Ok, so over the last few weeks/months I’ve been going back and forth with the purpose thing. You know…..trying to figure out the LORD’s perfect will for my life and not just what I want to do. As I’ve mentioned in several entries….I truly believe in my heart that what the Lord purposes is more than likely something that resides in my weakness.
So I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends, she too very established as a professional in the Federal government, and she was just saying also how she knows the Lord has something greater for her to do. We spent some time over coffee the other morning just venting to one another. I told her that I am at the point where if the Lord wants me to dust the pews and clean the bathrooms at church then that’s what I will do. I just need to know that I am doing HIS perfect will and purpose.
Then we started talking about the spoken and written ministry thing. You know….where we get caught up believing that it takes a platform to spread the Gospel. She looked at me a little cross because she made the statement that she luuuvs going to impoverished countries and speaking to large congregations. She says she loves the feeling she gets preaching to a large unsaved crowd. And though I do identify with her feelings of validation I had to be frank and express that that may not be what the Lord wants her to do in ministry.
I thought back to a conversation I had with my pastor a few months ago. And how he told me that here in American, he’s from Africa, too many Christians operate out of their strength. For months I thought about that. I thought about all of the cockiness and greed that has come out of so-called ministries that has turned into celebrity arrogance. Is that really ministry? And so I thought about Jesus and how his strength was in carpentry. But the Bible never speaks about the tangible things Jesus built. But in his weakness is where He found strength in God. He showed weakness in bearing the cross and being led to lead the people to salvation. That was His ministry. That was His purpose.
Last week I was flipping through the channels and caught Juanita Bynum on DayStar. Ok, gotta tell you……I’m not a Juanita fan. I mean, I love the fact that the Lord has His hand on her, but I don’t care for the way she’s gone off track. I truly believe that there’s a thin line between faith and fame, and she has seem to consciously crossed it. All-in-all, she’s still my sister in Christ and even though I do not support her hustle I pray for her. But I caught her speaking on television and she said something that was so profound.
For many years, I thought it was just me. I thought I was the only one feeling like the church has missed the mark by building these mega buildings and moving their ministries out of urban areas and into the suburbs. Here in the Washington DC Metro area, most of our larger and popular churches have moved out of DC and into Maryland---some even into Northern Virginia. There is an influx of mega ministries in this area. Unfortunately, very few are bringing the authentic Word of God to the masses. Most are stuck on motivational messages.
But Juanita Bynum said something so profound. She said since she has been to Hollywood the unsaved think we are a joke. Cause we build these big mega churches and act like the building is the true kingdom of God, but we produce no fruit. As I listened I thought about how when I was growing up our life was revolved around the church. But when we had to step out of the church realm into places like school…there was no life in us. We were just the average person with nothing to say and nothing to offer. We were known as church girls. But it was more of a “our church life is a secret” than a “come on and join into the Body of Christ”. The same mentality goes on today, but on a broader scale.
I think it was last year I wrote an entry about a mega church in the Metro area that owns a whole community---shopping, residences, businesses, and of course the church is there. I’ve heard this message before from the mega church I belonged to that the members need to support the church community because “it’s building the kingdom”. Every time I hear that my eyes roll up in my head because the church really believes that the kingdom is built carnally here on earth. The funny thing about the mega church I’m referring to has named their community “Kingdom _________.” It’s hilarious. So basically, what Juanita Bynum was saying is how we have spent billions of dollars building buildings and we still have a dying unsaved world who has little respect for church folk. She said that it is our jobs as Christian to go out into the world and represent Christ. That’s how we build the Kingdom. God’s KINGDOM.
Last week, I caught the opening night of Tyler Perry’s “I Can Do Bad All By Myself” and I have to say that although it wasn’t his best directing, or best set, and probably won’t get a BET award so we ain’t even gonna talk about an Oscar, to me…………………..it was his absolute best!!!!!!!! I mean, anybody who dares to say Jesus as much as he did on the big screen must be working from a higher calling. Hollywood allowed us to put the “Passion of the Christ” out there a few years ago, but I’m soooo glad that folk like Tyler Perry is making it clear that we need to hear Jesus more. And I love the fact that although he has rubbed elbows with Oprah, a non-believer and Jesus basher, he’s not changing his message. I love it!!
So over the last few days I’ve been really praying and thinking about what the Lord wants me to do to build His kingdom and I’m confident that I got the answer. I think He wants me to represent Christ in the workplace. I mean, I know we are all ministers of reconciliation. But I believe the Lord has me positioned as a warrior for Christ in the workplace. Whether my job is here in the Federal government or in nonprofit or in the entertainment industry is not the issue for my steps are ordered by the Lord. Therefore, wherever He leads my steps along my career path, I am to stand for holiness in the workplace. For I am ministry.
This morning I had a conversation with a friend who is a comedian. Way back when I was doing public relations for the entertainment industry I had done some work for him, and so over the years he has always valued my professional opinion. So every few months he’ll reach out to me to say hello and get my advice on promoting his career. And so this morning I had a conversation with him---giving him some professional advice and normally I’d keep my professional life separate from my private life—that is my Spiritual life. Even on my job folk know that I’m a believer, but I don’t go around preaching or wearing “I’m a Christian” on my forehead. I have two girlfriends who are believers that I work with and so conversations about my Christian lifestyle are usually limited to them.
But this morning as I was talking to the comedian, I felt compelled to ask him about his prayer life and his spiritual beliefs. To my surprise he revealed a personal issue that has been going on that he’s been in constant prayer about. Our conversation took on a whole new direction and I almost held back---just trying not to make him feel uncomfortable. Or perhaps….make myself feel uncomfortable. But the conversation was deep in which we talked about spiritual warfare. After I hung up, I fully understood my ministry.
Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” --Mark 16:14-18
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Do Not Block My Blessings!!!
I had a strange dream last night. Actually, it ain’t all that strange because it has been brought to the forefront in several of my pastor’s messages the last few months. So I’ll just say that the dream was bothersome.
I dreamt that I was trying to get to a certain city, which I will not mention, but the folk who I was traveling with kept procrastinating and coming up with excuses so we never made it there. The certain city in my dream in reality is only about two hours away. And in the dream I remember that we were trying to make arrangements to get there by Amtrak. We were trying to meet up with some friends who were to be at a concert at a church in that city. But I kept saying that if we took the train we would still have to find a way to the church. Nobody was listening to me. Finally, my oldest sister broke off several pieces of strings and handed it to each of us. Its obvious what the string represented, so what I did---in the dream---is decided to drive my car.
Ok, once I had decided to drive my car one of my younger sisters had asked to ride with me. She wanted to get to this city as well. In real life, I always get on this particular sister because she can’t make a move without at least one of her many girlfriends. Every family event she brings one or all of her girlfriends. Even to some of our most private and intimate family functions….she brings her girlfriends. Over the years I have spoken openly about this because she has fallen into a very dependent type of mindset. And at times I get pissed because my mother seems to encourage her dependency. Ok, don’t get me wrong…..I love her best girlfriend. And her boyfriend. But sometimes she allows her little ghetto girlfriends to tag along and at one point or another…..their ghetto character is exposed causing embarrassment to the family.
In the dream, I told my sister that I was going to wash my car and that I’d be right back to pick her up, and that she’d better be ready. In real life, she’s also my sister who is ALWAYS late—lol. So I got into my car---it was my old car in which in real life I gave to this particular sister---and I headed to the car wash. As I was driving I ran smack dab into a brick wall. In reality the car would have been totalled and obviously hindering me from getting to my destination. But I turned around and drove back toward the house. I had decided not to get my car washed because we were running late.
When I got back to the house, there was this HUGE leak almost like the size of a pool that was blocking me from getting to the house to get my sister. The water in the leak was muddy. I know from looking up the meaning of dreams that muddy water means negativity. But I was determined. So I climbed up on the side of the house trying to reach a rope that was hanging from the roof. I knew that if I could grab the rope I’d make it over the water. I made it. But when I got to my sister……..she had all of her girlfriends with her. At that point, I woke up. And we never made it to the city.
Ironically, in real life, back in the early nineties me and one of my girlfriends had met these two guys at a concert. The two guys sang with a very well-known group. The two guys were “celebrities” in their own right, one going on to becoming a Gospel solo artist, and so when they took interest in us we were ecstatic. When they would tour we would meet them in certain cities. But one particular time they’d decided that they wanted us to spend New Year’s with them and their family, so they invited us to their hometown. We were soooo excited.
I remember me and my girlfriend had purchased our plane tickets right after Thanksgiving. And up until we were to leave the anticipation had skyrocketed. The way it was planned, still being young students, she and I would share in the travel expenses making it affordable for the both of us. And even though we were young, we knew better not to allow these dudes to pay for anything giving them a false sense of control over us. And we were from DC. We had established this "I'm and independent woman" in which they loved--lol. And besides that, she and I were trying to live a godly life. I mean we were TRYING--lol. But we didn't want to make a negative statement.
The dude who I was “attached” to had become a dear friend to me. Over the course of a year, he and I had established a bond. When they were on tour in real far cities, I’d wait until he’d finish performing, which was usually around midnight, and we’d talk on the phone until the daylight. About ANY and EVERYTHING. He was my friend. And so I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with him on New Year’s. And was even more honored that he wanted to cross over into a new year with me. My girlfriend and her friend were moving a little fast. Dude wanted to marry her, but she was at a point in her life where she was trying to hear from God, but being interrupted with fleshly desires. She was falling for dude and they’d become real public with their relationship.
