Ok, I know I’ve been on slack-mode with writing entries, but the truth is……..I’ve been S-W-A-M-P-E-D at the office. I'm writing several major reports on my program, plus still de-briefing from travel back in April, and trying to plan program activities for the next fiscal year. You know the new Obama Administration got us in “prove your program” mode. But I welcome it and certainly understand. Really I do.
Today, I finally relieved myself of this huge headache that has been making me feel like I’m having anxiety and stress attacks. Yes, yes…..I beat the due date by 9 days!!! All kinda numbers are running through my head and if I have to add another page to the already 67 page report I think I’ma scream. Seriously, I am. My head hurts, I haven’t had a decent meal in days (thank God for the family cookout tomorrow—lol), and I want to go to the gym for normal reasons not just to relieve the day’s tension. My muscles feel locked. No, I ain’t claiming NOTHING, but my body has been feeling the pangs of my intense labor--lol.
Ok, something interesting happened this week and I was reminded today of a lifelong lesson. See, I manage a program that has a total of 10 grantees and 42 subgrantees. One of my grantees, only one, has been violating program regulations for the last few months and so last week I got a little sick and tired of folk taking my fairness as a weakness. If I may say so, I have EXTRAORDINARY work ethics. I’m no-nonsense, but fair. I try to meet each at their individual needs. But this one tried to take me for granted. I don’t care if you have a Masters in Social Work. It is my job to enforce federal rules and regulations. So I wrote a very nice-ty email to my grantee basically saying……. “because you have been non-compliant, I must therefore……[yada, yada]” All of a sudden my phone and email was on overdrive. Here I was trying to write a time-sensitive report to our parent agency, and then all of a sudden have to put out an unnecessary fire. So I haven't been in the best mood this week. Ironically, I feel sooo far out of the Lord's presence its not funny. And I hate feeling this way.
Anyway........long story short, my grantee saw that I was quite serious, so she apologized profusely saying that she was so sorry and didn’t mean to jeopardize her grant……yada, yada. So I listened. And at first I was thinking that I was gonna make this chick sweat. Cause I like when folk beg---lolol. Just being honest. But then after the third phone call and second email I gave in. I spoke with her for a good 2½ hours going over the program and how I can help her get out of the mess she put herself in. I ain’t lying……the first hour was me trying to console her tears cause she didn’t realize what she had done. She kept saying……… “Jill, how could I be so stupid?” I just listened. I could’ve very well pulled the plug. But then I really felt bad because I thought about all the participants in her program who would be affected. And other than her trying to play “Ms. Big Shot” and doing things on her own agenda, she is sharp and knows her stuff. So I gave her a second chance. Cause in the grand scheme of things I could be put in that same situation. It’s not hard to be. So when she heard my final comments she thanked me for understanding and for accepting her apology. She promised that this would never ever happen again with her organization.
Then something happened.
That conversation with my grantee was on Tuesday. Today, my agency received a startling announcement via email that my grantee, yes the one I had the conversation with on Tuesday, was hired to be our new boss. When I read it and saw the name I gasped and ran through the office screaming to my colleagues. They were running towards me at the same time. I couldn’t believe it. Still shocked. I don’t know how it happened, if it was known before or during I had the conversation, or what. It just doesn’t make sense. I knew the position was open, but the successor was still a mystery.
God is soooo good. I was reminded of a valuable life lesson today………..always be good to people because you’ll never know what role they will play in your life. I think about how some of my colleagues look down on the cleaning crew, and the mailroom guys. I've never been raised that way. I can hold a conversation with the security guard as well as director. I try my best to treat people the same. Not just cause I'm not sure who I'll pass on the way up, but because I treat folk how I want to be treated. With the utmost respect. Bottomline.
Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. --Matthew 7:12
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Un-Voided Prayers and Blessings
Whew! What a rainy, wet, nasty Tuesday morning. I got soaked on the way in and almost turned around. But I weathered the storm and now I’m in the office (deep breath).
Boy, what a weekend. I needed the extra day. It really helped to just be agenda-less on yesterday. After returning from the gym, and getting soaked from the storm, I took a 5-hour nap. Yep, 5 whole hours. I soooo needed it.
Ok, I got something on my mind today. Actually, it’s been on my mind for the last two days, but today I’m just able to get it out of my head and in an entry. On Sunday, my pastor (ok, he’s still not my pastor “officially” yet, but I’m claiming him—lol)…..anyway my pastor was on a well-needed vacation with his family over the weekend and so he invited two guest pastors/preachers to come in and conduct Sunday service. The guest pastor that delivered the Word on Sunday is swiftly becoming one of my favorites. The way he allows the Lord to use him to deliver the Word is AWESOME. So I was really glad to see him. But the other guest pastor who moderated the service………well, he rubs me the wrong way. Really, he does.
Alright…..[my friend] is teaching me to keep my mouth off of God’s messengers--lol. He knows me and my opinions (and my mouth--lol), and so he tells me quite often that I should not be speaking negatively about the men of God (or women--lol). So I’m trying. Really, I am. But I feel compelled to speak about the moderator of Sunday’s service for a number of reasons.
First, a few months ago, when I first saw dude something in my Spirit just wouldn’t settle with him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was a very uneasiness in me about him. It’s like he sends off this nasty, unclean spirit. Then a couple weeks after that, I received a message from a “confidant” that dude had pulled her to the side and inquired about me. Can I just say that that is a NEGATIVE!! If you want to know anything about me……..don’t ask my neighbor come to ME. And if you think you want to approach me, you better be sure that I’m giving you the signal to do so. And I didn’t. So the message was a huge turnoff. But then on top of just being disgustingly irritated by dude, I found out that he is MARRIED……and you know how I feel about marriage. I’ve noticed that dude is never with his wife---at least I have never seen her which makes me even that more uneasy about him. In saying that……he has overstepped his boundaries and has offended me in the process. Now my uneasiness has gone to a much higher level concerning him.
Ok, so Sunday morning we were in service and prior to the guest speaker getting up to preach, the moderator (married dude) was doing his thing. NO anointing. It just wasn’t there. However, I don’t need anybody to usher in the presence of God because I can do it myself and so that’s what I was doing. Just praising and worshipping. So then the guest preacher got up and the anointing hit the place like a ton of bricks. We went to a whole another level.
And so after the guest preacher preached (ok…..he didn’t really preach because the anointing was so high and we were in praise and worship since he’d gotten up), but after he preached he called for those who just wanted to go higher in the Lord and to just worship Him more to come to the altar. And so I went. Cause for me the altar is not a hospital, but a place of worship. I love lying on my face before God on the altar with others.
But as I’m standing there just worshipping the Lord with my eyes closed, dude (the moderator) comes and put his two greasy hands on both sides of my head and shakes me as he’s mumbling, as if he’s trying to get my attention---but in a very aggressive manner. When he let go my face had oil dripping down the side and my hair, which was neatly pulled back into a bun, was all disheveled. Can I just say that if I thought he would be the one laying his hands on me I wouldn’t have gone to the altar. That’s not why I went. I didn’t go to the altar to receive anything in particular. I mean, if the guest preacher wanted to lay hands on me that was fine. But I actually went to give myself as a living sacrifice to God. So I was offended when I heard dude standing in front of me, but not to the point where I lost focus.
Anyway…..so I went back to my seat and continued worshipping the Lord. But I gotta admit…..I was offended. Cause I’m really particular of who I allow to lay their hands on me. So as everyone was worshipping, dude (the moderator) takes over from the guest preacher and starts running back and forth through the church pointing people out for them to come back up to the altar so that he could pray for them again. Not that many, just a hand-picked few he was calling out. He was in this really aggressive bear-like type of mode which was clearly working out of self-motive. So we all watched as he grabbed his chosen person, making them fall to the floor as if the power in him was so great that the anointing made them fall. I wasn’t buying it. Cause I know the flow of the Holy Spirit and it clearly wasn’t controlling dude. I mean, when the anointing is high and the Holy Spirit is working in an individual, that person can blow and folk will fall out. I know cause it happened to me. But that wasn’t the case with dude. He was pushing people down on the floor cause they weren’t falling under the power in which he obviously didn’t realize was being blocked by self. So again, I wasn’t buying it.
So then dude did the OH NO. He moved the first few rows of people from his view to get my attention and then he motioned for me to come to the altar so that he could put his hands on me. Ummmm…….wrong person. I ain’t the one dude. So, not trying to be disobedient, but my body wasn’t responding and so I didn’t move. Cause I wasn’t led to move. So I did stand up cause I didn’t want to be outwardly disobedient, but I wasn’t walking. Noticing my reluctance, dude got so angry with me that he put his hands up to me and walks the other way as if to say………… “oh you think you all that…..well I don’t want you anyway.” It was quite embarrassing and I really felt bad.
As I rode home from church I was flushed. Not because I had rejected dude, but because when I enter into the Lord’s house all bullcrap stays outside. Really it does. I don’t like to bring foolishness in my place of worship; neither do I like to be caught up in other folk’s foolishness in church. I mean, we can bicker and fight outside, but when we come into the Lord’s house……that mess needs to stop. In fact, I look to be changed once I leave and so if there’s any foolishness prior, then it’s my mission to allow the Lord to handle it. But the foolishness with dude happened inside the sanctuary………(deep breath). I can’t to the life of me understand why he would look past all those people and pull me out. It was almost as if he was trying to impress me or prove something. I don’t know…..perhaps he was led by the Lord. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I prayed and I asked the Lord that if I was wrong (in which I’m all for accountability) that His grace and mercy catch me. And I wholeheartedly believe that I wasn’t wrong. And so I’m proceeding in that.
Soooooo…….it takes me to my point; the thing that’s really on my mind today. Am I the only one who feels like blessings are voided from messenger to messenger????? I mean, why is it that we have to keep going to the altar for the same issue. I’m speaking about those of us who are supposed to be walking in the counsel of the Lord. I mean, if my pastor called an altar call last Sunday for those who wanted peace in their marriages and he prays and commands peace in the marriage and we supposedly receive it, then why do we need to go back to the altar next Sunday for the same thing???? I mean, is last week’s prayer voided???? I mean, why can’t we just walk in faith from what we received last week.
That’s kinda how I felt with dude praying for me twice. And not just him, but it happens all the time. Unless I’m in a backsliding position and need to be reconciled with the Lord, I’m good. If I’ve already claimed salvation, but then if I get sick……I’m healed. The Word of God tells us this. I mean, why does every time the pastor (or whoever) is led to call for a particular prayer we need to keep responding over and over????? Is it that we really don’t believe?????
A good example of this was just recently. A couple of weeks ago, my pastor had given the church a prophecy that for the months of May, June, and July the church was going to see a harvest in their finances because of what we have sown in ministry over the years. And so he told us that financial blessings would just appear out of weird places because of our diligence in giving. Great. I received this cause I had already felt it in my Spirit. And because I’m one who gives wholeheartedly and not because I’m obligated, but because I love to give.
But then dude, the moderator, gets up to collect the offering and basically says that if we don’t give a certain amount of money then our financial blessings will be interrupted for the next few months. Hold up, wait a minute!!!! Does that mean that what my pastor said a few weeks ago is voided????? Well, just as dude knew he would do…..he scared the living daylights out of most of the folk and they started pulling out their checkbooks.
You know what……I think one of the biggest lacks we’re missing in the Body of Christ is learning how to walk in faith. We walk long enough to see that things aren’t working on our timing, or we get tripped up from doubting God. And so we begin to take matters in our own hands, somehow ending up back at the altar due to confusion. But our prayers and God’s blessings don’t have an expiration date. His gifts come without repentance. I see this time and time again.
I remember when me and my two girlfriends gave our lives to Christ together back in the early nineties. And every Sunday when it was time for the altar call the three of us would be on the altar for…….well we really didn’t know why--lol. We joke about it today. But I guess we were looking at others walk and it made it seem like our walk was wrong. So we would go and cry on the altar Sunday after Sunday. I don’t know why. But then one Sunday we all got up to go, but I sat back down. I had decided that I wasn’t going. That I was tired of going to the altar for every little thing. I realized that I needed to learn how to walk in repentance. And more importantly, I had to understand that the power the Lord placed in the pastor and other leaders was also in me. I just needed to activate it. Well, actually I didn’t know it then, but I really just needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit—lol.
You know I’ve said this more than enough times, but we as Believers have to understand that we answer to GOD. We also have to understand that God has given us the power and that until we accept the authority He has given us we will continue to be in “victim” mode----falling prey to anything and anybody claiming to know God better than we do. There is NOTHING that nobody can tell me about my relationship with God that He hasn’t already spoken to me. And though I respect authority, and honor leadership, it all boils down to what God has spoken to ME. At the end of the day….I’m the one held accountable.
“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. –John 5:7-9
Boy, what a weekend. I needed the extra day. It really helped to just be agenda-less on yesterday. After returning from the gym, and getting soaked from the storm, I took a 5-hour nap. Yep, 5 whole hours. I soooo needed it.
Ok, I got something on my mind today. Actually, it’s been on my mind for the last two days, but today I’m just able to get it out of my head and in an entry. On Sunday, my pastor (ok, he’s still not my pastor “officially” yet, but I’m claiming him—lol)…..anyway my pastor was on a well-needed vacation with his family over the weekend and so he invited two guest pastors/preachers to come in and conduct Sunday service. The guest pastor that delivered the Word on Sunday is swiftly becoming one of my favorites. The way he allows the Lord to use him to deliver the Word is AWESOME. So I was really glad to see him. But the other guest pastor who moderated the service………well, he rubs me the wrong way. Really, he does.
Alright…..[my friend] is teaching me to keep my mouth off of God’s messengers--lol. He knows me and my opinions (and my mouth--lol), and so he tells me quite often that I should not be speaking negatively about the men of God (or women--lol). So I’m trying. Really, I am. But I feel compelled to speak about the moderator of Sunday’s service for a number of reasons.
First, a few months ago, when I first saw dude something in my Spirit just wouldn’t settle with him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was a very uneasiness in me about him. It’s like he sends off this nasty, unclean spirit. Then a couple weeks after that, I received a message from a “confidant” that dude had pulled her to the side and inquired about me. Can I just say that that is a NEGATIVE!! If you want to know anything about me……..don’t ask my neighbor come to ME. And if you think you want to approach me, you better be sure that I’m giving you the signal to do so. And I didn’t. So the message was a huge turnoff. But then on top of just being disgustingly irritated by dude, I found out that he is MARRIED……and you know how I feel about marriage. I’ve noticed that dude is never with his wife---at least I have never seen her which makes me even that more uneasy about him. In saying that……he has overstepped his boundaries and has offended me in the process. Now my uneasiness has gone to a much higher level concerning him.
Ok, so Sunday morning we were in service and prior to the guest speaker getting up to preach, the moderator (married dude) was doing his thing. NO anointing. It just wasn’t there. However, I don’t need anybody to usher in the presence of God because I can do it myself and so that’s what I was doing. Just praising and worshipping. So then the guest preacher got up and the anointing hit the place like a ton of bricks. We went to a whole another level.
