Strength Training

Never in my weirdest dreams did I think that I’d be growing through what I’m going through. Then again……..yes I did. Yep, I dreamt it. All of this. Sure did. Decisions, decisions. (Deep breath) Anyway, for the last few days I’ve been reminded that it is in my weakness that God has his plan in full action. And when it comes to matters of the heart…..umm, a sistah is weak.

This morning was a gym morning. In fact, since I’ve committed myself to the “morning shift” of going to the gym I’ve been quite consistent. And I’m noticing that I don’t need as many hours of sleep that I thought. I actually got in late from church last night—about midnight--and after doing the usual checking messages and returning text, settling down and doing my usual weekly weather check, it was close to 1am when I drifted off to sleep. At 5am sharp, I jumped out of the bed, threw on my gym gear, grabbed a protein shake, ran down the three flights of stairs, jumped into my car and drove off before the rear and side view mirrors adjusted, and was on the elliptical by 5:25am.

Ok, believe it or not I’ve been doing the gym thing for years and years. No, I don’t always notice a difference on the scale, but when I’m committed to something…..I’m committed. The truth of the matter is that my weight fluctuates, and I’ve just gotten comfortable with that cycle. However, over the last two years I’ve really taken my cardio to the next level. I mean, it is nothing for me to run at a steady pace on the treadmill for a lengthy period of time without getting winded. And it is nothing for me to stay on the elliptical for an hour at high intensity. When I used to workout in the evenings, sometimes I’d go down to the gym and just walk on the treadmill without looking at the clock. Before I’d know it, two hours would pass. Since I’ve increased my cardio, I have noticed some difference on the scale. But then there came the halt.

When I decided to workout in the mornings, I also decided that I’d get a trainer for 30-days as well. I just needed to get some physical advice and some help in getting into a routine that would produce better results in less amount of time. When we initially met, the first thing that my trainer told me was that I needed to decrease my cardio, and incorporate strength training into my routine. Of course I looked at him like he was crazy. I mean, cardio is what we all need, and I’d like to think that I need it a little more---cause a sistah be stressed. But he told me simply that I’ve maxed out on cardio and that I needed to burn more by lifting weights. I was floored. And you know me……I bucked him--lol. I mean, c’mon……I’ve mastered cardio. Cardio is my physical strength. My endurance in ANY physical activity that requires steady free movement has always been high. But dude wasn’t hearing me. I mean, he’s the expert I guess he knew what he was talking about. The truth of the matter is that weights intimidated me.

On my first day of my new workout routine, I did the elliptical for 30 minutes and was to do strength training for 30 minutes. The first machine I got on, I had to adjust to the lightest weights. I think 10lbs. Perhaps it was a toss up between laziness and intimidation, but I just didn’t want to do it. I mean honestly, it didn’t make sense mentally. Everybody knows that weights put on weight and on top of that they bulk you up. But with the little light weight I could do, bulking up was my least worry. I simply felt like I was just wasting my time.

If you don’t know by now, let me just tell you that I am obedient to the core. I will buck you, but if you can prove to me your authority I will follow a command without a problem. (Deep breath) So I humbled myself, and in all my weakness of lifting my little 10lbs here and 15lbs there I’ve been sticking with the program for almost a month now. And I’m proud to say that I have seen steady results in my clothes.

I think that this is a good time to insert one of my favorite quotes: “a natural pattern will show in detail what the Spiritual reality consists of.”

Last week, my pastor and his wife requested to meet with me. (Deep breath) WOW!!! What a meeting. My pastor has so much insight and knowledge of the Word of God. It was a great meeting and we had such a great conversation. One of the many things that my pastor told me was that, here in America (he’s from Ghana) we rely too much on our strengths. Everything we do we do it out of our strength. Because that’s what we’ve been indirectly taught---to be all that we can be. Our strengths have become a one size fits all type of lifestyle. And for some ungodly reason, we’re making it work in all aspects of our lives. Or at least we’re trying to.

So as me and my pastor were conversing you could tell he was getting a revelation on the spot. Then the conversation shifted. And he got quiet. And I was sitting there looking stupid waiting for him to speak. Cause I knew the Lord was speaking to Him. What he told me was that as much as he knows that I would be excellent at doing what he had originally felt that I would be great at doing in the ministry, he has to be obedient to God as a shepherd and pull out the thing in me that the Lord is showing him. I know EXACTLY what it is. I’ve been ducking and dodging it. Cause it intimidates me. It’s my weakness.