The day before we were leaving, I was in the hair salon getting done up for my friend and my girlfriend paged me (remember pagers????—I had a purple one--lolol…..oh goodness), but she paged me 9-1-1. When I called her back she told me that she had decided not to go on the trip. I was stunned. Over that month there was no inclination that she didn’t want to go. I knew that she was dealing with her own personal issues, but never thought that it would have a burden on a commitment that she made, not to dude, but to ME! For hours she and I went back and forth. I was stuck. My friend was adamant about me still coming. But it was no fun without my girlfriend. So I’d decided to cancel out as well. Canceling would have meant that we’d both lose hundreds of dollars. I was pissed. Not to mention that…….I really wanted to see my boo!!!
Later that night, in which our flight was to leave real early the next morning, my girlfriend called me and said that she had decided to go. I was sooo happy. When we arrived at the airport of their city, we got another issue. The guys had to be in a mandatory rehearsal so they had to send someone to pick us up from the airport and take us to the hotel. The person who picked us up was not pleased to be picking us up for whatever reason. On top of that, it was raining like cats and dogs. It was cold and wet, and my hair had flopped, and we were mad at their manager because we felt that he tried to sabotage our trip. It was ugly. But then…….
Later that afternoon, after me and my girlfriend settled in our hotel, my friend walked through the door and my world lit up. For the entire time that we were in town he did not leave my side. In fact, his group had a huge concert in their hometown while we were there and when I tell you we got the royal treatment……. They both made sure that me and my girlfriend were well-taken care of, and they made it known that we were with them. During our time alone, my friend and I spent some real quality time together. NO SEX AT ALL. Can’t say that we weren’t tempted and tried, but we were adamant about getting to know one another on a deeper level. Our conversations were very deep. He opened up and shared a lot about his career and personal life, and his love and thirst for God. He made me feel comfortable sharing myself. Up until him, and even after him, I wasn’t used to dealing with guys who LOVES God and shows it in his character. But he did. On top of that, the way he treated me in public was second to none. He did everything from carry me on his back over rain puddles to feeding me. He even taught me how to kiss. YESSSSS…..he taught me how to appreciate a kiss!!!
I remember the day we were leaving we had missed our flight. So me and my girlfriend had to arrange to take a flight that was a few hours later. The guys DID NOT want to see us leave and were glad that we’d missed our first flight. But then they had to take us to the airport to make the second flight. It was sooo cute. They kept stalling, making us push it close. They were making scene's in the airport like they were sad. It was like we were in a music video or making a commercial. I remember the four of us running through the airport, me with high-heeled boots on trying to run for my plane. This was waaay before 9/11 when loved ones could go to the gate. And I remember him holding my hand and carrying all my bags so that I wouldn’t fall.
After we returned home, he and I continued to talk for another couple of months. He adored me and I adored him. I didn’t like the long distance thing but I was willing to give it a try. But then he experienced a horrible tragedy that circulated quickly around the Gospel circuit. I remember when I heard the news. I was floored. I remember I was in a state of shock for days. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I just gave him his space to deal with his family. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to call, but he didn’t. From the gossip mill, I heard it nearly destroyed him so I took that as a sign to leave him alone and just pray. Weeks later, I knew that he and I would never talk again. At that point, I knew that he had come into my life for a specific reason. It took a while to accept, but eventually I did. To this day…….there is a standard in which I require in a relationship as far as communication and how a man treats me. It was my friend who set that standard.
Over the last few months, my pastor has been speaking a lot about blocked blessings. I’d even received a prophecy, in which I wrote about in an entry, that my marriage was blocked. It is becoming so clearer now. Satan has literally set up forces to block God’s blessings in our lives. When I was in church a few weeks ago, there was a prophecy given to a woman that her husband’s practice---he’s a medical doctor---had been blocked by satan. The visiting prophet told her that satan had blocked patients from coming in and that the practice was experiencing financial loss. The lady confirmed it even going as far as to say that her husband is depressed because he can’t figure out why all of his patients have stopped coming to him. The visiting prophet sat in a chair and demonstrated how satan was sitting in front of the door of her husband’s practice. When he told me about the block on my marriage, I couldn’t help but to envision satan sitting in front of me.
You know what…….I hear it all the time about Charismatic and Pentecostal Christians trying to fight satan in the Spiritual realm and in a nutshell they say we’re wasting our time. But they can say what they want!!! There are demonic forces set up just for God's people. Satan ain't thinking about the unsaved. He got them. Its the ones with destiny and purpose that he wants. Some of us have demonic forces behind the scenes and because we’re not walking totally in the Spirit and binding the enemy we’re allowing our blessings to be blocked. I’d be the first to say that when I pray I ask the Lord to open doors and to close doors. But there are some closed doors that the Lord has NOT closed. And it takes some serious warfare to remove satan so that those door will open.
Ok, can I just be blunt today? Thanks. Satan is so cunning that he is using the folk closest to us to block God’s blessings in our lives. It could be as simple as a girlfriend not liking your boyfriend. That boyfriend could be the very man that God has ordained for you to marry. Or in my personal case, a girlfriend trying to block a trip that was to teach me a life lesson on men. Yes, yes…..I’d also be first to say that I need the support of my loved ones; especially when making important decisions, but ultimately…….the decision should be from God. And we have to renew our minds daily through supplication to hear from Him. If not, we could be allowing folk to block our destiny. Satan is cunning. He comes in all kinds of packaging. Blocks on God’s blessings are demonic forces that we have to allow the Lord to work on our behalf to destroy!!!! God does not go against our will. Yes, He is ALL powerful. And can do ANYTHING. But He gave us the power to choose.
And I am sick and tired of hearing folk, especially Christians, say that since they are Christians satan can't bother them. That is not so!!! Our minds are the devil's playground. If that weren't so the Lord wouldn't have to continuously tell us through His word to renew our minds daily. Ok, can I take this a step further.......there are some blocked doors that the Lord has allowed satan to keep blocked just because we have rejected His will!!! When we allow our mindset to be coerced into satan's territory we can do and say some things that can destroy our destiny. Not to mention another person's destiny. I've noticed that when I've detatched myself from certain folks over the years and committed myself to the Lord's will.......doors started opening for me. I was able to accomplish some things in my life that I couldn't as long as I was attached to [certain folk]. I'm telling you.........blocked blessings are a HUGE tactic that satan uses on us.
Before closing this entry, I have to REPENT. I repent if I knowingly, or unknowingly, stood as a block in the way of somebody else’s blessings. Lord I ask that you would remove any blockings in my way so that Your perfect will will be fulfilled in my life.
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself." --Ezekiel 3:20-21
……….Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. ---Romans 14:13
I dreamt that I was trying to get to a certain city, which I will not mention, but the folk who I was traveling with kept procrastinating and coming up with excuses so we never made it there. The certain city in my dream in reality is only about two hours away. And in the dream I remember that we were trying to make arrangements to get there by Amtrak. We were trying to meet up with some friends who were to be at a concert at a church in that city. But I kept saying that if we took the train we would still have to find a way to the church. Nobody was listening to me. Finally, my oldest sister broke off several pieces of strings and handed it to each of us. Its obvious what the string represented, so what I did---in the dream---is decided to drive my car.
Ok, once I had decided to drive my car one of my younger sisters had asked to ride with me. She wanted to get to this city as well. In real life, I always get on this particular sister because she can’t make a move without at least one of her many girlfriends. Every family event she brings one or all of her girlfriends. Even to some of our most private and intimate family functions….she brings her girlfriends. Over the years I have spoken openly about this because she has fallen into a very dependent type of mindset. And at times I get pissed because my mother seems to encourage her dependency. Ok, don’t get me wrong…..I love her best girlfriend. And her boyfriend. But sometimes she allows her little ghetto girlfriends to tag along and at one point or another…..their ghetto character is exposed causing embarrassment to the family.
In the dream, I told my sister that I was going to wash my car and that I’d be right back to pick her up, and that she’d better be ready. In real life, she’s also my sister who is ALWAYS late—lol. So I got into my car---it was my old car in which in real life I gave to this particular sister---and I headed to the car wash. As I was driving I ran smack dab into a brick wall. In reality the car would have been totalled and obviously hindering me from getting to my destination. But I turned around and drove back toward the house. I had decided not to get my car washed because we were running late.
When I got back to the house, there was this HUGE leak almost like the size of a pool that was blocking me from getting to the house to get my sister. The water in the leak was muddy. I know from looking up the meaning of dreams that muddy water means negativity. But I was determined. So I climbed up on the side of the house trying to reach a rope that was hanging from the roof. I knew that if I could grab the rope I’d make it over the water. I made it. But when I got to my sister……..she had all of her girlfriends with her. At that point, I woke up. And we never made it to the city.
Ironically, in real life, back in the early nineties me and one of my girlfriends had met these two guys at a concert. The two guys sang with a very well-known group. The two guys were “celebrities” in their own right, one going on to becoming a Gospel solo artist, and so when they took interest in us we were ecstatic. When they would tour we would meet them in certain cities. But one particular time they’d decided that they wanted us to spend New Year’s with them and their family, so they invited us to their hometown. We were soooo excited.