And so after the guest preacher preached (ok…..he didn’t really preach because the anointing was so high and we were in praise and worship since he’d gotten up), but after he preached he called for those who just wanted to go higher in the Lord and to just worship Him more to come to the altar. And so I went. Cause for me the altar is not a hospital, but a place of worship. I love lying on my face before God on the altar with others.
But as I’m standing there just worshipping the Lord with my eyes closed, dude (the moderator) comes and put his two greasy hands on both sides of my head and shakes me as he’s mumbling, as if he’s trying to get my attention---but in a very aggressive manner. When he let go my face had oil dripping down the side and my hair, which was neatly pulled back into a bun, was all disheveled. Can I just say that if I thought he would be the one laying his hands on me I wouldn’t have gone to the altar. That’s not why I went. I didn’t go to the altar to receive anything in particular. I mean, if the guest preacher wanted to lay hands on me that was fine. But I actually went to give myself as a living sacrifice to God. So I was offended when I heard dude standing in front of me, but not to the point where I lost focus.
Anyway…..so I went back to my seat and continued worshipping the Lord. But I gotta admit…..I was offended. Cause I’m really particular of who I allow to lay their hands on me. So as everyone was worshipping, dude (the moderator) takes over from the guest preacher and starts running back and forth through the church pointing people out for them to come back up to the altar so that he could pray for them again. Not that many, just a hand-picked few he was calling out. He was in this really aggressive bear-like type of mode which was clearly working out of self-motive. So we all watched as he grabbed his chosen person, making them fall to the floor as if the power in him was so great that the anointing made them fall. I wasn’t buying it. Cause I know the flow of the Holy Spirit and it clearly wasn’t controlling dude. I mean, when the anointing is high and the Holy Spirit is working in an individual, that person can blow and folk will fall out. I know cause it happened to me. But that wasn’t the case with dude. He was pushing people down on the floor cause they weren’t falling under the power in which he obviously didn’t realize was being blocked by self. So again, I wasn’t buying it.
So then dude did the OH NO. He moved the first few rows of people from his view to get my attention and then he motioned for me to come to the altar so that he could put his hands on me. Ummmm…….wrong person. I ain’t the one dude. So, not trying to be disobedient, but my body wasn’t responding and so I didn’t move. Cause I wasn’t led to move. So I did stand up cause I didn’t want to be outwardly disobedient, but I wasn’t walking. Noticing my reluctance, dude got so angry with me that he put his hands up to me and walks the other way as if to say………… “oh you think you all that…..well I don’t want you anyway.” It was quite embarrassing and I really felt bad.
As I rode home from church I was flushed. Not because I had rejected dude, but because when I enter into the Lord’s house all bullcrap stays outside. Really it does. I don’t like to bring foolishness in my place of worship; neither do I like to be caught up in other folk’s foolishness in church. I mean, we can bicker and fight outside, but when we come into the Lord’s house……that mess needs to stop. In fact, I look to be changed once I leave and so if there’s any foolishness prior, then it’s my mission to allow the Lord to handle it. But the foolishness with dude happened inside the sanctuary………(deep breath). I can’t to the life of me understand why he would look past all those people and pull me out. It was almost as if he was trying to impress me or prove something. I don’t know…..perhaps he was led by the Lord. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I prayed and I asked the Lord that if I was wrong (in which I’m all for accountability) that His grace and mercy catch me. And I wholeheartedly believe that I wasn’t wrong. And so I’m proceeding in that.
Soooooo…….it takes me to my point; the thing that’s really on my mind today. Am I the only one who feels like blessings are voided from messenger to messenger????? I mean, why is it that we have to keep going to the altar for the same issue. I’m speaking about those of us who are supposed to be walking in the counsel of the Lord. I mean, if my pastor called an altar call last Sunday for those who wanted peace in their marriages and he prays and commands peace in the marriage and we supposedly receive it, then why do we need to go back to the altar next Sunday for the same thing???? I mean, is last week’s prayer voided???? I mean, why can’t we just walk in faith from what we received last week.
That’s kinda how I felt with dude praying for me twice. And not just him, but it happens all the time. Unless I’m in a backsliding position and need to be reconciled with the Lord, I’m good. If I’ve already claimed salvation, but then if I get sick……I’m healed. The Word of God tells us this. I mean, why does every time the pastor (or whoever) is led to call for a particular prayer we need to keep responding over and over????? Is it that we really don’t believe?????
A good example of this was just recently. A couple of weeks ago, my pastor had given the church a prophecy that for the months of May, June, and July the church was going to see a harvest in their finances because of what we have sown in ministry over the years. And so he told us that financial blessings would just appear out of weird places because of our diligence in giving. Great. I received this cause I had already felt it in my Spirit. And because I’m one who gives wholeheartedly and not because I’m obligated, but because I love to give.
But then dude, the moderator, gets up to collect the offering and basically says that if we don’t give a certain amount of money then our financial blessings will be interrupted for the next few months. Hold up, wait a minute!!!! Does that mean that what my pastor said a few weeks ago is voided????? Well, just as dude knew he would do…..he scared the living daylights out of most of the folk and they started pulling out their checkbooks.
You know what……I think one of the biggest lacks we’re missing in the Body of Christ is learning how to walk in faith. We walk long enough to see that things aren’t working on our timing, or we get tripped up from doubting God. And so we begin to take matters in our own hands, somehow ending up back at the altar due to confusion. But our prayers and God’s blessings don’t have an expiration date. His gifts come without repentance. I see this time and time again.
I remember when me and my two girlfriends gave our lives to Christ together back in the early nineties. And every Sunday when it was time for the altar call the three of us would be on the altar for…….well we really didn’t know why--lol. We joke about it today. But I guess we were looking at others walk and it made it seem like our walk was wrong. So we would go and cry on the altar Sunday after Sunday. I don’t know why. But then one Sunday we all got up to go, but I sat back down. I had decided that I wasn’t going. That I was tired of going to the altar for every little thing. I realized that I needed to learn how to walk in repentance. And more importantly, I had to understand that the power the Lord placed in the pastor and other leaders was also in me. I just needed to activate it. Well, actually I didn’t know it then, but I really just needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit—lol.
You know I’ve said this more than enough times, but we as Believers have to understand that we answer to GOD. We also have to understand that God has given us the power and that until we accept the authority He has given us we will continue to be in “victim” mode----falling prey to anything and anybody claiming to know God better than we do. There is NOTHING that nobody can tell me about my relationship with God that He hasn’t already spoken to me. And though I respect authority, and honor leadership, it all boils down to what God has spoken to ME. At the end of the day….I’m the one held accountable.
“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. –John 5:7-9
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Crossing Over
Awww man. So much is going through my head. This week alone has brought so much to the forefront for me. I think it started a couple of weeks ago though. At least coming to the forefront.
I was in prayer and so I’m learning that after I pray I need to remain still and listen to God speak. To hear Him respond to my worship. Normally, I listen to the Lord’s voice by revelations in so many other ways like through His Word, prophecies, signs and wonders, people, feelings in my Spirit, etc. But rarely do I sit still to listen to His voice. Well, this particular night that I was praying I did just that. I laid real quiet in my bedroom in the dark not making one sound, shutting all outside noise out so that I could meditate on Him and listen to Him speak. After a few minutes I heard Him. And I was a little shocked at what He said. What He told me was that the project I’ve been working on, in which I firmly believe it is to glorify the kingdom of God, He told me to hold off on it. At first I was confused because when I tell you that I‘ve been working diligently on this project you‘ve got to believe me. I mean daily a piece of the project comes together. But I am obedient so I stopped as instructed.
Not necessarily confused, but for the last few weeks I’ve been wondering why would the Lord have me halt a project that I firmly believe He told me to do. But then I remembered what His voice spoke to me and what He actually said was to “hold off“, not stop the project for good. So you know me……I’ve been in expecting mode cause surely if the Lord gave me orders it was because He is preparing me for something greater.
So just like clockwork……the Lord’s timing is impeccable. Last week a “proposal” came through that has the potential of fulfilling my lifelong dream. The funny thing is that the “proposal” is the big picture, the umbrella. And the project in which the Lord told me to hold off on could easily fit under this umbrella. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it…it was necessary for me to do the framework of the smaller project because now the bigger project will kinda fall into purpose. In other words, the smaller project drives the bigger project.
Since thinking about this proposal…..day in and day out, doors have been flying open. And it really feels good in my Spirit in which I rely on to make ALL of my life decisions. This week alone, opportunities aligning with the proposal have come to me. But something is weird. I can’t say that its fear, but almost like a “I am comfortable in the state I am” type of feeling.
The funny thing is that all week I’ve been hearing messages about getting to where God would have us to be. Joyce Meyer spoke about the “in between”. That dry land in which the Lord opened the sea so that he could take the Israelites from the pit to the promised land. It’s that stepping out on faith message that I talk a good game about but when its my time to take action I come up with excuses. Not that I don’t want to get to where God wants me, but the process ain’t always peaches and cream--lol.
So last night I went to see Mint Condition in concert at the Baltimore Harbor, me and my youngest sister. I love those boys because in addition to being authentic musicians their music speaks about being faithful men to, and loving, their partners. I’ve always supported these guys cause they’re truly fulfilling their calling. Anyway…..when the show was almost over they gave their testimony of how a couple of years ago their record company dropped them from the label and how the execs basically told them that without a record deal it would be impossible for them to publicize their music. First, its not secret especially with all the hoopla going on with the Black radio. But if you don’t have the right connections you can’t get your music played. And second, to promote music it takes money and usually it’s the record companies who promote the artists.
But Stokley and the boyz weren’t convinced. They knew/know the gift and talent in which the Lord gave them. And if the Lord brought them to it He will sure bring them through it. Long story short, they stepped out on faith by creating their own independent record label and have been flying high ever since. They said it was the best and most liberating move they could have made.
Ironically, as I’m sitting at the concert taking in all of what they’d said while enjoying their music, the lady who was sitting next to me begins chatting. Actually we had been chatting all night. And so the conversation was really good and she even was conversing with my sister. But then she hands us her business card. And when I read it I got chills. It was confirmation. To step out. To just STEP out.
Of course the concert was on my mind all night. And so my girlfriend called to see how it was. As we were talking about music, life, and other stuff she made a statement in which I say mentally all the time. She said that she’s just basically trying to stay afloat. Normally I’d agreed, but this morning I couldn’t. Cause I think I’m tired of just floating. I thought about my girlfriend's comment all day long. Then I came to the realization that I’ve been “staying afloat” for the last ten years, but now its time to catch the boat in which the Lord is sending my way. Better yet, I feel a little bold and so I may just start walking on the water as Peter attempted to do. My desire is to definitely get to the other side. To the side in which God can use my gifts and talents to the best of my ability and for His glory. Unfortunately, I haven’t been using them to the best.
If that’s not enough, I was watching Notorious, the story of slain rapper Biggie Smalls, and all through the movie I kept hearing what P. Diddy said to Biggie. I counted TWICE P. Diddy saying it to Biggie, and the last time Biggie said it to his crew. He said……..…. “In order to change the world, we have to change ourselves.” Hmmmm……..I think I’m ready to make that change.
….Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?……” --Matthew 16:8-9
I was in prayer and so I’m learning that after I pray I need to remain still and listen to God speak. To hear Him respond to my worship. Normally, I listen to the Lord’s voice by revelations in so many other ways like through His Word, prophecies, signs and wonders, people, feelings in my Spirit, etc. But rarely do I sit still to listen to His voice. Well, this particular night that I was praying I did just that. I laid real quiet in my bedroom in the dark not making one sound, shutting all outside noise out so that I could meditate on Him and listen to Him speak. After a few minutes I heard Him. And I was a little shocked at what He said. What He told me was that the project I’ve been working on, in which I firmly believe it is to glorify the kingdom of God, He told me to hold off on it. At first I was confused because when I tell you that I‘ve been working diligently on this project you‘ve got to believe me. I mean daily a piece of the project comes together. But I am obedient so I stopped as instructed.
Not necessarily confused, but for the last few weeks I’ve been wondering why would the Lord have me halt a project that I firmly believe He told me to do. But then I remembered what His voice spoke to me and what He actually said was to “hold off“, not stop the project for good. So you know me……I’ve been in expecting mode cause surely if the Lord gave me orders it was because He is preparing me for something greater.
So just like clockwork……the Lord’s timing is impeccable. Last week a “proposal” came through that has the potential of fulfilling my lifelong dream. The funny thing is that the “proposal” is the big picture, the umbrella. And the project in which the Lord told me to hold off on could easily fit under this umbrella. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it…it was necessary for me to do the framework of the smaller project because now the bigger project will kinda fall into purpose. In other words, the smaller project drives the bigger project.
Since thinking about this proposal…..day in and day out, doors have been flying open. And it really feels good in my Spirit in which I rely on to make ALL of my life decisions. This week alone, opportunities aligning with the proposal have come to me. But something is weird. I can’t say that its fear, but almost like a “I am comfortable in the state I am” type of feeling.
The funny thing is that all week I’ve been hearing messages about getting to where God would have us to be. Joyce Meyer spoke about the “in between”. That dry land in which the Lord opened the sea so that he could take the Israelites from the pit to the promised land. It’s that stepping out on faith message that I talk a good game about but when its my time to take action I come up with excuses. Not that I don’t want to get to where God wants me, but the process ain’t always peaches and cream--lol.
So last night I went to see Mint Condition in concert at the Baltimore Harbor, me and my youngest sister. I love those boys because in addition to being authentic musicians their music speaks about being faithful men to, and loving, their partners. I’ve always supported these guys cause they’re truly fulfilling their calling. Anyway…..when the show was almost over they gave their testimony of how a couple of years ago their record company dropped them from the label and how the execs basically told them that without a record deal it would be impossible for them to publicize their music. First, its not secret especially with all the hoopla going on with the Black radio. But if you don’t have the right connections you can’t get your music played. And second, to promote music it takes money and usually it’s the record companies who promote the artists.
But Stokley and the boyz weren’t convinced. They knew/know the gift and talent in which the Lord gave them. And if the Lord brought them to it He will sure bring them through it. Long story short, they stepped out on faith by creating their own independent record label and have been flying high ever since. They said it was the best and most liberating move they could have made.
Ironically, as I’m sitting at the concert taking in all of what they’d said while enjoying their music, the lady who was sitting next to me begins chatting. Actually we had been chatting all night. And so the conversation was really good and she even was conversing with my sister. But then she hands us her business card. And when I read it I got chills. It was confirmation. To step out. To just STEP out.
Of course the concert was on my mind all night. And so my girlfriend called to see how it was. As we were talking about music, life, and other stuff she made a statement in which I say mentally all the time. She said that she’s just basically trying to stay afloat. Normally I’d agreed, but this morning I couldn’t. Cause I think I’m tired of just floating. I thought about my girlfriend's comment all day long. Then I came to the realization that I’ve been “staying afloat” for the last ten years, but now its time to catch the boat in which the Lord is sending my way. Better yet, I feel a little bold and so I may just start walking on the water as Peter attempted to do. My desire is to definitely get to the other side. To the side in which God can use my gifts and talents to the best of my ability and for His glory. Unfortunately, I haven’t been using them to the best.
