Ok, I got a new millennium shock over the weekend. For some odd reason, my cell phone went dead. That wouldn’t be so bad if my cable wasn’t out. Yep, on last Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, I got home only to find that I had no television. When I went to turn on the T.V. in my room it was blank. Staring confused I then ran into the living room and that too was blank. I was pissed.
After running around the city on Thanksgiving Eve looking for a ham, yeah my mother sprung on the “just bring a ham” at the last minute, by the time I got home it was way too late to call Comcast. So I spent the evening reading the new Allure magazine and fell asleep mid-way through.
On Thanksgiving morning, after spending some time on the phone with “E”, I got dressed, packed up the ham, packed my clothes, and headed to Waldorf to spend Thanksgiving with my family.
On Friday, I had to work. But since my oldest sister is still in Ghana, I decided to take my 10 year-old niece to work with me. I had the day planned…….set her up in an empty cubicle, keep her busy so that I could finish my project that is due this week. At lunchtime I had a little surprise for my niece. Since we were downtown, I took her to the National Museum of African Art, then to the new pizza joint to get some lunch. The day was perfect. And we had fun. We even got caught in the rain and laughed and screamed as we got soaked.
On Friday, the day went swiftly. By the time we looked up it was well after 4:00 p.m. So we packed up and jumped on the train back to my mother’s. I had to make a mad dash in since I needed to freshen up for Friday evening service at church. By the time I got to church I was exhausted, but I was determined to stay the entire service. And I’m glad I did because my Pastor did a special “praying over the mantle” service.
But then I thought about something…….I had forgotten to call Comcast!!!
Saturday morning I got up to do my Saturday-thingy and while I was out and about I remembered that I needed to call Comcast. As I sat in my car I called for a service tech only to discover that the first available date for repair wouldn’t be until mid-week. My heart sank. No T.V. all weekend!!!! But what made matters worse is that Comcast holds the magic key to my home-entertainment. I got one of those stupid bundle packages. So when the cable is out, so are the internet and my home phone. So I was stuck. And frustrated. Cause I really wanted to stay home and chill. It had been a while since I’ve been home the entire weekend without an agenda, and I wanted to spend a great portion of my weekend catching up on some T.V. Or at least surf the net. But nope it couldn’t happen.
On Sunday after church, usually I’d rush home to take an afternoon nap, watch my favorite religious programming, and get up about 5pm-ish to get ready for the work week. But I had no television to go home to and it just seemed a little lonely and boring. So I decided to have brunch with my sisters-in-Christ at Busboys and Poets.
After we’d finished, as I was riding home, I decided to scan my missed emails on my cell and listen to missed messages. I also sent out a few text messages. When I got home I was soooo exhausted. So I took a quick shower, and then got in the bed. Then I heard my cell phone vibrating. As I went to answer it, it wouldn’t pick up. Then it died out. So I put it on the charger and even though it “came back to life”, it wouldn’t allow me to dial. I could not figure the darn thing out. Then the phone rang again and I could see that it was my mother calling me. And then the light indicated that she left a message. I panicked because my mother NEVER leaves messages. But I couldn’t answer it.
So I threw on some jeans and my jacket and I drove to the 7-11 to use the pay phone. Of course my mother didn’t want anything major, but I got frustrated. I mean, not that I wanted it to be major, but that I was inconvenienced. I explained to her what happened---that I was going crazy not having no way to communicate; especially in case of emergency. After I hung up with her, I made a few more calls at the pay phone and then went back in the house. All night my phone was buzzing like crazy. Some I could see who was calling and others I couldn’t. I was going ballistic.
This morning, my mother called me at work to check on me. After Sprint told me that I couldn’t get a replacement for another 2-3 days, and Comcast not being able to get out until Wednesday I sorta slowed my anger down; patience started kicking in. But my mother said something to me this morning that is still ringing in my ear. After I told her that I had NOTHING, she responded with……. “well you got Jesus!!”
I remember when rapper Lil Kim was going to jail she made a comment that I never forgot. She said that you never know that Jesus is all you need, until He is all you have. And that is sooooo true. My situation could have been another way, but He knows what He is doing.
See, most would look at this situation as God being mad or God not working for my good, but actually He is. See, I firmly believe that the Lord took all of my communication-entertainment vehicles away so that I could spend some intimate time with HIM. I’m sure He’s been missing me since I’ve been on my own agenda the last couple of weeks. Being without my phones, television, and internet allows me time to read my Word. And put in some quality prayer time. And that’s exactly what I plan to do this evening.
Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord. Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer. –Romans 12:11-12
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It Takes a Village
I got up this morning feeling ucky, sluggish. Probably had something to do with that burger I ate last night. I hate eating late and lying down on a full stomach. Anyway…..ain’t nothing a little prayer couldn’t cure. When I got in the shower I asked the Lord to take away the ill mood and by the time I put my clothes on I was skipping around the house. My joy is back!!
Ok, so as I was riding the Metro this morning coming into work I witnessed a rare incident. There was a Caucasian family (looked like mother, father, small child, grandparents, and aunt and uncle) riding the Metro downtown. Apparently, they must have been tourists because they were looking around in amazement and held their farecards in their hands as not to lose them. The little boy who looked to be four years old was excited. He was riding on the train and although the train was crowded he was still…….a little boy.