I remember me and my girlfriend had purchased our plane tickets right after Thanksgiving. And up until we were to leave the anticipation had skyrocketed. The way it was planned, still being young students, she and I would share in the travel expenses making it affordable for the both of us. And even though we were young, we knew better not to allow these dudes to pay for anything giving them a false sense of control over us. And we were from DC. We had established this "I'm and independent woman" in which they loved--lol. And besides that, she and I were trying to live a godly life. I mean we were TRYING--lol. But we didn't want to make a negative statement.
The dude who I was “attached” to had become a dear friend to me. Over the course of a year, he and I had established a bond. When they were on tour in real far cities, I’d wait until he’d finish performing, which was usually around midnight, and we’d talk on the phone until the daylight. About ANY and EVERYTHING. He was my friend. And so I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with him on New Year’s. And was even more honored that he wanted to cross over into a new year with me. My girlfriend and her friend were moving a little fast. Dude wanted to marry her, but she was at a point in her life where she was trying to hear from God, but being interrupted with fleshly desires. She was falling for dude and they’d become real public with their relationship.
The day before we were leaving, I was in the hair salon getting done up for my friend and my girlfriend paged me (remember pagers????—I had a purple one--lolol…..oh goodness), but she paged me 9-1-1. When I called her back she told me that she had decided not to go on the trip. I was stunned. Over that month there was no inclination that she didn’t want to go. I knew that she was dealing with her own personal issues, but never thought that it would have a burden on a commitment that she made, not to dude, but to ME! For hours she and I went back and forth. I was stuck. My friend was adamant about me still coming. But it was no fun without my girlfriend. So I’d decided to cancel out as well. Canceling would have meant that we’d both lose hundreds of dollars. I was pissed. Not to mention that…….I really wanted to see my boo!!!
Later that night, in which our flight was to leave real early the next morning, my girlfriend called me and said that she had decided to go. I was sooo happy. When we arrived at the airport of their city, we got another issue. The guys had to be in a mandatory rehearsal so they had to send someone to pick us up from the airport and take us to the hotel. The person who picked us up was not pleased to be picking us up for whatever reason. On top of that, it was raining like cats and dogs. It was cold and wet, and my hair had flopped, and we were mad at their manager because we felt that he tried to sabotage our trip. It was ugly. But then…….
Later that afternoon, after me and my girlfriend settled in our hotel, my friend walked through the door and my world lit up. For the entire time that we were in town he did not leave my side. In fact, his group had a huge concert in their hometown while we were there and when I tell you we got the royal treatment……. They both made sure that me and my girlfriend were well-taken care of, and they made it known that we were with them. During our time alone, my friend and I spent some real quality time together. NO SEX AT ALL. Can’t say that we weren’t tempted and tried, but we were adamant about getting to know one another on a deeper level. Our conversations were very deep. He opened up and shared a lot about his career and personal life, and his love and thirst for God. He made me feel comfortable sharing myself. Up until him, and even after him, I wasn’t used to dealing with guys who LOVES God and shows it in his character. But he did. On top of that, the way he treated me in public was second to none. He did everything from carry me on his back over rain puddles to feeding me. He even taught me how to kiss. YESSSSS…..he taught me how to appreciate a kiss!!!
I remember the day we were leaving we had missed our flight. So me and my girlfriend had to arrange to take a flight that was a few hours later. The guys DID NOT want to see us leave and were glad that we’d missed our first flight. But then they had to take us to the airport to make the second flight. It was sooo cute. They kept stalling, making us push it close. They were making scene's in the airport like they were sad. It was like we were in a music video or making a commercial. I remember the four of us running through the airport, me with high-heeled boots on trying to run for my plane. This was waaay before 9/11 when loved ones could go to the gate. And I remember him holding my hand and carrying all my bags so that I wouldn’t fall.
After we returned home, he and I continued to talk for another couple of months. He adored me and I adored him. I didn’t like the long distance thing but I was willing to give it a try. But then he experienced a horrible tragedy that circulated quickly around the Gospel circuit. I remember when I heard the news. I was floored. I remember I was in a state of shock for days. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I just gave him his space to deal with his family. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to call, but he didn’t. From the gossip mill, I heard it nearly destroyed him so I took that as a sign to leave him alone and just pray. Weeks later, I knew that he and I would never talk again. At that point, I knew that he had come into my life for a specific reason. It took a while to accept, but eventually I did. To this day…….there is a standard in which I require in a relationship as far as communication and how a man treats me. It was my friend who set that standard.
Over the last few months, my pastor has been speaking a lot about blocked blessings. I’d even received a prophecy, in which I wrote about in an entry, that my marriage was blocked. It is becoming so clearer now. Satan has literally set up forces to block God’s blessings in our lives. When I was in church a few weeks ago, there was a prophecy given to a woman that her husband’s practice---he’s a medical doctor---had been blocked by satan. The visiting prophet told her that satan had blocked patients from coming in and that the practice was experiencing financial loss. The lady confirmed it even going as far as to say that her husband is depressed because he can’t figure out why all of his patients have stopped coming to him. The visiting prophet sat in a chair and demonstrated how satan was sitting in front of the door of her husband’s practice. When he told me about the block on my marriage, I couldn’t help but to envision satan sitting in front of me.
You know what…….I hear it all the time about Charismatic and Pentecostal Christians trying to fight satan in the Spiritual realm and in a nutshell they say we’re wasting our time. But they can say what they want!!! There are demonic forces set up just for God's people. Satan ain't thinking about the unsaved. He got them. Its the ones with destiny and purpose that he wants. Some of us have demonic forces behind the scenes and because we’re not walking totally in the Spirit and binding the enemy we’re allowing our blessings to be blocked. I’d be the first to say that when I pray I ask the Lord to open doors and to close doors. But there are some closed doors that the Lord has NOT closed. And it takes some serious warfare to remove satan so that those door will open.
Ok, can I just be blunt today? Thanks. Satan is so cunning that he is using the folk closest to us to block God’s blessings in our lives. It could be as simple as a girlfriend not liking your boyfriend. That boyfriend could be the very man that God has ordained for you to marry. Or in my personal case, a girlfriend trying to block a trip that was to teach me a life lesson on men. Yes, yes…..I’d also be first to say that I need the support of my loved ones; especially when making important decisions, but ultimately…….the decision should be from God. And we have to renew our minds daily through supplication to hear from Him. If not, we could be allowing folk to block our destiny. Satan is cunning. He comes in all kinds of packaging. Blocks on God’s blessings are demonic forces that we have to allow the Lord to work on our behalf to destroy!!!! God does not go against our will. Yes, He is ALL powerful. And can do ANYTHING. But He gave us the power to choose.
And I am sick and tired of hearing folk, especially Christians, say that since they are Christians satan can't bother them. That is not so!!! Our minds are the devil's playground. If that weren't so the Lord wouldn't have to continuously tell us through His word to renew our minds daily. Ok, can I take this a step further.......there are some blocked doors that the Lord has allowed satan to keep blocked just because we have rejected His will!!! When we allow our mindset to be coerced into satan's territory we can do and say some things that can destroy our destiny. Not to mention another person's destiny. I've noticed that when I've detatched myself from certain folks over the years and committed myself to the Lord's will.......doors started opening for me. I was able to accomplish some things in my life that I couldn't as long as I was attached to [certain folk]. I'm telling you.........blocked blessings are a HUGE tactic that satan uses on us.
Before closing this entry, I have to REPENT. I repent if I knowingly, or unknowingly, stood as a block in the way of somebody else’s blessings. Lord I ask that you would remove any blockings in my way so that Your perfect will will be fulfilled in my life.
"Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself." --Ezekiel 3:20-21
……….Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. ---Romans 14:13
Friday, September 11, 2009
Never Can Forget
I think everybody and their momma got a 9/11 story. Understandably so, because that day earth stood still. Man, where in the world do I began at in my story.
Ok, I remember waking up to a BEAUTIFUL morning. The sky was extra clear. And the day had a freshness to it. At the time, I was living about five minutes from my mother and so she’d asked me the night before if I could pick her up that morning cause she had an early meeting downtown. My norm then was to drive to the metro which was just a few minutes from my house. And so since I had to pick up my mother who was just three minutes out the way, I didn’t feel the need to adjust my schedule.
That morning, after picking up my mother we got to the metro and found that the parking garage was full. That was definitely out of the norm. Cause the garage was NEVER full. But it was a beautiful day and so normal drivers probably decided to enjoy the metro ride instead of driving in. I was pissed. And probably cussed and fussed since I was still in my backslidden state—lol. Soooo, I had to drive to work. All the way downtown. Which would’ve cost me $13 to park in my office’s garage.
Traffic on the way downtown was smooth. In fact, it was so smooth that I decided to pull over at a deli on the way and grab an onion bagel with veggie cream cheese. I’ll NEVER forget that bagel!! When we left the deli, I dropped my mother off at her meeting in the metro center area. I headed upper northwest to my office in Dupont Circle. When I got to my office, I turned on my computer and sat down to eat my bagel. Just when I was about to take a bite…..my phone rang. It was one of my girlfriends. She and I were chatting about nothing and then I heard my boss scream from his office…….. “A plane just crashed into the twin towers!!!” Everybody went running into his office.