If that’s not enough, I was watching Notorious, the story of slain rapper Biggie Smalls, and all through the movie I kept hearing what P. Diddy said to Biggie. I counted TWICE P. Diddy saying it to Biggie, and the last time Biggie said it to his crew. He said……..…. “In order to change the world, we have to change ourselves.” Hmmmm……..I think I’m ready to make that change.
….Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?……” --Matthew 16:8-9
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Whole Sum
I now know why I blog. Really, I do. Ok, so today I was having a casual conversation with a colleague and it turned a little serious. Actually, I was a little disappointed. For a number of reasons.
I don’t even know how to express this, so as usual……please bear with me. The funny thing is that I don’t even know how me and my colleague got on the conversation that lead to my “enlightening moment”. Ok, I think I remember now. My colleague was telling me about her cousin who attends a church that is held in a hotel ballroom. She first started by saying that when she visited it didn’t feel like church….because of its location. So I questioned it. I mean, I’ve had church in a number of buildings from hotel ballrooms to a converted department store to office space to a warehouse. Even on a cruise!!! As long as the anointing is there then church is church to me. We are the church, not the building. Anyway……
So after I explained…..my colleague then went on to say that her cousin’s church is really weird. That they are obsessed with being a Christian. She referred to them as “fanatics”. She said that she can’t even have a conversation with her cousin without her cousin quoting a scripture or bringing up God. I really wanted to understand because I do know that there are “religious” folk out there who seems to be trying to prove something to themselves while “witnessing” to others. So I listened. Trying not to pass judgment on anybody, especially a sister-in-Christ that I have never even met. So I listened.
After about ten minutes into this deep conversation, my colleague saw that I wasn’t responding in total agreement, so she started giving me examples. Basically saying that her cousin has become judgmental, and self-righteous, and doesn’t know how to go out and have a good time, and everything she does and says is about God….yada, yada. And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks. When she said it I knew that it was time to end the conversation. She said…….. “I mean, I don’t want to talk about God ALL the time.” And she said it as if she was saying…….. “I mean, I don’t want to talk about men ALL the time”. You know that conversation we women can get stuck in before one of us gets fed up thinking about our last no good relationship---lol. Yes, that one. It was the same tone. So I basically stated that we obviously have a difference of opinion and that I had to get ready for my dental appointment.
After we parted I felt really disappointed. More like hurt. Cause this colleague is one that claims to love the Lord and claims to really have “strong faith”. I mean, I’ve seen some things she’s done, and heard some things she’s said that made me raise an eyebrow or two. But we’re both growing in the Lord and so we’re entitled to “slip-ups” as long as we don’t stay there. But to now hear her say that she doesn’t want to talk about God ALL the time……wow. I mean, supposed the Lord said to her that He doesn’t want to hear her deepest prayers ALL the time. Or that He doesn’t want to bless her ALL the time. I’m sorry. I’m really venting here---lol.
I mean, I know we all make mistakes and fall. But personally, I can’t stay down for long cause I HATE being out of God’s presence. And I hate the thought of disappointing the Lord. And so my actions and reactions about my Christian journey are expressed all the time to her. Especially at my most vulnerable times. And at my happiest times. I go to her and we talk. About God. And she seems to accept it. I mean, I thought it was safe for me to chat with her about something spectacular that the Lord did for me in my life. And for the most part, that’s daily. Daily I give her a praise report. Because she seemed to be interested. Now I’m feeling otherwise. Like maybe I’ve been backing her in a corner and she doesn’t know how to tell me that she isn’t really interested in hearing what I have to say. Maybe she’s using her cousin as an excuse. I don’t know. And I’m not gonna let my mind lean on its own understanding. Really, I’m not.
Oh, its coming back to me now. She mentioned that her cousin doesn’t have “balance” and that Christians need to have “balance”. Can I say something about balance?????? Why do folk seem to think that balance is God on the left and fun on the right. That’s soooo not balance. That's being totally lopsided---lol. If "church-goers" think this is what balance is...no wonder they keep falling--lol. Anyway.....she even went as far as to say that her cousin was living too far to the left---lolol. Its really not funny, but I gotta laugh to prevent myself from crying. Really, I do.
Ok, when I think of balance I think of mind, body, and Spirit. That’s what we humans are made of. The image of God. Some say soul instead of Spirit, and I guess that’s fine since the Spirit lives in the soul. Anyway, in order for us to maintain properly in this world as humans we have to have all three of these parts of us in action. That’s why you’ll see lots of folk on a daily workout regime to work their body, and going to school to work their mind, and having some type of spirituality to work their soul. Yes, yes…..your soul can be sold to the devil---lol. But this is where a lot of folk practice all types of religions. Cause they need that third part of them to be fulfilled. But unfortunately, when you don’t have Christ these three parts operate on self motives. That’s why you’ll hear of “successful” folk committing suicide. Or beautiful supermodels being depressed. Cause their being is all working against each other.
But this is the thing…….
When you give yourself TOTALLY to God-----your mind, body, and Spirit becomes ONE under HIS authority. So the body aspect becomes much deeper than just going to the gym. It becomes a will over the flesh. And self-control. And the mind thing becomes more than just picking up a textbook, it becomes practicing prudence and having the mind of Christ. And the Spirit……well you know what that is. That’s pure worship to God. Wholeheartedly walking in the Holy Spirit. So when a Christian submits their total self to God and all parts are operating……mind, body, and soul……that’s balance. And God is operating in and ALL parts. Because He’s ONE with us. He’s the sum total!! How can you have God on one side of your life and the world on the other side. Wow!!!! I’m getting a revelation as I’m writing this. It just proves how twisted we’ve become. Just going to church ain’t gonna do it. One has to live, breathe, eat, talk………God. God is in me. He lives IN ME. How can I not live, breathe, eat, talk……God. A true Christian really has no choice. Not fanatically, but just because God is embedded in our being. I can’t even give an analogy because God’s greatness is Supreme. There’s no other and nothing else that can compare.
I gotta tell you…….there’s not a minute that goes by that my thoughts ain’t on Christ. I’m in LUUUUV with God. And if I can walk all day quoting Bible scriptures and singing praise songs I would. So to some degree I kinda understand my colleague‘s cousin. But I can’t always express my feelings verbally. Out loud. So I live it in my walk. And you better believe that just because it doesn’t come out of my mouth at any given moment, doesn’t mean that its not in my thoughts. I LUUUV thinking about Jesus. I LUUUUV talking about Jesus. And I LUUUUUV hearing other folk talk about the goodness of God. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend over the weekend and she said it too how she loves talking about the Lord. She and I can go HOURS talking about the Lord. Especially as we’re growing in Him and discovering how He’s speaking to us---giving revelations. Just how He’s operating in our lives. And so many times we chat just on some of the most amazing things that happened to us over the course of the week. She’ll tell me things and I’ll get excited, and vice versa. And when we hang up, I feel so refreshed and replenished. It’s a wonderful feeling.
But my inner circle (all who too love the Lord--yay!) are not always around. So when I got something deep on my mind…….I blog. That’s what this blog is---my Christian walk. It’s purely for me to tell about the goodness of the Lord to whoever wants to listen. Cause I always got a testimony to tell---lol. And whoever doesn’t want to ALWAYS hear me talking about the Lord then they don’t have to log on. It’s that simple.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. --Colossians 3:2
I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. --Romans 6:19
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. --Romans 8:9
I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes....... --Romans 1:16
I don’t even know how to express this, so as usual……please bear with me. The funny thing is that I don’t even know how me and my colleague got on the conversation that lead to my “enlightening moment”. Ok, I think I remember now. My colleague was telling me about her cousin who attends a church that is held in a hotel ballroom. She first started by saying that when she visited it didn’t feel like church….because of its location. So I questioned it. I mean, I’ve had church in a number of buildings from hotel ballrooms to a converted department store to office space to a warehouse. Even on a cruise!!! As long as the anointing is there then church is church to me. We are the church, not the building. Anyway……
So after I explained…..my colleague then went on to say that her cousin’s church is really weird. That they are obsessed with being a Christian. She referred to them as “fanatics”. She said that she can’t even have a conversation with her cousin without her cousin quoting a scripture or bringing up God. I really wanted to understand because I do know that there are “religious” folk out there who seems to be trying to prove something to themselves while “witnessing” to others. So I listened. Trying not to pass judgment on anybody, especially a sister-in-Christ that I have never even met. So I listened.
After about ten minutes into this deep conversation, my colleague saw that I wasn’t responding in total agreement, so she started giving me examples. Basically saying that her cousin has become judgmental, and self-righteous, and doesn’t know how to go out and have a good time, and everything she does and says is about God….yada, yada. And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks. When she said it I knew that it was time to end the conversation. She said…….. “I mean, I don’t want to talk about God ALL the time.” And she said it as if she was saying…….. “I mean, I don’t want to talk about men ALL the time”. You know that conversation we women can get stuck in before one of us gets fed up thinking about our last no good relationship---lol. Yes, that one. It was the same tone. So I basically stated that we obviously have a difference of opinion and that I had to get ready for my dental appointment.
After we parted I felt really disappointed. More like hurt. Cause this colleague is one that claims to love the Lord and claims to really have “strong faith”. I mean, I’ve seen some things she’s done, and heard some things she’s said that made me raise an eyebrow or two. But we’re both growing in the Lord and so we’re entitled to “slip-ups” as long as we don’t stay there. But to now hear her say that she doesn’t want to talk about God ALL the time……wow. I mean, supposed the Lord said to her that He doesn’t want to hear her deepest prayers ALL the time. Or that He doesn’t want to bless her ALL the time. I’m sorry. I’m really venting here---lol.
I mean, I know we all make mistakes and fall. But personally, I can’t stay down for long cause I HATE being out of God’s presence. And I hate the thought of disappointing the Lord. And so my actions and reactions about my Christian journey are expressed all the time to her. Especially at my most vulnerable times. And at my happiest times. I go to her and we talk. About God. And she seems to accept it. I mean, I thought it was safe for me to chat with her about something spectacular that the Lord did for me in my life. And for the most part, that’s daily. Daily I give her a praise report. Because she seemed to be interested. Now I’m feeling otherwise. Like maybe I’ve been backing her in a corner and she doesn’t know how to tell me that she isn’t really interested in hearing what I have to say. Maybe she’s using her cousin as an excuse. I don’t know. And I’m not gonna let my mind lean on its own understanding. Really, I’m not.
Oh, its coming back to me now. She mentioned that her cousin doesn’t have “balance” and that Christians need to have “balance”. Can I say something about balance?????? Why do folk seem to think that balance is God on the left and fun on the right. That’s soooo not balance. That's being totally lopsided---lol. If "church-goers" think this is what balance is...no wonder they keep falling--lol. Anyway.....she even went as far as to say that her cousin was living too far to the left---lolol. Its really not funny, but I gotta laugh to prevent myself from crying. Really, I do.
Ok, when I think of balance I think of mind, body, and Spirit. That’s what we humans are made of. The image of God. Some say soul instead of Spirit, and I guess that’s fine since the Spirit lives in the soul. Anyway, in order for us to maintain properly in this world as humans we have to have all three of these parts of us in action. That’s why you’ll see lots of folk on a daily workout regime to work their body, and going to school to work their mind, and having some type of spirituality to work their soul. Yes, yes…..your soul can be sold to the devil---lol. But this is where a lot of folk practice all types of religions. Cause they need that third part of them to be fulfilled. But unfortunately, when you don’t have Christ these three parts operate on self motives. That’s why you’ll hear of “successful” folk committing suicide. Or beautiful supermodels being depressed. Cause their being is all working against each other.
But this is the thing…….
When you give yourself TOTALLY to God-----your mind, body, and Spirit becomes ONE under HIS authority. So the body aspect becomes much deeper than just going to the gym. It becomes a will over the flesh. And self-control. And the mind thing becomes more than just picking up a textbook, it becomes practicing prudence and having the mind of Christ. And the Spirit……well you know what that is. That’s pure worship to God. Wholeheartedly walking in the Holy Spirit. So when a Christian submits their total self to God and all parts are operating……mind, body, and soul……that’s balance. And God is operating in and ALL parts. Because He’s ONE with us. He’s the sum total!! How can you have God on one side of your life and the world on the other side. Wow!!!! I’m getting a revelation as I’m writing this. It just proves how twisted we’ve become. Just going to church ain’t gonna do it. One has to live, breathe, eat, talk………God. God is in me. He lives IN ME. How can I not live, breathe, eat, talk……God. A true Christian really has no choice. Not fanatically, but just because God is embedded in our being. I can’t even give an analogy because God’s greatness is Supreme. There’s no other and nothing else that can compare.
I gotta tell you…….there’s not a minute that goes by that my thoughts ain’t on Christ. I’m in LUUUUV with God. And if I can walk all day quoting Bible scriptures and singing praise songs I would. So to some degree I kinda understand my colleague‘s cousin. But I can’t always express my feelings verbally. Out loud. So I live it in my walk. And you better believe that just because it doesn’t come out of my mouth at any given moment, doesn’t mean that its not in my thoughts. I LUUUV thinking about Jesus. I LUUUUV talking about Jesus. And I LUUUUUV hearing other folk talk about the goodness of God. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend over the weekend and she said it too how she loves talking about the Lord. She and I can go HOURS talking about the Lord. Especially as we’re growing in Him and discovering how He’s speaking to us---giving revelations. Just how He’s operating in our lives. And so many times we chat just on some of the most amazing things that happened to us over the course of the week. She’ll tell me things and I’ll get excited, and vice versa. And when we hang up, I feel so refreshed and replenished. It’s a wonderful feeling.
But my inner circle (all who too love the Lord--yay!) are not always around. So when I got something deep on my mind…….I blog. That’s what this blog is---my Christian walk. It’s purely for me to tell about the goodness of the Lord to whoever wants to listen. Cause I always got a testimony to tell---lol. And whoever doesn’t want to ALWAYS hear me talking about the Lord then they don’t have to log on. It’s that simple.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. --Colossians 3:2
I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. --Romans 6:19
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. --Romans 8:9
I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes....... --Romans 1:16
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
Can’t believe its Sunday already. Seems like my weekend just started. And now I’m doing my Sunday thingy already……..preparing for the week. This week shouldn’t be bad though cause next week is a three-day weekend---yaaaay!!
So this afternoon I watched the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms on VH1. Some of the moms featured were Bow Wow, Missy Elliott, Ashanti, Lindsay Lohan, Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, and Ne-Yo’s moms. Wow. Don’t know what to say. Actually I know what I’m thinking but I don’t know how to put it in words. So bear with me--lol. I guess if I was shallow and insecure I’d be made to feel like either I should have a wealthy child that would spoil me with super expensive gifts or………that I wish I was even a mommy. Can’t say that both wouldn’t be nice, but when I stopped to really analyze those “super spoiled” mothers something deeper was revealed.
Having a career in marriage education is really something so much deeper than me. It’s really a calling from God. Many times throughout my day--even on the weekends--the Lord will reveal certain things to me concerning relationships and marriage. And usually, when He gives me revelations it almost hits me over the head like a bag of apples. It be just that deep.