After a few minutes, an old man sat in the seat next to the little boy but the little boy kept fidgeting in his seat. I could tell that the old man’s patience was being tested. At one turn the little boy would hold on tight and make noise, and when the train sped up the little boy tried to stand up. The old man who obviously looked like he was considering immediate retirement, put his book away as he couldn’t concentrate. Without missing a scene, the little boy’s father looked across the aisle at his son and said, “park it!” The little boy’s face was disappointed, but he sat down and parked it. He was so still he looked like he didn't want to move his head to look at his mother. In fact, when it was time for them to get off the train, 12 stops later, the little boy’s mother had to wake him up.
I wanted to get up and hug and kiss that little boy’s father. I really did. Because he only needed to speak one time to get his child’s full attention. The little boy didn’t even gripe back. He was sooo obedient. He obviously knows his father--the commander-in-chief. And I was even more impressed that his mother didn’t rescue him. Usually moms console their children after the dad whips out the authority. But she supported her husband’s orders. And so did the grandparents, and aunt and uncle. And I was loving every minute of it.
Over this past weekend, I was having a conversation with one of my long time girlfriends. I’m the Godmother of her son, and also served as a bridesmaid in her wedding. As we were catching up, she told me something so profound. She said that you can tell the true character of a person by the way their children act. I thought long and hard about her statement and had to agree that children are the fruit of their parents. So all weekend I kept thinking about all of the people I know with children and then thought about them and their children and said to myself……WOW!!!
I have a confession to make. I have to admit that one of the things I looked at when I joined my church was my Pastor and First Lady's family dynamic. I remember seeing my Sr. Pastor’s (who is my First Lady's father) teenage son praying earnestly in the corner one Sunday and said to myself……this is the church I want to be at. And I mean, ALL of their children are living for God. And their personal relationship with God is quite evident.
As I thought about that little boy on the train this morning it came to me that it truly takes a village to raise a child. My oldest sister is in Africa for a couple of weeks and so my 10 year old niece is left in the care of the entire family. Several of us have our scheduled days to stay at my sister’s so that my niece will not miss school.
Over the weekend, I was on duty. And so I had to take my niece with me to my church meeting on Saturday. After the meeting a few people complimented my niece’s mannerism and behavior. And although I wanted to take the credit, because I gave her precise instructions to sit on the sofa and read her book, it is my sister and brother-in-law who have instilled great values in her. And we, the family, support them. My sister makes it clear that her household is not a democracy, but a dictatorship. My niece doesn’t make decisions and neither does my sister try to be my niece’s friend. She’s the mother and what she says goes. And because it’s an understanding that was established in the womb, my niece knows no other way.
This Thanksgiving I am truly thanking God for my family raising great offspring. I have wonderful nieces and nephews in whom we have all raised. Any of them know that they can call me if they need some motivation/and or straight talk, or they can call my other sister if they need some educational advice (she's a teacher), or they can call my aunt in New York if they need spiritual guidance (she's a Pastor's wife), or they can call my mother if they need money, or they can call whoever to get whatever.
There’s no “I’m a single parent” excuse that is tolerated in my family. My mother was going through a divorce when I was born and so my grandparents and great-grandparents stepped in. My sisters were also single parents, but they survived because we all did our part. I’m proud that we have made a silent pact that we would get all of the kids to college. So far, so good. There have been bumps along the way, but we’re not giving up on our children. They're all mannerable and respectful, and walk a tightrope. Cause we ain’t having it no other way.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. –Proverbs 22:6
Ok, so as I was riding the Metro this morning coming into work I witnessed a rare incident. There was a Caucasian family (looked like mother, father, small child, grandparents, and aunt and uncle) riding the Metro downtown. Apparently, they must have been tourists because they were looking around in amazement and held their farecards in their hands as not to lose them. The little boy who looked to be four years old was excited. He was riding on the train and although the train was crowded he was still…….a little boy.
After a few minutes, an old man sat in the seat next to the little boy but the little boy kept fidgeting in his seat. I could tell that the old man’s patience was being tested. At one turn the little boy would hold on tight and make noise, and when the train sped up the little boy tried to stand up. The old man who obviously looked like he was considering immediate retirement, put his book away as he couldn’t concentrate. Without missing a scene, the little boy’s father looked across the aisle at his son and said, “park it!” The little boy’s face was disappointed, but he sat down and parked it. He was so still he looked like he didn't want to move his head to look at his mother. In fact, when it was time for them to get off the train, 12 stops later, the little boy’s mother had to wake him up.
I wanted to get up and hug and kiss that little boy’s father. I really did. Because he only needed to speak one time to get his child’s full attention. The little boy didn’t even gripe back. He was sooo obedient. He obviously knows his father--the commander-in-chief. And I was even more impressed that his mother didn’t rescue him. Usually moms console their children after the dad whips out the authority. But she supported her husband’s orders. And so did the grandparents, and aunt and uncle. And I was loving every minute of it.
Over this past weekend, I was having a conversation with one of my long time girlfriends. I’m the Godmother of her son, and also served as a bridesmaid in her wedding. As we were catching up, she told me something so profound. She said that you can tell the true character of a person by the way their children act. I thought long and hard about her statement and had to agree that children are the fruit of their parents. So all weekend I kept thinking about all of the people I know with children and then thought about them and their children and said to myself……WOW!!!
I have a confession to make. I have to admit that one of the things I looked at when I joined my church was my Pastor and First Lady's family dynamic. I remember seeing my Sr. Pastor’s (who is my First Lady's father) teenage son praying earnestly in the corner one Sunday and said to myself……this is the church I want to be at. And I mean, ALL of their children are living for God. And their personal relationship with God is quite evident.
As I thought about that little boy on the train this morning it came to me that it truly takes a village to raise a child. My oldest sister is in Africa for a couple of weeks and so my 10 year old niece is left in the care of the entire family. Several of us have our scheduled days to stay at my sister’s so that my niece will not miss school.