Then the second plane hit!
And without much more thought, my boss---a very smart man---simply said….. “it’s an attack”. The office staff were at a standstill watching the news in the conference room. You could hear a pin drop. Then all of a sudden somebody shouted…… “we’re being hit too!!!” On the television we watched the twin towers in smoke and looked out the window and saw a building in smoke. From our window we couldn’t tell what was on fire, but knew that it was major. We first thought it was the White House. But then we got breaking news that it was indeed the Pentagon. The Director of the small nonprofit organization simply told us to go home.
Just as all of DC, I was frantic and didn’t know whether I was coming or going. My colleague, who lived in northern VA was terrified to ride the metro. In fact, I don’t remember what happened with metro. So I told my colleague to just come home with me. Cause I wasn’t crossing no bridge—lol. No one was thinking logically that day. I remember pulling my car out of the garage and it took me an hour to get to the corner. Gridlock, road block, J-walking, and all kinda motor vehicle laws were breaking. No one cared. Cause everybody understood. We just wanted to get home to our families. To safety.
If I had remembered my route home, I still couldn’t remember to remember it on 9/11. My mind was not focused on nothing but getting out of DC. And so I just drove in the direction of where all the cars were moving. I was clearly off my route to home, but I was moving out of DC and that was all that mattered. Then if not my mind, my heart screamed……. “my mother!!!” The way the traffic was moving took me further away from where my mother’s meeting was. All I could do was pray that somebody had had mercy on her and gave her a ride into Maryland. Cause cell phones did not work. And there was absolutely no way to get in touch with your loved ones even if you tried. It was horrific.
But God.
Let me tell you how awesome God is. I was driving and my colleague was sitting in the passenger seat. My mind was in a daze. Horns were bonking and folk were everywhere. Some running, but most walking swiftly to get out of dodge. And then my colleague says….. “that woman is just standing there like she’s waiting for a ride, but nobody’s coming to get her in all this mess.” I looked over…….and it was my mother!!!! When she saw me and got in my car she said she had walked and walked, and the Lord told her to just standstill and wait. And that’s what she did. It was purely an act of God.
By the time we got home it was mid afternoon. We were stuck in traffic trying to get into Maryland for hours. Just as we got into Maryland, my colleague was able to get a connection on her phone and called her mom. Her parents came to my house to get her. Cause I wasn’t crossing over no bridge---lol. Did I mention that? I made it clear then, and I’ll make it clear now.
I was soooo mentally and emotionally drained. Cause my family is split between DC and New York. Calls were flying back and forth, and we were trying to account for everybody. By the time we completed the family roll call it was evening. Everybody had stories and everybody wanted to know…….what next?
As I lay in bed watching the news, I was solemn. But then I saw a news flash that pissed me off!!! Normally, as in most states, when there’s inclement weather the news stations will flash school and office closings. And so they used this same format to keep us up-to-date on the latest closings. Understandable. This is an emergency. But then I saw SEVERAL mega churches in the area flash across the screen that they were canceling bible study and Tuesday night services. I couldn’t believe it. You mean to tell me the church’s doors aren’t open so that we could come together and pray for our country. I could NOT believe it. I think that’s when I started looking at the church a little differently.
The September 11, 2001 attacks were the worst public catastrophe in my lifetime. I wasn’t born on D-day, or the killings of MLK or JFK. And I kinda thought I’d escape that sorta tragedy in my lifetime. But I didn’t. I will never forget that day. I haven’t had a bagel and cream cheese since. That day my heart hurt for my country. And today, my heart and prayers continue to go out to all the victims of 9/11.
One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me; therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD. --Psalm 27:4-6
Ok, I remember waking up to a BEAUTIFUL morning. The sky was extra clear. And the day had a freshness to it. At the time, I was living about five minutes from my mother and so she’d asked me the night before if I could pick her up that morning cause she had an early meeting downtown. My norm then was to drive to the metro which was just a few minutes from my house. And so since I had to pick up my mother who was just three minutes out the way, I didn’t feel the need to adjust my schedule.
That morning, after picking up my mother we got to the metro and found that the parking garage was full. That was definitely out of the norm. Cause the garage was NEVER full. But it was a beautiful day and so normal drivers probably decided to enjoy the metro ride instead of driving in. I was pissed. And probably cussed and fussed since I was still in my backslidden state—lol. Soooo, I had to drive to work. All the way downtown. Which would’ve cost me $13 to park in my office’s garage.
Traffic on the way downtown was smooth. In fact, it was so smooth that I decided to pull over at a deli on the way and grab an onion bagel with veggie cream cheese. I’ll NEVER forget that bagel!! When we left the deli, I dropped my mother off at her meeting in the metro center area. I headed upper northwest to my office in Dupont Circle. When I got to my office, I turned on my computer and sat down to eat my bagel. Just when I was about to take a bite…..my phone rang. It was one of my girlfriends. She and I were chatting about nothing and then I heard my boss scream from his office…….. “A plane just crashed into the twin towers!!!” Everybody went running into his office.
Then the second plane hit!
And without much more thought, my boss---a very smart man---simply said….. “it’s an attack”. The office staff were at a standstill watching the news in the conference room. You could hear a pin drop. Then all of a sudden somebody shouted…… “we’re being hit too!!!” On the television we watched the twin towers in smoke and looked out the window and saw a building in smoke. From our window we couldn’t tell what was on fire, but knew that it was major. We first thought it was the White House. But then we got breaking news that it was indeed the Pentagon. The Director of the small nonprofit organization simply told us to go home.
Just as all of DC, I was frantic and didn’t know whether I was coming or going. My colleague, who lived in northern VA was terrified to ride the metro. In fact, I don’t remember what happened with metro. So I told my colleague to just come home with me. Cause I wasn’t crossing no bridge—lol. No one was thinking logically that day. I remember pulling my car out of the garage and it took me an hour to get to the corner. Gridlock, road block, J-walking, and all kinda motor vehicle laws were breaking. No one cared. Cause everybody understood. We just wanted to get home to our families. To safety.
If I had remembered my route home, I still couldn’t remember to remember it on 9/11. My mind was not focused on nothing but getting out of DC. And so I just drove in the direction of where all the cars were moving. I was clearly off my route to home, but I was moving out of DC and that was all that mattered. Then if not my mind, my heart screamed……. “my mother!!!” The way the traffic was moving took me further away from where my mother’s meeting was. All I could do was pray that somebody had had mercy on her and gave her a ride into Maryland. Cause cell phones did not work. And there was absolutely no way to get in touch with your loved ones even if you tried. It was horrific.
But God.
Let me tell you how awesome God is. I was driving and my colleague was sitting in the passenger seat. My mind was in a daze. Horns were bonking and folk were everywhere. Some running, but most walking swiftly to get out of dodge. And then my colleague says….. “that woman is just standing there like she’s waiting for a ride, but nobody’s coming to get her in all this mess.” I looked over…….and it was my mother!!!! When she saw me and got in my car she said she had walked and walked, and the Lord told her to just standstill and wait. And that’s what she did. It was purely an act of God.
By the time we got home it was mid afternoon. We were stuck in traffic trying to get into Maryland for hours. Just as we got into Maryland, my colleague was able to get a connection on her phone and called her mom. Her parents came to my house to get her. Cause I wasn’t crossing over no bridge---lol. Did I mention that? I made it clear then, and I’ll make it clear now.
I was soooo mentally and emotionally drained. Cause my family is split between DC and New York. Calls were flying back and forth, and we were trying to account for everybody. By the time we completed the family roll call it was evening. Everybody had stories and everybody wanted to know…….what next?
As I lay in bed watching the news, I was solemn. But then I saw a news flash that pissed me off!!! Normally, as in most states, when there’s inclement weather the news stations will flash school and office closings. And so they used this same format to keep us up-to-date on the latest closings. Understandable. This is an emergency. But then I saw SEVERAL mega churches in the area flash across the screen that they were canceling bible study and Tuesday night services. I couldn’t believe it. You mean to tell me the church’s doors aren’t open so that we could come together and pray for our country. I could NOT believe it. I think that’s when I started looking at the church a little differently.
The September 11, 2001 attacks were the worst public catastrophe in my lifetime. I wasn’t born on D-day, or the killings of MLK or JFK. And I kinda thought I’d escape that sorta tragedy in my lifetime. But I didn’t. I will never forget that day. I haven’t had a bagel and cream cheese since. That day my heart hurt for my country. And today, my heart and prayers continue to go out to all the victims of 9/11.
One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me; therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD. --Psalm 27:4-6
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Taking It All In
These last few days have been physically and mentally draining. Can I be real today? Cause I think I just need to lay some things on the table. So can I say what the heck I feel like saying today? Thanks. Ok, so my church has been in revival for the last two weeks. In the midst of the revival a whole lotta stuff has taken place with me---lots and lots of thoughts and decisions on my mind that resulted in some emotional outpourings. Last week, I literally felt myself go to a higher spiritual level and so you know how the saying goes……the higher the level, the higher the devil. And I tell you…..it felt like satan was waiting for me to get off at the next floor up cause dude greeted me with his little pitchfork just as I was about to step out.
