NEVER!!

My God NEVER ceases to amaze me. You know what….its in the smallest situations that the Lord speaks loudest to me. I’m telling you, umph.

Ok, a couple of weeks ago I went through this mass dump of jewelry and perfume that had been given to me by folk I am no longer connected to. I haven’t cut too many people from my life recently, cause I’m learning how to deal with folk and their issues, and mine as well. Really I am—lol. But over the last few years there were some folk who came in my life that started wreaking havoc in the spiritual realm. I mean, on the surface things were good. But there was a quiet feud that didn’t sit well in my Spirit. Soooo…..I had to cut the ties. Anyway, a few of these folk had given me gifts over the course of the friendship/relationship that had created an unspoken covenant. All too often we receive gifts with gratitude and keep on keeping on. But………after hearing my pastor speaking about soul ties, and using things to solidify the covenant, I decided to clean house.

About a month ago I discarded my favorite pair of silver hoops. Yep, I took them out my ear and dumped them in the waste paper basket in my bathroom. An older lady at the office had given them to me I think for my birthday or Christmas, can’t remember. But not only did she give me those pair, she gave me five pair of hoops. She knows that I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, but she knows that I love silver hoops. So over the years she has literally spoiled me with jewelry, and all kinds of other stuff. I use to call her my fairy godmother (lol).

Anyway, a couple of days after I dumped my favorite pair of earrings I was going through my jewelry box trying to find a pair to wear to work. The only ones I could find were the other five pair she had given me. At first I was like.......look, I don’t have no earrings to wear and soul ties or not, I need to wear a pair of these earrings. But something in my Spirit just wouldn’t let me put them on. So I did another act against my flesh I dumped all five pair of earrings in the big garbage can in the kitchen.

This was a very bold move for me. Cause I don’t like giving away my last. I’m just being honest. I don’t. Ok, it wasn’t like I didn’t have ANY earrings to wear, but not just what I wanted to wear. I ain’t really into the gold hoops like I was back in the nineties---my jewelry box is full of those---I wanted my silver hoops. Period. But didn’t have any. At first I wanted to talk myself into thinking that I was crazy for dumping “gifts”, but dumping brought a release that I can’t explain. I know without a shadow of a doubt that hearing my pastor’s message was the push I needed to completely cut myself from ungodly ties. Anyway, for the last few weeks I’ve been rotating some costume jewelry---UGH---cause the silver hoops I want from Tiffany’s ain’t in a sistah’s budget right now. And as far as I can see……I don’t see them in the future budget, either—lol.

Ok, let me switch gears here. I promise you that it will all tie together—lol.

(Deep breath). Over the last year [my friend] has been really dealing with me about this tithes and offerings thing. I grew up in the pentecostal church, I know all too well about the misdealings of tithes and offerings, and so I was really burnt out about it for years. Seriously. But when me and [my friend] first met he spoke boldly that he was a proud tithes payer. For a long time when he’d mention something about paying tithes in the back of my mind I’d be like…….uhhhhh, dude you can afford to pay yours and mine, and I suggest you do that cause I ain’t getting caught up in it. I just didn’t want to hear it witnessing the schemes of greedy church leaders.

But then one day we had the “finances” talk. I knew it was coming. My girlfriend always joke---knowing my $100,000 worth of student loans---saying, “umm, are you gonna tell him that he’s in debt BEFORE you get married or AFTER?”—lol. It’s a running joke. But we had the talk and I gave it to him straight. Ain’t no need to hold back now. I let him know that I got a little caught up in living like I sold a piece of real estate every month, but now that the market has crashed; ummmm…….I’m robbing peter to pay paul. I was straight up with him. He took a deep breath and told me something that has had a positive impact on my life ever since. He simply said......you can’t call yourself a Christian and not pay tithes. And so I humbled myself and listened to daddy--lol.

Then he explained that although paying tithes and offerings are Spiritual acts they are too a mental act. He told me that when you know you have to pay ties (10% of your income) your mind adjusts your finances accordingly because you have subjected your mind to the Spirit of God. And when one submits their being to God He has to move in the situation. Cause His Word says so. He dared me to try it. He told me that he guaranteed that within one month I wouldn’t be stressed out about my finances if I acted out of a pure heart.

Ok, let me say something. I’m not one of those people who is scared into paying tithes and offerings. I don’t fall for the “you are cursed if you don’t pay your tithes” cause I know that I am no longer under the curse, but under God’s grace. But I give purely from my heart. When I am led to give. And so for the last couple of years that’s how I’ve been living my spiritual life---giving as I’m led to. I hadn’t been led to pay tithes, for whatever reason, and so I didn’t.