Over the weekend, I was on duty. And so I had to take my niece with me to my church meeting on Saturday. After the meeting a few people complimented my niece’s mannerism and behavior. And although I wanted to take the credit, because I gave her precise instructions to sit on the sofa and read her book, it is my sister and brother-in-law who have instilled great values in her. And we, the family, support them. My sister makes it clear that her household is not a democracy, but a dictatorship. My niece doesn’t make decisions and neither does my sister try to be my niece’s friend. She’s the mother and what she says goes. And because it’s an understanding that was established in the womb, my niece knows no other way.
This Thanksgiving I am truly thanking God for my family raising great offspring. I have wonderful nieces and nephews in whom we have all raised. Any of them know that they can call me if they need some motivation/and or straight talk, or they can call my other sister if they need some educational advice (she's a teacher), or they can call my aunt in New York if they need spiritual guidance (she's a Pastor's wife), or they can call my mother if they need money, or they can call whoever to get whatever.
There’s no “I’m a single parent” excuse that is tolerated in my family. My mother was going through a divorce when I was born and so my grandparents and great-grandparents stepped in. My sisters were also single parents, but they survived because we all did our part. I’m proud that we have made a silent pact that we would get all of the kids to college. So far, so good. There have been bumps along the way, but we’re not giving up on our children. They're all mannerable and respectful, and walk a tightrope. Cause we ain’t having it no other way.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. –Proverbs 22:6
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Is It Worth It??????
Sometimes I sit back and wonder what’s the difference between the saved and the unsaved---other than eternal life? I mean, some of us saved folk are praying for countless things that the unsaved seem to get effortlessly. I mean, I don’t ask for big stuff just that my bills are paid, a good man to laugh/live with, a happy/healthy family, and a few splurges every now and again. With that…..I’m good. But the unsaved seems to have that too---and much more.
You know what…..as I’m typing, the word SEEMS is jumping out. I know this is jumping a little to the left, but is it just me or do y’all freak out when couples who seem to have the best relationships make the “we’re splitting” announcement? I’m always like…… “but y’all seemed so happy.” But it’s the behind the scenes that I guess we overlook. I guess we, or I, base blessings off of what SEEMS to be right. But I know that’s a fallacy. Cause I refuse to believe that living for Christ is more of a disadvantage here on earth than an advantage.
But sometimes…….sometimes the human side will be boastful and step up with the “now what” attitude. I mean, I do know couples who are keeping their marriage/relationships in tact and ain’t living for God. Well, they claim to be but they bear no fruit. And I do know folk with successful careers and are able to vacation all around the world at moment’s notice. And I do know folk who laugh hysterically and every night is a celebration or night on the town. And again, they ain’t living for God.
So I ask again……what is the difference between the saved and the unsaved here on earth?
I’ve been working on a real estate deal for the last five months. I have a $600,000 house on the market that has been marked down to an affordable $399,000. And the house will not sell. I’ve been showing it every weekend since June, and trying to do follow-up calls with agents. I’ve completed all the paperwork, spoke and pleaded with the bank (oh, did I mention…..it’s a short-sale), and have been a strong shoulder for my clients to cry on because uhhh, time is running out and their credit is in serious jeopardy. Not to mention their dream is slowly pouring down the drain.
According to my calculations, I could walk away with a nice $12,000 commission if indeed the house sells, which brings me to my current financial situation……not real good these days. I mean, I still live comfortable----a cute, cozy condo in a nice zip code. And I still am able to drive my dream car. And I still eat whatever the heck I want for dinner. But I have little room to do extras. I mean, I can’t just on a whim say…….. “I’m hopping a flight to the Bahamas this weekend with my girls.” No, no, no. Its been a while since I had that flexibility in my finances. Nor can I afford to plan a nice holiday dinner party for family and close friends. Shucks, in fact…….I think gift giving will be deferred again this year. I just don’t have it like that these days.
December is a funny month. Its like……. “let’s make all the unplanned bills due for Jill in December and give her a short deadline so that we can mess up her mood for the holidays.” Ok, did I mention that this time of year is my FAVORITE!!! Well, it is. So just like clock work……I got hit with some wild, unplanned bills.
A couple of days ago, I got hit with a personal property tax bill for several hundred bucks that is due by December 3rd. The funny thing is I don’t ever remember paying for additional taxes outside of my property taxes in which my mortgage company pays directly. Then, I was sent a doctor bill for a minor procedure I had done back in July that I thought my insurance had paid. That was another couple hundred dollars.
In the beginning of the year when I had a few extra bucks I did something unusual and eliminated all of my monthly fixed bills for the year. I got real comfortable not paying those extra monthly bills, but got a wake-up call when State Farm Insurance sent me a $1,000 bill to renew my insurance that is due…….in December.
If bills piling on bills ain’t enough……everybody and their momma seem to have me on their celebration invitation list. From baby showers to farewell celebrations to birthday bashes to housewarmings to homegoings……..I’m invited. And though I love celebrating with folk….especially with down home good folk, I always feel obligated to not attend empty handed. Those too are unplanned and unexpected expenses that could drive a sistah crazy.
Ok, so yesterday I got an offer on my listing. Yaay! Yep, a real good offer. And it accompanies some good buyers with a good buyer’s agent. I like working with competent folk in this real estate business. It’s just less drama. Those type of agents, me priding myself for being one, know that it could be a win/win/win/win situation across the board if we play the cards right. All was in place. But then I got hit. With another bill. And this one was serious.
