Un-Voided Prayers and Blessings

Whew! What a rainy, wet, nasty Tuesday morning. I got soaked on the way in and almost turned around. But I weathered the storm and now I’m in the office (deep breath).

Boy, what a weekend. I needed the extra day. It really helped to just be agenda-less on yesterday. After returning from the gym, and getting soaked from the storm, I took a 5-hour nap. Yep, 5 whole hours. I soooo needed it.

Ok, I got something on my mind today. Actually, it’s been on my mind for the last two days, but today I’m just able to get it out of my head and in an entry. On Sunday, my pastor (ok, he’s still not my pastor “officially” yet, but I’m claiming him—lol)…..anyway my pastor was on a well-needed vacation with his family over the weekend and so he invited two guest pastors/preachers to come in and conduct Sunday service. The guest pastor that delivered the Word on Sunday is swiftly becoming one of my favorites. The way he allows the Lord to use him to deliver the Word is AWESOME. So I was really glad to see him. But the other guest pastor who moderated the service………well, he rubs me the wrong way. Really, he does.

Alright…..[my friend] is teaching me to keep my mouth off of God’s messengers--lol. He knows me and my opinions (and my mouth--lol), and so he tells me quite often that I should not be speaking negatively about the men of God (or women--lol). So I’m trying. Really, I am. But I feel compelled to speak about the moderator of Sunday’s service for a number of reasons.

First, a few months ago, when I first saw dude something in my Spirit just wouldn’t settle with him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was a very uneasiness in me about him. It’s like he sends off this nasty, unclean spirit. Then a couple weeks after that, I received a message from a “confidant” that dude had pulled her to the side and inquired about me. Can I just say that that is a NEGATIVE!! If you want to know anything about me……..don’t ask my neighbor come to ME. And if you think you want to approach me, you better be sure that I’m giving you the signal to do so. And I didn’t. So the message was a huge turnoff. But then on top of just being disgustingly irritated by dude, I found out that he is MARRIED……and you know how I feel about marriage. I’ve noticed that dude is never with his wife---at least I have never seen her which makes me even that more uneasy about him. In saying that……he has overstepped his boundaries and has offended me in the process. Now my uneasiness has gone to a much higher level concerning him.

Ok, so Sunday morning we were in service and prior to the guest speaker getting up to preach, the moderator (married dude) was doing his thing. NO anointing. It just wasn’t there. However, I don’t need anybody to usher in the presence of God because I can do it myself and so that’s what I was doing. Just praising and worshipping. So then the guest preacher got up and the anointing hit the place like a ton of bricks. We went to a whole another level.

And so after the guest preacher preached (ok…..he didn’t really preach because the anointing was so high and we were in praise and worship since he’d gotten up), but after he preached he called for those who just wanted to go higher in the Lord and to just worship Him more to come to the altar. And so I went. Cause for me the altar is not a hospital, but a place of worship. I love lying on my face before God on the altar with others.

But as I’m standing there just worshipping the Lord with my eyes closed, dude (the moderator) comes and put his two greasy hands on both sides of my head and shakes me as he’s mumbling, as if he’s trying to get my attention---but in a very aggressive manner. When he let go my face had oil dripping down the side and my hair, which was neatly pulled back into a bun, was all disheveled. Can I just say that if I thought he would be the one laying his hands on me I wouldn’t have gone to the altar. That’s not why I went. I didn’t go to the altar to receive anything in particular. I mean, if the guest preacher wanted to lay hands on me that was fine. But I actually went to give myself as a living sacrifice to God. So I was offended when I heard dude standing in front of me, but not to the point where I lost focus.

Anyway…..so I went back to my seat and continued worshipping the Lord. But I gotta admit…..I was offended. Cause I’m really particular of who I allow to lay their hands on me. So as everyone was worshipping, dude (the moderator) takes over from the guest preacher and starts running back and forth through the church pointing people out for them to come back up to the altar so that he could pray for them again. Not that many, just a hand-picked few he was calling out. He was in this really aggressive bear-like type of mode which was clearly working out of self-motive. So we all watched as he grabbed his chosen person, making them fall to the floor as if the power in him was so great that the anointing made them fall. I wasn’t buying it. Cause I know the flow of the Holy Spirit and it clearly wasn’t controlling dude. I mean, when the anointing is high and the Holy Spirit is working in an individual, that person can blow and folk will fall out. I know cause it happened to me. But that wasn’t the case with dude. He was pushing people down on the floor cause they weren’t falling under the power in which he obviously didn’t realize was being blocked by self. So again, I wasn’t buying it.