One of the benefits of attending a big church is that you get lost in the congregation. If I don’t go one Sunday nobody notices. And if I don’t give, my little piece of change is just a drop in the pacific, so it probably doesn’t really count anyway. But since joining my new church, a very small in size church and new ministry, well your attendance and giving is noticed. Still I wasn’t moved. Cause nobody controls my finances but ME. For the first few months I heard the tithes and offerings messages, and I listened. As my mother often say......“you have to learn how to chew the meat and spit out the bones.” And so I took the parts that pertained to me and discarded the rest. Cause again, nobody controls my money but ME.

But then one day the Lord spoke to my heart and allowed me to see this new ministry and how my tithes and offerings could really have an impact on the church. Still, I felt that I had too many bills. I mean, I could give a nice offering every Sunday, but 10% of my income every month, uuuuuh NOT. Still feeling very resistant, but at the same time a tug at my heart I sat down on the sofa one evening and really analyzed my finances. I really wanted to see if I could make it work. Ok, let me just say this……10% of my income a month is almost equivalent to my car note. And we ain’t talking about a Ford Focus note, either--lol.

Anyway, so for hours I was juggling stuff around and trying to see where I could do without some things and reduce others. I didn’t realize until recently that this was a faith move. But as I was analyzing my finances I remembered that I had a savings account where a very small amount of my paycheck was going into. I had never touched it since I opened it about five years ago. So I went online and checked the balance and couldn’t believe the balance. So what I did was those bills that I could pay off or up for the rest of the year I did so from that account. After I finished doing all of that I not only had enough money to pay my tithes bi-weekly, but I had extra money left over to splurge a little.

For weeks I was walking around like…..WOW!!! I finally was at a place where I didn’t feel overwhelmed with my finances. And really, my whole purpose was because I wanted to sow into my church. Gotta be honest, if it was a mega ministry and the pastor was driving a Maybach or a Phantom, ummmm don’t think so. But because my pastor and the first lady don’t seem to be concerned with material gain, don’t have negative—greedy motives, and because I feel in my Spirit that they have given up a lot to be obedient to the Lord’s command, I felt the least I could do was help support the ministry financially. That’s the least I could do. So to juggle my personal finances to support the ministry was purely from my heart. I wasn’t trying to reap nothing, just trying to support the ministry that has contributed signficantly to my Spiritual growth.

But then something happened.

A few days after I had given my first tithes, I received a bonus at work. Had never received this honor before--lol. I mean, I've worked my butt off for this program for the last 9 years....why recognize my worth now--lol. But I was commended for effectively managing my program and was told that I had the highest performance rating amongst 32 staff. With that bonus I was able to pay off my braces which relieved me from an extra monthly expense. Days after that, I checked my account and noticed that my paycheck was $162 more than normal. I called personnel to inquire and they told me that they had miscalculated my pay increase FROM LAST YEAR, and had made the adjustment plus was giving me retro pay. At this point, I was like……c’mon Lord you joking right---lol.

This morning as I was getting ready to leave out the door I remembered that I needed to get my spare key because I was driving in and parking in the office garage. So as I was fumbling through my nightstand drawer, in which I rarely go in, something popped out at me. It was a little cardboard jewelry box. At first I was gonna ignore it cause I was---a little late---but I decided to open it anyway. Would you believe that there was not one pair, but TWO pair of silver hoops in the box. They weren’t new, but I can’t for the life of me remember where they came from, or who gave them to me, or if I bought them for myself. What’s funny is that I NEVER put jewelry in or on my nightstand. When I walk through my front door I start stripping and one of my first stops is at my jewelry box on my dresser. I’m still sitting here baffled. I have no clue where those earrings came from so I’m just gonna believe that the Lord placed them there. Though small, it was as if the Lord had whispered in my ear…… “I got you.”

I’m a living witness that when you release in obedience the Lord will give back to you. I’m learning that sowing/reaping is not just a natural law, but a Spiritual one. When you give with good intentions and motives, oh He will make provisions. And not that I needed proof cause my walk with the Lord is a faith walk. If He tells me to give I’m acting out of obedience. Period. If He never gives back…I’m still good. Cause I’ve decided to submit to His perfect will no matter what it costs me. But He gave back ANYWAY. Cause His Word don’t lie.

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” –Malachi 3:10