Somehow in all of my personal/business financial mess……I overlooked paying my Realtor Association dues which was due in September. Just as an FYI, not that you care, but if one doesn’t pay their dues/fines……uh your license will be revoked immediately. So I get a call from my broker saying that if I don’t pay $600 bucks by December 15th then…….my license will be revoked. In a perfect world that would be a-ok because……I got an offer that could put several thousand dollars in my pocket making it a drop in the bucket to pay my dues. But since I ain’t living in a perfect world this doesn’t apply. See, the offer is scheduled to close on January 15, 2010. That’s one month later than I need it to be.
So I called my broker back and inquired about this pending deal that is due to close a month after my license is to be revoked if I don’t pay the dues. And he simply replied, “Jill it is against the law to pay a commission to a non-realtor.” My heart sank. But then it sank even more because he said that my deal will be handed over to another agent in the office…..in which he/she would get the commission. (Deep breath) that’s my six months of work down the drain. Again, that’s $12,000 I would lose out on.
So I ask again……what is the difference between the saved and the unsaved here on earth?
I’ll tell you what the difference is………it’s the peace of God. Can I say that I ain’t worried!!!! I’ve said this time and time again that living for Christ has many, many benefits and rewards that at certain times it doesn’t feel like it. But if for no other reward or benefit, the peace of God is worth living for Christ. I mean, I got bills that can make or break me that are due in the next 30 days, but I’m at peace. In addition to that, its some other serious issues that I’m going through personally that just hit in the last few weeks that have changed my life. But I’m good. As a matter of fact, my Facebook status this morning read, “Feeling real good this morning.” I love the peace of God.
[pause]
Ok, let me tell you how God works!!!! I was about to end the last paragraph and insert one of my favorite scriptures to close this entry but I got a phone call from my broker. Why dude just tell me not to worry about getting the money to pay my dues because he’ll close my deal for me and “gift” me the commission. Tell me God ain’t good!!!!!!! That’s why I live for Him. I can’t think of no other way to live!!!!
May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. –Hebrews 13:20-21
You know what…..as I’m typing, the word SEEMS is jumping out. I know this is jumping a little to the left, but is it just me or do y’all freak out when couples who seem to have the best relationships make the “we’re splitting” announcement? I’m always like…… “but y’all seemed so happy.” But it’s the behind the scenes that I guess we overlook. I guess we, or I, base blessings off of what SEEMS to be right. But I know that’s a fallacy. Cause I refuse to believe that living for Christ is more of a disadvantage here on earth than an advantage.
But sometimes…….sometimes the human side will be boastful and step up with the “now what” attitude. I mean, I do know couples who are keeping their marriage/relationships in tact and ain’t living for God. Well, they claim to be but they bear no fruit. And I do know folk with successful careers and are able to vacation all around the world at moment’s notice. And I do know folk who laugh hysterically and every night is a celebration or night on the town. And again, they ain’t living for God.
So I ask again……what is the difference between the saved and the unsaved here on earth?
I’ve been working on a real estate deal for the last five months. I have a $600,000 house on the market that has been marked down to an affordable $399,000. And the house will not sell. I’ve been showing it every weekend since June, and trying to do follow-up calls with agents. I’ve completed all the paperwork, spoke and pleaded with the bank (oh, did I mention…..it’s a short-sale), and have been a strong shoulder for my clients to cry on because uhhh, time is running out and their credit is in serious jeopardy. Not to mention their dream is slowly pouring down the drain.
According to my calculations, I could walk away with a nice $12,000 commission if indeed the house sells, which brings me to my current financial situation……not real good these days. I mean, I still live comfortable----a cute, cozy condo in a nice zip code. And I still am able to drive my dream car. And I still eat whatever the heck I want for dinner. But I have little room to do extras. I mean, I can’t just on a whim say…….. “I’m hopping a flight to the Bahamas this weekend with my girls.” No, no, no. Its been a while since I had that flexibility in my finances. Nor can I afford to plan a nice holiday dinner party for family and close friends. Shucks, in fact…….I think gift giving will be deferred again this year. I just don’t have it like that these days.
December is a funny month. Its like……. “let’s make all the unplanned bills due for Jill in December and give her a short deadline so that we can mess up her mood for the holidays.” Ok, did I mention that this time of year is my FAVORITE!!! Well, it is. So just like clock work……I got hit with some wild, unplanned bills.
A couple of days ago, I got hit with a personal property tax bill for several hundred bucks that is due by December 3rd. The funny thing is I don’t ever remember paying for additional taxes outside of my property taxes in which my mortgage company pays directly. Then, I was sent a doctor bill for a minor procedure I had done back in July that I thought my insurance had paid. That was another couple hundred dollars.
In the beginning of the year when I had a few extra bucks I did something unusual and eliminated all of my monthly fixed bills for the year. I got real comfortable not paying those extra monthly bills, but got a wake-up call when State Farm Insurance sent me a $1,000 bill to renew my insurance that is due…….in December.
If bills piling on bills ain’t enough……everybody and their momma seem to have me on their celebration invitation list. From baby showers to farewell celebrations to birthday bashes to housewarmings to homegoings……..I’m invited. And though I love celebrating with folk….especially with down home good folk, I always feel obligated to not attend empty handed. Those too are unplanned and unexpected expenses that could drive a sistah crazy.
Ok, so yesterday I got an offer on my listing. Yaay! Yep, a real good offer. And it accompanies some good buyers with a good buyer’s agent. I like working with competent folk in this real estate business. It’s just less drama. Those type of agents, me priding myself for being one, know that it could be a win/win/win/win situation across the board if we play the cards right. All was in place. But then I got hit. With another bill. And this one was serious.