As I was watching the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms something was revealed. Don’t know if you’ve watched the show, are familiar with these celebrities and their moms, or…..even care--lol. But there’s much publicity out there about these moms because they have a huge stake in their children’s careers, in addition to being their moms. And so as a result…..these woman are showered with mansions, luxury cars, diamonds, furs, exotic vacations, businesses and so on. One “super spoiled” mom was given a church from her celebrity son. YES….a church!!! They showed her in the pulpit preaching. But what was revealed to me is that most, if not all, of these moms are unmarried. Hmmmmm……
Wow…..where do I start this one…..lol. Ok, let me say this……..are we suppose to be submitting to the authority of our children???????? Ok, I didn’t think so. I mean, these women, and lots more out there including Beyonce’s mother, Usher’s mother, and countless others have dedicated their entire lives around their children’s “purpose”. But I firmly believe that this is not the true will of God.
As powerful as Jesus was as an earthly man, Mary, His momma, still knew her purpose and place. When Jesus was doing His thing with the disciples and in His ministry, Mary had a very limited role. I mean, she was still the mother of Jesus and made us clear of that, but she didn’t interfere with what God had commissioned for her Son. Cause had she did……..He would not have gone to the cross. Ok, let’s just be real---lol. But Mary, too had a higher calling. And she had to answer to God. She was also a mother to other children and the wife of Joseph. And so she handled her purpose well.
So as I was watching VH1, I couldn’t help to think of how satan has tricked us, yet again. Now using the sacred relationship between a mother and child. Cause as long as our children can “provide” for us……we don’t really need a man. Hello! Many times, women who are single who have “powerful” children, they can’t even bring a man into their world unless the children approves. And on the flip side……if the momma is playing “first lady”, the children can’t even bring a potential mate in if the momma doesn’t approve. And you know when momma plays first lady the requirements are ridiculously SUPER HIGH. Not all men will take the plunge like Usher. I tip my hat to brotha man. Really I do. Because it’s such a twisted and conniving trick of the enemy. As I was watching, I couldn’t help but to wonder if all the mothers would trade all of their luxury for a good man. A good Godly man. Probably. But probably not. It’s a continuous lopsided, unbalanced cycle. And for some reason we’ve tricked ourselves into being proud of this. And so we portray the image as if its okay. Cause money and fame have become the cure all. Umph.
You know what…….according to Genesis 1, after God had provided all of our earthly needs, he then created man. And the first gift that He gave man was a WIFE. The first gift!!!! Not anything monetary, but commitment. The gift of a bond. Of love. A priceless gift. The Word talks about the duty of a husband and a wife, and their purpose and mission on this earth. THEY are the partners called to duty for God’s purpose. A husband and wife relationship is the only relationship that God allows to be equivalent to Him and the church. Any other relationship becomes idolatry. And if we’re not careful, we can put other people and things in a place where we worship them. Like our children. We were not put on earth to submit to the authority of our children. They are not to be partners with us. Its man and woman. HUSBAND AND WIFE. Period.
Ok, don’t get me wrong I know the struggles of a mother who had to raise a child alone. Really I do. I was born into a single-parent household. And so the more I hear about it, especially the moms who are raising very good kids into very good adults, I tear up. I have sisters and girlfriends who are doing this. And doing it well. But not by choice, but by circumstances. I believe that most women who bring children in the world alone started their relationship hoping for the best. I know my loved ones did. And truth be told….I could’ve been in this same predicament myself had it not been for God’s grace. So I tip my hats and salute ALL the single mommas.
But unfortunately, what is happening is that because we have to take up responsibility on both sides…….its becoming very unclear where to draw the line. As a result, we end up becoming our children’s EVERYTHING. Even spilling into their adulthood and making major decisions in their adult lives. But guess what……….its not supposed to be this way. Not according to God’s divine purpose. Even if we are married……we have to trust God with our children’s lives because they too have a purpose and mission. And I doubt it has anything to do with their mommas--lol.
I often wonder what type of mother I’ll be. Well, if it is any indication from the protection I have over my nieces and nephews then………wow. But I know that I need a husband in order to parent. I can’t do it alone. Cause I would get on my child’s nerves---lol. My child would probably divorce me----lol. Cause I’d probably smother them and be overprotective. Yes, my children will need the balance--lol. Ok, I should say that I will need the balance---lol. I’ma need my husband to say……. “baby, chill out…..I got this!!”
But I look forward to being a mother. Really, I do. I don’t talk about it much cause…....well cause I just don’t---lol. But I do want to be a mommy. I have this saying that I ALWAYS say though. It’s…….thank God for my baby……but its his daddy I want--lol. In other words……thank God for the gift, but it’s the GIVER that I want.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. --Genesis 2:24
………For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” --Matthew 19:5-6
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife…… --Mark 10:7
So this afternoon I watched the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms on VH1. Some of the moms featured were Bow Wow, Missy Elliott, Ashanti, Lindsay Lohan, Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, and Ne-Yo’s moms. Wow. Don’t know what to say. Actually I know what I’m thinking but I don’t know how to put it in words. So bear with me--lol. I guess if I was shallow and insecure I’d be made to feel like either I should have a wealthy child that would spoil me with super expensive gifts or………that I wish I was even a mommy. Can’t say that both wouldn’t be nice, but when I stopped to really analyze those “super spoiled” mothers something deeper was revealed.
Having a career in marriage education is really something so much deeper than me. It’s really a calling from God. Many times throughout my day--even on the weekends--the Lord will reveal certain things to me concerning relationships and marriage. And usually, when He gives me revelations it almost hits me over the head like a bag of apples. It be just that deep.
As I was watching the Fabulous Life of Super Spoiled Stage Moms something was revealed. Don’t know if you’ve watched the show, are familiar with these celebrities and their moms, or…..even care--lol. But there’s much publicity out there about these moms because they have a huge stake in their children’s careers, in addition to being their moms. And so as a result…..these woman are showered with mansions, luxury cars, diamonds, furs, exotic vacations, businesses and so on. One “super spoiled” mom was given a church from her celebrity son. YES….a church!!! They showed her in the pulpit preaching. But what was revealed to me is that most, if not all, of these moms are unmarried. Hmmmmm……
Wow…..where do I start this one…..lol. Ok, let me say this……..are we suppose to be submitting to the authority of our children???????? Ok, I didn’t think so. I mean, these women, and lots more out there including Beyonce’s mother, Usher’s mother, and countless others have dedicated their entire lives around their children’s “purpose”. But I firmly believe that this is not the true will of God.
As powerful as Jesus was as an earthly man, Mary, His momma, still knew her purpose and place. When Jesus was doing His thing with the disciples and in His ministry, Mary had a very limited role. I mean, she was still the mother of Jesus and made us clear of that, but she didn’t interfere with what God had commissioned for her Son. Cause had she did……..He would not have gone to the cross. Ok, let’s just be real---lol. But Mary, too had a higher calling. And she had to answer to God. She was also a mother to other children and the wife of Joseph. And so she handled her purpose well.
So as I was watching VH1, I couldn’t help to think of how satan has tricked us, yet again. Now using the sacred relationship between a mother and child. Cause as long as our children can “provide” for us……we don’t really need a man. Hello! Many times, women who are single who have “powerful” children, they can’t even bring a man into their world unless the children approves. And on the flip side……if the momma is playing “first lady”, the children can’t even bring a potential mate in if the momma doesn’t approve. And you know when momma plays first lady the requirements are ridiculously SUPER HIGH. Not all men will take the plunge like Usher. I tip my hat to brotha man. Really I do. Because it’s such a twisted and conniving trick of the enemy. As I was watching, I couldn’t help but to wonder if all the mothers would trade all of their luxury for a good man. A good Godly man. Probably. But probably not. It’s a continuous lopsided, unbalanced cycle. And for some reason we’ve tricked ourselves into being proud of this. And so we portray the image as if its okay. Cause money and fame have become the cure all. Umph.
You know what…….according to Genesis 1, after God had provided all of our earthly needs, he then created man. And the first gift that He gave man was a WIFE. The first gift!!!! Not anything monetary, but commitment. The gift of a bond. Of love. A priceless gift. The Word talks about the duty of a husband and a wife, and their purpose and mission on this earth. THEY are the partners called to duty for God’s purpose. A husband and wife relationship is the only relationship that God allows to be equivalent to Him and the church. Any other relationship becomes idolatry. And if we’re not careful, we can put other people and things in a place where we worship them. Like our children. We were not put on earth to submit to the authority of our children. They are not to be partners with us. Its man and woman. HUSBAND AND WIFE. Period.
Ok, don’t get me wrong I know the struggles of a mother who had to raise a child alone. Really I do. I was born into a single-parent household. And so the more I hear about it, especially the moms who are raising very good kids into very good adults, I tear up. I have sisters and girlfriends who are doing this. And doing it well. But not by choice, but by circumstances. I believe that most women who bring children in the world alone started their relationship hoping for the best. I know my loved ones did. And truth be told….I could’ve been in this same predicament myself had it not been for God’s grace. So I tip my hats and salute ALL the single mommas.
But unfortunately, what is happening is that because we have to take up responsibility on both sides…….its becoming very unclear where to draw the line. As a result, we end up becoming our children’s EVERYTHING. Even spilling into their adulthood and making major decisions in their adult lives. But guess what……….its not supposed to be this way. Not according to God’s divine purpose. Even if we are married……we have to trust God with our children’s lives because they too have a purpose and mission. And I doubt it has anything to do with their mommas--lol.
I often wonder what type of mother I’ll be. Well, if it is any indication from the protection I have over my nieces and nephews then………wow. But I know that I need a husband in order to parent. I can’t do it alone. Cause I would get on my child’s nerves---lol. My child would probably divorce me----lol. Cause I’d probably smother them and be overprotective. Yes, my children will need the balance--lol. Ok, I should say that I will need the balance---lol. I’ma need my husband to say……. “baby, chill out…..I got this!!”
But I look forward to being a mother. Really, I do. I don’t talk about it much cause…....well cause I just don’t---lol. But I do want to be a mommy. I have this saying that I ALWAYS say though. It’s…….thank God for my baby……but its his daddy I want--lol. In other words……thank God for the gift, but it’s the GIVER that I want.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. --Genesis 2:24
………For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” --Matthew 19:5-6
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife…… --Mark 10:7
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. --Ephesians 5:31
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Church Politics
I’ve got something heavy on my mind today. And I don’t really know how to express, so bear with me. Actually, it started when I woke up this morning. I was doing the usual as I was getting dressed---half watching, but fully listening to DayStar TV. Joyce Meyer had a guest on who was talking about love. And what the guest said was…..you can’t say you love God and not love the church. Yes, yes……I know this. I think. At least I thought I did.
He then went on to say that if you break down what love means, according to Corinthians, and apply every component to your feelings for the church then you’ll know if you really “love the church”. I tried this in an entry back in February, entitled A True Love, but I used people, not the church. So I gave the church a try this morning. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I was shocked, but I couldn’t get through a great part of the list. In fact, my feelings for the church actually go against love. I hate to feel like this…..but let me explain why I feel/felt this way.
First, I’m easily angered by the church. Cause they can do some stupid stuff. From my experience, it seems like it’s all based on money. Not to mention, the folk who sit in leadership positions that can’t even be cordial to us regular folk without thinking their make-up will smear or their image will be tainted. I can go forever about what angers me with the church.
Then, I haven’t been patient. My feelings are that the church needs to get it right, right now!!! I feel like there’s no excuse. NONE. Time is winding up. Again, it’s hard for me to be patient with an entity who can beg for money, get it, ask for more, and not completely serve the people.
Then, yes yes…..I can be rude. I have been at times. I remember going to a church and the pastor pointed me out and said that God said I was to join his church or I would die. YES, HE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THIS. And just as fast as he said it I responded faster, in front of the congregation, that I didn’t agree, nor did I accept it. And yes, I said it with an attitude. The truth of the matter, I probably would have joined the church if I hadn’t witnessed him prophesying over folk all to do with money and saying to them that they should give a certain dollar amount first before their prophecy would come to pass. Wait a minute, no I take that back--lol. I wouldn’t have joined the church cause I had proof that dude was sleeping with a few of the women in the church. So yes, when it comes down to foolishness, the rudeness can come out of me.
Then, I really have to admit this……I have kept record of wrong. I have a mental file cabinet of things that the church does that is contrary to the Word of God. And it keeps piling up. Maybe I think one day I can unload it all on God when we meet face-to-face. As if He doesn’t already know. Lol.
Then, I don’t trust the church. As soon as I get comfortable in a church thinking that they’re coming with pure Godly motives, I get hit with the bullcrap. Anything from trying to bamboozle me out of money to making me feel like I can never be closer to God like the church leaders. So I’ve become very guarded over the years.
Then, I don’t persevere. Any church bullcrap that I spot, I flee. Ain’t got time to be dealing with folk who are trying to hinder my worship with the Lord. Yes, I’ve been known to flee a church. Especially when I spot shadiness in the finance department.
Then, I don’t protect the church. I was reading an article yesterday about a pastor in Baltimore who admitted that he coerced a few of his handicapped members into making him the beneficiary of their insurance policies and then hired a hit man to kill them off. Of course the comments about the article were rampant. Most saying stuff like that’s why they don’t go to church and don’t trust pastors. And the more I read the more I concurred with the comments. I could’ve very well submitted a comment on the contrary, but I didn’t.
(Deep Breath)
So as I was listening to the guest on Joyce Meyer’s this morning, the Lord started convicting me. My heart was heavy and I felt bad. Cause my feelings toward the church have been very brutal. So I repented. But even as I’m writing, I think I’m still harboring some ill feelings. (Deep breath). Ok, so let me say this again, publicly:
I repent for disliking the church. And I say this wholeheartedly.
Okay, I don’t like the thought of me “disliking” the church. So I’ll say…….going against the church—if that sounds any better-lol. But to be honest, the Lord knows my heart, I luuuv the Body of Christ. But I get so disappointed when the church gets caught up in foolishness. It hurts my heart. Really it does. I think I can deal with anything from gays to divorce in the church, not that’s its right. But when it comes to mishandling honest people’s money…….my heart is not just pierced, but stabbed. And then the hurt turns into frustration and that’s when my patience runs out, and I can’t trust, and……... If there’s one issue that I could go Al Sharpton on…..it would be money and the church.
So today I got a phone call from a family friend whose husband is a new pastor in the area. And she was telling me that they were in the midst of filing their tax exempt status (501(c)3) as well as setting up several outreach ministries/programs in which they will be seeking funding for in the future. So of course I offered my support in helping to set up their programs since they have been such a blessing to me and my family over the years. In addition to that, they are truly committed to the things of God. Truly.
But then my antennas went up when she mentioned the 501(c)3 again. The thought of a church being formed as a corporation rubs me the WRONG way. So I listened and offered some off-the-top-of-my-head advice. Not really wanting to get into the nitty gritty of the issue because I couldn’t speak freely---at work. But I did ask her why she wanted to go the 501(c)3 route and she responded that most churches are established this way, especially the mega churches. I listened. Even before I knew all the ins and outs of managing a nonprofit (I have a master’s in nonprofit management and have worked for three major nonprofits), I know that when a church is operated under the auspices of a business, the Lord is being put on the backburner. Most church leaders don’t even realize this. It’s a deceitful lie that doesn’t appear wrong until a church is in a legal dispute. Then you hear some foolishness like…….. “business-is-business”.