You know what’s amazing, and I promise you that I'ma tie all this together (lol)………. It's amazing that here in the U.S., 44% of women over the age of 30 who are unmarried are African American. Can you believe that!!! That’s almost half!!! Ok, here it goes. In MY opinion, one of the biggest mistakes that have surfaced on this earth is the black women’s empowerment movement. And being a black woman who has had her share of this movement, and am still single…..umm yes I feel qualified to give my opinion and express my feelings.

This ungodly movement has taken us to plain old cockiness. We have become unbreakable, unsubmissive, and just down right…..unbearable. Don’t get me wrong…..I’m all for a strong, black woman, but what we’ve failed to realize is that black women came to earth with a purpose of strength. We came to earth to help the man. But somehow we got deceived again into thinking that we can do our job and his. Ummm, yes we can….but that ain’t what we were sent here for. That’s like adding sugar to syrup.

I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends over the weekend. She’s very successful might I add. But she says that she’s so tired of being lonely and being without a companion that she has begun to really cry out to the Lord to send her someone. Of course she was reaching out to me for some insight and advice, and a shoulder. And the first thing I explained to her was that though marriage is an earthly covenant, it is ordained by God. Therefore, if it is to truly work with the blessings she desires she has to be obedient, and submit to God’s word. To put a few perspectives on the table that I thought she might understand I told her flat out……the Ms. CEO thing is not gonna work in the home with a husband. I so love Michelle Obama for being a good example of this. Not many know that Mrs. Obama was Mr. President's boss at one of the country's leading law firms when they started dating. Over the years, roles changed drastically. Because the Mrs. obviously submitted to her true purpose.

After I hung up with my girlfriend, in which I revealed some of the conversation me and my pastor had, I thought back to that conversation. It made me reflect on how churches are being run by strong folk who have extraordinary gifts and talents in the world. To the finite mind……this is ideal. But to the spiritually-led being…….ummm I don’t think this should be. First, gifts come without repentance so you don’t know what spirit is leading a ministry in the church. But second, I don’t believe that a strength that is built by the world can be truly in submission to God’s perfect will. Submitting to God's will takes a great deal of humility and a lot of us has spent half our life trying to build and rebuild ourselves. Removing is a sense of going backwards.

You know what I thought about this morning……..Jesus was a great carpenter. He came from a family of skilled carpenters. So why didn’t he build the first church??? In fact, you don’t see anything in the Bible where Jesus used his profession in the ministry. In fact, everybody who He had chosen in ministry with him He told them to drop their careers and follow Him. They dropped everything to follow Jesus. Everything that they’d accomplished they dropped to follow Christ.

This reminds me of a dude at my church. To see this guy you wouldn’t think twice about his profession, or skills, or what he does outside of the church. More than often, he comes to church in his little skippies and t-shirt and sits anywhere there is a vacant seat---off to the side or in the back. Every now and again, we exchange looks of perplexity with something that my pastor says or even looks of “dang, I just learned something”. Very nice guy. One time we were in a meeting and somebody asked what ministry he led and he said plainly, “I don't lead any ministry. I do whatever Pastor and First Lady tells me to do.” He said, “right now I’m the waterboy.” We cracked up laughing as he went to get two cold bottles of water for my pastor. But recently, he and I spent some time chatting after service and I was amazed at what he revealed. Dude runs one of the nation’s top corporations. His expertise and skills can take the church in a soaring direction………but he makes it non-verbally clear that that’s not his purpose for being at the church. He’s on a mission for God and has wholeheartedly submitted to the will of the Lord.

Over the last few months or so, the Lord has really been working on me to understand that being weak is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a darn good place to be. But we’re programmed to think that being weak sends so many negative messages. We’re taught to keep our guards up, to not pull them down. We’re taught to not let them see us sweat. We’ve taken the strong, “got it going on” image to a whole new level. We’ve built up this wall with the help of society that is really a trap set by the enemy. As my pastor said to me……. until I am in my weakest state, that’s emptying all of me, no newness can enter. I received what he said wholeheartedly. Cause without telling him my current situation, I had a “I’m a strong black woman” wall up. And as much as it hurt my pride, and revealed my vulnerability, I decided to take it down after speaking with my pastor. Now I can finally feel God moving in the situation. I’m seeing results.

… To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. --2 Corinthians 12:7-10