Prepared for Battle

Wow!!! How in the world can I make literary sense of what has been happening in my life the last five days or so. My spiritual journey just went to the next level. Wow!!

Ok, so last Friday night was all night prayer at my church. Actually, we do more than just pray. It’s actually more like a prayer service but with praise and worship, the prophetic, and of course the spoken word. But the night is centered on prayer in which we start the first two hours in intercession and throughout the night praying for specifics collectively as the Holy Spirit leads.

Our all night prayer services, called War Cry, are every last Friday of the month. And since it began a couple months ago it has grown like wild fire. My church is rather small in congregation since it was only established about 18 months ago---maybe about 400 members. But because of the powerful prayer we do a lot of visitors are drawn to the church. And when the prophet is visiting from Africa many come out to hear his accurate revelations. The visiting prophet called one lady out to prophesy to her nine year old daughter. But before he did he asked the lady where she attended church and she told him [a well-known ministry in the area], but she said frankly that she comes to [my] church to get fed. Well, she got a full course meal on Friday cause after the prophet spoke specifics about her daughter, and husband who wasn’t there, the lady was speechless. I saw her for service on Sunday morning and Sunday evening.

Then……yours truly got called out--lol. Ok, let me say this right now before I go any further. I believe HEAVILY in the prophetic as well as laying hands to heal and deliver. I was brought up in the Pentecostal church so none of this is surprising to me. Back in the eighties, I actually witnessed my mother being drunk one night (many, many nights), went to church at the urging of a friend on the next night, and got instantly delivered from alcohol and cigarettes. Our household went from one extreme to the next in ONE WEEK!!!! And as soon as the Lord delivered my mother and stepfather the favor of God started flowing. We went from a low-income apartment complex to a well-known, admired, middle-class community in about a year and a half. Change happened quickly for my family. So I know first hand the power of God, and how He works through deliverance.

Ok, so I got called out on Friday night. It had to be about 2:30 in the morning. And I think I was walking in circles praying diligently and trying not to fall asleep---lol. My girlfriend, “E” was sitting next to me. She’s been visiting my church since January and says she always gets a breakthrough when she visits. And so the prophet came and laid his hands on "E", but then he had the deacons pull me out to the altar. Ok, in case you don’t know……I’m shy!! LOL. Ok, wait…….I have a very bold personality, but I know when to be assertive and when to be humble. I’m very assertive in the workplace and other places where needed. But when I get into the House of the Lord, I immediately humble myself. I’m like a sheep in church. I cry at any little thing and I am in a zone. A Holy Ghost zone---lol. I go to church to give up praise and worship to God and leave receiving whatever He has for me. I take my worship time in church VERY seriously. Church is a “no drama” zone for me. If there is an issue we can take it up in the parking lot. But in the House of God……..uhhhhh not---lol.

So the prophet calls me to the front and he looks at my stomach. I started to feel uncomfortable because I’ve been slacking on my crunches. I hate stomach exercises. Anyway……he kept staring at my stomach. And so he asks me where my children were. And I said that I didn’t have any children. And so he asked me why. I wanted to say…… “you tell me Mr. Prophet!” but I humbly said that I didn’t know. Then he asked why I wasn’t married. Again, I shrugged my shoulders. Cause I didn't know why I’m not married. I don’t know why [my friend] don’t know how to go past third base with me, and bring it on home---lol. Then he kept staring at me and the more he stared it was getting harder for me to hold back my tears. And then the tears started falling. Before he could lay his oily hands on my forehead I dropped to the floor.

On Saturday I was just out of it all day---physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was so exhausted. Cause the prophet (the one at my church and the ones I’ve seen in the past) usually comes with a word confirming what the receiver already knows. But his prophecy to me was as if he was telling me that I had the answers already, and that he didn’t need to tell me nothing cause I already knew. Well, he was kinda right. I mean, I did/do know that the little he told me was confirmed in my spirit. But I wanted him to delve deeply in it. I know/knew that my marriage is blocked. I just didn’t know how or why. You know we always blame this sort of issue on "another woman" not knowing the real force behind the block.

