer to why I am friends with such and such is…I really don’t know why. And I never even took the time to think about it. Just like with my husband....God brought him into my life and eight years later he popped the question. To others it should have been after the first two years of us dating but hey…it didn’t quite happen that way and to be honest I’m glad we did wait. But as far as my friend, even my husband says that he doesn’t think she is a true friend and even though I too value his opinion I don’t feel led to drop the friendship. But the bottomline is that she doesn’t make me or break me, and so I don’t put much thought into what I think she should or shouldn’t do as a friend. She’s my friend.
At that point, after reading my girlfriend’s “perky” email I’m thinking how naive this girl still is after all these years. I mean, how could a person constantly treat someone negatively and call herself “a friend”. But then I was reminded of the Fruits of the Spirit----love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And then I thought about my girlfriend---she possesses all of the fruits in her daily walk. And then I thought about what it really meant to love someone. And as I thought about it then…..I’m thinking about it now.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. --1 Corinthians 13:4-10
[Previous text was deleted. I misinterpreted the above scripture. I guess I was leaning on my own understanding--lololol].
Wow!!! Now I’m thinking about the Garden of Eden when Adam bit the fruit and gained knowledge……..Wow!!!!! Reasoning, logic, and self-knowledge are powerful things. But so is love.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. --Proverbs 3:3-6
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