With all of the emotional craziness I still managed to put in some QT with my inner circle and go to my church’s picnic which was super fun. Since it was a long weekend, in which is like gold for some of us working folk--lol, I didn’t want to be confined to the clock. I just wanted to spend my long weekend sporadically and impromptu. You know….going with the flow. Well, I think that pissed some folk off cause what they had “planned” for my weekend I cancelled at the last minute. Don’t usually operate in this manner, but I felt the need to just do me.
Yesterday I straight up played hooky from work. Just didn’t feel like going. On Monday, my “laborless” holiday, I took full advantage of and spent the day lounging around the house. I managed to cook a nice dinner, get some QT in over the phone, but that was it. When it was time for me to get up for work yesterday morning, I looked at the clock and said to myself……what’s the darn use. Is it just me or is anyone else feeling a little purposeless????
For the last nine months I have been spiritually fed tremendously and sitting like a stuff pig--lol. I asked the Lord to take me to another level, and He has answered my prayers triple fold. But just last week I started to feel like I needed to release. You know....spread some of what I've been taught. Like I was taking so much in that I felt the need to be pouring out. On a full-time basis. Don’t get me wrong……I love my job and love what I do….its just that it’s beginning to not be so fulfilling anymore. Do you understand me? It feels like I need to be doing more. And so sometimes getting up doing the routine norm gets to me. And yesterday……it got to me.
For about a straight four hours I sat back and thought about all the things I could be doing. Not to toot my own horn……but I’m good at doing a lot of things--lol. You know how we do....we can turn a hobby into a ministry real quick---lol. Over the years, I’ve been juggling several projects at once and this is the first time that I’m not so busy. In fact, I only turn on my computer at home to check my email. And so yesterday, I just sat back and thought about what I wanted to get into next. About three months ago, I was heavily involved in a personal project that stemmed from my professional work, that could be ministry very easily. The ground work was set in place and I had come across several interested people who were willing and excited to support the project, but one evening while I sat still to listen to the Lord after praying I heard the Lord say….. “Not now” to the project. For a long while I was questioning the voice of the Lord like perhaps I didn’t hear His voice, but something in my spirit wouldn’t allow me to move forward.
Yesterday, I thought long and hard about that project again and decided to proceed with it. I tried to justify what I thought I heard or didn’t hear the Lord say. And the more I tried to figure it out, the more I ignored what I KNOW I heard the Lord speak to me. The ignorance resulted into…….proceed. Cause my life felt/feels purposeless and I needed some activity to fill the void. In fact, I felt so purposeless that I decided to go to the gym and walk on a low speed while brainstorming the project’s to-do list. While walking at a steady 2.5 pace on the treadmill I mapped out everything. I picked up where I had left off back in May. And up until I went to bed last night I felt like a woman on a mission. I felt purposeful and empowered.
This morning when I woke up, the Lord met me at my morning thoughts. This is indeed when I hear the Lord speak clearest to me. And so as I lay there, before getting out the bed and even before praying, the Lord reminded me of a book I read last year called….. “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.” Immediately, I halted---mind, body, and spirit. Cause I knew what the Lord was saying. And so I repented. And as I repented the Lord started sharing some things with me.
You know what…..I firmly believe that one of the trickiest tactics that satan will try to place on us is “fulfilling purpose”. I hear some form of “purpose” at least five times a week. Cause those of us in the Body of Christ have been conditioned to know, accept, pursue, fulfill, or do…….purpose in order to please God. Many times---many, many times---purpose gets twisted. There is such a thin line between being obedient to God’s instruction and personal agenda in which we interpret as…..purpose. In addition to this, many of us have been tricked into believing that purpose rests and relies on a platform. Therefore, you will see many Christians writing books, becoming motivational speakers, and/or forming little cliques or “alliances” where the “chosen one who is fulfilling purpose” leads a bunch of vulnerable folk to…..only God knows where. You know what’s sad????? Seeing men and women of God supposedly fulfilling purpose while in the midst of a divorce---and I’m talking about pastors and first ladies. Or those who are “fulfilling purpose” and can’t even open their mouths to speak to their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are indeed supporting their "ministry".
So this morning, even though I didn’t want to be…..I was obedient and I sat still to listen to the voice of the Lord. The sad truth is that I heard this message before. I think it was last year. It was the same message that had me look at the fall of Eve. Where Eve was so eager to act upon personal agenda, which was a satanic command, that she forfeited Godly instruction of obedience at the expense of mankind. An act that was laced with innocence, but to increase self. This act is so prevalent amongst Christians. As I’ve said many, many times in entries……I come across so many “Christian ministry” websites of those who claim to promote Jesus, but in reality they are promoting self, that I get turned off. A couple of months ago I was recommended a site by a sister at my church of a pastor’s wife who developed a clothing line called “Jesus Girl”. At first I thought it was kinda cute, but when I got on the site and saw the tight-fitting tees that boasted the brand I didn’t see Jesus no where in it. In fact, the message was quite clear that Jesus wasn’t being uplifting…..Jesus “girl” was.
Over the years, I’m sure you too have heard the common saying that I don’t want to get to heaven and find out that I didn’t use my gifts and talents to fulfill purpose for the Kingdom of God. As I sat back and listened this morning I was getting ready to make my spiel before the Lord about “my purpose” and the Holy Spirit softly answered…… “no, you don’t want to get to heaven and I say what you have spent fruitless time doing was not at all purposed by Me.” And without taking up too much more time, the Lord reminded me that all of His children are ministers of reconciliation. That we all are purposed to love and spread the good news. That is the great commission in which we have been purposed to do. And He reminded me that each time I get up to go to work, vibrant, and full of life given of myself unselfishly and extending a hand to my fellow colleague……that’s fulfilling purpose. All other stuff is plain old…….self-seeking, busyness.
So of course you know me…..I couldn’t let it rest. I wanted to know……Lord, is this it for me---just being fulfilled and fulfilling purpose by what I do on my day job and whatever my pastor appoints me to do at church? And the Lord answered yet again…… “just keep walking by faith for when My door opens you’ll know. As always learn of ME and proceed in obedience.” This morning I walked through my office doors with a huge smile on my face if for no other reason than to show appreciation for having a job, but I knew I was smiling for much more than that.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." --Luke 10:38-42
With all of the emotional craziness I still managed to put in some QT with my inner circle and go to my church’s picnic which was super fun. Since it was a long weekend, in which is like gold for some of us working folk--lol, I didn’t want to be confined to the clock. I just wanted to spend my long weekend sporadically and impromptu. You know….going with the flow. Well, I think that pissed some folk off cause what they had “planned” for my weekend I cancelled at the last minute. Don’t usually operate in this manner, but I felt the need to just do me.
Yesterday I straight up played hooky from work. Just didn’t feel like going. On Monday, my “laborless” holiday, I took full advantage of and spent the day lounging around the house. I managed to cook a nice dinner, get some QT in over the phone, but that was it. When it was time for me to get up for work yesterday morning, I looked at the clock and said to myself……what’s the darn use. Is it just me or is anyone else feeling a little purposeless????
For the last nine months I have been spiritually fed tremendously and sitting like a stuff pig--lol. I asked the Lord to take me to another level, and He has answered my prayers triple fold. But just last week I started to feel like I needed to release. You know....spread some of what I've been taught. Like I was taking so much in that I felt the need to be pouring out. On a full-time basis. Don’t get me wrong……I love my job and love what I do….its just that it’s beginning to not be so fulfilling anymore. Do you understand me? It feels like I need to be doing more. And so sometimes getting up doing the routine norm gets to me. And yesterday……it got to me.
For about a straight four hours I sat back and thought about all the things I could be doing. Not to toot my own horn……but I’m good at doing a lot of things--lol. You know how we do....we can turn a hobby into a ministry real quick---lol. Over the years, I’ve been juggling several projects at once and this is the first time that I’m not so busy. In fact, I only turn on my computer at home to check my email. And so yesterday, I just sat back and thought about what I wanted to get into next. About three months ago, I was heavily involved in a personal project that stemmed from my professional work, that could be ministry very easily. The ground work was set in place and I had come across several interested people who were willing and excited to support the project, but one evening while I sat still to listen to the Lord after praying I heard the Lord say….. “Not now” to the project. For a long while I was questioning the voice of the Lord like perhaps I didn’t hear His voice, but something in my spirit wouldn’t allow me to move forward.
Yesterday, I thought long and hard about that project again and decided to proceed with it. I tried to justify what I thought I heard or didn’t hear the Lord say. And the more I tried to figure it out, the more I ignored what I KNOW I heard the Lord speak to me. The ignorance resulted into…….proceed. Cause my life felt/feels purposeless and I needed some activity to fill the void. In fact, I felt so purposeless that I decided to go to the gym and walk on a low speed while brainstorming the project’s to-do list. While walking at a steady 2.5 pace on the treadmill I mapped out everything. I picked up where I had left off back in May. And up until I went to bed last night I felt like a woman on a mission. I felt purposeful and empowered.
This morning when I woke up, the Lord met me at my morning thoughts. This is indeed when I hear the Lord speak clearest to me. And so as I lay there, before getting out the bed and even before praying, the Lord reminded me of a book I read last year called….. “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.” Immediately, I halted---mind, body, and spirit. Cause I knew what the Lord was saying. And so I repented. And as I repented the Lord started sharing some things with me.