So Sunday I went to morning service. I started not to go cause I was still very much exhausted from all-night prayer and I wasn’t up for the 45 minute drive to church. But something in my spirit got me up just in time and said….. “GO!” The prophet was actually speaking on Sunday morning and so I did want to hear his message. When I got to church I glimpsed at the other side and saw that my mother and two aunts were visiting and sitting with my oldest sister. Service was awesome and right before it ended the prophet called one of my aunts out. Now let me remind you that I was sitting on the other side of the church. Dude had no idea that I was related to anybody over on that other side. He doesn't know us.

So the prophet calls my aunt out and tells her that her struggles are over. She, of course, starts crying. He then tells her that there was a curse put on her years ago that was supposed to take her out but instead of attacking her the curse went to her daughters. He told her that’s why her oldest daughter was lying in the hospital right now. So true. My cousin/sister has been battling this mysterious illness that has caused her to not walk. Doctors can’t figure it out. So all of a sudden, I quickened and got up to run out the church, but it was as if the Holy Spirit had grabbed me not to leave and I fell to the floor before I could even get out the row. As I lay there zoned, I heard the prophet tell my aunt that her daughter that is in the hospital marriage was blocked and that the girl over there (referring to me) marriage was blocked also, but when she fell (referring to me) the block was lifted on both of them. He kept saying that there was a relationship between us. That something was connecting us. So my pastor jumps up and says…… “They are all related---they are all family!” At that point I was no good.

After service my pastor told us to bring the entire family back that night because there are some strong generational curses that had to be broken in my family. I was all for it. Cause I don’t play with my life. And I ain’t got time to be held accountable for a relative’s issue that happened before I was born. Nope….wrong niece. I wasn’t planning to go to church that night cause I had to get up early for work the next morning, but I went. In between services my phone was ringing off the hook. Me and my cousin, the one in the hospital who I refer to as my sister, are the only two of the older cousins who are not married. We all grew up in the same household and so when the prophet said there was a link between her and me it made so much sense. My oldest sister who heard the entire prophecy said that the prophet said our marriages were blocked due to my aunt’s struggles. How…..I have no clue. Why me…….I have no clue. What I do know is that when satan gets a leak in……he is cunning and will try to take the strongest ones out. Me and my cousin are the two strongest ones out of 17 grandchildren. Ain’t a whole lot to that.

When I got to church that evening it was packed out. Everybody and their momma were visiting. And understandably so cause after the prophet called out this visiting dude’s license plates on Friday night and told him that the devil was trying to wipe out his life in a car accident that was to happen on Thursday at 3:00p many believers came to know that the Spiritual realm is real. The prophet described both cars and told dude which one was just in an accident and which was going to be involved in the next accident. Dude’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree. At one point he looked like….. “why did I agree to visit this crazy church” and on the other “tell me more.” The whole church was almost in tears, but we prayed over dude like we never prayed before. Before prophesying, the prophet preached a message on Ungodly Kingdoms, their purpose, and how to destroy them. I was all ears.

After service, my pastor met with my family and basically told us that we needed to go into heavy prayer and fasting because there are some strong ungodly kingdoms built in my family that is preventing us from living the life in which God purposed. I understood immediately for God can do anything, but He will not go against our will. Sooooo……I realize that some things only come through prayer and fasting. And that we had to surrender our will for God to have His way to fight on our behalf. Many ministries in my family have been blocked, there are untimely deaths, generational illnesses, and poverty. These are all results of ungodly kingdoms that have been set up in our lives. Either in front of our faces or behind our backs. All are set up in the spiritual realm, and orchestrated by satanic forces.

Over the course of blogging, I’ve spoken openly about my church journey over the years many times. After leaving the Pentecostal church I grew up in back in the early nineties I started frequenting a very well-known “word” church in the DC metro area. Though I’ve never been caught up in the prosperity movement (I just personally think that its a thin line between God's blessings and man's greedy motives in which gets out of Biblical truth) I was really feeling the “word” church movement because in the mid nineties I had come into this “intellectual Jill” that I really liked—lol. I was grasping knowledge back and forth, and growing into a person that I admired. However, though I was growing into Jill, I was spiritually mal-nourished. I mean, I have church notebooks filled with….. “the 10 steps to being a godly Christian in the workplace” or “the 5 steps to having a good godly attitude” or “the steps on living a prosperous life”, but I wasn’t being fed meat!!! I mean c’mon now…..all those messages could have been knocked out with one supreme message……. “What is the Holy Spirit and how to walk in obedience to the Word of God!!!” That’s it.