So then dude did the OH NO. He moved the first few rows of people from his view to get my attention and then he motioned for me to come to the altar so that he could put his hands on me. Ummmm…….wrong person. I ain’t the one dude. So, not trying to be disobedient, but my body wasn’t responding and so I didn’t move. Cause I wasn’t led to move. So I did stand up cause I didn’t want to be outwardly disobedient, but I wasn’t walking. Noticing my reluctance, dude got so angry with me that he put his hands up to me and walks the other way as if to say………… “oh you think you all that…..well I don’t want you anyway.” It was quite embarrassing and I really felt bad.

As I rode home from church I was flushed. Not because I had rejected dude, but because when I enter into the Lord’s house all bullcrap stays outside. Really it does. I don’t like to bring foolishness in my place of worship; neither do I like to be caught up in other folk’s foolishness in church. I mean, we can bicker and fight outside, but when we come into the Lord’s house……that mess needs to stop. In fact, I look to be changed once I leave and so if there’s any foolishness prior, then it’s my mission to allow the Lord to handle it. But the foolishness with dude happened inside the sanctuary………(deep breath). I can’t to the life of me understand why he would look past all those people and pull me out. It was almost as if he was trying to impress me or prove something. I don’t know…..perhaps he was led by the Lord. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I prayed and I asked the Lord that if I was wrong (in which I’m all for accountability) that His grace and mercy catch me. And I wholeheartedly believe that I wasn’t wrong. And so I’m proceeding in that.

Soooooo…….it takes me to my point; the thing that’s really on my mind today. Am I the only one who feels like blessings are voided from messenger to messenger????? I mean, why is it that we have to keep going to the altar for the same issue. I’m speaking about those of us who are supposed to be walking in the counsel of the Lord. I mean, if my pastor called an altar call last Sunday for those who wanted peace in their marriages and he prays and commands peace in the marriage and we supposedly receive it, then why do we need to go back to the altar next Sunday for the same thing???? I mean, is last week’s prayer voided???? I mean, why can’t we just walk in faith from what we received last week.

That’s kinda how I felt with dude praying for me twice. And not just him, but it happens all the time. Unless I’m in a backsliding position and need to be reconciled with the Lord, I’m good. If I’ve already claimed salvation, but then if I get sick……I’m healed. The Word of God tells us this. I mean, why does every time the pastor (or whoever) is led to call for a particular prayer we need to keep responding over and over????? Is it that we really don’t believe?????

A good example of this was just recently. A couple of weeks ago, my pastor had given the church a prophecy that for the months of May, June, and July the church was going to see a harvest in their finances because of what we have sown in ministry over the years. And so he told us that financial blessings would just appear out of weird places because of our diligence in giving. Great. I received this cause I had already felt it in my Spirit. And because I’m one who gives wholeheartedly and not because I’m obligated, but because I love to give.

But then dude, the moderator, gets up to collect the offering and basically says that if we don’t give a certain amount of money then our financial blessings will be interrupted for the next few months. Hold up, wait a minute!!!! Does that mean that what my pastor said a few weeks ago is voided????? Well, just as dude knew he would do…..he scared the living daylights out of most of the folk and they started pulling out their checkbooks.

You know what……I think one of the biggest lacks we’re missing in the Body of Christ is learning how to walk in faith. We walk long enough to see that things aren’t working on our timing, or we get tripped up from doubting God. And so we begin to take matters in our own hands, somehow ending up back at the altar due to confusion. But our prayers and God’s blessings don’t have an expiration date. His gifts come without repentance. I see this time and time again.

I remember when me and my two girlfriends gave our lives to Christ together back in the early nineties. And every Sunday when it was time for the altar call the three of us would be on the altar for…….well we really didn’t know why--lol. We joke about it today. But I guess we were looking at others walk and it made it seem like our walk was wrong. So we would go and cry on the altar Sunday after Sunday. I don’t know why. But then one Sunday we all got up to go, but I sat back down. I had decided that I wasn’t going. That I was tired of going to the altar for every little thing. I realized that I needed to learn how to walk in repentance. And more importantly, I had to understand that the power the Lord placed in the pastor and other leaders was also in me. I just needed to activate it. Well, actually I didn’t know it then, but I really just needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit—lol.

You know I’ve said this more than enough times, but we as Believers have to understand that we answer to GOD. We also have to understand that God has given us the power and that until we accept the authority He has given us we will continue to be in “victim” mode----falling prey to anything and anybody claiming to know God better than we do. There is NOTHING that nobody can tell me about my relationship with God that He hasn’t already spoken to me. And though I respect authority, and honor leadership, it all boils down to what God has spoken to ME. At the end of the day….I’m the one held accountable.

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. –John 5:7-9