You know what…..I firmly believe that one of the trickiest tactics that satan will try to place on us is “fulfilling purpose”. I hear some form of “purpose” at least five times a week. Cause those of us in the Body of Christ have been conditioned to know, accept, pursue, fulfill, or do…….purpose in order to please God. Many times---many, many times---purpose gets twisted. There is such a thin line between being obedient to God’s instruction and personal agenda in which we interpret as…..purpose. In addition to this, many of us have been tricked into believing that purpose rests and relies on a platform. Therefore, you will see many Christians writing books, becoming motivational speakers, and/or forming little cliques or “alliances” where the “chosen one who is fulfilling purpose” leads a bunch of vulnerable folk to…..only God knows where. You know what’s sad????? Seeing men and women of God supposedly fulfilling purpose while in the midst of a divorce---and I’m talking about pastors and first ladies. Or those who are “fulfilling purpose” and can’t even open their mouths to speak to their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are indeed supporting their "ministry".
So this morning, even though I didn’t want to be…..I was obedient and I sat still to listen to the voice of the Lord. The sad truth is that I heard this message before. I think it was last year. It was the same message that had me look at the fall of Eve. Where Eve was so eager to act upon personal agenda, which was a satanic command, that she forfeited Godly instruction of obedience at the expense of mankind. An act that was laced with innocence, but to increase self. This act is so prevalent amongst Christians. As I’ve said many, many times in entries……I come across so many “Christian ministry” websites of those who claim to promote Jesus, but in reality they are promoting self, that I get turned off. A couple of months ago I was recommended a site by a sister at my church of a pastor’s wife who developed a clothing line called “Jesus Girl”. At first I thought it was kinda cute, but when I got on the site and saw the tight-fitting tees that boasted the brand I didn’t see Jesus no where in it. In fact, the message was quite clear that Jesus wasn’t being uplifting…..Jesus “girl” was.
Over the years, I’m sure you too have heard the common saying that I don’t want to get to heaven and find out that I didn’t use my gifts and talents to fulfill purpose for the Kingdom of God. As I sat back and listened this morning I was getting ready to make my spiel before the Lord about “my purpose” and the Holy Spirit softly answered…… “no, you don’t want to get to heaven and I say what you have spent fruitless time doing was not at all purposed by Me.” And without taking up too much more time, the Lord reminded me that all of His children are ministers of reconciliation. That we all are purposed to love and spread the good news. That is the great commission in which we have been purposed to do. And He reminded me that each time I get up to go to work, vibrant, and full of life given of myself unselfishly and extending a hand to my fellow colleague……that’s fulfilling purpose. All other stuff is plain old…….self-seeking, busyness.
So of course you know me…..I couldn’t let it rest. I wanted to know……Lord, is this it for me---just being fulfilled and fulfilling purpose by what I do on my day job and whatever my pastor appoints me to do at church? And the Lord answered yet again…… “just keep walking by faith for when My door opens you’ll know. As always learn of ME and proceed in obedience.” This morning I walked through my office doors with a huge smile on my face if for no other reason than to show appreciation for having a job, but I knew I was smiling for much more than that.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." --Luke 10:38-42
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Prepared for Battle
Wow!!! How in the world can I make literary sense of what has been happening in my life the last five days or so. My spiritual journey just went to the next level. Wow!!
Ok, so last Friday night was all night prayer at my church. Actually, we do more than just pray. It’s actually more like a prayer service but with praise and worship, the prophetic, and of course the spoken word. But the night is centered on prayer in which we start the first two hours in intercession and throughout the night praying for specifics collectively as the Holy Spirit leads.
Our all night prayer services, called War Cry, are every last Friday of the month. And since it began a couple months ago it has grown like wild fire. My church is rather small in congregation since it was only established about 18 months ago---maybe about 400 members. But because of the powerful prayer we do a lot of visitors are drawn to the church. And when the prophet is visiting from Africa many come out to hear his accurate revelations. The visiting prophet called one lady out to prophesy to her nine year old daughter. But before he did he asked the lady where she attended church and she told him [a well-known ministry in the area], but she said frankly that she comes to [my] church to get fed. Well, she got a full course meal on Friday cause after the prophet spoke specifics about her daughter, and husband who wasn’t there, the lady was speechless. I saw her for service on Sunday morning and Sunday evening.
Then……yours truly got called out--lol. Ok, let me say this right now before I go any further. I believe HEAVILY in the prophetic as well as laying hands to heal and deliver. I was brought up in the Pentecostal church so none of this is surprising to me. Back in the eighties, I actually witnessed my mother being drunk one night (many, many nights), went to church at the urging of a friend on the next night, and got instantly delivered from alcohol and cigarettes. Our household went from one extreme to the next in ONE WEEK!!!! And as soon as the Lord delivered my mother and stepfather the favor of God started flowing. We went from a low-income apartment complex to a well-known, admired, middle-class community in about a year and a half. Change happened quickly for my family. So I know first hand the power of God, and how He works through deliverance.
Ok, so I got called out on Friday night. It had to be about 2:30 in the morning. And I think I was walking in circles praying diligently and trying not to fall asleep---lol. My girlfriend, “E” was sitting next to me. She’s been visiting my church since January and says she always gets a breakthrough when she visits. And so the prophet came and laid his hands on "E", but then he had the deacons pull me out to the altar. Ok, in case you don’t know……I’m shy!! LOL. Ok, wait…….I have a very bold personality, but I know when to be assertive and when to be humble. I’m very assertive in the workplace and other places where needed. But when I get into the House of the Lord, I immediately humble myself. I’m like a sheep in church. I cry at any little thing and I am in a zone. A Holy Ghost zone---lol. I go to church to give up praise and worship to God and leave receiving whatever He has for me. I take my worship time in church VERY seriously. Church is a “no drama” zone for me. If there is an issue we can take it up in the parking lot. But in the House of God……..uhhhhh not---lol.
So the prophet calls me to the front and he looks at my stomach. I started to feel uncomfortable because I’ve been slacking on my crunches. I hate stomach exercises. Anyway……he kept staring at my stomach. And so he asks me where my children were. And I said that I didn’t have any children. And so he asked me why. I wanted to say…… “you tell me Mr. Prophet!” but I humbly said that I didn’t know. Then he asked why I wasn’t married. Again, I shrugged my shoulders. Cause I didn't know why I’m not married. I don’t know why [my friend] don’t know how to go past third base with me, and bring it on home---lol. Then he kept staring at me and the more he stared it was getting harder for me to hold back my tears. And then the tears started falling. Before he could lay his oily hands on my forehead I dropped to the floor.
On Saturday I was just out of it all day---physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was so exhausted. Cause the prophet (the one at my church and the ones I’ve seen in the past) usually comes with a word confirming what the receiver already knows. But his prophecy to me was as if he was telling me that I had the answers already, and that he didn’t need to tell me nothing cause I already knew. Well, he was kinda right. I mean, I did/do know that the little he told me was confirmed in my spirit. But I wanted him to delve deeply in it. I know/knew that my marriage is blocked. I just didn’t know how or why. You know we always blame this sort of issue on "another woman" not knowing the real force behind the block.
So Sunday I went to morning service. I started not to go cause I was still very much exhausted from all-night prayer and I wasn’t up for the 45 minute drive to church. But something in my spirit got me up just in time and said….. “GO!” The prophet was actually speaking on Sunday morning and so I did want to hear his message. When I got to church I glimpsed at the other side and saw that my mother and two aunts were visiting and sitting with my oldest sister. Service was awesome and right before it ended the prophet called one of my aunts out. Now let me remind you that I was sitting on the other side of the church. Dude had no idea that I was related to anybody over on that other side. He doesn't know us.
So the prophet calls my aunt out and tells her that her struggles are over. She, of course, starts crying. He then tells her that there was a curse put on her years ago that was supposed to take her out but instead of attacking her the curse went to her daughters. He told her that’s why her oldest daughter was lying in the hospital right now. So true. My cousin/sister has been battling this mysterious illness that has caused her to not walk. Doctors can’t figure it out. So all of a sudden, I quickened and got up to run out the church, but it was as if the Holy Spirit had grabbed me not to leave and I fell to the floor before I could even get out the row. As I lay there zoned, I heard the prophet tell my aunt that her daughter that is in the hospital marriage was blocked and that the girl over there (referring to me) marriage was blocked also, but when she fell (referring to me) the block was lifted on both of them. He kept saying that there was a relationship between us. That something was connecting us. So my pastor jumps up and says…… “They are all related---they are all family!” At that point I was no good.
After service my pastor told us to bring the entire family back that night because there are some strong generational curses that had to be broken in my family. I was all for it. Cause I don’t play with my life. And I ain’t got time to be held accountable for a relative’s issue that happened before I was born. Nope….wrong niece. I wasn’t planning to go to church that night cause I had to get up early for work the next morning, but I went. In between services my phone was ringing off the hook. Me and my cousin, the one in the hospital who I refer to as my sister, are the only two of the older cousins who are not married. We all grew up in the same household and so when the prophet said there was a link between her and me it made so much sense. My oldest sister who heard the entire prophecy said that the prophet said our marriages were blocked due to my aunt’s struggles. How…..I have no clue. Why me…….I have no clue. What I do know is that when satan gets a leak in……he is cunning and will try to take the strongest ones out. Me and my cousin are the two strongest ones out of 17 grandchildren. Ain’t a whole lot to that.