When I got off the phone, it hit me. A lot of churches operate, as it seems, on the money agenda because they simply don’t know any better. Before I started writing this entry I made up in my mind that instead of going against the church, I would be obedient to the Lord in helping the church in every way I can. Especially when its issues that I know a little something about.
So as I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, let me make something clear as far as the church being established as a “nonprofit” entity. So if you’re in a church leadership position…..take notes.
According to the First Amendment……Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. And according to the law, a church that is established as a “church” is automatically exempt from taxation.
The 501(c)3 legal status was introduced in the 1950s by then Senator Lyndon B. Johnson. According to many, I don’t know cause I wasn’t born back then therefore have never heard dude speak on the issue, but its said that LBJ developed this IRS code because the church was having too much power in public policy. By establishing this, many say, LBJ was trying to silence the church. This certainly goes against the First Amendment as it concerns the church.
The church needs to understand that when they form as a corporation, they have given up their submission to God’s authority and become subject to that of the state. When filing for 501(c)3 status, a church is swearing to be governed by the state. Therefore, the state becomes the head and sovereign authority. No longer God. As a result, when certain issues arise like abortion and gays marrying (yeah, it’s headed to your state—lol), if your church is a corporation you are legally limited on what you can say even if the Lord has commanded you to speak. If you notice, not that many pastors are speaking out about gay marriage or any other social issue, publicly. And that’s for one or two reasons---lol.
But then there’s the issue of……..if a church doesn’t file as a nonprofit corporation then they will have to pay taxes. This is the biggest misconception that is out there. I mean, why does the church need to seek permission from a tax they didn’t owe to begin with????? The law automatically exempts churches without a 501(c)3 status. But an attorney will advise otherwise, for obvious reasons.
What I think, and this is just my opinion, but what I think churches do is try to prove to their members that they are “legit” by establishing as a 501(c)3. Unfortunately, this status brings “false” credibility because it tells a member that it is “safe” to financially contribute to a particular church when in fact most shadiness in church finances are done under the 501(c)3 status. In addition, its boasted that by having this status it allows the member to write their contributions off on their personal tax filings. But no need!!! The member can too still do this, even without the status. As long as a church is a CHURCH, and not a center as most churches are renaming themselves, then its covered. And furthermore, if that’s the only way a member is comfortable in giving to their church then perhaps their money may not be a good seed to be sown in that ministry. But all money has become green to the church, unfortunately.
As I’m writing this entry, I thought about a couple of years ago when several congressmen demanded to see the financial records of several mega-church ministries, Creflo Dollar’s ministry being one. It was very embarrassing and humiliating. And another notch in the world’s “let’s destroy the church by making them destroy themselves” agenda. It was very public. But then, I remember stumbling across an article that said when Creflo Dollar turned over his records (his ministry being one of the only, or first, to comply---can’t remember which one) they were almost squeaky clean. Very much in order. This article of course was very quiet. I’m sure not many had read it. Those senators demanding to see financial documentation like that was a prime example of being under the authority of the state. This should have been a wake-up call for many.
So then, why does a church really need to establish as a corporation as a (501(c)3)?? I mean, if its only benefit is to appease its members then why???? There is another “advantage”. It helps the church to get funding from the government and foundations. But again, that means the church is not just under the state’s headship, but now under the authority of the funding entity. Most funders won’t even look at a church if it’s not established as a legal corporation. Again, it’s a false sense of credibility where a lot of times greed falls into the trap.
I remember a girlfriend was telling me about an incident that happened to her church. She said that they had just established a program for the elderly and were excited. Many seniors from their neighborhood were involved and benefiting from the services, all while being ministered to. And so they were encouraged to apply for a grant. So they did. And they were awarded the grant, increasing the program and its services. A couple of months into the grant, this being very new to them, they were abruptly visited by one of the grants officers. The officer came in, demanded to see paperwork that they had no idea they needed to have, and because they didn’t have it their funding was immediately taken away.
Now don’t get me wrong………I’d be the first to say you need to have your stuff in order in ANY situation. ESPECIALLY since I monitor programs and do site visits for a living--lol. And more importantly, because the Word of God speaks about this. But in more than enough situations, the services are being provided as promised, but one little “default” and your ministry can be shut down without notice depending on where the money is coming from.
Now what has been really on the rise in the last few decades or so is the church purchasing up all types of real estate. From shopping centers to homes to vacation spots to mega buildings. And more than likely they are purchasing under their 501(c)3 status which allows for……….huge tax breaks. That's the whole purpose. And you know what kind of return you get on real estate. Its actually the biggest and safest investment. So yes…..the church is making money by using their corporation status as well. Its a very powerful status to have. But its at the expense of their souls. And again, most are not even aware of this. They think the government is helping them out. Umph.
Soooo what this all trickles down to is the church being governed by money, not being under the direct authority of God. And this is what has been eating me up for the last umpteen years. Even in the most innocent situations, money is ruling the church. There are churches whose pastors are fully aware of their greedy motives, and try to justify it with the Word of God. Can I make a news flash……..the inheritance God promised us is not earthly, and neither is His kingdom. I know of several churches that have leaders in place who are operating on self motives and are out of the will of God. And the pastor knows this. But because the leaders are heavy financial contributors they’re kept in place.
Look, bottomline…….I know the church needs money to pay for its daily necessities. But if we would all do our part as the Body of Christ, that’s serving unselfishly in ministry, spreading the authentic Gospel, giving of ourselves without looking for a return from the church, and truly trusting God to provide our needs (as well as the church’s needs)…….then we don’t have to be bound by the government or any other person or institution that’s trying to work above what God mandated in His covenant with His people. Just trust GOD to provide!! It’s that simple. And I’m down with that.
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. “ The more they increased, The more they sinned against Me; I will change their glory into shame. --Hosea 4:6-7
He then went on to say that if you break down what love means, according to Corinthians, and apply every component to your feelings for the church then you’ll know if you really “love the church”. I tried this in an entry back in February, entitled A True Love, but I used people, not the church. So I gave the church a try this morning. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I was shocked, but I couldn’t get through a great part of the list. In fact, my feelings for the church actually go against love. I hate to feel like this…..but let me explain why I feel/felt this way.
First, I’m easily angered by the church. Cause they can do some stupid stuff. From my experience, it seems like it’s all based on money. Not to mention, the folk who sit in leadership positions that can’t even be cordial to us regular folk without thinking their make-up will smear or their image will be tainted. I can go forever about what angers me with the church.
Then, I haven’t been patient. My feelings are that the church needs to get it right, right now!!! I feel like there’s no excuse. NONE. Time is winding up. Again, it’s hard for me to be patient with an entity who can beg for money, get it, ask for more, and not completely serve the people.
Then, yes yes…..I can be rude. I have been at times. I remember going to a church and the pastor pointed me out and said that God said I was to join his church or I would die. YES, HE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THIS. And just as fast as he said it I responded faster, in front of the congregation, that I didn’t agree, nor did I accept it. And yes, I said it with an attitude. The truth of the matter, I probably would have joined the church if I hadn’t witnessed him prophesying over folk all to do with money and saying to them that they should give a certain dollar amount first before their prophecy would come to pass. Wait a minute, no I take that back--lol. I wouldn’t have joined the church cause I had proof that dude was sleeping with a few of the women in the church. So yes, when it comes down to foolishness, the rudeness can come out of me.
Then, I really have to admit this……I have kept record of wrong. I have a mental file cabinet of things that the church does that is contrary to the Word of God. And it keeps piling up. Maybe I think one day I can unload it all on God when we meet face-to-face. As if He doesn’t already know. Lol.
Then, I don’t trust the church. As soon as I get comfortable in a church thinking that they’re coming with pure Godly motives, I get hit with the bullcrap. Anything from trying to bamboozle me out of money to making me feel like I can never be closer to God like the church leaders. So I’ve become very guarded over the years.
Then, I don’t persevere. Any church bullcrap that I spot, I flee. Ain’t got time to be dealing with folk who are trying to hinder my worship with the Lord. Yes, I’ve been known to flee a church. Especially when I spot shadiness in the finance department.
Then, I don’t protect the church. I was reading an article yesterday about a pastor in Baltimore who admitted that he coerced a few of his handicapped members into making him the beneficiary of their insurance policies and then hired a hit man to kill them off. Of course the comments about the article were rampant. Most saying stuff like that’s why they don’t go to church and don’t trust pastors. And the more I read the more I concurred with the comments. I could’ve very well submitted a comment on the contrary, but I didn’t.
(Deep Breath)
So as I was listening to the guest on Joyce Meyer’s this morning, the Lord started convicting me. My heart was heavy and I felt bad. Cause my feelings toward the church have been very brutal. So I repented. But even as I’m writing, I think I’m still harboring some ill feelings. (Deep breath). Ok, so let me say this again, publicly:
I repent for disliking the church. And I say this wholeheartedly.
Okay, I don’t like the thought of me “disliking” the church. So I’ll say…….going against the church—if that sounds any better-lol. But to be honest, the Lord knows my heart, I luuuv the Body of Christ. But I get so disappointed when the church gets caught up in foolishness. It hurts my heart. Really it does. I think I can deal with anything from gays to divorce in the church, not that’s its right. But when it comes to mishandling honest people’s money…….my heart is not just pierced, but stabbed. And then the hurt turns into frustration and that’s when my patience runs out, and I can’t trust, and……... If there’s one issue that I could go Al Sharpton on…..it would be money and the church.
So today I got a phone call from a family friend whose husband is a new pastor in the area. And she was telling me that they were in the midst of filing their tax exempt status (501(c)3) as well as setting up several outreach ministries/programs in which they will be seeking funding for in the future. So of course I offered my support in helping to set up their programs since they have been such a blessing to me and my family over the years. In addition to that, they are truly committed to the things of God. Truly.
But then my antennas went up when she mentioned the 501(c)3 again. The thought of a church being formed as a corporation rubs me the WRONG way. So I listened and offered some off-the-top-of-my-head advice. Not really wanting to get into the nitty gritty of the issue because I couldn’t speak freely---at work. But I did ask her why she wanted to go the 501(c)3 route and she responded that most churches are established this way, especially the mega churches. I listened. Even before I knew all the ins and outs of managing a nonprofit (I have a master’s in nonprofit management and have worked for three major nonprofits), I know that when a church is operated under the auspices of a business, the Lord is being put on the backburner. Most church leaders don’t even realize this. It’s a deceitful lie that doesn’t appear wrong until a church is in a legal dispute. Then you hear some foolishness like…….. “business-is-business”.
When I got off the phone, it hit me. A lot of churches operate, as it seems, on the money agenda because they simply don’t know any better. Before I started writing this entry I made up in my mind that instead of going against the church, I would be obedient to the Lord in helping the church in every way I can. Especially when its issues that I know a little something about.
So as I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, let me make something clear as far as the church being established as a “nonprofit” entity. So if you’re in a church leadership position…..take notes.
According to the First Amendment……Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. And according to the law, a church that is established as a “church” is automatically exempt from taxation.
The 501(c)3 legal status was introduced in the 1950s by then Senator Lyndon B. Johnson. According to many, I don’t know cause I wasn’t born back then therefore have never heard dude speak on the issue, but its said that LBJ developed this IRS code because the church was having too much power in public policy. By establishing this, many say, LBJ was trying to silence the church. This certainly goes against the First Amendment as it concerns the church.
The church needs to understand that when they form as a corporation, they have given up their submission to God’s authority and become subject to that of the state. When filing for 501(c)3 status, a church is swearing to be governed by the state. Therefore, the state becomes the head and sovereign authority. No longer God. As a result, when certain issues arise like abortion and gays marrying (yeah, it’s headed to your state—lol), if your church is a corporation you are legally limited on what you can say even if the Lord has commanded you to speak. If you notice, not that many pastors are speaking out about gay marriage or any other social issue, publicly. And that’s for one or two reasons---lol.
But then there’s the issue of……..if a church doesn’t file as a nonprofit corporation then they will have to pay taxes. This is the biggest misconception that is out there. I mean, why does the church need to seek permission from a tax they didn’t owe to begin with????? The law automatically exempts churches without a 501(c)3 status. But an attorney will advise otherwise, for obvious reasons.
What I think, and this is just my opinion, but what I think churches do is try to prove to their members that they are “legit” by establishing as a 501(c)3. Unfortunately, this status brings “false” credibility because it tells a member that it is “safe” to financially contribute to a particular church when in fact most shadiness in church finances are done under the 501(c)3 status. In addition, its boasted that by having this status it allows the member to write their contributions off on their personal tax filings. But no need!!! The member can too still do this, even without the status. As long as a church is a CHURCH, and not a center as most churches are renaming themselves, then its covered. And furthermore, if that’s the only way a member is comfortable in giving to their church then perhaps their money may not be a good seed to be sown in that ministry. But all money has become green to the church, unfortunately.
As I’m writing this entry, I thought about a couple of years ago when several congressmen demanded to see the financial records of several mega-church ministries, Creflo Dollar’s ministry being one. It was very embarrassing and humiliating. And another notch in the world’s “let’s destroy the church by making them destroy themselves” agenda. It was very public. But then, I remember stumbling across an article that said when Creflo Dollar turned over his records (his ministry being one of the only, or first, to comply---can’t remember which one) they were almost squeaky clean. Very much in order. This article of course was very quiet. I’m sure not many had read it. Those senators demanding to see financial documentation like that was a prime example of being under the authority of the state. This should have been a wake-up call for many.
So then, why does a church really need to establish as a corporation as a (501(c)3)?? I mean, if its only benefit is to appease its members then why???? There is another “advantage”. It helps the church to get funding from the government and foundations. But again, that means the church is not just under the state’s headship, but now under the authority of the funding entity. Most funders won’t even look at a church if it’s not established as a legal corporation. Again, it’s a false sense of credibility where a lot of times greed falls into the trap.
I remember a girlfriend was telling me about an incident that happened to her church. She said that they had just established a program for the elderly and were excited. Many seniors from their neighborhood were involved and benefiting from the services, all while being ministered to. And so they were encouraged to apply for a grant. So they did. And they were awarded the grant, increasing the program and its services. A couple of months into the grant, this being very new to them, they were abruptly visited by one of the grants officers. The officer came in, demanded to see paperwork that they had no idea they needed to have, and because they didn’t have it their funding was immediately taken away.
Now don’t get me wrong………I’d be the first to say you need to have your stuff in order in ANY situation. ESPECIALLY since I monitor programs and do site visits for a living--lol. And more importantly, because the Word of God speaks about this. But in more than enough situations, the services are being provided as promised, but one little “default” and your ministry can be shut down without notice depending on where the money is coming from.
Now what has been really on the rise in the last few decades or so is the church purchasing up all types of real estate. From shopping centers to homes to vacation spots to mega buildings. And more than likely they are purchasing under their 501(c)3 status which allows for……….huge tax breaks. That's the whole purpose. And you know what kind of return you get on real estate. Its actually the biggest and safest investment. So yes…..the church is making money by using their corporation status as well. Its a very powerful status to have. But its at the expense of their souls. And again, most are not even aware of this. They think the government is helping them out. Umph.