Somehow in all of my personal/business financial mess……I overlooked paying my Realtor Association dues which was due in September. Just as an FYI, not that you care, but if one doesn’t pay their dues/fines……uh your license will be revoked immediately. So I get a call from my broker saying that if I don’t pay $600 bucks by December 15th then…….my license will be revoked. In a perfect world that would be a-ok because……I got an offer that could put several thousand dollars in my pocket making it a drop in the bucket to pay my dues. But since I ain’t living in a perfect world this doesn’t apply. See, the offer is scheduled to close on January 15, 2010. That’s one month later than I need it to be.
So I called my broker back and inquired about this pending deal that is due to close a month after my license is to be revoked if I don’t pay the dues. And he simply replied, “Jill it is against the law to pay a commission to a non-realtor.” My heart sank. But then it sank even more because he said that my deal will be handed over to another agent in the office…..in which he/she would get the commission. (Deep breath) that’s my six months of work down the drain. Again, that’s $12,000 I would lose out on.
So I ask again……what is the difference between the saved and the unsaved here on earth?
I’ll tell you what the difference is………it’s the peace of God. Can I say that I ain’t worried!!!! I’ve said this time and time again that living for Christ has many, many benefits and rewards that at certain times it doesn’t feel like it. But if for no other reward or benefit, the peace of God is worth living for Christ. I mean, I got bills that can make or break me that are due in the next 30 days, but I’m at peace. In addition to that, its some other serious issues that I’m going through personally that just hit in the last few weeks that have changed my life. But I’m good. As a matter of fact, my Facebook status this morning read, “Feeling real good this morning.” I love the peace of God.
[pause]
Ok, let me tell you how God works!!!! I was about to end the last paragraph and insert one of my favorite scriptures to close this entry but I got a phone call from my broker. Why dude just tell me not to worry about getting the money to pay my dues because he’ll close my deal for me and “gift” me the commission. Tell me God ain’t good!!!!!!! That’s why I live for Him. I can’t think of no other way to live!!!!
May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. –Hebrews 13:20-21
Friday, November 13, 2009
Say What?!?!?
(Deep breath). Did I mention that a prophet from Africa was in town and running a revival at my church? Did I mention that the prophet is so deep that he calls out names, addresses, telephone numbers, license plates, and more??? Well, the prophet was here and he went through our church and cleaned house!!!! My pastor told us that by the time the prophet left we would never be the same. And its soooo true. Within one week my life has changed.
I think that I mentioned a dream I had back in 2004 in one of my entries. Actually, I’m sure I did. Probably in an entry last year. But just to recap the dream……I dreamt that I was about to marry this guy and we were standing at the altar just he and I, and his mom. His mom loooooved me. She really wanted us to work. But when I looked at the guy he was actually a little boy. In fact, in the dream I could see that his tux was too big for him.
Anyway…..so in the dream me and the “little boy” were standing at the altar and apparently there were some doubts because in reality I ain’t marrying nobody if my loved ones can’t be there; especially if his loved one---his mother---was there. But apparently there were some doubts or issues in the dream because the church was empty. Over the years as I tried to make some sense of the dream, the mother was apparently trying to counsel us---perhaps trying to mend an issue before the wedding. I don’t know. All I know is that I ran out of the church and into the rain. As I was running through the rain, I was also running in mud. But my wedding dress would not get muddy. My white dress stayed clean.
Then in that same dream……the scene switched. This time I was in a luxury car; in fact it was a champaign-colored Rolls Royce. And I was riding in it with my husband. Apparently, he and I had just gotten married and was riding from the church to the reception. I was soooo happy. I was in love with this man. But when I looked at him he was an older man. Almost like he was old enough to be my father. And although I was extremely happy with him, I was sad. It was such a mixed emotion that I couldn’t understand.
In reality, over the years, me and my girlfriends tried to analyze the dream. It is quite obvious that the guy I was going to marry at first symbolized “childishness” and the guy that I ended up with symbolizes “maturity”. But what I couldn’t understand was the mixed emotion part. I couldn’t understand that if I was so happy, what was making me so sad.
Anybody who knows me knows that I am very, very careful in making decisions. I’m very much into being true to myself and not jumping into situations just to go with the flow or because its “the right thing to do.” I’m not one to ignore the warning signs and I will halt a “good thing” if it doesn’t feel right to me. The only thing that trumps my personal feelings about an issue or situation is if I know that I know I am hearing from God. In saying that…….it is very understandable why I left the childish guy at the altar in the dream.
Before I go any further, let me just say that the first part of the dream actually unfolded and revealed itself to me over the last two years---lol. Yes, yes……the guy, the mother and her love for us, the halt in the relationship, and me running out has all come to reality in the last two years. And I now feel like I am in the part of the dream where I’m running through the rain in the mud, but am not getting dirty.
Ok, so the prophet came to my church last week. I’d like to think that I’m pretty in tuned to myself--lol. I’m a very introspective type of individual. If there is an issue I look within me first before I attack outside. Ok, at least I try to---lol. Solving the problem in me is my heart’s desire. If there is an issue I seek God for direction cause normally if I can admit my fault and take ownership of any wrong I did it usually smoothes things over. I’m learning that I have no control over the other. But if I come correct with God I know that at least my side is clear. So if the prophet was to tell me anything about me I know it has to be confirmation to what I already know. Cause not a lot get pass me---lol.