When I got to church that evening it was packed out. Everybody and their momma were visiting. And understandably so cause after the prophet called out this visiting dude’s license plates on Friday night and told him that the devil was trying to wipe out his life in a car accident that was to happen on Thursday at 3:00p many believers came to know that the Spiritual realm is real. The prophet described both cars and told dude which one was just in an accident and which was going to be involved in the next accident. Dude’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree. At one point he looked like….. “why did I agree to visit this crazy church” and on the other “tell me more.” The whole church was almost in tears, but we prayed over dude like we never prayed before. Before prophesying, the prophet preached a message on Ungodly Kingdoms, their purpose, and how to destroy them. I was all ears.
After service, my pastor met with my family and basically told us that we needed to go into heavy prayer and fasting because there are some strong ungodly kingdoms built in my family that is preventing us from living the life in which God purposed. I understood immediately for God can do anything, but He will not go against our will. Sooooo……I realize that some things only come through prayer and fasting. And that we had to surrender our will for God to have His way to fight on our behalf. Many ministries in my family have been blocked, there are untimely deaths, generational illnesses, and poverty. These are all results of ungodly kingdoms that have been set up in our lives. Either in front of our faces or behind our backs. All are set up in the spiritual realm, and orchestrated by satanic forces.
Over the course of blogging, I’ve spoken openly about my church journey over the years many times. After leaving the Pentecostal church I grew up in back in the early nineties I started frequenting a very well-known “word” church in the DC metro area. Though I’ve never been caught up in the prosperity movement (I just personally think that its a thin line between God's blessings and man's greedy motives in which gets out of Biblical truth) I was really feeling the “word” church movement because in the mid nineties I had come into this “intellectual Jill” that I really liked—lol. I was grasping knowledge back and forth, and growing into a person that I admired. However, though I was growing into Jill, I was spiritually mal-nourished. I mean, I have church notebooks filled with….. “the 10 steps to being a godly Christian in the workplace” or “the 5 steps to having a good godly attitude” or “the steps on living a prosperous life”, but I wasn’t being fed meat!!! I mean c’mon now…..all those messages could have been knocked out with one supreme message……. “What is the Holy Spirit and how to walk in obedience to the Word of God!!!” That’s it.
Just the last few years or so I have become burnt out with the mega-word church movement only because they’ve built me up so much that I’m no good for NOBODY. In fact, it’s all a freakin front because when I would get home I’d be depressed and unhappy. It wasn’t until real recent that I learned it is in our weakness that Christ becomes strong. And in our weakened, brokenness that God can began to use us. And so that’s what I’ve been grasping lately. Just being humbled before God so that He can have His perfect will in me. Me being that strong, black, professional woman is breaking down day by the day. Cause I’m learning that my profession and education can’t get me to where I need to be in God. In fact, my little gifts and talents that I lend to the church can only get me so far. If there is no anointing or if my “know-it-all” attitude can’t humble myself enough to hear from God, I will screw up a ministry. I see it happen all the time. So I understand that although I am an educated, professional in the world, my call to ministry could very well be to dust the pews and vaccum the sanctuary. I’m learning to be obedient to God’s perfect will.
Ok, so just as my pastor instructed...I have been doing a dry fast around the clock for the last few days. And so last night, since I’m not eating or doing any television or internet or anything secular, I felt like I needed to be in the presence of believers. My church was having service (the prophet is ministering at my church all week) but by the time I got home it was way too late for me to take the forty-five minute drive to Virginia. But something clicked and reminded me that my old church, which is a 3-minute ride from my house, was having Bible Study. So without any further thought I went.
Can I just say that I love my former pastor? Thanks. I love my former pastor!! He gets it. Unfortunately, the congregation doesn’t. Right before he went into his lesson on Moving Forward he’d asked that we continue singing a worship song but this time he wanted us to cry out to God with all that we had in us. Ok, it had to be approximately…….ummmm 1,500 people in the sanctuary. Probably more. But as soon as he gave the cue it seemed like he and I were the only ones crying out. I couldn’t believe it. It just took me back to a thought I use to have when visiting other ministries.
I mean, it’s sad when the congregation can’t grasp the fullness of God leaving the pastor out there alone to give up praise. My (current) pastor always tells us that praise and worship is like leaning on God’s doorbell. But what happens when He answers and opens the door? And that’s how I felt last night. Like a group of us had leaned on God’s doorbell and when He answered the only ones who had something to say were me and my (former) pastor. It was then that I really realized that a great portion of the body of Christ is not walking in the fullness of God. They’re missing out.
Over the years, I’ve heard comments about the Charismatic and/or Pentecostal church and how they are “spooky spiritual” or “radical” or just plain old LOUD. But I have to bear witness that the world we are living in is dangerous. And sometimes to get your message across you have to take any means necessary. If I can scream for my favorite singer on television, I can scream even louder for Christ. We are living in the midst of a spiritual war and there are demonic forces that are bounding God’s people. It’s time to move forward past these “get money, self-help, motivational speaking” type of messages. We need some folk who are going to fall on their knees and pray with everything they have in them. I mean, REALLY PRAY!!!
Just hearing the revelation that me being married is blocked by a demonic force that was put on my family years ago is disheartening. The devil knows that me and my husband together will cause his kingdom to tremble. That punk knew what he was doing. But guess what…..he done met his match now. Cause for the last few days I prayed, binded, destroyed, rebuked and cast down every satanic block that he not only put on me, but on my family as well. When dealing with warfare a pen and a little piece of 5x7 paper ain’t gonna do it. You gotta be completely armored by the Word of God. And not just writing it down and reciting it......BUT LIVING IT!!!
Today, after fasting and praying and loosing strong holds…..I walk in victory. I feel freer than I ever have. And if another person tells me that I look so radiant with a glow I’ma scream up to heaven and tell the Lord to turn down the light a little---lol. God is doing a great work in my family and I’m just taking it all in. Really, I am. But now that the block is gone I wonder how [my friend] will proceed. I haven’t told him yet what happened ;-).
Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. –Ephesians 6:11-13
Ok, so last Friday night was all night prayer at my church. Actually, we do more than just pray. It’s actually more like a prayer service but with praise and worship, the prophetic, and of course the spoken word. But the night is centered on prayer in which we start the first two hours in intercession and throughout the night praying for specifics collectively as the Holy Spirit leads.
Our all night prayer services, called War Cry, are every last Friday of the month. And since it began a couple months ago it has grown like wild fire. My church is rather small in congregation since it was only established about 18 months ago---maybe about 400 members. But because of the powerful prayer we do a lot of visitors are drawn to the church. And when the prophet is visiting from Africa many come out to hear his accurate revelations. The visiting prophet called one lady out to prophesy to her nine year old daughter. But before he did he asked the lady where she attended church and she told him [a well-known ministry in the area], but she said frankly that she comes to [my] church to get fed. Well, she got a full course meal on Friday cause after the prophet spoke specifics about her daughter, and husband who wasn’t there, the lady was speechless. I saw her for service on Sunday morning and Sunday evening.
Then……yours truly got called out--lol. Ok, let me say this right now before I go any further. I believe HEAVILY in the prophetic as well as laying hands to heal and deliver. I was brought up in the Pentecostal church so none of this is surprising to me. Back in the eighties, I actually witnessed my mother being drunk one night (many, many nights), went to church at the urging of a friend on the next night, and got instantly delivered from alcohol and cigarettes. Our household went from one extreme to the next in ONE WEEK!!!! And as soon as the Lord delivered my mother and stepfather the favor of God started flowing. We went from a low-income apartment complex to a well-known, admired, middle-class community in about a year and a half. Change happened quickly for my family. So I know first hand the power of God, and how He works through deliverance.
Ok, so I got called out on Friday night. It had to be about 2:30 in the morning. And I think I was walking in circles praying diligently and trying not to fall asleep---lol. My girlfriend, “E” was sitting next to me. She’s been visiting my church since January and says she always gets a breakthrough when she visits. And so the prophet came and laid his hands on "E", but then he had the deacons pull me out to the altar. Ok, in case you don’t know……I’m shy!! LOL. Ok, wait…….I have a very bold personality, but I know when to be assertive and when to be humble. I’m very assertive in the workplace and other places where needed. But when I get into the House of the Lord, I immediately humble myself. I’m like a sheep in church. I cry at any little thing and I am in a zone. A Holy Ghost zone---lol. I go to church to give up praise and worship to God and leave receiving whatever He has for me. I take my worship time in church VERY seriously. Church is a “no drama” zone for me. If there is an issue we can take it up in the parking lot. But in the House of God……..uhhhhh not---lol.
