Vacation Needed

Ok, I was not expecting to come back home from my family weekend getaway in Myrtle Beach to a heatwave. Bad enough I fell asleep on the beach and got sunburned. Even with the sun block I used religiously before stepping on the beach, my back and my face is torn up. Yes, my nose is now beginning to peel and wearing clothes just simply hurts. Now they talking about 100 degrees in the metropolitan area……….I’m so not ready for this. I thought about calling my boss and telling her that its just too darn hot to come to work, but I’m trying real hard not to make decisions from the bed. Soooooo……..

So I got myself up this morning after getting in rather late. As soon as we got to my sister’s house in Woodbridge last night to go our separate ways, I felt the strong need to clean out my car before I made it home. So I raided her cleaning closet and scrubbed down my seats and dashboard with Murphy’s Oil Soap, making sure all the candy, cookie, and popsicle wrappers left from my nieces were trashed. By the time I finished it was dark outside.

When I got home, I popped the trunk and got instantly depressed. My weekend bag, cosmetic bag, and purse turned into eight bags. At first I was gonna do the multiple trip thing up the three flights of stairs. But then I said the heck with this and grabbed my purse and cosmetic bag, and slammed the trunk.

Can I tell you….there is nothing like cleaning your house before you go away. Before I left I was so busy taking care of loose ends that I neglected the dust piling up on my dresser. But on last Tuesday night I halted everything and as I was getting in some QT over the phone, I put it down---dusted, vacuumed, cleaned mirrors, changed linen, washed clothes, emptied trash, and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors. So last night when I walked in I felt instantly rejuvenated. The aromatherapy and air conditioner were on full blast. I literally dropped both bags in the middle of the floor, plugged up my cell phone, checked my messages, took a quick shower, and was in the bed sleep within 20 minutes. Seriously.

I woke up this morning feeling very Monday bluesy. A part of me had wished I’d played the mega millions at that rest stop right outside of Richmond. Just a million dollars would do, but to hit the hundred million……oh yes a sistah could do some things with that. I remembered passing the huge mega million ad on the interstate and thinking that if I played and won would my pastor accept a donation or allow me to pay my tithes off of my “ungodly” money. Yesterday, when I had the opportunity to play all kinda guilt kept running through my head so I decided that it wasn’t for me to play. But this morning…….I kinda wished I was a big winner. But then a part of me said…… “thank God for a job”. So I jumped up out the bed and faced my reality.

As soon as I walked in the living room and glimpsed at my bags sitting in the middle of the floor I started to go into an anxiety attack. At least that’s what it felt like---lol. I mean, I felt like I needed to unpack everything. Immediately. Then my bank account flashed in front of my face causing a reminder of all the money I spent over the last five days. And so I ran to the computer and turned it on. As the computer was booting up, I slipped on my sweatpants and ran downstairs to get the rest of the bags. Or at least what I could grab in one trip. By the time I made it to the top of the stairs I was huffing and puffing. I felt the need to do it though since this is the first Monday in a month that I didn’t do my early morning workout. So all kind of guilt was running through me. As soon as I got in and dumped my bags with the others I ran to the computer to discover my damage. But then I glanced at the clock and it was well past the time I needed to be in the shower. Then all of a sudden, I stopped in my tracks and said……….. “STOP!!!”

As soon as I stopped what I was stressing over, I felt an instant peace and resolve like never before. I simply got up from my desk, walked through the living room and passed all of my bags, got in the shower and threw on whatever my hand touched in the closet. I pulled my hair back in a bun, couldn’t put on any make-up cause MY FACE HURTS, and I grabbed my keys and purse, and was out the door.

On my way to work, my girlfriend “E” called stressing about a personal issue in which she needed my advice and to vent. Then when I got to work, another girlfriend called asking me to commit to an hour of intercessory prayer with her for the next 30 days for a 20 year old young lady who is suffering with intestinal cancer. I kept saying in the back of my mind…… “when do I have an hour to pray???” I mean, tonight I have to unpack and get myself mentally back into the hustle and bustle of life. Then this weekend is QT with another part of my life in which has been planned for the last month. On top of that, I haven’t been to church in over a week. Instantly, I felt the anxiety coming back on.

Then the Lord convicted me. I felt real selfish and all over the place. So what I’ve decided to do is forget the unpacking til further notice. It will get done…….when it gets done. I’m also not stressing over my finances. I went well over my monthly allowance, but its something that I rarely do and so…….SO WHAT! I refuse to feel guilty for living. I’m also taking my “Jill” time off of the clock. It’s bad enough that a good 50 hours of my week is governed by a clock, but to have my evenings and weekends on a clock becomes real selfish cause it feels like I never have enough time for me. As far as interceding for the young lady with cancer, YES I will intercede for her but will allow the Holy Spirit to guide me while I’m praying. Cause who knows…..it may be more than an hour.

Right now I just want to take a chill pill and move with the flow. Which reminds me of a dream I had last night. I dreamt that I was in the clearance section of Pottery Barn. Perhaps it was the outlet out in Leesburg. In any case, I saw this beautiful coffee table and I really wanted to buy it. In the dream I could see the color and texture of the table. I was really considering buying it. I couldn’t understand why the table was on clearance. But then I saw its flaw which seemed like a very easy fix.

As soon as I got in the office this morning, I immediately went to my dream dictionary to look up its meaning. And well, well……whataya know. Dreaming of worn furniture symbolizes outdated attitudes, and/or old ways of thinking. Dreaming of a table symbolizes family and social unity. But dreaming of a broken or wobbly table suggests some dissension in my family and/or social circle. I don’t know of any dissension with my loved ones, but maybe it’s that I need to spend more time with them. Even with this little weekender in Myrtle Beach with my family, I kept them on hold for an answer to go.

As I’m typing this entry I just received a text from my mother saying that there will be a family dinner on Friday to celebrate my little sister’s birthday and farewell back to college. Reading it I started to feel stressed because I had already mentally planned that on Friday I was washing all of my comforters at the laundry mat and preparing for my long weekend. Why in the world would yal impose on my weekend again!!! Maybe that’s the dissension. Umph. But as in the dream…..I looked at the table and thought to myself……. “oh that seems like an easy fix.” Sooooo……..what all of this says to me is that I need to spend more time on what matters then on trivial things like stressing over unpacking and balancing a checkbook and washing comforters. In fact, I came in and booked a tentative trip to St. Thomas. Cause I need a vacation EVERY month. But it’s definitely “tentative”. Cause I have to see if I can afford to take the time. Ugh.