So this afternoon I watched the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms on VH1. Some of the moms featured were Bow Wow, Missy Elliott, Ashanti, Lindsay Lohan, Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, and Ne-Yo’s moms. Wow. Don’t know what to say. Actually I know what I’m thinking but I don’t know how to put it in words. So bear with me--lol. I guess if I was shallow and insecure I’d be made to feel like either I should have a wealthy child that would spoil me with super expensive gifts or………that I wish I was even a mommy. Can’t say that both wouldn’t be nice, but when I stopped to really analyze those “super spoiled” mothers something deeper was revealed.
Having a career in marriage education is really something so much deeper than me. It’s really a calling from God. Many times throughout my day--even on the weekends--the Lord will reveal certain things to me concerning relationships and marriage. And usually, when He gives me revelations it almost hits me over the head like a bag of apples. It be just that deep.
As I was watching the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms something was revealed. Don’t know if you’ve watched the show, are familiar with these celebrities and their moms, or…..even care--lol. But there’s much publicity out there about these moms because they have a huge stake in their children’s careers, in addition to being their moms. And so as a result…..these woman are showered with mansions, luxury cars, diamonds, furs, exotic vacations, businesses and so on. One “super spoiled” mom was given a church from her celebrity son. YES….a church!!! They showed her in the pulpit preaching. But what was revealed to me is that most, if not all, of these moms are unmarried. Hmmmmm……
Wow…..where do I start this one…..lol. Ok, let me say this……..are we suppose to be submitting to the authority of our children???????? Ok, I didn’t think so. I mean, these women, and lots more out there including Beyonce’s mother, Usher’s mother, and countless others have dedicated their entire lives around their children’s “purpose”. But I firmly believe that this is not the true will of God.
As powerful as Jesus was as an earthly man, Mary, His momma, still knew her purpose and place. When Jesus was doing His thing with the disciples and in His ministry, Mary had a very limited role. I mean, she was still the mother of Jesus and made us clear of that, but she didn’t interfere with what God had commissioned for her Son. Cause had she did……..He would not have gone to the cross. Ok, let’s just be real---lol. But Mary, too had a higher calling. And she had to answer to God. She was also a mother to other children and the wife of Joseph. And so she handled her purpose well.
So as I was watching VH1, I couldn’t help to think of how satan has tricked us, yet again. Now using the sacred relationship between a mother and child. Cause as long as our children can “provide” for us……we don’t really need a man. Hello! Many times, women who are single who have “powerful” children, they can’t even bring a man into their world unless the children approves. And on the flip side……if the momma is playing “first lady”, the children can’t even bring a potential mate in if the momma doesn’t approve. And you know when momma plays first lady the requirements are ridiculously SUPER HIGH. Not all men will take the plunge like Usher. I tip my hat to brotha man. Really I do. Because it’s such a twisted and conniving trick of the enemy. As I was watching, I couldn’t help but to wonder if all the mothers would trade all of their luxury for a good man. A good Godly man. Probably. But probably not. It’s a continuous lopsided, unbalanced cycle. And for some reason we’ve tricked ourselves into being proud of this. And so we portray the image as if its okay. Cause money and fame have become the cure all. Umph.
You know what…….according to Genesis 1, after God had provided all of our earthly needs, he then created man. And the first gift that He gave man was a WIFE. The first gift!!!! Not anything monetary, but commitment. The gift of a bond. Of love. A priceless gift. The Word talks about the duty of a husband and a wife, and their purpose and mission on this earth. THEY are the partners called to duty for God’s purpose. A husband and wife relationship is the only relationship that God allows to be equivalent to Him and the church. Any other relationship becomes idolatry. And if we’re not careful, we can put other people and things in a place where we worship them. Like our children. We were not put on earth to submit to the authority of our children. They are not to be partners with us. Its man and woman. HUSBAND AND WIFE. Period.
Ok, don’t get me wrong I know the struggles of a mother who had to raise a child alone. Really I do. I was born into a single-parent household. And so the more I hear about it, especially the moms who are raising very good kids into very good adults, I tear up. I have sisters and girlfriends who are doing this. And doing it well. But not by choice, but by circumstances. I believe that most women who bring children in the world alone started their relationship hoping for the best. I know my loved ones did. And truth be told….I could’ve been in this same predicament myself had it not been for God’s grace. So I tip my hats and salute ALL the single mommas.
But unfortunately, what is happening is that because we have to take up responsibility on both sides…….its becoming very unclear where to draw the line. As a result, we end up becoming our children’s EVERYTHING. Even spilling into their adulthood and making major decisions in their adult lives. But guess what……….its not supposed to be this way. Not according to God’s divine purpose. Even if we are married……we have to trust God with our children’s lives because they too have a purpose and mission. And I doubt it has anything to do with their mommas--lol.
I often wonder what type of mother I’ll be. Well, if it is any indication from the protection I have over my nieces and nephews then………wow. But I know that I need a husband in order to parent. I can’t do it alone. Cause I would get on my child’s nerves---lol. My child would probably divorce me----lol. Cause I’d probably smother them and be overprotective. Yes, my children will need the balance--lol. Ok, I should say that I will need the balance---lol. I’ma need my husband to say……. “baby, chill out…..I got this!!”
But I look forward to being a mother. Really, I do. I don’t talk about it much cause…....well cause I just don’t---lol. But I do want to be a mommy. I have this saying that I ALWAYS say though. It’s…….thank God for my baby……but its his daddy I want--lol. In other words……thank God for the gift, but it’s the GIVER that I want.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. --Genesis 2:24
………For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” --Matthew 19:5-6
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife…… --Mark 10:7
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. --Ephesians 5:31
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