Please bear with me. I’m jumping from subject to subject but I promise you it will all come together at the end.
Anyway……so a few weeks ago me and one of my best girlfriends had a disagreement. It’s nothing unusual for us to disagree on an issue, but this disagreement was deep. Not the subject of the disagreement, but the actions and motives behind the disagreement. It was really, really weird. It almost felt like a dark force was orchestrating it. It felt beyond my control. To me it just didn’t make sense. So I prayed about it and asked God for direction. He gave it to me and I proceeded how I was instructed. But it kinda made it worse. Usually when issues like this occur I take my hands off and withdraw. Because I know it’s an issue working in the spiritual realm.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. --Ephesians 6:12
For the past few weeks I have been totally silent. I took my hands off and I sat still. I didn’t call, nor did I make any contact with my girlfriend. I withdrew and was actually at peace with it. Another girlfriend who is friends with the both of us actually called me and we discussed the issue somewhat. The physical side of me needed to vent. It was harmless for I know that the girlfriend I vented to is a confidant and she’s not going to take sides. In fact, she’ll give it to me straight. Strange thing is that she too was speechless and had nothing to say.
So then Sunday came. Sunday, Sunday. Sunday was supposed to be the last day that the prophet was to be at my church. I wasn’t expecting a prophecy although everybody and their momma was getting one. I was content and happy to hear everybody else’s prophecies----especially the ones he gave to my sister.
Anyway, so I was sitting in the back of the church and the prophet instructed the congregation to walk up to the altar and place our car keys in his hand, but take them back immediately. Now….out of ALLLLLL the people in the church, two of us car keys fell to the floor---me and another lady’s. So the prophet called the lady back up and he prophesied over her. And then he called me up. What he told me broke my heart. Let me just say that I am not led to tell the prophecy on this public medium, but I will say that the sadness I felt in my dream as I was celebrating my marriage with my husband was the same sadness I felt when the prophet revealed to me about a certain person I held dear in my life. The reason why I was sad in the dream was because the person I thought would be happy to share in my happiness and joy is not at all happy for me.
My prayer is always that the Lord will not only open doors, but that He would CLOSE doors too. Sometimes we must allow doors to close in order to get to where God wants to take us.
.........And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. –2 Peter 1:18-21
I think that I mentioned a dream I had back in 2004 in one of my entries. Actually, I’m sure I did. Probably in an entry last year. But just to recap the dream……I dreamt that I was about to marry this guy and we were standing at the altar just he and I, and his mom. His mom loooooved me. She really wanted us to work. But when I looked at the guy he was actually a little boy. In fact, in the dream I could see that his tux was too big for him.
Anyway…..so in the dream me and the “little boy” were standing at the altar and apparently there were some doubts because in reality I ain’t marrying nobody if my loved ones can’t be there; especially if his loved one---his mother---was there. But apparently there were some doubts or issues in the dream because the church was empty. Over the years as I tried to make some sense of the dream, the mother was apparently trying to counsel us---perhaps trying to mend an issue before the wedding. I don’t know. All I know is that I ran out of the church and into the rain. As I was running through the rain, I was also running in mud. But my wedding dress would not get muddy. My white dress stayed clean.
Then in that same dream……the scene switched. This time I was in a luxury car; in fact it was a champaign-colored Rolls Royce. And I was riding in it with my husband. Apparently, he and I had just gotten married and was riding from the church to the reception. I was soooo happy. I was in love with this man. But when I looked at him he was an older man. Almost like he was old enough to be my father. And although I was extremely happy with him, I was sad. It was such a mixed emotion that I couldn’t understand.
In reality, over the years, me and my girlfriends tried to analyze the dream. It is quite obvious that the guy I was going to marry at first symbolized “childishness” and the guy that I ended up with symbolizes “maturity”. But what I couldn’t understand was the mixed emotion part. I couldn’t understand that if I was so happy, what was making me so sad.
Anybody who knows me knows that I am very, very careful in making decisions. I’m very much into being true to myself and not jumping into situations just to go with the flow or because its “the right thing to do.” I’m not one to ignore the warning signs and I will halt a “good thing” if it doesn’t feel right to me. The only thing that trumps my personal feelings about an issue or situation is if I know that I know I am hearing from God. In saying that…….it is very understandable why I left the childish guy at the altar in the dream.
Before I go any further, let me just say that the first part of the dream actually unfolded and revealed itself to me over the last two years---lol. Yes, yes……the guy, the mother and her love for us, the halt in the relationship, and me running out has all come to reality in the last two years. And I now feel like I am in the part of the dream where I’m running through the rain in the mud, but am not getting dirty.
Ok, so the prophet came to my church last week. I’d like to think that I’m pretty in tuned to myself--lol. I’m a very introspective type of individual. If there is an issue I look within me first before I attack outside. Ok, at least I try to---lol. Solving the problem in me is my heart’s desire. If there is an issue I seek God for direction cause normally if I can admit my fault and take ownership of any wrong I did it usually smoothes things over. I’m learning that I have no control over the other. But if I come correct with God I know that at least my side is clear. So if the prophet was to tell me anything about me I know it has to be confirmation to what I already know. Cause not a lot get pass me---lol.
Please bear with me. I’m jumping from subject to subject but I promise you it will all come together at the end.