Soooo what this all trickles down to is the church being governed by money, not being under the direct authority of God. And this is what has been eating me up for the last umpteen years. Even in the most innocent situations, money is ruling the church. There are churches whose pastors are fully aware of their greedy motives, and try to justify it with the Word of God. Can I make a news flash……..the inheritance God promised us is not earthly, and neither is His kingdom. I know of several churches that have leaders in place who are operating on self motives and are out of the will of God. And the pastor knows this. But because the leaders are heavy financial contributors they’re kept in place.
Look, bottomline…….I know the church needs money to pay for its daily necessities. But if we would all do our part as the Body of Christ, that’s serving unselfishly in ministry, spreading the authentic Gospel, giving of ourselves without looking for a return from the church, and truly trusting God to provide our needs (as well as the church’s needs)…….then we don’t have to be bound by the government or any other person or institution that’s trying to work above what God mandated in His covenant with His people. Just trust GOD to provide!! It’s that simple. And I’m down with that.
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. “ The more they increased, The more they sinned against Me; I will change their glory into shame. --Hosea 4:6-7
Monday, May 11, 2009
Oh No….Not Again!!!
Yep….we got punked again. Satan done punked the church again. Yet again he has found a way to divide us and put us against one another.
(Deep breath) okay, if you’re on the “church scene” then I’m sure you’ve heard about the BET show Sunday’s Best and its finale last night. I’m no longer on the scene, but I got family and friends who are still connected, and so every now and again I’ll hear something. I actually didn’t keep up with Sunday’s Best, but I did hear (and saw) that a girl from the DC area, Y’Anna Crowley, was on there. Other than one other episode, I did watch the last half hour of the finale last night and so yes, yes…..you know me I did voice my opinion--lol. To be honest and frank…….I do understand why Y’Anna won over the other girl. Gotta admit……Y’Anna’s voice is stronger. And to me…….much better.
But I’m still a little confused with the premise of the show. I mean, what’s the point. Are the contestants supposed to be ministering through song or is it just the Black version of American Idol???? When I think of a Sunday morning singer, I think of someone who can sing during an altar call urging sinners to come and give their lives to Christ. That’s removing self and letting God do His perfect will through us. Not church hopping on a promotional tour to promote self. Perhaps that’s not the meaning of Sunday’s Best. Who really knows. Except the five people at the top getting paid off of ALL of us--lol.
Anyway, I hadn’t even watched the show this season. Cause last season, after Crystal Aikin won…..with her runner up being Shari Addison, it was enough for me. That’s what you call sisters who can not just sing, but are anointed. To me…it couldn’t get much better than that. I remember watching one episode from Season 1 and Shari was on the stage praising God with her back to the audience. A major no-no when “performing”. But she obviously was answering to a higher calling. I was actually talking on the phone with my girlfriend when she told me to turn on the television. And I’m telling you…….the anointing was so high it was coming through the screen. Even Kirk was in a corner praising God. I had to drop the phone. I felt it. Just reminded me of the goodness of God.
But this season……….I don’t know. Perhaps the producers didn't want authentic praise this season. I didn’t watch the entire season, so I really can’t say. But when I did finally tune in, I think it was down to the four finalists. When each were singing, I couldn’t really hear the message of the song because everybody was trying to out run and riff each other. I mean dag on……just sing the darn song--lol. And then I was appalled at Kirk Franklin’s comment about one of the girls. He said that her singing makes you feel like you’re at a club sipping on a drink. I couldn’t believe he’d said that. I think that’s when I knew that this show was based on worldly motives.
You know……when are we gonna get it. This whole competition in Gospel music isn’t new. Since I can remember there’s always been some sort of “who’s better in Gospel music” type of thing going on. Especially on the local DC scene. We have some saaangers in this area--lol. We really do. But the sad thing is that rarely do we get a national platform to spread the Gospel and now that we have it……..the end result is division. Half thought that the winner was deserving, and the other half thought not. But out of all the comments that I’ve heard or read I have yet to hear somebody say that by hearing such and such sing they were led to repent and gave their life to Christ.
We can go all night long about who sounded better, and who should have won. But does it really matter???? I mean, we all have a right to our opinions and we all have a right to express them. But lets look at the bigger picture. Let’s just assume that we’re all on the same page as to wanting nothing more than to glorify God and lift His name, removing self from the equation. If this is the case…….how could we have even ended up competing?????? I mean, should we have even been put in a situation where we had to choose the good news over the good news??? You know…..I’ve never heard of a competition where T.D. Jakes, Noel Jones, Eddie Long, and Jamal Bryant were the contestants. NEVER. In fact, I’ve never heard of ANY ministers of the Gospel being in a competition. Why do we compete with Gospel music??? Aren’t Gospel singers and musicians ministers too???? Umph.
For some odd reason I feel like re-posting the lyrics to Crystal Aikin’s debut title cut……I Need More.
I’m needing, I’m wanting
There is something about you
I need to know more of
When I fall on my knees
It’s in my prayer, Oh God
Take me beyond the veil
Give me more of You
Oh, Lord….and if it’s not too much to ask
I wanna deeper relationship with you
I want the oil of God to flow in me
Through and through
Here I am
On bended knees
With outstretched arms crying Lord
Not my will, but Your will
Less of me, and more of You
I need more, I need more
As I go before your throne
I give the praise to You alone
I lift my hands and give you worship
For you are God alone
Let your glory fill this place
Show your hand of mercy
I can’t speak right until you come Lord
Let your presence fall on me
Here I am
Accept my words
Accept my praise
I’m broken, I’m thirsty
Let your blood flow through my veins
I gotta have more, I gotta have more
A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him. Casting lots causes contentions to cease, and keeps the mighty apart. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. --Proverbs 18:16-19
(Deep breath) okay, if you’re on the “church scene” then I’m sure you’ve heard about the BET show Sunday’s Best and its finale last night. I’m no longer on the scene, but I got family and friends who are still connected, and so every now and again I’ll hear something. I actually didn’t keep up with Sunday’s Best, but I did hear (and saw) that a girl from the DC area, Y’Anna Crowley, was on there. Other than one other episode, I did watch the last half hour of the finale last night and so yes, yes…..you know me I did voice my opinion--lol. To be honest and frank…….I do understand why Y’Anna won over the other girl. Gotta admit……Y’Anna’s voice is stronger. And to me…….much better.
But I’m still a little confused with the premise of the show. I mean, what’s the point. Are the contestants supposed to be ministering through song or is it just the Black version of American Idol???? When I think of a Sunday morning singer, I think of someone who can sing during an altar call urging sinners to come and give their lives to Christ. That’s removing self and letting God do His perfect will through us. Not church hopping on a promotional tour to promote self. Perhaps that’s not the meaning of Sunday’s Best. Who really knows. Except the five people at the top getting paid off of ALL of us--lol.
Anyway, I hadn’t even watched the show this season. Cause last season, after Crystal Aikin won…..with her runner up being Shari Addison, it was enough for me. That’s what you call sisters who can not just sing, but are anointed. To me…it couldn’t get much better than that. I remember watching one episode from Season 1 and Shari was on the stage praising God with her back to the audience. A major no-no when “performing”. But she obviously was answering to a higher calling. I was actually talking on the phone with my girlfriend when she told me to turn on the television. And I’m telling you…….the anointing was so high it was coming through the screen. Even Kirk was in a corner praising God. I had to drop the phone. I felt it. Just reminded me of the goodness of God.
But this season……….I don’t know. Perhaps the producers didn't want authentic praise this season. I didn’t watch the entire season, so I really can’t say. But when I did finally tune in, I think it was down to the four finalists. When each were singing, I couldn’t really hear the message of the song because everybody was trying to out run and riff each other. I mean dag on……just sing the darn song--lol. And then I was appalled at Kirk Franklin’s comment about one of the girls. He said that her singing makes you feel like you’re at a club sipping on a drink. I couldn’t believe he’d said that. I think that’s when I knew that this show was based on worldly motives.
You know……when are we gonna get it. This whole competition in Gospel music isn’t new. Since I can remember there’s always been some sort of “who’s better in Gospel music” type of thing going on. Especially on the local DC scene. We have some saaangers in this area--lol. We really do. But the sad thing is that rarely do we get a national platform to spread the Gospel and now that we have it……..the end result is division. Half thought that the winner was deserving, and the other half thought not. But out of all the comments that I’ve heard or read I have yet to hear somebody say that by hearing such and such sing they were led to repent and gave their life to Christ.
We can go all night long about who sounded better, and who should have won. But does it really matter???? I mean, we all have a right to our opinions and we all have a right to express them. But lets look at the bigger picture. Let’s just assume that we’re all on the same page as to wanting nothing more than to glorify God and lift His name, removing self from the equation. If this is the case…….how could we have even ended up competing?????? I mean, should we have even been put in a situation where we had to choose the good news over the good news??? You know…..I’ve never heard of a competition where T.D. Jakes, Noel Jones, Eddie Long, and Jamal Bryant were the contestants. NEVER. In fact, I’ve never heard of ANY ministers of the Gospel being in a competition. Why do we compete with Gospel music??? Aren’t Gospel singers and musicians ministers too???? Umph.
For some odd reason I feel like re-posting the lyrics to Crystal Aikin’s debut title cut……I Need More.
I’m needing, I’m wanting
There is something about you
I need to know more of
When I fall on my knees
It’s in my prayer, Oh God
Take me beyond the veil
Give me more of You
Oh, Lord….and if it’s not too much to ask
I wanna deeper relationship with you
I want the oil of God to flow in me
Through and through
Here I am
On bended knees
With outstretched arms crying Lord
Not my will, but Your will
Less of me, and more of You
I need more, I need more
As I go before your throne
I give the praise to You alone
I lift my hands and give you worship
For you are God alone
Let your glory fill this place
Show your hand of mercy
I can’t speak right until you come Lord
Let your presence fall on me
Here I am
Accept my words
Accept my praise
I’m broken, I’m thirsty
Let your blood flow through my veins
I gotta have more, I gotta have more
A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him. Casting lots causes contentions to cease, and keeps the mighty apart. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. --Proverbs 18:16-19
Friday, May 8, 2009
Under Construction
Wow, what a beautiful morning. And it’s Friday!!! My morning started off in normal form. Talking to my sister and cracking up laughing. Sometimes I laugh so hard when talking to her that my colleagues have to tell me to shut up. Then I start laughing even harder. Most can’t believe that I be talking to my sister. I guess they think I be talking to someone else. Don’t know. But EVERY morning is the same routine. Since birth my sister has cracked me up. The funny thing is that she doesn’t be trying to make me laugh. It’s how she says things that put me in stitches. And to be quite honest, it’s when she’s pissed off and venting that makes me laugh the most. And most mornings she has a lot on her mind and need to vent--lol.
My sister, I know she doesn’t mind me saying this, but my sister has just fully turned to God. And when I tell you it’s nothing short of a miracle, you got to believe me. Whew…talk about prayers being answered. For the last six months or so, she’s been really seeking God. Cause she’s had a very shaky life. Yeah. She’s one of those who will burn down your house—lol. And although she too (all my family) was raised in the church, she was probably the one who strayed first. She didn’t like church. And made no apologies for it. I can’t begin to tell you how many men and their mommas she done cussed out. And how many women she done punched in the face--in her adult years—lol. But that’s her. I mean, the “old” her. God is good.
Ok, so a couple of days ago she called me to pray cause she and her business partner are trying to buy a beach in Africa. When she told me this I was caught off guard. I was like……huh????? All I could do was laugh. She has no limits. Then she called and told me that she’d decided that her daughter (my ten year old niece) would have to watch ROOTS (she’s studying Civil Rights) at my house cause she ain’t got time to answer questions that will piss her off again like she was back in the 70s. She said she’s still trying to get right with God and ain’t fully there yet. I was cracking up.
And so this morning she called and asked was I going to the Woman’s Conference tomorrow at church. I’m still unsure cause I finally got my Saturdays back and quite frankly I can think of a 101 things I can be doing tomorrow, even though I want to support the church’s activities. So while we were on the phone we both logged onto the church’s website to see what time the conference began. Then we both must’ve been reading the conference’s theme title silently and had the same thing floating through our mind. All of a sudden my sister says, hmmmmm..... Embracing the Whole Me. Then she said, naaaw I won’t be going. And then I asked her why. And she says……cause Jill why would I want to embrace me???? I don’t even like me. I’m trying to be delivered from me and my ways. Then she said...as a matter of fact, I’m under construction until further notice. I was almost falling out of my chair cause I was laughing so hard. Not necessarily of what she said…..but how she was saying it.
After I hung up…..I started thinking about not just the conference but this whole self-building thing we’ve plateaued on in the church. You know how I feel about the motivational types of messages in the church. And it hasn’t changed. I still don’t know what the purpose is. I mean, I can go to a real estate sales meeting or a business conference and get motivated. When I talk to my girlfriends I get motivated. Shucks I talked to a stranger on the train this morning and got motivated to take up another hobby. But when I go to church I want to shed from all that. I want to release from me and my wants and needs, and just worship God. Is it just me???
I was just telling [my friend] that I know we’re called to do a work for the Lord, but sometimes I feel like I just want to ride this life out with just worshipping God. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to minister to folk through gifts and talents cause its such a thin line between God’s calling and us calling ourselves. I know what the Lord called me to do. But I battle because I know me and how I can run with the ball. Everything I'm tasked to do I put all of me into it. But again, there's a thin line and sometimes I got to check myself--lol. It’s daily submission. So lots of times I find myself stuck on stop. I be like….. Lord ain’t it enough that I LUUUVS me some You---lol. Why do I have to do work? Can’t You use somebody else. [My friend] told me that I was being selfish---lol. But he knows I just be joking.
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a colleague who is also sold out for Christ. Her husband is a pastor and she is a minister. And she walks the talk. I have a really keen discerning Spirit. So I can spot a fake. But my colleague is real. And the Holy Spirit is quite evident in her life. She’s such a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out. She has a glow. Cause she doesn’t shine her light, she let’s the light shine. And I luuuv being around her.
So we were having lunch and she started telling me that from the age of 20 up until she was 35 she was into worshipping her inner self. Just going real deep inside her and pulling out all the things that she was drawn to and just connecting with the deepest parts of her. And one of the things she found was that she really loved crystals. When she said it I was lost and confused, and had to get some clarity---lol. She said ornaments and beads of crystals. And so she started wearing crystals and hanging them from her car’s rearview mirror. She said that she loved crystals---the way they sounded and looked. They were totally HER cause she connected with them. And so it got to the point where she innocently started worshipping……crystals.
Then one day she had gone to a girlfriend’s house. She said she’d started wearing dashikis and had let her hair grow out naturally, and was eating all natural foods. And was really into her crystals. Just really in tuned to herself. Just raw. And so she said she walked in the door and her girlfriend’s mother looked at her and immediately pulled her to the side and said……enough is enough. You need Jesus…..bottomline. To make a long story short, and I mean short cause her testimony about meeting her husband will blow your mind---its that deep. But to make a long story short she ended up just letting go of herself and gave her life to God. She said that when she let go of herself it was the most liberating feeling she had ever felt. And as soon as she let go and trusted God with her TOTAL being……He was able to use her. As a result, her life’s dreams fell in place including having her FIRST child at 43 years old. And got pregnant three more times after that.