Just the last few years or so I have become burnt out with the mega-word church movement only because they’ve built me up so much that I’m no good for NOBODY. In fact, it’s all a freakin front because when I would get home I’d be depressed and unhappy. It wasn’t until real recent that I learned it is in our weakness that Christ becomes strong. And in our weakened, brokenness that God can began to use us. And so that’s what I’ve been grasping lately. Just being humbled before God so that He can have His perfect will in me. Me being that strong, black, professional woman is breaking down day by the day. Cause I’m learning that my profession and education can’t get me to where I need to be in God. In fact, my little gifts and talents that I lend to the church can only get me so far. If there is no anointing or if my “know-it-all” attitude can’t humble myself enough to hear from God, I will screw up a ministry. I see it happen all the time. So I understand that although I am an educated, professional in the world, my call to ministry could very well be to dust the pews and vaccum the sanctuary. I’m learning to be obedient to God’s perfect will.

Ok, so just as my pastor instructed...I have been doing a dry fast around the clock for the last few days. And so last night, since I’m not eating or doing any television or internet or anything secular, I felt like I needed to be in the presence of believers. My church was having service (the prophet is ministering at my church all week) but by the time I got home it was way too late for me to take the forty-five minute drive to Virginia. But something clicked and reminded me that my old church, which is a 3-minute ride from my house, was having Bible Study. So without any further thought I went.

Can I just say that I love my former pastor? Thanks. I love my former pastor!! He gets it. Unfortunately, the congregation doesn’t. Right before he went into his lesson on Moving Forward he’d asked that we continue singing a worship song but this time he wanted us to cry out to God with all that we had in us. Ok, it had to be approximately…….ummmm 1,500 people in the sanctuary. Probably more. But as soon as he gave the cue it seemed like he and I were the only ones crying out. I couldn’t believe it. It just took me back to a thought I use to have when visiting other ministries.

I mean, it’s sad when the congregation can’t grasp the fullness of God leaving the pastor out there alone to give up praise. My (current) pastor always tells us that praise and worship is like leaning on God’s doorbell. But what happens when He answers and opens the door? And that’s how I felt last night. Like a group of us had leaned on God’s doorbell and when He answered the only ones who had something to say were me and my (former) pastor. It was then that I really realized that a great portion of the body of Christ is not walking in the fullness of God. They’re missing out.

Over the years, I’ve heard comments about the Charismatic and/or Pentecostal church and how they are “spooky spiritual” or “radical” or just plain old LOUD. But I have to bear witness that the world we are living in is dangerous. And sometimes to get your message across you have to take any means necessary. If I can scream for my favorite singer on television, I can scream even louder for Christ. We are living in the midst of a spiritual war and there are demonic forces that are bounding God’s people. It’s time to move forward past these “get money, self-help, motivational speaking” type of messages. We need some folk who are going to fall on their knees and pray with everything they have in them. I mean, REALLY PRAY!!!

Just hearing the revelation that me being married is blocked by a demonic force that was put on my family years ago is disheartening. The devil knows that me and my husband together will cause his kingdom to tremble. That punk knew what he was doing. But guess what…..he done met his match now. Cause for the last few days I prayed, binded, destroyed, rebuked and cast down every satanic block that he not only put on me, but on my family as well. When dealing with warfare a pen and a little piece of 5x7 paper ain’t gonna do it. You gotta be completely armored by the Word of God. And not just writing it down and reciting it......BUT LIVING IT!!!

Today, after fasting and praying and loosing strong holds…..I walk in victory. I feel freer than I ever have. And if another person tells me that I look so radiant with a glow I’ma scream up to heaven and tell the Lord to turn down the light a little---lol. God is doing a great work in my family and I’m just taking it all in. Really, I am. But now that the block is gone I wonder how [my friend] will proceed. I haven’t told him yet what happened ;-).

Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. –Ephesians 6:11-13