Anyway……so a few weeks ago me and one of my best girlfriends had a disagreement. It’s nothing unusual for us to disagree on an issue, but this disagreement was deep. Not the subject of the disagreement, but the actions and motives behind the disagreement. It was really, really weird. It almost felt like a dark force was orchestrating it. It felt beyond my control. To me it just didn’t make sense. So I prayed about it and asked God for direction. He gave it to me and I proceeded how I was instructed. But it kinda made it worse. Usually when issues like this occur I take my hands off and withdraw. Because I know it’s an issue working in the spiritual realm.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. --Ephesians 6:12
For the past few weeks I have been totally silent. I took my hands off and I sat still. I didn’t call, nor did I make any contact with my girlfriend. I withdrew and was actually at peace with it. Another girlfriend who is friends with the both of us actually called me and we discussed the issue somewhat. The physical side of me needed to vent. It was harmless for I know that the girlfriend I vented to is a confidant and she’s not going to take sides. In fact, she’ll give it to me straight. Strange thing is that she too was speechless and had nothing to say.
So then Sunday came. Sunday, Sunday. Sunday was supposed to be the last day that the prophet was to be at my church. I wasn’t expecting a prophecy although everybody and their momma was getting one. I was content and happy to hear everybody else’s prophecies----especially the ones he gave to my sister.
Anyway, so I was sitting in the back of the church and the prophet instructed the congregation to walk up to the altar and place our car keys in his hand, but take them back immediately. Now….out of ALLLLLL the people in the church, two of us car keys fell to the floor---me and another lady’s. So the prophet called the lady back up and he prophesied over her. And then he called me up. What he told me broke my heart. Let me just say that I am not led to tell the prophecy on this public medium, but I will say that the sadness I felt in my dream as I was celebrating my marriage with my husband was the same sadness I felt when the prophet revealed to me about a certain person I held dear in my life. The reason why I was sad in the dream was because the person I thought would be happy to share in my happiness and joy is not at all happy for me.
My prayer is always that the Lord will not only open doors, but that He would CLOSE doors too. Sometimes we must allow doors to close in order to get to where God wants to take us.
.........And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. –2 Peter 1:18-21
Monday, November 2, 2009
A Deeper Relationship
Lord knows I ain’t try’na confess no sickness……..but my back and neck hurt. Its hard to tell if its sinus stuff or just plain ole body ache from serving God. I mean, I literally praised God last night in church until I had a black and blue knot on my knee when I got home. Don’t know if it was from kneeling on my knees in prayer or if it was after my pastor laid hands on me from behind that I fell under the anointing. All I know is that I hurt today. So much so that I couldn’t go to work.
Ok, so I had been thinking about something for the last few days and am now just beginning to write about it; you know…..release. Ok, so I think I finally figured something out about church folk. Call me slow, but I’m just able to get the revelation. It’s the difference between quantity and quality Christians. I think in the last few years we’ve identified the dividing line in Christianity between those who have religion and those who have relationship. Of course, relationship is what we really need. Back in the Bible days they called religious people Pharisees. But now that the church realizes we need relationship over religion we still have to dig a little deeper because there are those who measure their relationships in terms of quantity and those who really seek a quality relationship with the Lord. There are two types of Christians. And one of us is in trouble----as T.D. Jakes would say.
Ok, so I have this sister-in-Christ who I firmly believe loves the Lord, but I think there is a battle in her to be validated or recognized as a true Christian; a true example of a Christian. And I say this because…….well, the Bible says that we are judged by the fruits we bear. But instead of allowing the Lord to break her so that He can work fully in her---you know really showing the character of God and not a super Christian---she boasts about her interactions with God. Ok, I don’t know how to put it in words. Basically, she shines her light instead of letting her light shine. These type of people come off very cocky and arrogant, and not having the true nature of God upon their lives. And I firmly believe that the best witness we can have is by allowing God to work through us, not us working Him in us according to our selfishness. In other words, a lot of us can see straight through her.
For instance, she’ll say stuff like…….. “I have been praying before the Lord for eight hours straight.” Or, “I fast every Tuesday from 6:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m.” Or, my favorite……. “For the last month I have been praying from midnight to 3:00 a.m.” Nothing at all wrong with this because when you come to the point where you can sustain physically and Spiritually for that long in your pursuit with God, it can be a little boastful. I’ve been there. I remember when I did my first all-nighter; 24 hours to be exact. I was hyped. I even blogged about it. The flesh gives you some golden bragging rights. But then I felt stupid. Cause c’mon……this is your intimacy with God. I mean, to me its already a little weird sharing your personal time in a boastful way, but then to put a clock on it……well, I have my thoughts about this. That’s like me saying to whoever……… “me and my husband make love every Friday morning for two hours straight.” I don’t know what’s worse…….me boasting about it to everyone or me having a clock on it. It really makes one wonder………how much of a quality relationship do they have if its confined?
Soooo……….I’ve noticed that there are a lot of Christians who measure their relationships in terms of quantity. If its not how much time they spend with the Lord, its how long they stay in church on Sunday. Or how many days per week they are in church. And then the new thing……how much money they gave. And the church supports this. A few years back, somebody told me that their pastor posts the non-tithers in the church bulletin, and how much others give in offerings (very blank stare). I mean, why???????
You know what I’ve learned over the last few days…….that God is not bound by time or money. God is timeless and priceless!!! Meaning, I can pray for seven minutes (or however long cause I don’t time it) and get a prayer through before somebody who have been praying for seven hours. Not comparing, but my point is that God doesn’t have a clock sitting beside Him on the throne saying, “Jill you have to pray 30 more seconds before I hear you and grant your desire.” But I think that’s what we are getting caught up in.