You know……I really feel sorry for the Body of Christ. Cause it’s really a thin line between what Christ wants and what we think He wants. I totally understand the whole concept of trying to cope and maintain in such a volatile society. Daily, the enemy is trying to destroy us. And daily we are trying to become stronger to maintain in these times. One good wind and our house can be blown down. Everything we’ve built and accomplished.
And I don’t even have to talk about the dilemma of black women. The white man, the white woman, AND the black man all try to chip a piece of us every single day. Even in the most innocent situations. If that’s not enough…..we try to destroy each other with our nasty attitudes. The enemy comes to destroy. And so everybody is guarded with the strength we’re learning to build and hold on to---self. It’s gotten so bad that we don’t know whether we’re coming or going. But I believe in a God who knows this. And He knows what we’re up against. And so He tells us to cast ALL of our cares on Him. So why can’t we do that? Why do we have to continue to convince ourselves to accept ourselves??? I mean, isn’t God enough???? Isn’t the God in us enough???? The all-knowing, sufficient, and complete God. It just takes me back to my question in another entry…..do we even really believe that there is a God? Cause if we did then we wouldn’t be trying to embrace ourselves. My sister said it best. She said she’ll be embracing God tomorrow---lol. I cracked up laughing cause I knew she’s finally getting it.
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. –2 Timothy 3:1-5
My sister, I know she doesn’t mind me saying this, but my sister has just fully turned to God. And when I tell you it’s nothing short of a miracle, you got to believe me. Whew…talk about prayers being answered. For the last six months or so, she’s been really seeking God. Cause she’s had a very shaky life. Yeah. She’s one of those who will burn down your house—lol. And although she too (all my family) was raised in the church, she was probably the one who strayed first. She didn’t like church. And made no apologies for it. I can’t begin to tell you how many men and their mommas she done cussed out. And how many women she done punched in the face--in her adult years—lol. But that’s her. I mean, the “old” her. God is good.
Ok, so a couple of days ago she called me to pray cause she and her business partner are trying to buy a beach in Africa. When she told me this I was caught off guard. I was like……huh????? All I could do was laugh. She has no limits. Then she called and told me that she’d decided that her daughter (my ten year old niece) would have to watch ROOTS (she’s studying Civil Rights) at my house cause she ain’t got time to answer questions that will piss her off again like she was back in the 70s. She said she’s still trying to get right with God and ain’t fully there yet. I was cracking up.
And so this morning she called and asked was I going to the Woman’s Conference tomorrow at church. I’m still unsure cause I finally got my Saturdays back and quite frankly I can think of a 101 things I can be doing tomorrow, even though I want to support the church’s activities. So while we were on the phone we both logged onto the church’s website to see what time the conference began. Then we both must’ve been reading the conference’s theme title silently and had the same thing floating through our mind. All of a sudden my sister says, hmmmmm..... Embracing the Whole Me. Then she said, naaaw I won’t be going. And then I asked her why. And she says……cause Jill why would I want to embrace me???? I don’t even like me. I’m trying to be delivered from me and my ways. Then she said...as a matter of fact, I’m under construction until further notice. I was almost falling out of my chair cause I was laughing so hard. Not necessarily of what she said…..but how she was saying it.
After I hung up…..I started thinking about not just the conference but this whole self-building thing we’ve plateaued on in the church. You know how I feel about the motivational types of messages in the church. And it hasn’t changed. I still don’t know what the purpose is. I mean, I can go to a real estate sales meeting or a business conference and get motivated. When I talk to my girlfriends I get motivated. Shucks I talked to a stranger on the train this morning and got motivated to take up another hobby. But when I go to church I want to shed from all that. I want to release from me and my wants and needs, and just worship God. Is it just me???
I was just telling [my friend] that I know we’re called to do a work for the Lord, but sometimes I feel like I just want to ride this life out with just worshipping God. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to minister to folk through gifts and talents cause its such a thin line between God’s calling and us calling ourselves. I know what the Lord called me to do. But I battle because I know me and how I can run with the ball. Everything I'm tasked to do I put all of me into it. But again, there's a thin line and sometimes I got to check myself--lol. It’s daily submission. So lots of times I find myself stuck on stop. I be like….. Lord ain’t it enough that I LUUUVS me some You---lol. Why do I have to do work? Can’t You use somebody else. [My friend] told me that I was being selfish---lol. But he knows I just be joking.
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a colleague who is also sold out for Christ. Her husband is a pastor and she is a minister. And she walks the talk. I have a really keen discerning Spirit. So I can spot a fake. But my colleague is real. And the Holy Spirit is quite evident in her life. She’s such a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out. She has a glow. Cause she doesn’t shine her light, she let’s the light shine. And I luuuv being around her.
So we were having lunch and she started telling me that from the age of 20 up until she was 35 she was into worshipping her inner self. Just going real deep inside her and pulling out all the things that she was drawn to and just connecting with the deepest parts of her. And one of the things she found was that she really loved crystals. When she said it I was lost and confused, and had to get some clarity---lol. She said ornaments and beads of crystals. And so she started wearing crystals and hanging them from her car’s rearview mirror. She said that she loved crystals---the way they sounded and looked. They were totally HER cause she connected with them. And so it got to the point where she innocently started worshipping……crystals.
Then one day she had gone to a girlfriend’s house. She said she’d started wearing dashikis and had let her hair grow out naturally, and was eating all natural foods. And was really into her crystals. Just really in tuned to herself. Just raw. And so she said she walked in the door and her girlfriend’s mother looked at her and immediately pulled her to the side and said……enough is enough. You need Jesus…..bottomline. To make a long story short, and I mean short cause her testimony about meeting her husband will blow your mind---its that deep. But to make a long story short she ended up just letting go of herself and gave her life to God. She said that when she let go of herself it was the most liberating feeling she had ever felt. And as soon as she let go and trusted God with her TOTAL being……He was able to use her. As a result, her life’s dreams fell in place including having her FIRST child at 43 years old. And got pregnant three more times after that.
You know……I really feel sorry for the Body of Christ. Cause it’s really a thin line between what Christ wants and what we think He wants. I totally understand the whole concept of trying to cope and maintain in such a volatile society. Daily, the enemy is trying to destroy us. And daily we are trying to become stronger to maintain in these times. One good wind and our house can be blown down. Everything we’ve built and accomplished.
And I don’t even have to talk about the dilemma of black women. The white man, the white woman, AND the black man all try to chip a piece of us every single day. Even in the most innocent situations. If that’s not enough…..we try to destroy each other with our nasty attitudes. The enemy comes to destroy. And so everybody is guarded with the strength we’re learning to build and hold on to---self. It’s gotten so bad that we don’t know whether we’re coming or going. But I believe in a God who knows this. And He knows what we’re up against. And so He tells us to cast ALL of our cares on Him. So why can’t we do that? Why do we have to continue to convince ourselves to accept ourselves??? I mean, isn’t God enough???? Isn’t the God in us enough???? The all-knowing, sufficient, and complete God. It just takes me back to my question in another entry…..do we even really believe that there is a God? Cause if we did then we wouldn’t be trying to embrace ourselves. My sister said it best. She said she’ll be embracing God tomorrow---lol. I cracked up laughing cause I knew she’s finally getting it.
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. –2 Timothy 3:1-5
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
All in a Day's Work
I just need to take a moment and slow the heck down. This week has been crazy. And it’s only Wednesday. So before I get into the groove of my day I just need to release.
Wow. What happened???? I mean, I’m always on the grind in the office. There’s so much that needs to be done, and can be done once the needs are met. But this week started a little different. Cause not only do I have my daily work in which I was hired and being paid to do---lol (I promise I ain't mis-using government time--lol), but also a side project in which I know the Lord has commissioned me to do. On top of that, I’ve promised a few folk that I’d help with various side projects that if not set with some ground rules can turn out real ugly. Ugh.
Then there’s real estate. I need to sell a house or two in the next few months. Cause I need the money. Would love to pay off two credit cards. I’m trying to be completely debt free by the time I turn 40, and I got less than a year to do it. So I’ve been positioning myself to get on the real estate grind which is taking some work. Being a Realtor can be high-maintenance. Lots of rules and regulations to follow ALWAYS, not to mention the work-at-hand. So it’s a very conscious effort. Ugh.
But then this week I got pulled into a project that is pulling at my passion. Yes, yes…..it’s a public relations project. And it has the potential of becoming really, really major. I luuuv public relations and every aspect of it. You know that. And this project is securely positioned in the entertainment industry---film & television. It’s actually doing publicity for an up-and-coming actor. It happened so fast. I received a phone call days ago asking me to prepare a press release and somehow it turned into me joining his team. Am I really ready for this???? And more importantly, did God approve????
Yesterday, arrangements were made for me to speak with the actor on the phone. And so we spoke for a quick ten minutes or so. He was calling from New York. A very nice and humble person. And I guess I’m cocky enough to say that…….dude needs me—lol. I made it clear to say that “you all must be blessed because if you crossed my path and I gave you my ear…….yeah the Lord is looking out for you.” I got a chuckle in return—lol. As soon as I hung up with him my mind went into overdrive thinking of all kinds of angles, building onto his brand, publicity ideas, and more. It got so bad that I went to bed thinking about it. And that’s a no-no for me.
At about 4am-ish this morning the Lord woke me up out of my sleep and gave me a scripture---Ephesians 4:11. Don’t know why. But I turned on my light and grabbed my Bible off the nightstand and read. Still didn’t know why and was too tired to wait for the revelation. So I went back to sleep.
This morning when I got up, I had the public relations project still on my mind. And oddly, I felt soooo distance from the Lord. It’s a weird feeling. Almost like I’m cheating on God. I felt/feel slightly off course. And I don’t like to feel like this.
When I got to the office I logged into Pandora and the first song that came up was Fred Hammond’s, My Heart is For You. I stopped dead in my tracks and just took in the lyrics…….my heart will be for you Lord, always…..my praise will be for you Lord, always…….I can’t make it without you Lord……...
I don’t like being out of the presence of God. I don’t. Tonight is definitely me and HIM time. And nobody and nothing else. Just me and HIM.
If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. --Psalm 37:23-24
Wow. What happened???? I mean, I’m always on the grind in the office. There’s so much that needs to be done, and can be done once the needs are met. But this week started a little different. Cause not only do I have my daily work in which I was hired and being paid to do---lol (I promise I ain't mis-using government time--lol), but also a side project in which I know the Lord has commissioned me to do. On top of that, I’ve promised a few folk that I’d help with various side projects that if not set with some ground rules can turn out real ugly. Ugh.
Then there’s real estate. I need to sell a house or two in the next few months. Cause I need the money. Would love to pay off two credit cards. I’m trying to be completely debt free by the time I turn 40, and I got less than a year to do it. So I’ve been positioning myself to get on the real estate grind which is taking some work. Being a Realtor can be high-maintenance. Lots of rules and regulations to follow ALWAYS, not to mention the work-at-hand. So it’s a very conscious effort. Ugh.
But then this week I got pulled into a project that is pulling at my passion. Yes, yes…..it’s a public relations project. And it has the potential of becoming really, really major. I luuuv public relations and every aspect of it. You know that. And this project is securely positioned in the entertainment industry---film & television. It’s actually doing publicity for an up-and-coming actor. It happened so fast. I received a phone call days ago asking me to prepare a press release and somehow it turned into me joining his team. Am I really ready for this???? And more importantly, did God approve????
Yesterday, arrangements were made for me to speak with the actor on the phone. And so we spoke for a quick ten minutes or so. He was calling from New York. A very nice and humble person. And I guess I’m cocky enough to say that…….dude needs me—lol. I made it clear to say that “you all must be blessed because if you crossed my path and I gave you my ear…….yeah the Lord is looking out for you.” I got a chuckle in return—lol. As soon as I hung up with him my mind went into overdrive thinking of all kinds of angles, building onto his brand, publicity ideas, and more. It got so bad that I went to bed thinking about it. And that’s a no-no for me.
At about 4am-ish this morning the Lord woke me up out of my sleep and gave me a scripture---Ephesians 4:11. Don’t know why. But I turned on my light and grabbed my Bible off the nightstand and read. Still didn’t know why and was too tired to wait for the revelation. So I went back to sleep.
This morning when I got up, I had the public relations project still on my mind. And oddly, I felt soooo distance from the Lord. It’s a weird feeling. Almost like I’m cheating on God. I felt/feel slightly off course. And I don’t like to feel like this.
When I got to the office I logged into Pandora and the first song that came up was Fred Hammond’s, My Heart is For You. I stopped dead in my tracks and just took in the lyrics…….my heart will be for you Lord, always…..my praise will be for you Lord, always…….I can’t make it without you Lord……...
I don’t like being out of the presence of God. I don’t. Tonight is definitely me and HIM time. And nobody and nothing else. Just me and HIM.
If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. --Psalm 37:23-24
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A Street Named Job
Boy oh boy! This journey is becoming deeper and deeper. And more adventurous. And I’m loving every minute of it. I received a prophecy last month from a lady who described my journey to a tee. She actually told me that she saw in the Spirit that I was on a road. This lady knows NOTHING about me. We were both in Strike Force together. But she said she saw this road that I was traveling on. And I was soooo joyful. She said that God is pleased with me and loves me very much. And that I am on the right road. It might sound generic, but its not. See, I had ALREADY saw the EXACT road about a year ago that she described.
A week after she gave me the prophecy, she came up to me running saying…… “Jill, this is the road. This is the road I saw in the Spirit!!!” It was a picture of a road curving through a mountain that is on our textbook entitled, “Understanding Prophetic Directions.” Yep, that’s the road. it’s the SAME road I took going to New York last year that I described in my very first entry entitled, My New New York. It’s a road going through a mountain.
You know what’s funny, I know the day, ok the month, in which I decided to get on this journey and just walk. Yep, September 2007. I mean, I’d like to believe that I was on a journey all my life, but it wasn’t necessarily the journey in which God wanted me to be on. So I accept that in September 2007 I came to a crossroad, and I just chose to follow God wholeheartedly….mind, body, and soul.
Let me tell you, the road hasn’t been easy. Many curves and speed bumps. Yea, there are some blessings I was rushing to get and the Lord had to slow a sistah down--lol. But it hasn’t been easy, but its sooo worth it. I can’t even imagine my life on any other path or in any other way. I LOVE GOD.
Ok, so I went to church this morning and it was mind blowing. Praise and worship was simple, but off the chain as usual. It’s something about the anointing. Umph. But so many messages was wrapped up one service. At times I couldn’t do nothing but stare in the Spirit. Yeah, it sounds weird--lol. But I was blown away at what the Lord was saying to me.
One thing that gave me clarity and understanding was when the pastor (I guess I can say my pastor, but I haven‘t officially joined yet----lol), but the pastor touched on Job. Not a lot, but enough to take me there. You know the story…..Job suffered, but got double for his trouble. But the Lord revealed to me something so profound. It’s that when one decides to take God’s journey, he/she MUST go down Job Street. MUST.
