Crossing Over

Awww man. So much is going through my head. This week alone has brought so much to the forefront for me. I think it started a couple of weeks ago though. At least coming to the forefront.

I was in prayer and so I’m learning that after I pray I need to remain still and listen to God speak. To hear Him respond to my worship. Normally, I listen to the Lord’s voice by revelations in so many other ways like through His Word, prophecies, signs and wonders, people, feelings in my Spirit, etc. But rarely do I sit still to listen to His voice. Well, this particular night that I was praying I did just that. I laid real quiet in my bedroom in the dark not making one sound, shutting all outside noise out so that I could meditate on Him and listen to Him speak. After a few minutes I heard Him. And I was a little shocked at what He said. What He told me was that the project I’ve been working on, in which I firmly believe it is to glorify the kingdom of God, He told me to hold off on it. At first I was confused because when I tell you that I‘ve been working diligently on this project you‘ve got to believe me. I mean daily a piece of the project comes together. But I am obedient so I stopped as instructed.

Not necessarily confused, but for the last few weeks I’ve been wondering why would the Lord have me halt a project that I firmly believe He told me to do. But then I remembered what His voice spoke to me and what He actually said was to “hold off“, not stop the project for good. So you know me……I’ve been in expecting mode cause surely if the Lord gave me orders it was because He is preparing me for something greater.

So just like clockwork……the Lord’s timing is impeccable. Last week a “proposal” came through that has the potential of fulfilling my lifelong dream. The funny thing is that the “proposal” is the big picture, the umbrella. And the project in which the Lord told me to hold off on could easily fit under this umbrella. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it…it was necessary for me to do the framework of the smaller project because now the bigger project will kinda fall into purpose. In other words, the smaller project drives the bigger project.

Since thinking about this proposal…..day in and day out, doors have been flying open. And it really feels good in my Spirit in which I rely on to make ALL of my life decisions. This week alone, opportunities aligning with the proposal have come to me. But something is weird. I can’t say that its fear, but almost like a “I am comfortable in the state I am” type of feeling.

The funny thing is that all week I’ve been hearing messages about getting to where God would have us to be. Joyce Meyer spoke about the “in between”. That dry land in which the Lord opened the sea so that he could take the Israelites from the pit to the promised land. It’s that stepping out on faith message that I talk a good game about but when its my time to take action I come up with excuses. Not that I don’t want to get to where God wants me, but the process ain’t always peaches and cream--lol.

So last night I went to see Mint Condition in concert at the Baltimore Harbor, me and my youngest sister. I love those boys because in addition to being authentic musicians their music speaks about being faithful men to, and loving, their partners. I’ve always supported these guys cause they’re truly fulfilling their calling. Anyway…..when the show was almost over they gave their testimony of how a couple of years ago their record company dropped them from the label and how the execs basically told them that without a record deal it would be impossible for them to publicize their music. First, its not secret especially with all the hoopla going on with the Black radio. But if you don’t have the right connections you can’t get your music played. And second, to promote music it takes money and usually it’s the record companies who promote the artists.

But Stokley and the boyz weren’t convinced. They knew/know the gift and talent in which the Lord gave them. And if the Lord brought them to it He will sure bring them through it. Long story short, they stepped out on faith by creating their own independent record label and have been flying high ever since. They said it was the best and most liberating move they could have made.

Ironically, as I’m sitting at the concert taking in all of what they’d said while enjoying their music, the lady who was sitting next to me begins chatting. Actually we had been chatting all night. And so the conversation was really good and she even was conversing with my sister. But then she hands us her business card. And when I read it I got chills. It was confirmation. To step out. To just STEP out.

Of course the concert was on my mind all night. And so my girlfriend called to see how it was. As we were talking about music, life, and other stuff she made a statement in which I say mentally all the time. She said that she’s just basically trying to stay afloat. Normally I’d agreed, but this morning I couldn’t. Cause I think I’m tired of just floating. I thought about my girlfriend's comment all day long. Then I came to the realization that I’ve been “staying afloat” for the last ten years, but now its time to catch the boat in which the Lord is sending my way. Better yet, I feel a little bold and so I may just start walking on the water as Peter attempted to do. My desire is to definitely get to the other side. To the side in which God can use my gifts and talents to the best of my ability and for His glory. Unfortunately, I haven’t been using them to the best.

If that’s not enough, I was watching Notorious, the story of slain rapper Biggie Smalls, and all through the movie I kept hearing what P. Diddy said to Biggie. I counted TWICE P. Diddy saying it to Biggie, and the last time Biggie said it to his crew. He said……..…. “In order to change the world, we have to change ourselves.” Hmmmm……..I think I’m ready to make that change.

….Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?……” --Matthew 16:8-9