Ok, let me give it to you straight. What matters in prayer and fasting is that you get a breakthrough!!! I mean, the discipline and all is nice, but the bottomline is……did God hear me. And you’ll know when you get it. I was in prayer today and like all of my prayer time it starts off a little routine with thanking Him and the normal….. “please bless my family, my home, my finances, etc.” But when I present the thing that is really on my heart like asking the Lord to forgive me for something I did or said over the weekend I pray hard, most times in tongues, until I get that breakthrough. Or I can just be in prayer worshiping God, not asking for nothing just thanking Him for His goodness. And I’ll get my breakthrough. And I know when I get it because I start crying and it is like I’m releasing everything over to Him and He’s taking it from me. And then I feel light. And at peace. And secure. And that may happen on a Friday night, Monday morning, at lunch time, or whenever. I’m not keeping tabs. And I’m surely not counting.
[The purpose is] that through the church the complicated, many-sided wisdom of God in all its infinite variety and innumerable aspects might now be made known to the angelic rulers and authorities (principalities and powers) in the heavenly sphere. This is in accordance with the terms of the eternal and timeless purpose which He has realized and carried into effect in [the person of] Christ Jesus our Lord, in Whom, because of our faith in Him, we dare to have the boldness (courage and confidence) of free access (an unreserved approach to God with freedom and without fear). --Ephesians 3:10-12
Ok, so I had been thinking about something for the last few days and am now just beginning to write about it; you know…..release. Ok, so I think I finally figured something out about church folk. Call me slow, but I’m just able to get the revelation. It’s the difference between quantity and quality Christians. I think in the last few years we’ve identified the dividing line in Christianity between those who have religion and those who have relationship. Of course, relationship is what we really need. Back in the Bible days they called religious people Pharisees. But now that the church realizes we need relationship over religion we still have to dig a little deeper because there are those who measure their relationships in terms of quantity and those who really seek a quality relationship with the Lord. There are two types of Christians. And one of us is in trouble----as T.D. Jakes would say.
Ok, so I have this sister-in-Christ who I firmly believe loves the Lord, but I think there is a battle in her to be validated or recognized as a true Christian; a true example of a Christian. And I say this because…….well, the Bible says that we are judged by the fruits we bear. But instead of allowing the Lord to break her so that He can work fully in her---you know really showing the character of God and not a super Christian---she boasts about her interactions with God. Ok, I don’t know how to put it in words. Basically, she shines her light instead of letting her light shine. These type of people come off very cocky and arrogant, and not having the true nature of God upon their lives. And I firmly believe that the best witness we can have is by allowing God to work through us, not us working Him in us according to our selfishness. In other words, a lot of us can see straight through her.
For instance, she’ll say stuff like…….. “I have been praying before the Lord for eight hours straight.” Or, “I fast every Tuesday from 6:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m.” Or, my favorite……. “For the last month I have been praying from midnight to 3:00 a.m.” Nothing at all wrong with this because when you come to the point where you can sustain physically and Spiritually for that long in your pursuit with God, it can be a little boastful. I’ve been there. I remember when I did my first all-nighter; 24 hours to be exact. I was hyped. I even blogged about it. The flesh gives you some golden bragging rights. But then I felt stupid. Cause c’mon……this is your intimacy with God. I mean, to me its already a little weird sharing your personal time in a boastful way, but then to put a clock on it……well, I have my thoughts about this. That’s like me saying to whoever……… “me and my husband make love every Friday morning for two hours straight.” I don’t know what’s worse…….me boasting about it to everyone or me having a clock on it. It really makes one wonder………how much of a quality relationship do they have if its confined?
Soooo……….I’ve noticed that there are a lot of Christians who measure their relationships in terms of quantity. If its not how much time they spend with the Lord, its how long they stay in church on Sunday. Or how many days per week they are in church. And then the new thing……how much money they gave. And the church supports this. A few years back, somebody told me that their pastor posts the non-tithers in the church bulletin, and how much others give in offerings (very blank stare). I mean, why???????
You know what I’ve learned over the last few days…….that God is not bound by time or money. God is timeless and priceless!!! Meaning, I can pray for seven minutes (or however long cause I don’t time it) and get a prayer through before somebody who have been praying for seven hours. Not comparing, but my point is that God doesn’t have a clock sitting beside Him on the throne saying, “Jill you have to pray 30 more seconds before I hear you and grant your desire.” But I think that’s what we are getting caught up in.
Ok, let me give it to you straight. What matters in prayer and fasting is that you get a breakthrough!!! I mean, the discipline and all is nice, but the bottomline is……did God hear me. And you’ll know when you get it. I was in prayer today and like all of my prayer time it starts off a little routine with thanking Him and the normal….. “please bless my family, my home, my finances, etc.” But when I present the thing that is really on my heart like asking the Lord to forgive me for something I did or said over the weekend I pray hard, most times in tongues, until I get that breakthrough. Or I can just be in prayer worshiping God, not asking for nothing just thanking Him for His goodness. And I’ll get my breakthrough. And I know when I get it because I start crying and it is like I’m releasing everything over to Him and He’s taking it from me. And then I feel light. And at peace. And secure. And that may happen on a Friday night, Monday morning, at lunch time, or whenever. I’m not keeping tabs. And I’m surely not counting.
[The purpose is] that through the church the complicated, many-sided wisdom of God in all its infinite variety and innumerable aspects might now be made known to the angelic rulers and authorities (principalities and powers) in the heavenly sphere. This is in accordance with the terms of the eternal and timeless purpose which He has realized and carried into effect in [the person of] Christ Jesus our Lord, in Whom, because of our faith in Him, we dare to have the boldness (courage and confidence) of free access (an unreserved approach to God with freedom and without fear). --Ephesians 3:10-12
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