I heard something years ago in undergrad that was enlightening. Actually my ex told me this. Very smart and bright guy. But he told me that the class Physics sifts out the fake wanna-be doctors to get to the real ones. Its funny that Physics is required before you even get to college, probably so that you don’t waste real doctors-in-the-making and professors time. When you have truly gone through the sifting process the “I’m a doctor” arrogance is no longer relevant. Cause your focus is on the duty at hand. And when you’re focused……..shallowness is irrelevant. Cause you’re breaking. I understand totally. Cause I couldn’t get through Chemistry in high school, barely made it through Biology, and I couldn’t stay awake in Earth Science --lol. And while I’m being open and honest, I nearly failed College Algebra in undergrad. If I’ve EVER bragged to be a scientist or a mathematician in my life you can better believe that when I took those classes, passing by the skin of my teeth I was singing a different tune. Trust when I tell you---lol.
You know what…..thinking about walking down Job Street it is…..well I really can’t say. Its just that it is what it is---lol. You know we have been programmed to acquire and accomplish. That’s the world’s view. That’s our society’s norm. Survival of the fittest. We’ve been programmed to build ourselves to maintain in this society. We ride hard off of accomplishments---I’d be the first to admit that. But the truth of the matter……….in order to truly walk with God……we must be broken and departed from what we have accomplished on self motives. Even in the most innocent cases, we still have to be far removed. Period.
This week I was forwarded a weblink of the…..I guess the new “it” girl on the church scene. She’s a “prophetess” and is rumored to be engaged to a well-known pastor. And so when I clicked on the link I was immediately swept into [her] world. She had loud music playing with lyrics that shouted……. “This is who I am” and her full body shot from head to toe covered a great portion of the page. She had photo shoots of herself that screamed all over the page. And then there was a section of her bio that expounded on her accomplishments. If I’s just happened to stumble across the site I wouldn’t have known she represented Christ. It was that self-branded. But I did manage to click on a link to one of her sermons and I’ve got to say that she talks a good word. And I’d like to believe that the Lord really did call her. Although integrity does subtly speak, her self-promoting image is blinding.
So I’m not even referring to the countless “church-goers”. I’m referring to those of us who have been through Christianity 101. The basics. The fundamentals of Christ. It’s a lot of us who truly loves God, talks a good talk, and is walking, but still haven’t been down Job Street. See, Job TRULY loved and worshipped God. And even though he walked and talked the right thing, he was STILL tested. He STILL had to go through Physics. He couldn’t fathom it. Everything that he had accomplished he lost. But he trusted God. And he proved that what he had acquired was no way in comparison to his relationship with God. Was it easy…..NOPE. But the Lord brought him through.
I firmly believe that I’m walking down Job Street. Actually it feels more like Job Turnpike---lol. Is it just me, but isn’t the distance between the exits on the NJ Turnpike extra, extra, extra wider than all the other interstates and highways. LOL. Maybe its just me. Maybe I just be in a rush to get to the next state---lol. But it’s a road in this journey that I know I must go down. Everyone must go down. That’s if you are a Christian. Not a form of Godliness, but a CHRISTIAN. And you’ll know when you’ve been down it. Or are going down it. “Me” is no longer about me. And what God is doing, is no longer about me. See, there’s no room in my life for God’s blessings if all of “my blessings” have dominated. Whew….talk about a sifting process. But I LUUUUV the Lord and I’m coming to realize more and more that what I have acquired and accomplished is so disposable when it comes to my relationship with Him.
You know…..I don’t talk much about really, really personal situations that I deal with on a daily only because some things are just between me and God. And the person, if someone else is involved. But over the last few months I’ve been dealing with a very personal issue. Its an “issue” in which plays a huge part in who I have become. The issue (a good one) began when I started my journey back in 2007. And so the issue has actually been company to me as I travel on this journey. I’d like to think that the “issue” was not a crutch, but perhaps it has been. Perhaps I’d become co-dependent.
But just recently the issue has turned. Its funny because during the time I was given the prophecy that I mentioned above, was during the time I was really feeling like I was/am on Job Street. The lady that gave me the prophecy said that my road was turning towards the right. She said she saw a curve. That was during the same time I was merging from the issue.
Well, the curve was obviously onto Job Street because now………well now I’m in the process of proving to God that I am HIS. I loved God before the issue and I love Him after. Even more now. Can’t say that it is easy cause some days I feel like a waterfall. But even still I have joy. And its amazing. My girlfriends can’t even understand the joy that I have and why I can continue to smile when I should be destroyed. But I trust God with my WHOLE HEART. And I know that He just wants to prove to satan that my love and devotion for Him is pure. That can only be determined if I’m really willing to stay on the journey and proceeding onto every street, road, lane, drive, avenue, highway, interstate, and turnpike. And I am. Truly, I am.
Why do I take my flesh in my teeth, and put my life in my hands? Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation, for a hypocrite could not come before Him. --Job 136:14-16
A week after she gave me the prophecy, she came up to me running saying…… “Jill, this is the road. This is the road I saw in the Spirit!!!” It was a picture of a road curving through a mountain that is on our textbook entitled, “Understanding Prophetic Directions.” Yep, that’s the road. it’s the SAME road I took going to New York last year that I described in my very first entry entitled, My New New York. It’s a road going through a mountain.
You know what’s funny, I know the day, ok the month, in which I decided to get on this journey and just walk. Yep, September 2007. I mean, I’d like to believe that I was on a journey all my life, but it wasn’t necessarily the journey in which God wanted me to be on. So I accept that in September 2007 I came to a crossroad, and I just chose to follow God wholeheartedly….mind, body, and soul.
Let me tell you, the road hasn’t been easy. Many curves and speed bumps. Yea, there are some blessings I was rushing to get and the Lord had to slow a sistah down--lol. But it hasn’t been easy, but its sooo worth it. I can’t even imagine my life on any other path or in any other way. I LOVE GOD.
Ok, so I went to church this morning and it was mind blowing. Praise and worship was simple, but off the chain as usual. It’s something about the anointing. Umph. But so many messages was wrapped up one service. At times I couldn’t do nothing but stare in the Spirit. Yeah, it sounds weird--lol. But I was blown away at what the Lord was saying to me.
One thing that gave me clarity and understanding was when the pastor (I guess I can say my pastor, but I haven‘t officially joined yet----lol), but the pastor touched on Job. Not a lot, but enough to take me there. You know the story…..Job suffered, but got double for his trouble. But the Lord revealed to me something so profound. It’s that when one decides to take God’s journey, he/she MUST go down Job Street. MUST.
I heard something years ago in undergrad that was enlightening. Actually my ex told me this. Very smart and bright guy. But he told me that the class Physics sifts out the fake wanna-be doctors to get to the real ones. Its funny that Physics is required before you even get to college, probably so that you don’t waste real doctors-in-the-making and professors time. When you have truly gone through the sifting process the “I’m a doctor” arrogance is no longer relevant. Cause your focus is on the duty at hand. And when you’re focused……..shallowness is irrelevant. Cause you’re breaking. I understand totally. Cause I couldn’t get through Chemistry in high school, barely made it through Biology, and I couldn’t stay awake in Earth Science --lol. And while I’m being open and honest, I nearly failed College Algebra in undergrad. If I’ve EVER bragged to be a scientist or a mathematician in my life you can better believe that when I took those classes, passing by the skin of my teeth I was singing a different tune. Trust when I tell you---lol.
You know what…..thinking about walking down Job Street it is…..well I really can’t say. Its just that it is what it is---lol. You know we have been programmed to acquire and accomplish. That’s the world’s view. That’s our society’s norm. Survival of the fittest. We’ve been programmed to build ourselves to maintain in this society. We ride hard off of accomplishments---I’d be the first to admit that. But the truth of the matter……….in order to truly walk with God……we must be broken and departed from what we have accomplished on self motives. Even in the most innocent cases, we still have to be far removed. Period.
This week I was forwarded a weblink of the…..I guess the new “it” girl on the church scene. She’s a “prophetess” and is rumored to be engaged to a well-known pastor. And so when I clicked on the link I was immediately swept into [her] world. She had loud music playing with lyrics that shouted……. “This is who I am” and her full body shot from head to toe covered a great portion of the page. She had photo shoots of herself that screamed all over the page. And then there was a section of her bio that expounded on her accomplishments. If I’s just happened to stumble across the site I wouldn’t have known she represented Christ. It was that self-branded. But I did manage to click on a link to one of her sermons and I’ve got to say that she talks a good word. And I’d like to believe that the Lord really did call her. Although integrity does subtly speak, her self-promoting image is blinding.
So I’m not even referring to the countless “church-goers”. I’m referring to those of us who have been through Christianity 101. The basics. The fundamentals of Christ. It’s a lot of us who truly loves God, talks a good talk, and is walking, but still haven’t been down Job Street. See, Job TRULY loved and worshipped God. And even though he walked and talked the right thing, he was STILL tested. He STILL had to go through Physics. He couldn’t fathom it. Everything that he had accomplished he lost. But he trusted God. And he proved that what he had acquired was no way in comparison to his relationship with God. Was it easy…..NOPE. But the Lord brought him through.
I firmly believe that I’m walking down Job Street. Actually it feels more like Job Turnpike---lol. Is it just me, but isn’t the distance between the exits on the NJ Turnpike extra, extra, extra wider than all the other interstates and highways. LOL. Maybe its just me. Maybe I just be in a rush to get to the next state---lol. But it’s a road in this journey that I know I must go down. Everyone must go down. That’s if you are a Christian. Not a form of Godliness, but a CHRISTIAN. And you’ll know when you’ve been down it. Or are going down it. “Me” is no longer about me. And what God is doing, is no longer about me. See, there’s no room in my life for God’s blessings if all of “my blessings” have dominated. Whew….talk about a sifting process. But I LUUUUV the Lord and I’m coming to realize more and more that what I have acquired and accomplished is so disposable when it comes to my relationship with Him.
You know…..I don’t talk much about really, really personal situations that I deal with on a daily only because some things are just between me and God. And the person, if someone else is involved. But over the last few months I’ve been dealing with a very personal issue. Its an “issue” in which plays a huge part in who I have become. The issue (a good one) began when I started my journey back in 2007. And so the issue has actually been company to me as I travel on this journey. I’d like to think that the “issue” was not a crutch, but perhaps it has been. Perhaps I’d become co-dependent.
But just recently the issue has turned. Its funny because during the time I was given the prophecy that I mentioned above, was during the time I was really feeling like I was/am on Job Street. The lady that gave me the prophecy said that my road was turning towards the right. She said she saw a curve. That was during the same time I was merging from the issue.
Well, the curve was obviously onto Job Street because now………well now I’m in the process of proving to God that I am HIS. I loved God before the issue and I love Him after. Even more now. Can’t say that it is easy cause some days I feel like a waterfall. But even still I have joy. And its amazing. My girlfriends can’t even understand the joy that I have and why I can continue to smile when I should be destroyed. But I trust God with my WHOLE HEART. And I know that He just wants to prove to satan that my love and devotion for Him is pure. That can only be determined if I’m really willing to stay on the journey and proceeding onto every street, road, lane, drive, avenue, highway, interstate, and turnpike. And I am. Truly, I am.
Why do I take my flesh in my teeth, and put my life in my hands? Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation, for a hypocrite could not come before Him. --Job 136:14-16
Journey Merging onto Memory Lane
Wow!!! What a wonderful, relaxing day. I almost forgot what Saturdays felt like. Just like I’ve been doing the last few months, I jumped out the bed at 8am-ish and started taking care of stuff. Oddly, I cleaned my entire balcony---yes at 8am-ish in the rain. Then I came in and put a pot of black-eyed peas on. Then I was like the heck with this…..its MY day. So I got back in the bed, watched television, took a nap or two or three, and enjoyed my day.
This past week so much has happened. In my last entry entitled, You Go Ruth!, I made mention about moving forward. And not allowing people, even the closest to you, to keep you from fulfilling destiny. And that’s certainly where I am now. But something strange happened as soon as I decided to release a friend who is headed in the opposite direction from me. A girlfriend from my childhood found me. Yes, on Facebook--lol.
Its funny because this particular girlfriend is one of four of us girlfriends who met in the first grade. We’d been friends up until middle school, but because our families moved out of the neighborhood we lost touch. The truth is…..we all started going down different paths. Ironically, since we officially parted back in the early 1980’s we’ve consistently come together every ten years.
In 1990, we came together when this particular girlfriend had her first baby. We all re-connected and met up at the hospital. And in 2000, another of us was having a baby and we all met up at the baby shower. Because we have different lifestyles, me always trying to accomplish the impossible---lol, we enjoy milestone events together, but then we go our separate ways.
Right after the 2000 event, me and this particular girlfriend tried to stay connected, but because of the different paths we were on it was nearly impossible to do so. She is a mom and was very much into the “raising teenagers” part of her life then. At the same time she was trying to play the hand she was dealt and I couldn’t relate. I was single and childless, trying to complete my degree, figure out what God wanted with me, and so on. So we kinda clashed. But always accepting the love for each other. And the history we share.
So when she contacted me this week, I was pleasantly surprised. Not knowing how we each fit into each others lives, but not being able to ignore the bond that we (the four of us) share. So we talked. And we talked for hours. But this time something is different. See, my girlfriend gave her life to the Lord last year and her talk is much different. She’s speaking a different language. The fruits are bearing. And I like it. I really like it.
I always say that history, as big as we make it seem, plays a very small part when looking at the big picture. But when history meets destiny……….maaan, it’s a powerful thing.
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. --Proverbs 12:26
This past week so much has happened. In my last entry entitled, You Go Ruth!, I made mention about moving forward. And not allowing people, even the closest to you, to keep you from fulfilling destiny. And that’s certainly where I am now. But something strange happened as soon as I decided to release a friend who is headed in the opposite direction from me. A girlfriend from my childhood found me. Yes, on Facebook--lol.
Its funny because this particular girlfriend is one of four of us girlfriends who met in the first grade. We’d been friends up until middle school, but because our families moved out of the neighborhood we lost touch. The truth is…..we all started going down different paths. Ironically, since we officially parted back in the early 1980’s we’ve consistently come together every ten years.
In 1990, we came together when this particular girlfriend had her first baby. We all re-connected and met up at the hospital. And in 2000, another of us was having a baby and we all met up at the baby shower. Because we have different lifestyles, me always trying to accomplish the impossible---lol, we enjoy milestone events together, but then we go our separate ways.
Right after the 2000 event, me and this particular girlfriend tried to stay connected, but because of the different paths we were on it was nearly impossible to do so. She is a mom and was very much into the “raising teenagers” part of her life then. At the same time she was trying to play the hand she was dealt and I couldn’t relate. I was single and childless, trying to complete my degree, figure out what God wanted with me, and so on. So we kinda clashed. But always accepting the love for each other. And the history we share.
So when she contacted me this week, I was pleasantly surprised. Not knowing how we each fit into each others lives, but not being able to ignore the bond that we (the four of us) share. So we talked. And we talked for hours. But this time something is different. See, my girlfriend gave her life to the Lord last year and her talk is much different. She’s speaking a different language. The fruits are bearing. And I like it. I really like it.
I always say that history, as big as we make it seem, plays a very small part when looking at the big picture. But when history meets destiny……….maaan, it’s a powerful thing.
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. --Proverbs 12:26
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