So the prophet calls me to the front and he looks at my stomach. I started to feel uncomfortable because I’ve been slacking on my crunches. I hate stomach exercises. Anyway……he kept staring at my stomach. And so he asks me where my children were. And I said that I didn’t have any children. And so he asked me why. I wanted to say…… “you tell me Mr. Prophet!” but I humbly said that I didn’t know. Then he asked why I wasn’t married. Again, I shrugged my shoulders. Cause I didn't know why I’m not married. I don’t know why [my friend] don’t know how to go past third base with me, and bring it on home---lol. Then he kept staring at me and the more he stared it was getting harder for me to hold back my tears. And then the tears started falling. Before he could lay his oily hands on my forehead I dropped to the floor.
On Saturday I was just out of it all day---physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was so exhausted. Cause the prophet (the one at my church and the ones I’ve seen in the past) usually comes with a word confirming what the receiver already knows. But his prophecy to me was as if he was telling me that I had the answers already, and that he didn’t need to tell me nothing cause I already knew. Well, he was kinda right. I mean, I did/do know that the little he told me was confirmed in my spirit. But I wanted him to delve deeply in it. I know/knew that my marriage is blocked. I just didn’t know how or why. You know we always blame this sort of issue on "another woman" not knowing the real force behind the block.
So Sunday I went to morning service. I started not to go cause I was still very much exhausted from all-night prayer and I wasn’t up for the 45 minute drive to church. But something in my spirit got me up just in time and said….. “GO!” The prophet was actually speaking on Sunday morning and so I did want to hear his message. When I got to church I glimpsed at the other side and saw that my mother and two aunts were visiting and sitting with my oldest sister. Service was awesome and right before it ended the prophet called one of my aunts out. Now let me remind you that I was sitting on the other side of the church. Dude had no idea that I was related to anybody over on that other side. He doesn't know us.
So the prophet calls my aunt out and tells her that her struggles are over. She, of course, starts crying. He then tells her that there was a curse put on her years ago that was supposed to take her out but instead of attacking her the curse went to her daughters. He told her that’s why her oldest daughter was lying in the hospital right now. So true. My cousin/sister has been battling this mysterious illness that has caused her to not walk. Doctors can’t figure it out. So all of a sudden, I quickened and got up to run out the church, but it was as if the Holy Spirit had grabbed me not to leave and I fell to the floor before I could even get out the row. As I lay there zoned, I heard the prophet tell my aunt that her daughter that is in the hospital marriage was blocked and that the girl over there (referring to me) marriage was blocked also, but when she fell (referring to me) the block was lifted on both of them. He kept saying that there was a relationship between us. That something was connecting us. So my pastor jumps up and says…… “They are all related---they are all family!” At that point I was no good.
After service my pastor told us to bring the entire family back that night because there are some strong generational curses that had to be broken in my family. I was all for it. Cause I don’t play with my life. And I ain’t got time to be held accountable for a relative’s issue that happened before I was born. Nope….wrong niece. I wasn’t planning to go to church that night cause I had to get up early for work the next morning, but I went. In between services my phone was ringing off the hook. Me and my cousin, the one in the hospital who I refer to as my sister, are the only two of the older cousins who are not married. We all grew up in the same household and so when the prophet said there was a link between her and me it made so much sense. My oldest sister who heard the entire prophecy said that the prophet said our marriages were blocked due to my aunt’s struggles. How…..I have no clue. Why me…….I have no clue. What I do know is that when satan gets a leak in……he is cunning and will try to take the strongest ones out. Me and my cousin are the two strongest ones out of 17 grandchildren. Ain’t a whole lot to that.
When I got to church that evening it was packed out. Everybody and their momma were visiting. And understandably so cause after the prophet called out this visiting dude’s license plates on Friday night and told him that the devil was trying to wipe out his life in a car accident that was to happen on Thursday at 3:00p many believers came to know that the Spiritual realm is real. The prophet described both cars and told dude which one was just in an accident and which was going to be involved in the next accident. Dude’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree. At one point he looked like….. “why did I agree to visit this crazy church” and on the other “tell me more.” The whole church was almost in tears, but we prayed over dude like we never prayed before. Before prophesying, the prophet preached a message on Ungodly Kingdoms, their purpose, and how to destroy them. I was all ears.
After service, my pastor met with my family and basically told us that we needed to go into heavy prayer and fasting because there are some strong ungodly kingdoms built in my family that is preventing us from living the life in which God purposed. I understood immediately for God can do anything, but He will not go against our will. Sooooo……I realize that some things only come through prayer and fasting. And that we had to surrender our will for God to have His way to fight on our behalf. Many ministries in my family have been blocked, there are untimely deaths, generational illnesses, and poverty. These are all results of ungodly kingdoms that have been set up in our lives. Either in front of our faces or behind our backs. All are set up in the spiritual realm, and orchestrated by satanic forces.
Over the course of blogging, I’ve spoken openly about my church journey over the years many times. After leaving the Pentecostal church I grew up in back in the early nineties I started frequenting a very well-known “word” church in the DC metro area. Though I’ve never been caught up in the prosperity movement (I just personally think that its a thin line between God's blessings and man's greedy motives in which gets out of Biblical truth) I was really feeling the “word” church movement because in the mid nineties I had come into this “intellectual Jill” that I really liked—lol. I was grasping knowledge back and forth, and growing into a person that I admired. However, though I was growing into Jill, I was spiritually mal-nourished. I mean, I have church notebooks filled with….. “the 10 steps to being a godly Christian in the workplace” or “the 5 steps to having a good godly attitude” or “the steps on living a prosperous life”, but I wasn’t being fed meat!!! I mean c’mon now…..all those messages could have been knocked out with one supreme message……. “What is the Holy Spirit and how to walk in obedience to the Word of God!!!” That’s it.
Just the last few years or so I have become burnt out with the mega-word church movement only because they’ve built me up so much that I’m no good for NOBODY. In fact, it’s all a freakin front because when I would get home I’d be depressed and unhappy. It wasn’t until real recent that I learned it is in our weakness that Christ becomes strong. And in our weakened, brokenness that God can began to use us. And so that’s what I’ve been grasping lately. Just being humbled before God so that He can have His perfect will in me. Me being that strong, black, professional woman is breaking down day by the day. Cause I’m learning that my profession and education can’t get me to where I need to be in God. In fact, my little gifts and talents that I lend to the church can only get me so far. If there is no anointing or if my “know-it-all” attitude can’t humble myself enough to hear from God, I will screw up a ministry. I see it happen all the time. So I understand that although I am an educated, professional in the world, my call to ministry could very well be to dust the pews and vaccum the sanctuary. I’m learning to be obedient to God’s perfect will.
Ok, so just as my pastor instructed...I have been doing a dry fast around the clock for the last few days. And so last night, since I’m not eating or doing any television or internet or anything secular, I felt like I needed to be in the presence of believers. My church was having service (the prophet is ministering at my church all week) but by the time I got home it was way too late for me to take the forty-five minute drive to Virginia. But something clicked and reminded me that my old church, which is a 3-minute ride from my house, was having Bible Study. So without any further thought I went.
Can I just say that I love my former pastor? Thanks. I love my former pastor!! He gets it. Unfortunately, the congregation doesn’t. Right before he went into his lesson on Moving Forward he’d asked that we continue singing a worship song but this time he wanted us to cry out to God with all that we had in us. Ok, it had to be approximately…….ummmm 1,500 people in the sanctuary. Probably more. But as soon as he gave the cue it seemed like he and I were the only ones crying out. I couldn’t believe it. It just took me back to a thought I use to have when visiting other ministries.
I mean, it’s sad when the congregation can’t grasp the fullness of God leaving the pastor out there alone to give up praise. My (current) pastor always tells us that praise and worship is like leaning on God’s doorbell. But what happens when He answers and opens the door? And that’s how I felt last night. Like a group of us had leaned on God’s doorbell and when He answered the only ones who had something to say were me and my (former) pastor. It was then that I really realized that a great portion of the body of Christ is not walking in the fullness of God. They’re missing out.
Over the years, I’ve heard comments about the Charismatic and/or Pentecostal church and how they are “spooky spiritual” or “radical” or just plain old LOUD. But I have to bear witness that the world we are living in is dangerous. And sometimes to get your message across you have to take any means necessary. If I can scream for my favorite singer on television, I can scream even louder for Christ. We are living in the midst of a spiritual war and there are demonic forces that are bounding God’s people. It’s time to move forward past these “get money, self-help, motivational speaking” type of messages. We need some folk who are going to fall on their knees and pray with everything they have in them. I mean, REALLY PRAY!!!
Just hearing the revelation that me being married is blocked by a demonic force that was put on my family years ago is disheartening. The devil knows that me and my husband together will cause his kingdom to tremble. That punk knew what he was doing. But guess what…..he done met his match now. Cause for the last few days I prayed, binded, destroyed, rebuked and cast down every satanic block that he not only put on me, but on my family as well. When dealing with warfare a pen and a little piece of 5x7 paper ain’t gonna do it. You gotta be completely armored by the Word of God. And not just writing it down and reciting it......BUT LIVING IT!!!
Today, after fasting and praying and loosing strong holds…..I walk in victory. I feel freer than I ever have. And if another person tells me that I look so radiant with a glow I’ma scream up to heaven and tell the Lord to turn down the light a little---lol. God is doing a great work in my family and I’m just taking it all in. Really, I am. But now that the block is gone I wonder how [my friend] will proceed. I haven’t told him yet what happened ;-).
Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. –Ephesians 6:11-13
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